Most parents will be woken at least once in their child’s life, to their little one screaming and crying from having a bad dream. Nightmares are especially prevalent in children who are between two and three years of age, as their imagination runs wild. Children want to be comforted during this time and even though it might take them a bit of time to let go of the scary thoughts and fall back asleep they will be comforted by the presence of a parent.
Many parents fear that giving toys to their children is spoiling them but it has been proven many times that play contributes directly to a child’s education and development. The important thing is to give them the right toys that stimulate and prolong play and learning. If children are to discover what they are good at, what they like, and what they are like, then they will need variety in their play, and a broad assortment of toys to make it possible. Fun Fact #1: In one study the availability of toys in infancy was related to the child’s IQ at 3 years of age Fine Motor Skills / Hand Eye Coordination: Lacing Beading Puzzles Arts and crafts Large Motor Skills (fitness & balance) Pool toys Balls/outside games Gardening sets Baking sets Language Skills: Talking toys Sound puzzles Matching words and object games Books, activity books Fun Fact #2: A review of more than 40 studies concludes that play enhances early development by at least 33% Cognitive Skills (thinking through problems): Sorting, sequencing, counting , memory, puzzling games Bead mazes Stacking toys Puzzles Construction sets Imagination Skills (pretend play) Dress up Finger puppets Props (kitchens, trolleys, dolls) Artistic Skills (arts and crafts) Drawing Painting Sand art Art and craft activities Emotional Skills Group play Stickers Dolls Dress up sets Books Auditory Skills: Musical instruments Sound enhanced puzzles Listening games Co-operative games Fun Fact #3: Children play longer and learn more when a wide variety of toys are available
The Internet and social media platforms have evolved into spaces everyone can participate in. More and more young people are coming online to connect with their family and friends over things that matter to them. It’s important for parents to have open and honest dialogues with their teens about online safety, empowering themselves to stay safe online using free tools and resources available. Meta works with experts in mental health, child psychology, digital literacy and more, to build features and tools so people can connect online safely and responsibly. In addition to offering a wide range of online safety and privacy tools across its platforms, Meta’s newly launched Family Center in South Africa, is an online portal that gives power to parents and provides them with the means to safeguard their children and teens. Available across Meta technologies such as Instagram, the Family Center offers tools and resources to manage digital experiences across digital ecosystems. Here are four ways Meta’s Family Center and platforms enable parents to support their children online. 1. Supervision tools By linking Meta accounts, parents can unlock a wide range of supervision tools that let them actively participate in their child’s digital activity. And, while teenagers don’t always think it’s cool that parents are on the app too, having an online presence can be very beneficial. Using Family Center on Instagram, parents can monitor who their teens are following and who follows them, as well as how much they spend on the platform every day. They can also set daily time limits to manage the time spent scrolling. 2. Education Hub Not every parent knows how to approach the topic of online safety, or how to enforce it. That’s why Family Center’s Education Hub is an invaluable resource, providing parents with tips, insight, and comprehensive articles that help them and their families navigate online spaces. Education Hub features expert input from leading parental organisations that specialise in media literacy, safety and communication, privacy, and overall digital well-being. 3. Healthy habits South Africans are hooked on social media platforms, spending an average of three hours and 44 minutes online each day – more than the global average. Spending so much time online can result in us developing habits, which is why it’s vital that young people develop healthy ones. For teens on Instagram, the ‘Take a Break’ feature allows them to make informed decisions and take control of how much time they spend on the app. If a user has spent a certain amount of time scrolling, Instagram will ask them if they want to take a break and suggest setting reminders to take more breaks in the future. In January Meta also introduced Quiet Mode on Instagram, a new feature to help people focus and to encourage them to set boundaries with their friends and followers. For example, when you turn on Quiet Mode, you won’t receive any notifications, your profile’s activity status will change to let people know you’re in Quiet Mode, and Meta will automatically send an auto-reply when someone sends you a DM. Meta is making Quiet Mode available to everyone on Instagram globally in the coming weeks. 4. Privacy by default A big part of being in online spaces is the level of privacy those spaces provide. As such, there should always be privacy safeguards in place that determine what information other users can and cannot see. For instance, Facebook users under the age of 16 are defaulted to certain privacy settings. This includes who can see their friends list, the people and Pages they follow, posts that they’re tagged in, and who can comment on their public posts. These are just some of the ways that platforms like Facebook and Instagram work to maintain online safety and privacy. “It’s only by taking a holistic approach, by offering comprehensive resources and effective methods to set and monitor boundaries, that we can make a real difference in young people’s lives. We want to help them connect and foster relationships in a safe and secure environment,” said Sylvia Musalagani, Safety Policy Manager for Africa, Middle East and Turkey at Meta.
With home-schooling becoming the new norm, many parents are now faced with seeing their children in a different role as a student, and they have been forced into becoming the, often ill-equipped, teacher. Some parents are finding this incredibly difficult, and especially those whose children are not getting on with the schoolwork with as much ease as they’d expect.
Temperament is defined as an individual’s behavioural style and characteristic way of responding. Therefore, it is how the child, adolescent or adult usually acts and consists of a variety of traits. Parents all over the world will have noticed that, if they have several children, each child is “different”. The differences are usually attributed to the child’s temperament (which some people also refer to as their “personality”). Researchers have paid particular attention to babies where they have noticed that some infants are born with certain characteristics, for instance, some babies are more active and constantly move their little bodies, whilst others are tranquil and yet others explore their environment at great length. In addition, some babies respond warmly to people whilst others fret and fuss. In essence, the suggestion is that individuals are born with a certain temperament which stays relatively the same throughout their lives. Psychiatrists, Stella Thomas and Alexander Chess, believe that there are three basic clusters of temperament namely “easy”, “difficult” and “slow to warm up”. An “easy” baby is generally in a positive mood, establishes regular routines and adapts easily to new experiences. A “difficult” baby has a predisposition to react negatively and cries frequently. Routines that are supposed to be consistent are irregular and the “difficult” baby usually accepts new experiences gradually. A “slow-to-warm up” baby has a low activity level and can be somewhat negative. Low intensity of mood is also common and their ability to adapt is lowered. Various dimensions make up these three basic clusters of temperament namely: Activity level (the degree of energy and/or movement for example, the difference between a child who is constantly on the go, fidgets and squirms in comparison to the child who is able to sit for long periods of time without complaining). Approach or Withdrawal (how new people are approached and situations are managed for example, whether a child is eager to try new things and make new friends or is there a tendency for the child to be cautions and taking their time to warm up to new people). Adaptability to change (the ease to which the child tolerates changes to routines, in other words is the child flexible with the ability to “go with the flow” and is not bothered by changes to his/her routines in comparison to the child who thrives on routine and who would be likely to get distressed when there are changes to his/her routines). Predominant quality of mood (the degree to which the child’s moods and general disposition are either positive or negative, namely are they optimists or pessimists. The child with the positive mood is likely to laugh and smile more readily and easily than the child with the negative mood who is more is likely to cry, whine and complain). Distractibility/Attention Span/Persistence (the degree to which a child can be distracted, for example, is the child easily distracted by many things in his/her environment or is the child able to focus. Persistