Education - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Handwriting Problems

Handwriting is the most obvious feature of “the second R,” and is a means to an end. Students who can write legibly and with reasonable speed are not deterred by weak handwriting skills from expressing themselves. Thus it is obvious that handwriting should become routine as rapidly and efficiently as possible. It should not be stressed at the expense of more important skills, such as those necessary to speak, listen, read, spell, or compose well. What is a Handwriting Problem? A handwriting problem exists when a student writes illegibly or extremely slowly. Everyone occasionally produces some illegible letters, but some students do so frequently enough that understanding what they have written is difficult; at this point, the difficulty would be considered a problem. Also, most children write quite slowly when they are first learning to print or write in cursive; slow handwriting should be considered a problem, however, when a student’s writing speed interfered with his or her other work. Problems with handwriting are also known as dysgraphia, a term coined from the Greek words dys meaning ill or difficult and graphein meaning to write, and is used to describe a severe problem with handwriting. Synonyms for dysgraphia include motor agraphia, developmental motor agraphia, special writing disability, specific handwriting disability, specific learning disability in handwriting. Problems Related to Handwriting Though IQ is not related to handwriting, spelling apparently is, according to Introduction to Learning Disabilities by Hallahan et al. Students with poor handwriting are likely to have poor spelling skills. Two ways in which handwriting may contribute to misspellings are: Handwriting errors may make a word look like another word; Slow, laboured writing of letters may cause a student to forget the word he or she is trying to spell. The first problem is one of legibility and the second is one of speed. Handwriting skill is also related to some perceptual and perceptual-motor skills. Wedell found that young students with handwriting problems had greater difficulties with position in space, drew poorly when drawing required crossing from one side of their bodies to the other, and did not benefit from handwriting tasks as much as other students. In her book Learning Disabilities: Theories, Diagnosis, and Teaching Strategies, Janet Lerner states that some of the underlying shortcomings that interfere with handwriting performance are (1.) poor motor skills, (2) faulty visual perception of letters and words, and (3.) difficulty in retaining visual impressions. The student’s problem may also be in cross-modal transfer from the visual to motor modalities.

June 9, 2016

Are your kids getting too much homework?

Homework is an essential part of learning independent work and self-discipline… and I think that kids are getting far too much of it. Homework should be given out with this specific purpose in mind and not because there is so much schoolwork that it can’t fit in to the school day. If kids are getting too much, it is your responsibility as a parent to take a stand. Get together with other parents in your child’s class and have something to say about it. Play, fresh air, fun and down-time are as important to a child’s development as formalised learning and discipline, particularly in the Foundation and Intersen Phases. This fits in to what I have said before about too many extra murals: Children, like all human beings, need time to be – not busy performing or excelling or proving their worth, just being. So how much is too much? If you look logically at the typical day of a school child this should become obvious: 6am-7am Waking and getting ready for school 7am-2pm School time 2pm-3pm Sport / extra murals 5pm-7pm Dinner, bathing etc. 7pm-8pm Story time or quiet time 8pm-6am Sleep (children of 7-10 years need around 10-11 hours per night) This only leaves between 3pm-5pm for homework AND games, TV time, outdoor time, playdates etc. I would say that anything more than around half an hour per day is unreasonable at Primary School level, and certainly not more than an hour. Look logically at your child’s day and make sure there is always down-time, unscheduled time, time to just be. Life needs to be in balance and we need to help our kids with this by not overscheduling their time, by taking a stand on homework and by modeling this for our kids by getting enough rest and down-time ourselves.

June 2, 2016

How to help your teenager cope with exam stress

In an increasingly competitive world, young people writing exams are arguably under more pressure than ever before, knowing that their results need to give them an advantage when applying for higher education or employment. Unfortunately, this means that they are also exposed to increasingly higher levels of stress – stress that can, if not managed properly, become debilitating and even affect their performance. Dr Gillian Mooney, Teaching and Learning Manager at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest and most accredited private higher education provider, says it is therefore vital for parents and other caregivers to monitor the mental wellbeing of learners and students in addition to their preparation, as there are a number of ways that stress can be manipulated to improve performance rather than allowing it to be an unnecessary hurdle. “At this time of year, it is not unusual for young people to experience peak levels of stress because of the nearing exams,” she says, adding that “it is important to remember that stress can both be motivating and managed”. Mooney, who has also spent more than a decade and a half as a Psychology lecturer, says adults should understand that stress is subjective, and that what is stressful for one person, may not be stressful for another. “Stress is your body’s physical reaction to certain situations. Your body has a biological response – that is chemicals and hormones are released – in order to help you cope with a stressful stimulus. As a result, stress can affect your physical health, your mental health and your behaviour.” She says while some stress is healthy in the short term, and can help one be more productive and motivated, negative stress will cause ‘distress’, leading to feelings of anger, irritability and fear. “Negative stress may also cause physical symptoms such as a headache or stomach cramps. Exam anxiety is a kind of stress that involves excessive worrying about exams, the fear of being evaluated, and, of the consequences of exams. Exam anxiety is experienced by many students and is not mysterious or difficult to understand.” Mooney says this type of stress can be easily managed if a student takes heed of the following ten tips: Believe in yourself: If you have worked consistently since the start of the year, you should be fine and there is no need to worry excessively. Don’t try to be perfect: It’s good to have goals, but these need to be realistic. If you believe that anything less than 100% means you have failed, then you are creating unnecessary stress for yourself. Don’t keep things bottled up inside: A good way to alleviate worry and stress is to confide in someone that you trust and who will be supportive, for example your parents, friends or lecturers. Keep things in perspective: Exams may seem like the most important thing right now, but in the context of your whole life, they are only really a small part. Life will be worth living regardless of an exam. Give yourself credit for getting as far as you have. Be proactive in tackling your problems: If you do not understand some of the material, merely feeling stressed about it will not help. Rather make an appointment to see your lecturer, talk to your classmates, or review a past exam paper. Get accurate information: Check all the course information and ask your lecturer. You need to know what will be in the exam, how it will be marked, where the exam will be written, and when the exam will start and end. Structure your study time: You need to study in regular sessions of about 50 minutes each, separated by 10 minute breaks. Plan for the exam: Try to arrive at the exam venue early. Wear a watch or make sure you know where the clock is in the exam venue. Wear layers of clothes so that you can adjust when you feel hot or cold. Make a list of all the materials you will need in the exam room and be sure to pack it before you go. Try to maintain a healthy lifestyle: Your anxiety levels will increase if you feel tired and run down. You can improve your resilience by getting enough exercise, eating nutritious food and getting regular and adequate sleep. Avoid the things that won’t help: Try not to drink too much coffee the night before and the morning of the exam. Avoid other students who are anxious and talkative before the exam. And avoid talking about the course material just before the exam. “If you manage your emotional approach to stress, the physical response will also become manageable,” says Mooney. “Parents and caregivers should be vigilant and ensure that if they start seeing the signs of excessive, unproductive stress, they timeously assist by providing the practical and emotional support required to help students and learners perform at their best.”

June 2, 2016

Open a book, open up your world

A book is a dream you can hold in your hand. Last year the UNESCO Institute for Statistics stated that global literacy rates were rising but despite the gains, 774 million adults (15 years and older) still cannot read and write and two-thirds of them are women. Among the youth, 123 million are illiterate. The South African Government is on a drive to improve literacy but the reality is we live in a country where the culture of reading isn’t every strong. Only 5% of parents read to their children and around 14% of the population are active readers. A large percentage of our schools don’t have libraries and our Grade 5 learners literacy levels are on a par with Grade 3 learners worldwide. Reading and literacy go hand-in-glove and if we are to get South Africans literate we need to get them reading – and to develop the love of reading from an early age. ‘Reading not only helps build your vocabulary but develops your mind, your imagination, the way you look at, and participate in the world and goes a long way to determining your future,’ says Gary Hirson, author, photographer, speaker and youth life coach. Hirson believes that reading enriches lives and his focus as an author and life coach is to help children, tweenies, teenagers and students develop a love of reading, use their imaginations to dream, set goals and achieve success. ‘The gift of our imagination is the place where all journeys begin.’ His three books – all available in English with the first translated into Afrikaans, isiXhosa and isiZulu – are aimed at different age groups and include interactive elements to make reading fun. Each story follows the adventures of siblings, Joel and Jina, and takes the reader on a journey using their imagination, while promoting self belief, goal setting and problem solving. ‘Reading is crucial to self-development,’ says Hirson. “As we read we visualise the words, the characters, the scenes. We learn new things, ideas, concepts and places, we expand our mind and are transported to new worlds. We get to understand the world a little better.’ In his quest to get youngsters loving the written word, Hirson is encouraging parents to read to their children. ‘Words, both spoken and written, are the building blocks of life,’ he says. Here are five reasons to get your child reading. #1: It expands the mind. Teaching youngsters to read helps develop their language skills and vocabulary, improves concentration and exercises their brains. The more we read the better we get at it. #2: We discover new things and learn about the world around us. #3: It entertains us and develops our imagination. With reading you can go anywhere in the world and be part of the adventure. The possibilities are endless. #4: In a busy, cluttered world, reading relaxes the body and calms the mind. #5: It’s good for our self image. By having a good vocabulary and learning more about the world through books you feel more confident and have better self-belief. ‘For me reading, imagination and learning are the basics of all education,’ says Hirson who, through the publishing of his books, now conducts workshops and talks about the power of the written word through his company Calm In Storm.

May 26, 2016

Grade 9’s: Don’t leave subject choice decisions to the last minute

Grade Nines preparing to enter their final phase of schooling next year will in coming months be expected to select the subjects that will see them through to matric. But that decision is too important to shelve away until the time comes, an expert says, and it should already be top of mind for learners who want to give themselves the best chance for success in Grade 12 and beyond. “Towards the end of the year, Grade 9-learners will be given the opportunity to select which subjects they will take in their last three years of school and be tested on during the National Senior Certificate Exams in 2019,” notes Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest and most accredited private higher education institution. “It is an exceptionally hard choice to make, and many factors need to be taken into consideration,” says Payne, adding that these choices will have a profound impact on the qualifications to which learners will have access and, as a result, the careers they will be able to follow. “Choosing subjects should not be based on a gut feel or a kneejerk towards easier subjects. They must be chosen very carefully, and only after proper research about the implications of choosing certain subjects and not others. The best way to go about making subject choices later this year, is to immediately start considering one’s options constantly, and refining them in the coming months. “This is one of the first opportunities learners of this age will have to practice strategic decision-making that will have a major impact on their lives. It should be looked at as an exciting first step into their future as adults, and also a valuable learning tool.” Payne says the process can be made much less intimidating by sticking to the following guidelines: ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO STUDY? THEN STUDY UP ON ENTRANCE REQUIREMENTS. If you are clear about what you want to do, check out the websites of both public and private higher education institutions to verify their requirements, and let that guide your subject choices. Very importantly, look at a range of different institutions and courses within your field to allow yourself some choice and a Plan B after matric. DON’T KNOW? THEN LEAVE AS MANY OPTIONS AVAILABLE AS POSSIBLE. Those who are not yet sure about their future direction should choose subject combinations that will leave them with options and room to manoeuvre later, including Maths and Science. Learners who struggle with precisely these subjects, should consider keeping only one of them to focus their efforts. And Maths Literacy should only be considered as a last resort, Payne says. CONSIDER WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. As you spend time at your desk every day, going from class to class, and completing your homework, be alert to which subjects make you come alive a little more than others. Determine which subjects mirror your interests and career dreams, and include them. And carefully research how your favourite subjects manifest in the working world, as you may potentially have more – and more interesting – options than you are currently aware of. CONSIDER WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT. Choose at least two subjects in which you can do really well. Admission to higher education is performance-based, so it makes sense to do very well in some subjects rather than badly in all of them because you chose only gateway subjects. DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. You may think you won’t stand a chance of getting good sufficient grades to enter higher education post matric. But remember that the South African National Senior Certificate has four levels of pass. While one of them is the degree pass, you could also qualify for diploma or higher certificate study. These two qualifications, which are normally vocationally or career-focused, could give you access straight to the world of work and even degree study if you wanted to do it later. There are also options in public and private FET Colleges, or you may even be entrepreneurial and want to start your own business. “The key to making the best subject choices for your future self is to ensure you do your research thoroughly, and at a comfortable pace so you don’t have to rush the decision. Don’t leave it until the end of the year, when you might be tempted to just tick the same boxes your friends are ticking, and in the process set yourself up for frustration and disappointment,” says Payne.

May 3, 2016

Why It Pays To take Grade 11 As Seriously As Matric

Throughout one’s school career Grade 12 – Matric – is viewed as the ultimate year, the year in which you have to account for what you learned in the decade before, and the year whose results will follow you for the rest of your life. But what learners and parents don’t realise, is that Grade 11 can arguably be considered as important, if not more so, than one’s final year, an education expert says. “There are at least five reasons why Grade 11 learners should take this year very seriously, and put as much effort into it as they will next year,” says Dr Felicity Coughlan, Director of The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest and most accredited private higher education provider. She says the penultimate school year is a significant one because it provides: 1) INSURANCE “The effort you put into Grade 11 can be considered as insurance should something go awry in the future,” says Dr Coughlan. “There are an increasing number of institutions that make provisional offers based on your Grade 11 results, and many will still admit you even if your Grade 12 is a little less strong. But if your results in Grade 11 are weak, you have nothing to fall back on.” 2) EXAM FOCUS Teachers set Grade 11 exams to mimic the format and complexity of grade 12, says Dr Coughlan. “That means that taking your Grade 11 exams seriously will help you understand how you are doing and how ready you will be for your final exams. It helps you to work out where you need to apply more focus. “This year’s exams provide a measure of where you are, and should be treated as part of your preparation for your finals.” 3) OPPORTUNITY TO EXPERIMENT Dr Coughlan says that Grade 11 allows some time for experimenting before crunch-time arrives. “Learn new study methods and stress management methods, and experiment with things you have not done before, like study groups and mind maps. Finding a variety of study techniques and approaches that work for you will allow you to enter Grade 12 with a revision system that will make you perform at your best.” 4) OPPORTUNITY TO TEST TIMING If you keep good track of how long it takes you to master different kinds of work, that will allow you to draw up an accurate study plan next year. “Knowing your pace of work means you will be able to revise with enough time allocated right from the start, so that you don’t run out of days before you run out of work to revise.” 5) A CHANCE TO CAREFULLY EVALUATE POST-MATRIC OPTIONS Assessing their Grade 11 results and performance empower learners to make better decisions about their post-school direction, including about which options are available to them, what courses to apply for and where. “Learners should start working out their ‘points’ for higher education entrance from Grade 10,” says Dr Coughlan. “This means they should thoroughly research the courses they want to study and the results they need for their application to be accepted. In Grade 11, learners are then able to monitor how realistic their aspirations are and where they need to do more work, which will reduce uncertainty when applying.” Matric does not start in your last year of school, Dr Coughlan says. “Matric is not a year-long event, but rather a two-year long project. If you start applying your mind to your final exams right now and take the long view coupled with a strategy, you will be able to deliver your absolute best when you sit for your finals in a year and a half’s time, and significantly improve your chances of being able to follow your dream post-Matric.” Notes: The Independent Institute of Education (IIE) is the largest, most accredited registered private higher education institute in South Africa. It has a history in education and training since 1909, and its brands – Rosebank College, Varsity College, Design School Southern Africa (DSSA) and Vega – are widely recognised and respected for producing workplace-ready graduates, many of whom become industry-leaders in their chosen fields. The IIE offers a wide range of qualifications, from post-graduate degrees to short courses, on 20 registered higher education campuses across South Africa.

April 21, 2016

Why I Decided To Homeschool

This was not the easiest decision I’ve ever had to make. I love my work. I love my kids. Not necessarily in that order. Making the decision to homeschool is not for everyone, and although I definitely thought it was for me, I knew it would involve some major changes both to my life and the rest of my family. So why did I do it? Let me start by saying we were on our 5th school by the time I pulled my kids out of the system. I finally had to admit that I was never going to find a school that I liked because I didn’t agree with school in general. At heart I am both a rebel and a non-conformist and I find the system in general oppressive to creativity, limiting to an above average child, draining on a child’s natural energy and love of learning, and on the whole unnatural (I really don’t believe that any child was designed to sit for 5 hours or more a day). On top of that I had some particular challenges to deal with, specific to my own children. Both my kids have what is clinically termed as “tactile defensiveness” but which I prefer to call being more attuned to your environment than everyone else! It means that they find certain textures and fabrics absolutely unbearable. School uniforms were a nightmare. My daughter cried at least once a day through the whole of Grade One just because the uniform was bothering her. And for the life of me I could not think of a good reason to give her as to why she had to wear it. Along with this heightened sensitivity comes an aversion to too much noise. A classroom is not the easiest place to concentrate for any child, but for one who struggles with excess noise it is virtually impossible. And to top it off, both my girls are particularly bright (they both score 3-5 years above their age group on all developmental assessments) and extremely creative. School is simply not set-up for the gifted child (and by the way, I see all children as gifted – it just takes someone with time and love to find out what their gifts are). They were bored and frustrated at having to continually work below their abilities. We were also unfortunate enough to encounter some very uninspired teachers along the way – teachers who have no intention of going the extra mile, who are not interested in finding out what the children’s values are and communicating to them in a way that will inspire them, who have lost their own love of learning and are slowly killing it in the children in their care. We did, of course, come across some amazing teachers too, but they were sadly in the minority. My kids, particularly the eldest, hated school. In Grade One! I personally loved school until I got to the higher grades, and I couldn’t imagine going through 13 years of hating a system and feeling there was no escape. I was lucky enough to know a few people already homeschooling and was able to see the joy and love of learning that had been reinstated in these homes, and I felt inspired. I figured that there was no way that I could do a worse job than some of the teachers we’d encountered, and at least whatever I did would be done with love. Of course, I am at an advantage. For a start, both my husband and I work for ourselves so we’re both fairly flexible. I’ve also studied both Child Psychology and Education as part of my BA degree. And I’ve trained in coaching which included a lot of information on how the brain works, how we process information, and more importantly how we learn. So although I didn’t have a teaching diploma, I did feel confident that I could make it work. Not that it’s brain-science, mind you. If you relax and allow your children to guide you they’ll surprise you with how eager they are to absorb their worlds. But it still wasn’t an easy decision. I had to completely overhaul the way that I work, as did my husband. We had an incredible learning curve trying to figure out what the curriculum was and how much of it we actually needed to adhere to. We had to teach ourselves to relax with complete uncertainty and an initial lack of structure. I’ve literally spent the last few months “unschooling” myself so that I can be open to how and what my children want to learn and fitting in with them instead of them having to fit in with some predetermined system. Has it been easy? No. Has it been worth it? To see my children wake up after having had enough sleep, to not have to rush them through breakfast and force them into uncomfortable clothes, to allow them the freedom to move and eat and play and laugh and talk and be natural children, and to see them blossoming into eager learners filled with joy and curiosity… I’d say yes, it has.

April 19, 2016

A, B, Zzzz

Sleep is a basic physiological need – it is crucial for our health because when we are asleep, our bodies repair and restore themselves. Children, especially, need quality, consistent sleep to thrive. A good night’s sleep not only prepares their bodies for tackling the next day, but it also significantly affects their behaviour – children who do not get enough sleep can easily become irritable and moody, and they may display more impulsive or defiant behaviour. In addition, poor or inadequate sleep can lead to cognitive problems that impact their ability to learn. Despite the importance of sleep, most children get less than the recommended amount – roughly 10 hours each night for school-aged children – needed for their bodies to rest and for their brains to process what they learned during the day (children take on enormous amounts of information daily, and their brains transform subconsciously learned material into active knowledge while they sleep). Of course, getting children to bed on time is not easy! Many master the art of stalling from a young age, while some obstinately fight the Sandman for as long as they can. For others, getting a good night’s sleep may be hindered by sleep disorders, such as sleepwalking, nightmares or insomnia. Some medications, including those for asthma or ADHD, may also affect sleep. Getting your child to bed on time is vital, and there is much you can do to help establish good sleep habits from a young age. Set a routine: Create a predictable age-appropriate routine to help your child prepare for bed. This may include a warm bath, reading or listening to quiet music, etc. Be consistent: Keep bedtime at a set time, even on weekends. A regular bedtime keeps your child’s circadian rhythms on track and is instrumental in allowing him to easily fall and stay asleep. Create a soothing environment: Your child’s room should be a calm and free from stimulation at bedtime. It should ideally be cool, dark and quiet. Encourage other healthy habits: Ensuring that your child gets at least 20 minutes of exercise a day will help him to sleep better at night. Also, limit foods that contain caffeine and sugar, especially in the late afternoon and evening. Limit screen time: Cut off screen time at least one hour before bed. Not only is watching TV or playing games on a tablet or computer stimulating, but it suppresses the body’s release of melatonin, the hormone that helps regulate sleep. Benefits of getting enough sleep It promotes growth: Getting enough sleep guarantees that children’s bodies are producing the right amount of hormones to help them grow. It boosts the immune system: During sleep, the body produces the antibodies needed to fight infection, illness, and stress. It reduces the risk of injury: Children are clumsier and more impulsive when they don’t get enough sleep, making them more accident prone. It regulates emotions: Being overtired can make it difficult for children to manage their emotions, making them cranky and irritable. It influences health: Consistently poor sleep habits in childhood set the stage for adult sleep problems, and place children at greater risk for childhood obesity, as well as adult obesity and diabetes later on. It boosts learning: When children are tired they have more trouble paying attention, are less able to acquire and process new knowledge, and are often unable to effectively store and retrieve information from memory. All of these things are critical components of learning. Sleep is an essential building block for your child’s overall health, well-being and academic success, so make sure that your child is getting enough zzzz’s. Impak is a curriculum provider for home, tutor and school education. Visit www.impak.co.za for more information.

April 6, 2016

Don’t Be PENalised For Not Being Able To Write

You helped your child prepare for his history test. He could recite all the answers and there was no question that he was going to ace it. And yet, when he received back his test results, he barely made the grade as he wrote down only half of the answers! Why? Thanks to the e-age we live in, children have sadly lost their ability to literally put down pen to paper and write. Step into a class these days and you are more likely to find e-books and tablets than pen and paper. Pupils can type faster than they can write and apps and online learning devices are the norm. “You must get on with the times.” “If you are not online, you’re doomed.” “Your child will miss out.” While there is some truth in these statements, one cannot ignore the fact that pupils will (for the foreseeable future at least) still have to write their exams manually – that is: putting pen to paper. It’s like Master Chef – if the food is not on the plate it cannot be judged. Likewise, if your child does not write down all he or she has learnt, it cannot be assessed. And, while we’re on the Master Chef analogy: if the plating of the dish is messy – i.e. if your child’s handwriting is illegible, it will also be penalised. So, go and buy more pens and pencils next time you go to the iStore. Not only will your child practice his/her critical hand-eye-co-ordination skills, but stand a better chance of acing his/her next exam. Reasons why many people think hand writing skills are a thing of the past: Children need to practice typing skills as all learning will eventually be computerised Schools are switching to e-books, tablets are used in classrooms, homework tasks are given on tablets There are many apps available for online learning, assessments, note taking – replacing the pen and exercise book Reasons why children still have to practice writing: It has been proven that reading and spelling are linked to the formation of letters in the early years Study notes, class work and assessment are all still done on paper with a pen It will still take some time before all learning will be computerised Illegible handwriting costs marks: “labored handwriting creates a drain on mental resources needed for higher-level aspects of writing, such as attention to content, elaboration of details, and organization of ideas.” * * Spear-Swelling, L. The Importance of Teaching Handwriting. Retrieved from http://www.readingrockets.org/article/importance-teaching-handwriting

April 6, 2016

ADD / ADHD and Alternative Treatments

Over the past years there have been many debates and controversy discussions around what Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is? Furthermore how it is diagnosed and what are all the options to treating the disorder? The definition of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has been updated in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). This revision is based on nearly two decades of research showing that ADHD, although a disorder that begins in childhood, can continue through adulthood for some people. Changes to the Disorder ADHD is characterized by a pattern of behaviour, present in multiple settings (e.g., school and home), that can result in performance issues in social, educational, or work settings. As in DSM-IV, symptoms will be divided into two categories of inattention and hyperactivity and impulsivity that include behaviours like failure to pay close attention to details, difficulty organizing tasks and activities, excessive talking, fidgeting, or an inability to remain seated in appropriate situations. Children must have at least six symptoms from either (or both) the inattention group of criteria and the hyperactivity and impulsivity criteria, while older adolescents and adults (over age 17 years) must present with five. Treatment options There are a number of treatment plans that are available to parents when making the appropriate decision when treating their child for ADD/ADHD. Nutritious meals, play, exercise, and learning better social skills are all part of a balanced treatment plan that can improve performance at school, improve your child’s relationships with others, and decrease stress and frustration. Pharmacological Treatment Stimulants such as Ritalin, Concerta and Adderall are often prescribed for attention deficit disorder. Such medications may help your child concentrate better or sit still, however there is a general debate as to whether or not medication is a ‘quick fix’ and what about the long term affects as well as immediate side effects of appetite suppression, insomnia and an overall change in the child’s personality? For some parents they have found medication to be the best result for their child, while others look for alternative treatments and see pharmacological treatment as the last resort. Homeopathy There are many other effective treatments that can help children as well as adults with ADD/ADHD to improve their ability to pay attention, control impulsive behaviour, and curb hyperactivity. According to Dr Raakhee Mistry who is a Homeopath, commented that Homoeopathy has often been used to assist with ADD and ADHD and has been effective. But unlike conventional medicine, there is no one particular homoeopathic medicine for these conditions. The ADD and ADHD symptoms for that particular child and factors that aggravate or ameliorate the symptoms, are taken into account when selecting the remedy for the child. Homoeopathic medicines do not numb or block symptoms, instead they work with the body to re-establish a state of equilibrium. When the patient is in this equilibrium state, the symptoms ease and the patient is able to function better. The aim of homoeopathic treatment is not to keep a patient dependent on medicine, but rather to bring the patient to the space where he/she can maintain this equilibrium state. Many homoeopaths also incorporate other modalities to their treatment such as supplements, herbs and probiotics. A child’s restlessness and ability to concentrate has also been linked to the state of the child’s gut Nutrition Good nutrition can help reduce ADD / ADHD symptoms. Studies show that what, and when, you eat makes a difference when it comes to managing ADD/ADHD. The following tips can be seen below  By scheduling regular meals or snacks no more than three hours apart is a useful tip, which will help keep your child’s blood sugar level, minimizing irritability and supporting concentration and focus.  Try to include a little protein and complex carbohydrates at each meal or snack. These foods will help your child feel more alert while decreasing hyperactivity.  Check your child’s zinc, iron, and magnesium levels. Many children with ADD/ADHD are low in these important minerals. Boosting their levels may help control ADD/ADHD symptoms. Increasing iron may be particularly helpful. One study found that an iron supplement improved symptoms almost as much as taking stimulant medication.  Add more omega-3 fatty acids to your child’s diet. Studies show that omega-3s improve hyperactivity, impulsivity, and concentration in kids (and adults) with ADD/ADHD. Omega-3s are found in salmon, tuna, sardines, and some fortified eggs and milk products. However, the easiest way to boost your child’s intake is through fish oil supplementsTips for supporting your child’s treatmentIn order to encourage positive change in all settings, children with ADD / ADHD need consistency. It is important that parents of children with ADD / ADHD learn how to apply behavioural therapy techniques at home. Children with ADD/ADHD are more likely to succeed in completing tasks when the tasks occur in predictable patterns and in predictable places, so that they know what to expect and what they are supposed to do.  Follow a routine. It is important to set a time and a place for everything to help a child with ADD/ADHD understand and meet expectations. Establish simple and predictable rituals for meals, homework, play and bed.  Use clocks and timers. Consider placing clocks throughout the house, with a big one in your child’s bedroom. Allow plenty of time for what your child needs to do, such as homework or getting ready in the morning.  Simplify your child’s schedule. Avoiding idle time is a good idea, but a child with ADD/ADHD may become even more distracted and “wound up” if there are too many after-school activities.  Create a quiet place. Make sure your child has a quiet, private space of his or her own. A porch or bedroom can work well too as long as it’s not the same place as the child goes for a time-out.Set an example for good organization. Set up your home in an organized way. Make sure your child knows that everything

March 29, 2016

Help My Child is a Bully!

I think that any parent who has been summoned to the principle’s office relives that same dread as when this happened as a child. There is usually nothing nice to be said when the upper echelons of the school are getting involved, and to be told that your darling, who seems so normal at home, is creating havoc at school is not easy to hear. Most parents, when informed that their child is being labeled a “bully” understandably go into denial. Now let me first say that labelling your child as anything is a bad place to start. No child is a bully. Just as no child is all victim. Children, like adults, are a complex multitude of traits and behaviours, none of which define them for who they are. The quicker you stop labelling your child as this or that, the quicker you will solve even the greatest of problems. And if the teachers or other staff at your child’s school are labelling kids, well, you need to step in and set this straight. By labelling kids we define them in a certain way, create certain expectations of them, and ultimately this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as they live up (or down) to our expectations. Bullying, like all mis-behaviour, is born out of a desire to fulfil a need. We all have certain human needs that must be fulfilled in order for us to survive. These include the need for certainty, variety, love/connection and significance. Briefly, we can elaborate on them like this: Certainty – the need to know that things will be the same, the need for routine, to know what our boundaries are and that they will stay the same, to know that we will have enough food, water, shelter etc, to know that the world that we wake up in tomorrow will look like the one we woke up in today. Variety – the need for things to be different – to have treats and breaks from routine and a bit of excitement and change, to shake things up a bit, to spice things up a bit to alleviate boredom. Love/Connection – to feel unconditionally loved, loved no matter what we do, to be noticed and cared for and part of a group (or family), to feel understood. Significance – to feel important, unique, and worthy of being alive, to be noticed and valued for who we are. Everyone needs these needs in different amounts, but all of them WILL be fulfilled to some degree, whether this is in positive or destructive ways. If you really examine any misbehaviour you will find that your child is trying to fulfil one of these needs in a destructive way. Kids act up, bully, throw tantrums, lie, steal and fight in order to fulfil one or more of these needs that are not being met in positive ways. So when you leave the headmaster’s office, take some time on your own or with your partner to figure out which of your child’s needs are not being met and how you can help them to fulfil these needs in more positive ways. This may take some time, trial and error to get right, but it will definitely be worth it. Bullying is a cry for some need to be met and every child’s cries deserve to be heard.

March 18, 2016

Help Your Kids Get Organised

The new year has started and we are already well into the first term. This term is normally filled with meet the teacher meetings, class photos, book covering, sports tours, school camps, athletics day, inter-house swimming and so many other things. All this before we have even mentioned normal day to day school work, projects, orals and homework. I don’t remember school ever being this intense when I was growing up! As with adults, being disorganised has a severe effect on learners as anxiety will set in if they don’t feel prepared. Knowing and planning ahead will ensure that learners are prepared, and will help them achieve the best results that they can. If your child is battling to keep up with homework and tasks, please share this 6 STEP simple video demonstrated blog with them! STEP 1 – HOW MUCH TIME Kids need to know how much time they have available to do homework, projects, assignments and to study. This will depend on what sports and extramural activities they have on and what your family weekends look like. Using the downloaded time sheet, help them work out their time availability. Block off the chunk of time from the morning until the end of their school day. Block off time for any weekday or weekend sport or extra murals. Block off the time spent eating dinner, preparing for bed, showering, etc. Block of any other set commitments that they have during the week or weekend. Look at the gaps and decide how many hours they could dedicate to homework, studying & projects each day, bearing in mind that they also need some time to relax. Add up the number of hours available to study per week. Click to download the time sheet STEP 2 – BEING PREPARED Knowing that everything is done and ready by the time kids go to bed the evening before, will leave your child feeling far calmer, and will save them from getting into unnecessary trouble at school. A good idea is to have a check list for them so that they never forget anything. Check their timetable for the next day. Make sure all homework has been done. Make sure all required books are in their bags. Pack in sports and PE clothes. Check if there are any orals, projects, tests or assignments coming up soon. Get mom or dad to sign the homework diary. Any notices for parents to be given and signed. Click to download the checklist STEP 3 – MANAGING PROJECTS, ORALS AND ASSIGNMENTS Because projects and assignments are given a couple of weeks in advance, they often get forgotten or left to the last minute and then rushed through. Sometimes when there is a big task to do, they leave it because it feels overwhelming. Write down each step needed to complete the project, oral or assignment. Estimate how long each step will take. Check the time sheet to see which days are best to work on various parts of the task. Weekends are a great time to put in extra work for things like projects, orals & assignments. Work backwards in your diary from the last step & put a date that you are going to complete each part of the task. Always aim to finish at least 48 hours before the due date. This gives you time for anything that may come up at the last minute. Click to download the Project Management Checklist STEP 4 – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY When children are younger, as parents, we email, write notes and call their teachers and friends parents for them. As they get older, it is more likely to become their responsibility to do any of the following: Excuse themselves from sport. Call a friend to find out about homework. Send their teacher a message. Anything else school related. STEP 5 – ACHIEVING GOALS One of the fundamental skills for success is goal setting. Kids are never too young to learn this skill, as long as we keep it age appropriate and make it about bettering themselves and not about being overly competitive. This creates a platform for great bonding with your child, a time to find out what their dreams and aspirations are. It is also a good time to talk about their goals from the previous year and encourage them in the areas where they did not reach their personal targets and help them deal with disappointment they may be feeling as a result of this. They can use goal setting to do well in school, sports or any other areas that they wish. The long term benefit is that kids who learn to set goals while they are young, will grow up knowing how to set and reach goals. As adults this could help them in areas of finance, work and personal achievements. Know what they want to achieve. Pick several goals for the coming year. Write them down. Work out their steps to achieve them. Put dates to the various steps. Write the steps in their diary so that they don’t forget to do them. Refer back to their goals on a regular basis. Reward themselves when they achieve them. Click to download the Goal Sheet STEP 6 – USING A GOOD HOMEWORK SYSTEM It is essential to be organised at school or college. Most working people, even top managers use some form of diary or organisational system. Learning a good system now will help your child later in life. There are various different formats of homework diaries available and most do the job, but an effective system will make all the difference. The School / Student Sorted™ Planner is a system that can be used at school, college, university or even kept on their desk at home to help your child manage their time. Here are some of the features of the School / Student Sorted™ Planners: Homework is viewed one week at a time – this gives the learner a good idea of what is needed each week. There is a key on the left hand side of the diary page, which can be broken down into different subjects and sport or extramural activities. This means the daily pages can include sport, extra murals, breakdown of projects, assignments & studying, personal commitments, goal steps and any other school activities like camps, tours, school photos, etc. and is flexible enough to customise to suite each individual. It has time sheets for summer, winter and exam times. School time table. Year planners for the current and following year. Sheets to break down

March 15, 2016

How Parents Can Support Early Childhood Development

Research shows children who have parents who are actively engaged in their educational lives, do better. This is especially true when talking about early childhood education. Yet many parents have no idea of how to get involved. As a parent development specialist and a person well versed in Early childhood , I think there are 3 ways parents with a young child should be involved with their child’s education. 1) Be willing to learn about and understand the difference in the way young children and older children learn. 2) Ask about ways you can help and support children’s learning at home and do them. 3) Make time to volunteer in the centre in the ways they need you to be involved. ~Be willing to learn about the difference in how younger and older children learn Young children learn by actively observing and then acting out what they see. Young children from age six months to five years watch, listen, and learn. Children are natural observers. However, children really begin to learn as they act out their observations. We in early childhood call this acting out play. Many parents not understanding the difference between acting out observations and play for enjoyment tend to see early education as “just playing”. The truth is your child is learning through acting out a variety of situations they have observed over their young years. Early educators use observations, knowledge of child development, and open ended questions to help children link their observations with the skills they need to prepare for life and school. Older children who can think, talk, read, and interact with others use those skills to learn and play becomes a chance to unwind. Play no longer is the primary tool for learning. Older children have developed other skills they use for learning. ~ Ask about ways you can support your child’s learning at home and do them Early childhood learning involves discovery, pre–skills, and learning from the world. Teachers use the classroom setting to help children learn and grow. Parents can also do activities with their young children which can promote discovery, curiosity, and observation. Making cookies, jello, and cakes can help children to observe changes which are made by adding cold or heat. Asking open ended questions can help children make the observations. Example: when we put the jello in the refrigerator we could pour it like water now we can’t. Why do you think that happened? Your child’s teacher will have more suggestions for you. Remember when you do them with your children you are supporting their growth and development. ~Make time to volunteer at your child’s centre in the way they need you to be involved Every child care centre needs volunteers for things to run smoothly. Sometimes they need someone to help kids into jackets to go outside. Or they may need you to help serve lunch or snack. Sometimes you could be asked to help to decide on a committee which effects the whole centre. For instance, you may sit on a playground committee deciding to resurface the ground. Please give your full attention no matter the task and you will not only be appreciated. You will become a part on the centres’ community. This is ultimately your goal. Parents are a vital part of whole education process. Using these three suggestions as your starting point will help you to begin engaging in your child’s educational growth.

March 10, 2016

Is Home Education Right For You?

Perhaps you live on a remote farm or your child is not receiving the individual attention he deserves in a crowded classroom. Maybe you don’t agree with the ideological, cultural or religious point of view of the schools in your area, or perhaps you’ve simply had enough of the daily school run… Whatever the reason, if you have considered educating your child at home, you are not alone. In fact, an increasing number of parents are taking on the role of “teacher”. According to the Homeschooling Curriculum Guide, the home education market is growing at a rate of 20% per year! Five reasons parents choose home education: Investing time in your child’s emotional, social, physical and intellectual development: If you choose home education, you take complete responsibility for your child’s education and development. You will be there every step of the way on their journey to adulthood. Flexibility to accommodate your child and your family’s specific needs: Home education allows you more freedom to accommodate a wide range of needs or to simply deal with life as it happens. Perhaps you have to travel frequently for sport or performance commitments, live far from school or suffer a tragedy in the family. It also helps a child who has trouble dealing with peer pressure, is struggling with language barriers or who cannot fit into a rigid school system. Control over the quality and content of your child’s curriculum: A key feature of home education is that children can progress at their own pace, in their own time. It also offers you the opportunity to make decisions about the content of your child’s curriculum. Research the various curriculum providers and choose the one that best suits your circumstances, expectations, norms and values. A good curriculum provider will offer you the necessary material and assistance to guide your child from Grade R to Grade 12. Creating a safe environment for your child to thrive: To be educated in the safe and familiar environment of the home is a wonderful experience for children. No more negative peer pressure, bullying or compromise on religious or moral beliefs. In addition, children who are educated at home work individually, measuring themselves against their own performance and not a class average. As such, these children learn to identify their own strengths and weaknesses, they always have to take responsibility for their performance, and they quickly learn that the outcome of their work equals their input. Have fun! It is such a privilege to spend the day with your child, to be a part of their learning process and see the awe on their faces as they discover more about the world. Enjoy this time that you have together and have fun in your lessons. The opportunity to explore your child’s interests and strengths is a fascinating journey – treasure it. What about children with special needs? Home education is a viable option for successfully teaching children with special needs, and parents choose this option for a number of reasons. They may be frustrated that schools are unable to provide the services their child needs, they may be discouraged by the way their child is treated by classmates, and in some instances teachers, or they may simply want to create a more ideal learning environment. Whatever the motivation, the benefits of educating children with special needs at home are varied and include: Guaranteed one-to-one instruction. Effective control over the environment to minimise distractions. Tailored instruction based on a child’s unique learning needs. Flexibility to adjust the daily schedule. More pertinent and productive learning. Greater opportunity for teaching real-world skills. Opportunity to tend to a child’s sensory needs. What does the law say? According to Section 51 of the South African Schools Act (Act 84 of 1996), home education is a legally recognised alternative to education at registered public and/or private schools. Parents of children in Grade 1 to Grade 9 (ages 7 to 15) have to apply to the head of the Provincial Department of Basic Education to register for home education. Grade 10 to Grade 12 learners, or learners older than 15 years, are not required to register. About Impak Impak was established in 2002 as a curriculum provider to home education learners. We have, however, experienced remarkable growth over the past 14 years and in 2014 we expanded our offering to include a broad range of educational products and services for schools and tutors. We currently serve approximately 10 000 learners and more than 400 schools and tutors across South Africa. We offer a CAPS (National Curriculum and Assessment Policy Statement) aligned curriculum for Grade R to Grade 12 that is designed to ensure holistic learner development. In addition, we provide parents with all the products and services they need to successfully educate their children at home or with an Impak tutor. This includes step-by-step guidance in every subject, as well as online subject forums and other subject support services. We believe that a sound, comprehensive curriculum is more than a general guide of ideas and activities; it is a resource designed to meet each learner’s needs and to assure learning and development in all areas, including social, emotional and physical development, language and literacy skills, and creative expression. For more information, visit www.impak.co.za

February 23, 2016

Let them go… Let them go…

School started last month and yet your little ones are still clawing to you like you are delivering them to a place of intense torment and misery! The teachers have to pry your child off you and you have just discovered that they have superhuman strength. They hold so tight on to you, with those tiny arms and legs, that breaking free of their grip leaves you sweatier than a cardio gym session! Once you finally break free, and reorganise your clothes, you head to your car walking the walk of the guilty, of the unsure, of the broken-hearted and anxious parent. You second guess your decision to leave them. Every single day. And some days you cry yourself to work/home – the entire drive. When is this going to get better???! I’ve had a few parents call me over the past weeks to ask if they are doing the right thing? Are they causing more harm than good leaving them? Should they say goodbye or just sneak away? Does this aggravate separation anxiety? And my answer is this little scenario… Imagine you need to have an operation. Your mom is the one who will be taking you on the day and you are very nervous about it. Unfortunately, the day looms and there is no backing out. Your mom arrives and takes you to the hospital. You meet the doctor and it’s time for your mom to go. Which way would you prefer she said goodbye… OK my love. (HAND SQUEEZE) The doctor is here so I am going to leave you. (STILL HOLDING HAND) I am sure he’s a great doctor and it will be over before you know it! (TIGHT HUG) It won’t be too bad, you will see, and I will be back before you even realise. (HAND PAT) Good luck my love! Mommy loves you so much! I will be thinking of you the whole time. (BIG TIGHT HUG AND A WORRIED GOODBYE LOOK) Bye…. (SOFT TEARY VOICE) or…. Look darling! The doctor is here. He is so efficient – imagine how great he’s going to be in the op! I am going to go and leave you to it. I know you are in great hands and you are going to be absolutely fine. I will be back to collect you when it’s over. I love you. Bye darling. (HUG and KISS) Which one instils more confidence in you? Which one stills your concerns over the op? Just let them go. Say a very upbeat, positive goodbye that reassures them and makes them feel that if you are so happy to leave them and so confident about the goodbye, they must be in a safe place and they are sure to have a fun day. Prolonging the goodbye, giving in to the tears only makes them feel that you are also not sure about leaving them and equally worried, and if you are going to hurry back as soon as possible, it must be a terrible place to be. So… when the teachers tell you to just say a goodbye and go, trust them. And the answer to “When is this going to get better?” is, as soon as you can confidently leave them. They will pick up on your confidence and soon feel it themselves. You can do this!

February 18, 2016

Handy Tech Tips For The Back To School Run

Faryal Sacoor, Merchandising Buying Manager at Incredible Connection The back to school season is officially in full swing and many parents are still scratching their heads trying to find the best technology to help with their children’s education and learning. To help relieve you of any potential headaches, here’s a list of pointers. Many schools throughout the country are jumping on the digital age bandwagon and are now starting to embrace tablets and their associated benefits. But for some, it is still quite unnerving to say goodbye to traditional handbooks and embrace everything in electronic format. Without sounding too Borg-like, resistance seems to be futile. In fact, today’s learners are embracing a medium they have grown comfortable with given the growth of digital music and video, games, apps, and instant messaging. It’s often hard to believe that the younger generation are comfortable with tablets – even from as young as 2 – 3 years of age. A great example of this is the ClickTab Kids. This 7” 3G enabled tablet caters specifically for children between the ages of 3 and 10 years. The tablet comes pre-loaded with over 25 Apps and age appropriate Games for children with access to an App store with hundreds more. And for those inevitable drops and falls, the unit also comes fitted with a durable silicone rubber sleeve built to absorb the potential falls. Most importantly, is the built in parental controls that allow parents to limit the time that children can spend on the tablets, the time of day that play is allowed and even WhatsApp and games they can access. Parents can even set up profiles for different children of different ages and manage each child’s profile separately. For those with older kids, there is another tablet option with features such as voice calling, dual sim, FM radio and 3G embedded – and of course a front and rear camera to cater for the “selfie” generation, just to name a few. And in addition to a tablet, instead of relying on fingers that can very easily get dirty, consider buying a stylus. It helps with the transition from pen and paper to the screen and also enables really fine work for creative types who love drawing on their tablets. This makes a great birthday gift as well because it is so cost-effective and comes in a number of colours and styles. But tablets aside, there are also other gadgets on the market that can benefit children and do not necessarily cost an arm and a leg E-reader – there is something to be said for reading on a display that is designed to be as natural to the printed paper as possible. Factor in amazing storage and incredible battery life that potentially spans weeks and you have a more than functional device for the avid bookworm. What’s more – there are so many versions and options available that will not only meet your requirements and budget but one that the whole family can enjoy. Fitness Band – Another great gadget to consider is a fitness band like the Fitbit for example. With the rising trend of childhood obesity in South Africa, being active is vital to children growing up and this handy little device is a great way to motivate you and keep track of fitness goals which can then be incorporated where relevant across the family – ensuring that you have fun and exercise with your kids. There are a variety of fitness bands available on the market today are really great for basic use and most of them work very well in practise. In the end, your buying decision needs to be based around comfort and aesthetics. Of course, parents also should never lose sight of safety and security. This means for whatever technology you choose an anti-virus or internet security programme is a must. Most feature parental controls to help with internet monitoring as well as time restrictions when it comes to surfing the internet or playing games. Fortunately, many of the more well-known solutions come with multiple licenses so parents can install them on a tablet, laptop, and smartphone without any hassles. And of course you don’t want the hassle if something goes wrong with your products – so make sure you check warranties and return policies. Go for a technology outlet that offers a no-nonsense warranty 1 year swop out and even better, if they have a rental options or trade in options available, where you can bring in your old tech and get a great deal on new models then even better! Technology is a great aid for children and parents alike. While it might be intimidating at times, using the internet for research or asking staff at a retail outlet for advice and assistance should make the transition that much easier to ensure you get a fun and educational device for your kids, but one that is also safe and provides peace of mind for mom and dad.

February 12, 2016

Headaches – A Leading Cause Of Absenteeism

In a developing economy such as South Africa a healthy work force is vital for future growth. It is therefore not only necessary, but vital to identify causes of absenteeism amongst working-age adults. A recent study found that not only are migraine and tension-type headaches among the most common causes of lost work time, but the prevalence is around the age of 40 – a time when individuals are at the peak of their work abilities. The study was published in Occupational Neurology and examined the substantial impact of headaches on individual work productivity. Furthermore, it found that it also places a burden on the employers and society in terms of medical costs. The research also indicates a difference in demographics which is also reflected in absenteeism: Approximately 18% of females and 6% of males in the general population suffer from migraines. Dr. Elliot Shevel, a South African migraine surgery pioneer and the medical director of The Headache Clinic, says chronic daily headaches (which mean 15 or more headache days per month) are a leading cause for absenteeism and it represents a widely accepted stage of pain progression that occurs in 2-4% of the population. “Treatment of headaches can be acute or preventive. The goals of acute treatment are timely alleviation of pain and associated symptoms without reoccurrence and restoring the ability to function. This also minimizes the use of back-up and rescue medications, and is thus providing the best cost-effective management which will in turn lead to better individual productivity,” he says. “Migraine preventative medications are used to decrease future attack frequency, severity and duration, improving the response to acute treatment, and improving the overall function of the patient.” The current study suggest using preventative medications in instances where patients are reporting migraines either 3-6 or more days per month, especially when these are working days. The burden from letting headaches go untreated also results in societal costs from underemployment and unemployment among those of working age who suffer. Shevel recommends sufferers should seek professional help when headaches or migraines start to interfere with their functioning at work. “We have a multidisciplinary team who can apply both acute and preventative treatment.” Contact us on 0861 678 911 or visit our website at www.theheadacheclinic.net to find out more.

February 5, 2016

Meal planning for the child with ADHD

Ask ten nutrition experts what you should eat and you will get ten, often-conflicting diet plans. Add Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) to the mix and you will be even more confused. Firstly ADHD is not caused by diet. There have been numerous studies over the years to support this statement. Does diet affect ADHD children? Of course, Diet, as in “what we eat”, affects each one of us whether we have ADHD or not. If you feel unsteady on a stairway, you grab the banister to steady yourself. Likewise, if your child’s (or your) brain chemistry is off kilter with ADHD, favouring healthy foods engenders equilibrium. By providing a healthy diet and environment is the most pleasurable – and the least invasive – way to care for your loved ones and yourself. The information given in this article need not be exclusively for the use of the ADHD child but all members of the family will benefit from making this subtle yet effective change to their daily eating schedule. The diet for the ADHD child is the bedrock on which you need to build all other therapies. It is no use adding a handful of supplements to your child’s diet if their actual daily intake is not even meeting the basic recommended dietary intakes (RDI’s) for their age. Supplements added to a balanced healthy diet will be much more effective if taken with good food than as an isolated tablet. The ADHD child’s response to therapies like Occupational therapy, physiotherapy etc. will be much better if the child has the necessary energy resources to draw from during a therapy session. If your child requires medication to treat her ADHD symptoms then starting off with a sound, healthy dietary platform will only enhance the effectiveness of the medication. Likewise attentiveness, concentration and participation in class is a lot more probable if your child has eaten a healthy, well balanced breakfast and this is true for all children, not just children with ADHD. Allergies have also been studied extensively with their link to ADHD so let’s just briefly unpack this before we go into the details of some healthy diet tips. Children and adults, who have allergies, be they to foods, additives or the environment are not generally happy people while their allergies are aggravating them. A child who has rhinitis (runny nose) and is constantly sniffing and coughing due to the aggravation of a post nasal drip will struggle to sit still and focus on what the teacher is saying or the work he should be doing. The distinction needs to be made between ‘food allergies causing ADHD versus the symptoms of the allergy exacerbating the symptoms of ADHD. If you suspect your child has allergic tendencies to certain foods then you must get that seen to by taking your child to a specialist or undertaking an elimination diet under the advice of a trained professional. Having said all of this, changing diet is a process and not like taking a pill. It takes time, commitment and patience and more importantly ‘buy-in’ from the family members. When changing eating habits, it is important to involve the family members and give explanations. Children respond well when they understand. Children are also extremely trusting and if the change can make sense they will generally give it a good try. When making changes to the diet it is important to observe the context of the whole change process. For example if you cut out all chicken from your child’s diet, it may not be the lack of chicken that is causing irritability and discontent. It might be that you took away all her favourite meals in one shot and she’s a little upset about it. Looking at the whole picture is a good idea and moderation is always good. Wanting your child to eat well is one thing. Getting him to do so is another. As already mentioned the best way to get your child to eat well is to eat well yourself. That is having good food at hand and minimizing the less healthful choices. Letting your child help prepare food magically whets her appetite. Creating something yummy is empowering no matter what your age. Daily foods to include: Good Starches If you take in a lot of sugary treats such as sweets, fizzy and sugary cool drinks, cakes and biscuits it will cause your blood sugar levels to rise and fall due to the insulin (hormone to break down sugar) levels that will rise and fall. This constant up and down will result in mood changes and irritability. When children get a blood sugar drop, unlike us, they will try and feel better by getting busier and will do what ever it takes to stay alert which often results in over compensation. Offer low glycaemic carbohydrate foods as often as possible, like seed bread, rice, pasta, provitas etc. Foods are well labelled with Low Glycaemic Index labels and these should be foods of choice for your ADHD child. Limit fruit juices to 1 glass diluted fruit juice per day. Eat whole fruits instead. Aim to include 2 – 3 fruits per day. Offer water for thirst. Iced rooibos tea mixed with a little pure fruit juice is also a refreshing option. Remember however that it is the glycaemic (sugar) load of the whole meal that is important so including a protein with the carbohydrate will be an advantage to stabilizing blood sugar levels. This also helps when you offer starches that are a little higher on the glycaemic index, like a white hot dog roll or a tortilla. Good proteins Have a serving of protein rich food at every meal and snack, including breakfast. Sources of protein include eggs, fish, meat, cheese and soybeans, nuts, peanut butter. Eat snacks like cheese sticks and biltong slices. Good veggies For the good of your health, use a wide variety of vegetables and prepare them in diverse ways. Aim daily to include 3

February 4, 2016

Learning Using Everyday Items From Around Your Home

This article is to give you some fun ideas on how to stimulate your child’s development at home using everyday things from around the home. To touch briefly on the biology of learning, which in a nutshell is all about the brain. A child learns the most up to the age of 3 years. This is because when children are born, their brains are around 25% of the adult size, however by 1 year your child’s brain has shot up to about 66% of it’s eventual size and by the age of 3 years, your child’s brain is nearly 90% of it’s eventual size. The brain & the nerves in the spinal cord work together as a network sending messages backwards & forwards to every part of the body. Each person is born with a certain number of brain cells (in the region of 100 billion), which is the potential of the brain. What makes the difference is the number of connections between these brain cells that activates this potential of our brains. Stimulating the brain helps to connect more of the brain cells, so that we use as much of our brain’s potential as possible. This is where some of the debate around the influence of genetics and experiences that we provide for our children come into play – which is more important? Science shows us that before birth, babies’ brains develop in a predictable genetic way. But recent scientific studies show that the brain is “moulded” by experience. Some of the early connections between the brain’s neurons depend on stimulating the senses (e.g.. sight, sound, smell, taste & touch). In this way, these early learning experiences can affect the ability of the central nervous system to learn & store information. Different types of learners: Visual Learners: Like to look at different things e.g. pictures & models Will close their eyes to visualize Prefers quite environments Remembers faces better than names Auditory Learners: Are talkative & like the sound of their own voices Listens to others Can work in noisy environments Remembers names better than faces Kinesthetic Learners: Prefer to move around Very active, fidgets & can’t concentrate for long Prefers to actively participate in order to learn Find it difficult to repeat what is heard Your child will also fall into one of these types of learners, but it’s so important to add the other half of the equation before you can really gauge which type your child falls into. The other important part of the puzzle is: what is developmentally appropriate for his / her age. For example: If we look at attention span, we need to remember that it is developmentally appropriate for babies to concentrate 1 minute per year of their age. So what might feel like a short attention span for us adults, could actually be longer than is developmentally appropriate & therefore doesn’t necessarily mean that your baby is a kinesthetic learner. Everyday items for educational play: From your Kitchen: From about the 6 month sitting stage, containers are a huge hit! For example, plastic Tupperware containers or even packaging that you would throw away. Things like empty plastic milk bottles make super rattles, empty Coke bottles for encouraging crawling (loco motor skills) & empty margarine tubs make great stacking tubs. Also, an empty pot with a wooden spoon makes a lovely drum sound & starts to teach concepts like cause & effect. Experimenting with different types of food is a wonderful way to introduce different textures as well as to stimulate the control of the small muscles (fine motor) of the hand. Things to look out for: Food allergies that your child may have Safety of the object e.g.. size of the object & possibility of chocking hazard From your Bedroom: Different textures of clothing eg. Cotton, satin, velvet, corduroy, wool, chiffon which stimulates the sensation of touch. Making home made mobiles using a clothing hanger & tying different interesting objects to hang from it. This is to help with visually tracking objects. Using any soft light clean clothing to play peek a boo games, which start with the journey of mastering object permanence. Things to look out for: Safety of the object e.g.. that possible chocking hazards such as buttons are very secure on the item of clothing. Any loose cords or ties are supervised to prevent the risk of strangulation. From your Bathroom: Toiletry items that are non toxic for example, baby aqueous cream, petroleum jelly, shaving cream which all provide wonder messy tactile stimulation. Mirrors can be a wonderful source of entertainment & fun! Mirrors can be used in so many different ways for example: smearing safe toiletries on them (sensory experience), playing peek a boo with behind them (stimulating the concept of object permanence). Body brushes, loofahs & exfoliating mesh sponges are also fantastic sources of different textures which stimulate the sensation of touch. Things to look out for: That the toiletry items are non toxic & that the child is supervised so that he / she doesn’t put toiletries in their mouths. Always supervise the child around water to prevent any drowning which can happen in just a few centimetres of water. Everyday things you hope they won’t play with, but they probably will: Land line & cell phones – I’ve had mine washed in the dogs water bowl, but the favorite place for a lot of young children is to throw them in the toilet! Remotes for the TV, DVD machine & CD player – a fantastic toy from a baby’s point of view because it responds with lights & noises when they push the buttons. It does also teach them cause & effect, but there are many other objects that we would prefer them to play with that will teach them the same thing.. Appliances such as buttons & dials on the oven, stove, dishwasher & washing machines – again young babies love these machines responding to them, but they pose dangerous risks such as fire. Children really do learn through play!

January 14, 2016

When Do You Know Your Child Is Ready For Chapter Books?

We often think that pushing our kids to read chapter books and away from picture books is a sign that they are more advanced readers. Being the first to learn to read in the class may look impressive but you run the risk that that same pressure will in fact diminish a child’s independent love of reading and hold her back from achieving later on. Do not think that just because chapter books have more text, full paragraphs and fewer pictures, they are therefore more complex than picture books. Children learn certain critical comprehension skills from picture books that cannot be taught through chapter books, such as: interpreting pictures based on the information given in the text; understanding that there is more to a story than what the words convey; and visualizing a story in their own mind. Furthermore a well-chosen picture book is rich in language and vocabulary which promotes better reading comprehension. As your young child starts becoming a reader do not be tempted to throw away all the picture books on the shelf. In the transition phase the parent should alternate reading chapter books and picture books to their child. In our house my 7 year old daughter practises her aloud reading as she reads her reader from school and any other picture book she wants. At the same time I read to her at night. At the moment I am busy reading “James and the Giant Peach” by Roald Dahl to her. However, some nights she wants me to read one of her favourite picture books and I do that without question. I know she is still developing vital reading skills from the picture book. Parent tip: Simply spend time enjoying (all kinds of) books with your children

November 17, 2015

Avoid the January financial slump – get into gear for the school run!

By 1Life In between convincing your child to do their homework and fetching them on time for their extra mural activity, the cost of schooling and education may not be at the top of every parent’s mind – however, the cost of schooling can often be trying on the monthly budgets as you battle everything from text books to school clothes for children that seem to grow faster every year. Did you know that according to Stats SA the cost of education in South Africa rose by 9.3%* in March 2015 compared to March last year. Added to that, the rand/dollar exchange rate contributed to a rising costs in school textbooks and materials, resulting in South African families having to make more room in their already-tight budgets to afford the rising education costs. In light of these rising costs, 1Life provides helpful tips and advice to parents in preparation for the financial commitments ahead for 2016 and encourages parents not to wait for January, but to rather start now and avoid the post festive season rush. Use these simple, yet effective, tips to make the 2016 school run, your best yet: Start looking around for what your child needs Use the last few months of the year to start looking around for school supplies that your child may need going into the new school year. Compare prices, opt for the more affordable options and include these into your monthly budget planning – even buy some of it now, to avoid having to fork out too much later, and all at once. Start with stationery supplies such as pens, pencils, erasers, rulers, a pencil case or three – if you buy these now, you’ll save money before the beginning of the year rush and price increases. Only buy brand new, if you need to While you may want your child to have brand new school supplies going into their new grade, do they really need a brand new school jersey or can they use the one from the previous year? Always ask yourself these questions before purchasing school items: does it need to be brand new or can one from the school second hand shop do just fine? You can also speak to parents of children in higher grades than yours to see if they are prepared to hand their old clothes down, particularly for expensive items such as jerseys, blazers, dri-macs etc. This will free up some extra cash within your budget for other necessities. If your child has expressed an interest in a certain sport, avoid buying all the top line equipment, rather go second hand or less expensive initially so that if he or she loses interest, you won’t be too badly out of pocket. Try not to overspend during the festive season Although it may be easy to get carried away during the festive season, getting lured into your favourite shops to buy at your heart’s desire and spoil your loved ones – remember that your child’s education should remain a priority. Spend within your means and always make provision for extra things that pop up during the school year – school trips, cake and candy sales, Valentine’s Day celebrations, civvies days etc. It is also a good idea to put any additional money such as bonuses, or even part of your December salary away before the festive season gets into full swing – to make sure you have the money you need when the school run starts. Become money savvy this year, to help you for next year Why not register for a money management and education course which will provide practical guidance on how to best manage your money. In fact, this can be done easily and for free through 1Life’s Truth About Money initiative. Here, you can learn about sound money management through a free 8-hour online financial education course. You are also able to take advantage of debt management should you currently feel overwhelmed by your existing debt as well as plan for your family’s future with will and estate planning. In fact, 1Life are giving away 10 Truth About Money online courses (each course valued at R1 500) to 10 lucky readers who would like to get their finances on track, not just for the January school run but for the rest of their lives. To stand a chance of winning this life-changing financial literacy course simply answer the below question: Which long term insurance company started the Truth About Money initiative? We encourage parents to develop good money management habits and pass these onto your children from a young age to help them develop a good perception of managing money, as early as possible for a stable and promising financial future. Planning for the new school year ahead can be both expensive and stressful for parents – but it doesn’t have to be. Start putting effective financial measures in place as early as possible, both for the school run and the rest of the year, giving yourself the peace of mind that your child’s school needs are covered! *http://www.bdlive.co.za/national/education/2015/04/28/cost-of-education-rises-double-that-of-inflation

November 12, 2015

Life After Matric – How To Decide

This month, hundreds of thousands of young South African are sitting the most important exams of their schooling years. But the pressures at this time are a lot more than the stresses of studying and the anxieties about how they are going to perform. It is also a time of facing incredible uncertainties about the huge life-changes that are looming up ahead and the big decisions that need to be made about their lives after matric. We put Samantha Pretorius, Counselling Psychologist and Head of Programme at SACAP (the South African College of Applied Psychology) on the couch to answer burning questions from South African matriculants and parents about how best to make these all-important decisions: How can a parent support their matriculant to make a career decision that might not be what the parent imagined? Parents need to be as open-minded as possible so that they can acknowledge and support the individuality of their child. You can’t assume that your career path would be good for your child; or that it wouldn’t just because you did not enjoy it. Conflict with someone as influential as a parent about what to do after matric, can prevent your child from getting on a path to success that is right for them. If you have high hopes for a doctor or a lawyer in the family, and your child is passionate about graphic design, pushing your agenda can have a seriously negative impact. You have to remember that the impact of your perspective is huge. Children care what their parents think of them throughout their lives, whether they admit it or not. It is a great time to let go of the authoritarian role and instead become a fellow explorer and collaborator. Showing an interest helps so much, as does practical support such as taking them to open days at potential higher educational institutions. Parents can help with the research of different careers fields and types of jobs. They can activate their networks to find work shadow opportunities and help find bursary options. What they need to avoid at this sensitive stage is getting into power struggles. It is not helpful to be saying: ‘I’m paying for this, so you will…’ Keeping your focus on your unique child’s life satisfaction and future happiness will be a reliable guide for you as to what to do and say. It is also very important to realise that your child is part of the fast-moving, quickest-changing generation known in history. Career expectations, opportunities and trajectories have fundamentally changed over the last few decades. The goal of 3-decade long career with one company, in one industry has been completely overturned. The rate of tech-driven change is so fast that there will even be a host of different careers available straight after your child has graduated from post-school studies. The wise choice at this time is to be open-minded and collaborative. What’s the best way to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life? It is incredibly daunting for a 17 or 18 year old to think that they are making a decision that will affect the rest of their life. It helps to settle the fears by going through the process of making a holistic decision that takes into account everything that you know about yourself. To begin that process you need to gather all the information you can about yourself; consider, reflect on and know your skills, values, passions, talents and abilities really well. During this information-gathering phase it also helps to consult with people you trust and have your best interests at heart. Those might be your parents, teachers, other family members or select peers. Find out from them what they perceive about your skills, values, passions, talents and abilities and consider their feedback. You can then start to identify career fields that you are aligned to. Make sure you have an understanding of the different kinds of career opportunities that may be available to you in those fields once you have graduated from further studies. If you struggle to find the resources to go through this process alone you can go through a career counselling process with a psychologist who will collaborate with you and help you through this process. This could include psychometric testing which can be a reassuring confirmation of what you already know or provide new insights that you have not considered before. What if I make the wrong choice? It may seem right now that your life itself hangs in the balance with the answer to the question: ‘What will you do after matric?’ It is important to remember that while it is possible that you may not make the so-called ‘perfect’ choice initially, even a ‘wrong’ decision results in invaluable learning. For instance, if you now choose a particular degree and after your first year of study you are sure it is not for you, you have still gained a great year of new knowledge, skills and experience through the one year of training you have undergone. You will have still grown as a person. You need to try and see this not as a ‘waste’ of your time or of finances. More often than not, our greatest learning and most vigorous personal growth come from our ‘mistakes’. It helps to take the heat off your decision-making process to take on the perspective that a ‘wrong’ choice at this stage can be rectified in time, and you still would have gained many other skills from your experience, such as study skills, self-management skills, perhaps leadership and time management skills. There’s no doubt you would have improved your self-knowledge. This helps you to take on a more positive approach where you are willing to explore and open to changing course when you realise you need something different. What if I don’t know what I want to do after Matric? Should I be taking a gap year? What is the advantage of taking one? Gap

November 9, 2015

Exam Headaches

A recent study conducted at the University of Parakou found that the main triggering factors for headaches and migraines in students were sleeplessness and mental fatigue. Researchers collected the height and weight of each student, to study the factors associated with migraines. Researchers found that of 1200 students that returned their questionnaires, who were 842 males and 358 females, 171 fulfilled migraine criteria. The overall prevalence of migraines was 14.2% in each student. The main associated factors in the study were the sex of the student and family history of headaches. According to Dr Elliot Shevel the Chairman of the South African division of the International Headache Society; headaches have become an ordinary occurrence for students around exam times and many of them feel helpless when dealing with this problem. Exam stress often brings on headaches and migraines and pupils become overwhelmed by the immense pressure of performing at their best and their state of health often gets neglected. Dr. Shevel the Chairman of the South African division of the International Headache Society has the following advice for students: Dietary headache is a common affliction for students. These are usually triggered by foods that assist with energy such as caffeine and chocolate. Take note of which foods trigger headaches for you by keeping a diary and avoid these foods. A Dietary Trigger Diary is available at free of charge to assist you. Remember that skipping meals is a surefire trigger for headaches. Eat in moderation and enjoy your meals. Be aware of your posture when studying as this can result in a tension headache. Use a good chair that supports your back and that gives the ideal posture. Visit http://www.theheadacheclinic.net/ to get a free copy of the Ideal Computer Posture. Learn some easy stretching exercises to stretch the muscles of your head, face, neck and jaw. Stretching should be gentle and soothing, not agonizingly painful. Stretch your neck and jaw muscles carefully and you will get results! A free demonstration by our physio therapist Uru Chiba is available at this link http://www.theheadacheclinic.net/#!free-assistace/c17qc Beware of Medication Overuse Headache. Medication is only appropriate for someone who suffers a few times a month. According to the International Headache Society, if you are taking headache medication more than twice a week you are at risk of developing Medication Overuse Headache. This means that the drugs you are taking will cause the headache or migraine to become more severe and more frequent over time. This leads to a downward spiral into constant medication use and constant pain. The more medication you take, the more pain you are in, the more medication you need, and the cycle continues. It is important that you keep your stress levels to a minimum. Plan ahead to guarantee that you have enough time to study and that you get sufficient rest each night. One should also take regular breaks to ensure that you don’t get overworked. “If the problem persists, it is imperative that you get an accurate diagnosis” added Dr Shevel. There are a number of treatment options that can be investigated. The longer the headache persists, the more damage will be done. Dr. Shevel suggests getting to the bottom of the problem and resolving the pain permanently. For further details on the study please contact Nadia Ismail on 0861 678 911

November 5, 2015

Your Child’s Development – Making it Fun!

“Just as my maternity leave was coming to an end, I was asked by Parenting Hub to review the Skidz Activity Box for 0 – 6 Months.” Our Parenting Hub reader to whom we gave the Skidz Activity Box was preparing to go back to work after being at home for the last four months with her beautiful little boy. Because her baby boy is going to be at home in the care of his Nanny, she told us that she had been trying to find ways to keep him stimulated whilst she was away at work and so the Skidz Activity Box came at just the right time. “What I particularly liked about the Skidz Activity Box is the fact that it comes with manual loaded with information so relevant to my baby boy who is now four months old.” The manual not only gives you a list of activities that you can do from birth to six months but includes detailed instructions on how to do everything as well. These include various physical exercises that you can do with your baby, what will be achieved through these exercises, how to do them and when is best to do them. “The manual is also broken up into a weekly curriculum for 0 to 3 months and 3 to 6 months outlining exactly what you can be doing with your baby every day. What I found so helpful with this weekly curriculum was that I was able to give it to my baby’s Nanny who can follow each activity on a daily basis.” If you don’t want to follow the detailed curriculum, you can set one up that works best for you and your baby and the manual includes a section to guide you as to how to do this – brilliant! The box includes everything that you need to work with to follow the curriculum. Stimulating fabrics, toys, textures, colours and sounds. Everything that you need is included in the box. From our Mom, a big high five to Chantelle du Toit who put together this programme. She told us that she would recommend this product to all moms of little children. “Especially where you have to return to work and you’re not going to put your baby in crèche.” Skidz Activity boxes can be obtained through the Skidz website www.skidz.co.za

October 15, 2015

Tech Solutions Can’t Solve Learning Problems

As technology becomes an ever increasing element of our daily lives, educational specialists will gather to discuss how best to incorporate it in schools. However, technology cannot solve learning problems, caution Edublox. On Friday 28 August 2015 teachers and education specialists will gather with IT personnel at the Technology in Education Conference in Johannesburg to explore technology in the education sector and discuss ways to improve outcomes in the classroom, particularly for Mathematics and Science. Edublox Educational Practitioner, Louna Spies will discuss the relationship between technology and cognitive skills in Maths education. “There’s no doubt that technology is a valuable tool for learning and there are many associated educational benefits, but teachers and parents should be careful to introduce technology as a learning tool at the right time and place according to a child’s needs and ability,” says Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programmes at Edublox. Calculators, considered to be the most basic technology used in classrooms for many years, are not included in Grade 1 or Grade 2 school stationary lists. This, says du Plessis, is because children first need a foundational understanding of numbers, counting, addition and subtraction before technology can be used as a ‘short-cut.’ “Parents and teachers should note that technology cannot replace educational support for children with learning problems,” says du Plessis. Computer programs designed to improve eye movement are now widely used as an intervention tool for reading difficulties. While eye movements are important for reading, Paarl-based optometrist Lizelle Loock warns that improving eye movements will not solve a reading problem. “Vocabulary, letter sounds and knowledge of spelling rules must first be established before reading can improve; only after these elements have been dealt with can we introduce computer reading programs to increase reading speed,” says Loock. Du Plessis adds that cognitive skills such as focused attention, visual and auditory processing, memory and logical thinking also need to be developed before effective reading can take place. Computer-based reading assessments can give parents a false sense of security regarding their child’s reading ability, says du Plessis who has noted that attention and memory have been negatively affected by technology. “Children do not have the memory capability they used to have and technology plays a role in this. Given the ease with which information can be found these days, knowing where to look is becoming more important for children than actually memorising something.” Studies have found that reading from a book is more beneficial for long-term memory and comprehension than reading off a screen.* “Parts of the brain are developed through handwriting practice, something that touch-screen technology cannot provide. “There is value in writing by hand,” says du Plessis, “it helps fire up our brains to generate more ideas than typing does and it assists with conceptual understanding.” A $10 million dollar study** involving 15 computer-based reading and Maths programs, 9424 learners and 439 teachers at 132 schools in the United States found no difference in academic achievement between students who used the technology in their classrooms and youngsters who used other methods. Tips for parents Do not rely on a computer program to assess your child’s reading ability, speed and comprehension. Look for scientific reading assessments conducted by a qualified specialist. Ensure your child reads aloud to you regularly from a book they select for themselves. Ask them questions to gauge their level of understanding of what they have just read. Monitor the time your child spends looking at a screen for educational or recreational purposes, whether it is a TV, computer, iPad or cell phone. School can be very boring for a child who is exposed to technology all the time. Light from screens in the evening suppresses melatonin levels, a hormone that helps control your sleep and wake cycles. Let your child read an actual, printed book before bedtime. When your child is a good reader, use computer technology to broaden their horizons and teach them to speed read. Edublox are leading specialists in cognitive development with 22 reading and learning clinics across Southern Africa. Edublox offers multi-sensory cognitive training, aimed at developing and automatising the foundational skills of reading, spelling and mathematics. For more information about Edublox visit www.edublox.co.za. *http://mic.com/articles/99408/science-has-great-news-for-people-who-read-actual-books ** http://ies.ed.gov/ncee/pubs/20094041/pdf/20094042.pdf

September 17, 2015

Bully Proof Vests

The chances of your child being bullied or the bully at some point in their 13 years of formal schooling is quite high. The question for me is not necessarily how to stop them from being bullied (as much as we would all love to live in some utopian bully-free society), but how to increase their resilience so that if this does happen it isn’t detrimental to their sense of self or their enjoyment of school. Here are a couple of quick tips that can help… Everyone has all traits. Labelling someone as a bully or labelling yourself as a victim just exacerbates the problem. When we understand others, and can see ourselves in them, we have a much greater chance of tolerance and problem solving. While this is essential information for parents and teachers in solving the bullying in their environment, it can help the kids too to see more similarities than differences and to start to understand why someone bullies and what might be going on in their lives that has created this problem. If a child knows that the so called “bully” is being bullied themselves (perhaps by another child or a parent figure), or is having problems at home, this can help them to see it as the problem of the bully and not because there is something inherently wrong with them (and therefore labelling themselves as a victim or as flawed in some way). We need to model for and teach our children healthy self-talk. Correct your child (and yourself) when you catch them saying negative things about themselves. A simple exercise for this is to write positive self-affirming messages on your mirrors. Most people learn early on to look at themselves in the mirror and criticise. Turning this around can go a long way towards helping kids to develop a strong sense of self-worth. If you want children to learn to say “no” to peer pressure and in difficult situations you need to give them the opportunity to do this at home. So few parents respect the “no” of their children and then wonder why kids don’t respect their “no’s” or buckle under the pressure of their peers. So the next time your child says “no” to sharing their sweets with you, let their no mean no! Make sure your child’s needs are being met, particularly in times of change such as starting a new school. If their needs for certainty, significance, love, growth, variety or contribution are not being fulfilled in positive ways, they may unconsciously look to fulfil these in negative ways, which can include attracting bullies into their lives. Speak to your children often about how they are feeling, what their concerns are, and please take them seriously when they are feeling unhappy in a new situation and help them to find way to alleviate this distress. Make sure that your children are parent-oriented and not peer-oriented. One of the greatest determinants for whether a child will become a bully or become a victim of a bully is related to their level of parent vs peer-orientation. Are your children looking to you to decide what is right or wrong, where to go, what to do and how to behave or are they looking to their friends for this guidance? If a child is peer-oriented they are at a much greater risk for bullying and you are also less likely to find out about it. Peer-oriented kids try desperately to fit in and be liked and are therefore vulnerable to peer pressure. This does not only apply to teenagers, as even pre-school children can be peer-oriented. Children are more likely to be peer-oriented if they spend long hours at school and/or at play dates or extra murals where they are not properly supervised or where they do not have a good connection with the adult/s in charge. This does not mean that aftercare is out, but that you need to make a concerted effort to connect with your children deeply in the time that you do have with them – find things in common, speak to them with respect, be present for them on the weekends, etc. The more your children feel connected to you, the more resilient they are to bullying. The world is not perfect, and our playgrounds are unfortunately rife with bullying. There is simply no way we can guarantee our children a bully-free schooling experience. But, by being involved in our children’s lives, being open to honest, non-judgemental communication and by helping them to fulfil their needs and develop a healthy sense of self we can at least give them bully-proof vests!

September 10, 2015

Emotional Pain Of Bullying

Bullying takes root in children, who many times have been the victims of intimidation themselves. To soothe their own injured spirits, they appear to have the need to wound another person. It might have to do with gaining back some semblance of power into their lives. It might also stem from their desire to overcome their own fears, derived from victimisation. I am aware that when a child is intimidated by a parent, or a person they love, they are helpless to stop it or control it. Some children fear for their safety every day. They get back their control, by victimising another person. Most bullies, likely have been mistreated. The extent of their torment, might be measured in the amount of bullying they are guilty of. Actually bullies do not feel superior or impressive. They are angry and full of distrust and rage. They seek revenge because they live in fear. Their answer is to attack before you are hurt. Bullies simply do not comply with the rules, and in the process create hardships and troubles. We need to take a look at the way we interact with our children. Do we intimidate verbally, strike, or become aggressive with our child? Do we threaten, hurt, or torment the pets in our household? Once we correct it in ourselves it will be easier to amend it in our children. Watching or encouraging our child to aggressively interact with other children, promotes an acceptance of this behaviour. Infringing on the space or items of others, must be acted upon, through adult intervention. Those moments we observe our child take another child’s turn, or grab another child’s item, while we smile without interfering, we have condoned the actions. It really is demoralising for other kids, to be pushed aside or shoved out-of-the-way due to a gentler nature, or younger aged child. Might does not make it right. Stepping in to correct it a bit late, is also possibly giving a blessing to the actions. It is lame to always correct our child with the words, say you are sorry. If we make no effort to retrieve the toy from our child, we have made no point of instruction. Kids are capable of such kindness, but perhaps they believe parents expect them to behave aggressively. The parents may not strike their kids, but they expect roughness on the playing field, and in life in general. There are times to be aggressive, but there are more times we need to display an empathetic quality to our natures. Bullying in children is cutting a line, taking someone’s seat on the bus, threatening, hitting, and being aggressive verbally or physically. Bullying is also intimidation in the form of asking for part of another child’s snack at school, asking for snack money, or threatening another to refrain from telling on them. Bullying can also be deciding who will be in the club, who will be ignored, who will not get to hold a treasured item, or touch or handle a treasured toy. It can be when a child receives their paper last every time a certain child is the paper passer. Bullying can be the snarling looks one child gives to another child behind an adult back. It might be a refused request to join a game. It’s also when one is made to feel inferior. Bullying is making others do things or say things they likely do not want to say or do. When one student deliberately crashes into another student, but then states it was an accident, red flags should go up. It can be sitting on a swing so another child can’t use it. Children refrain from complaining because they fear the retaliation from a bully. Harassing is one child stepping on someone’s toes accidentally on purpose. Parents uphold a child’s persecuting of others when it is not dealt with at home, after a notification of such an incident. Home environments that encourage bullying, prevent it from being eradicated. Unless more consideration is given to these matters by parents, bullying will most likely increase. Parents must use the easiest answer of all, which is simply teaching children to stop terrorising and harassing others. By promoting kindness and respect, bullying will be wiped out. Simply following the rules teaches children how one engages respectfully with others. It is important in the scheme of life, to be aware of tolerating others. We are all required to refrain from illicit actions conducted on another person. The sooner we learn to relate to others, the quicker we have harmony. We perhaps should ask ourselves how it would feel to be in the other person’s shoes. Would we enjoy climbing aboard a bus, to be confronted with intimidation? Do we browbeat our own children, causing them to frighten others? If we do nothing to stop bullying as conscientious adults, then we have become enablers. We will continue to have and endure the difficulties we are creating. By refusing or ignoring to remedy the taunting, places an infringement on the freedom of others. In essence, kids must be saved from the tormenters they encounter in their lives. People form friendships which are wonderful. These friendships become less wonderful when they become a clique to the point of excluding others. When a chance arises, oppression will occur again. Harassment of others, perhaps stems from the degree of their own oppression. Teenagers face even more bullying with the improvement of technology. They may have no relief from these encounters with bullies. The saddest part is they will complain less because they are ashamed, demoralised and believe they are old enough to deal with it themselves. Parents may not even be aware of the extent of their child’s torments. It’s possible that adults may have started the epidemic by physically punishing their own children. Question our motives. Think about the bullying damage we do. We can’t take it back, any more than we can collect all of the feathers we dumped, from

August 20, 2015

Rethinking The Way We Plan Our Children’s Diaries

As schools reopen for the second half of the academic year, parents will once again be forced to make decisions about what extramural activities their children will take in Term 3. Be it horse riding, piano, rugby, tennis, gymnastics, squash or choir – their carefree winter holidays will soon become a distant memory. “It’s time to rethink the way we plan our children’s diaries,” says Edublox Director of Educational programmes, Susan du Plessis. “Too many children are busy going from one afternoon activity to the next, every day. They hardly have enough time to enjoy unstructured play or complete their homework, let alone succeed academically.” Parents take great pride in their children’s busy schedules without considering the effects, says du Plessis. “They sign their children up for private coaching sessions while ignoring the average school results on their children’s report cards. The likelihood of one’s child representing South Africa at the Olympics, for example, is very small, while educational success is an absolute requirement for their future.” Without excellent school results, a child’s employment opportunities are severely limited. Of 100 learners who start school, only 50 will make it to Grade 12, 40 will pass, and only 12 will qualify for university.* Of those entering university only 15 percent will get a degree or diploma.** “One cannot emphasize enough the importance of academic success for a child’s future prospects,” says du Plessis. Du Plessis said some parents also fill their children’s diaries excessively because they feel guilty that their child is not excelling in the classroom and their afternoon activities are a pleasant distraction. “There is a very long list of nice to have activities but if a child’s academic performance is of concern, this needs to be resolved first. If one doesn’t address foundational educational problems early on they only become more pronounced the longer they are ignored.” The cost of postponing learning support intervention is both financial and emotional if a child must repeat a grade. While sporting activities are recommended for physical wellbeing, du Plessis said that a balance is required. “When planning after-school activities, parents need to act in the best interests of their child, even if this means temporarily withdrawing their child from compulsory school sport activities in favour of educational intervention support.” “A coach is naturally interested in winning the next match and a teacher’s main concern is to ensure that a child passes the grade at the end of the year. Parents however have the responsibility to consider the long-term future for their child and that is to help them have as many future career choices as possible with excellent school results.” Educational intervention programmes that help children improve academically need not be life-long. “Most children need only 240 hours, or ten 24-hour days to resolve their learning problems. If this time is split over an 18-month or two-year period, it is manageable but it requires a careful look from parents at priorities and what is important and urgent,” said du Plessis. She added that as little as 100 hours of extra educational support could also transform an average student from passing comfortably to scoring well above 80%. Five practical steps for parents who want to prioritise their child’s academic success Review your child’s after-school schedule and prioritise what is urgent and important above what is a ‘nice to have.’ Ensure your child has enough time for free play outdoors. Seek a successful learning intervention programme based on substantial proof of improved school results. Include your child in the process. Explain why an academic intervention programme will help them in the long term. Inform everyone including the class teacher, grandparents and sports coach exactly how you are prioritising your child’s academic success and ask them to support you. This is very important, especially if parents have divorced, that both agree to support this process. Reward and recognise your child’s efforts to improve academically.

August 11, 2015

How Parents Can Support Early Childhood Education

Research shows children who have parents who are actively engaged in their educational lives, do better. This is especially true when talking about early childhood education. Yet many parents have no idea of how to get involved. As a parent development specialist and a person well versed in Early childhood , I think there are 3 ways parents with a young child should be involved with their child’s education. Be willing to learn about and understand the difference in the way young children and older children learn. Ask about ways you can help and support children’s learning at home and do them. Make time to volunteer in the centre in the ways they need you to be involved. ~Be willing to learn about the difference in how younger and older children learn Young children learn by actively observing and then acting out what they see. Young children from age six months to five years watch, listen, and learn. Children are natural observers. However, children really begin to learn as they act out their observations. We in early childhood call this acting out play. Many parents not understanding the difference between acting out observations and play for enjoyment tend to see early education as “just playing”. The truth is your child is learning through acting out a variety of situations they have observed over their young years. Early educators use observations, knowledge of child development, and open ended questions to help children link their observations with the skills they need to prepare for life and school. Older children who can think, talk, read, and interact with others use those skills to learn and play becomes a chance to unwind. Play no longer is the primary tool for learning. Older children have developed other skills they use for learning. ~ Ask about ways you can support your child’s learning at home and do them Early childhood learning involves discovery, pre-skills, and learning from the world. Teachers use the classroom setting to help children learn and grow. Parents can also do activities with their young children which can promote discovery, curiosity, and observation. Making cookies, jelly, and cakes can help children to observe changes which are made by adding cold or heat. Asking open ended questions can help children make the observations. Example: when we put the jelly in the refrigerator we could pour it like water now we can’t. Why do you think that happened? Your child’s teacher will have more suggestions for you. Remember when you do them with your children you are supporting their growth and development. ~Make time to volunteer at your child’s centre in the way they need you to be involved Every child care centre needs volunteers for things to run smoothly. Sometimes they need someone to help kids into jackets to go outside. Or they may need you to help serve lunch or snack. Sometimes you could be asked to help to decide on a committee which effects the whole centre. For instance, you may sit on a playground committee deciding to resurface the ground. Please give your full attention no matter the task and you will not only be appreciated. You will become a part on the centres’ community. This is ultimately your goal. Parents are a vital part of whole education process. Using these three suggestions as your starting point will help you to begin engaging in your child’ educational growth.

July 21, 2015

Learning Through Play

Research shows that children who actively engage in imaginative play and other sorts of play such as creative activities, are usually happier and more co-operative than those who don’t. They are much more willing to share and take turns and particularly more creative in their activities. They demonstrate a larger vocabulary than children who engage less in these childish activities. Through play, children build a solid foundation for future learning and open themselves to a world of learning opportunities. Early childhood development practitioners all agree that play for young children is essential. It is vitally fundamental to a child’s social, emotional, physical and intellectual development. Through healthy play activities, young children are better prepared to enter school and generally grow into secure and self-confident teens and adults. Interestingly through happy play, children begin a love of learning and prepare for life itself and for every parent, this is so important. Through activities such as cutting and drawing, they develop the muscles in their hands and fingers preparing them for future skills such as writing. When sharing materials used for creative activities, children learn to be cooperative with one another which is vital for their future social interaction on a higher level and forms the basis for positive self-esteem. And this is where the Mysmartkid programme succeeds in bringing this all together. The team at Mysmartkid understand the importance of early childhood development and how challenging it can be for parents and caregivers to ensure that their children are reaching those essential developmental milestones. This is the very reason why they created this unique programme which provides members with the guidance, expert advice and tools necessary to helping your children progress and thrive. The Mysmarkid play and learn programme is tailored to your child’s age and six key developmental areas and helps your child to reach those important milestones. The Smartbox is filled with toys, activities and expert advice and is delivered to your child every two months. You will also receive two free useful welcome gifts when you join and have immediate access to exclusive resources and member discounts. Mysmartkid will be with you every step of the way and in addition to your bi-monthly Smartbox which features carefully selected and age-appropriate books, puzzles and toys, Mysmartkid provides you with a wide supplementary range of innovative and educational games, toys and products as well – easily purchased from the Mysmartkid online store. The benefit of belonging to the Mysmarkid programme is that members have access to early childhood development practitioners such as an educational psychologist and speech and language therapist to name only a few. Playing and learning is the foundation of the Mysmartkid programme. The team are of the firm belief that teaching children through play is how they can help you give your children the best possible advantage. Through the programme they can help parents to develop those necessary key skills, build relationships and expertly navigate through what is your child’s most vital developmental phase. Mysmartkid also offers members access to the Mysmartkid blog which allows you to clearly seek out articles pertaining to the six development areas : Wellbeing Identity Concepts Creativity Communication My World This well-presented and well-written blog allows you to search for articles broken down into age groups within the six development areas, making it so much easier for you to find exactly what you’re looking for. The most popular articles are highlighted within the blog and so parents can easily see what other parents are reading. This can be a great help to parents to know that other parents are experiencing the same difficulties as them. Mysmartkid has taken pains to ensure that they cater for the needs of young children and their early childhood development. However, through the Mysmarkid programme the team has recognised the necessity to educate parents in terms of their child’s development and so at no time do parents feel like they are out of their depth with no access to those in the know. They are provided with reading material and instructions within the Smartbox to give them all the relevant tools to work with their children in providing them with the means to play, learn and grow. The programme is sound, well researched and established and as such, you can depend on Mysmartkid to be there to support parents and their little ones on this important journey.

July 8, 2015

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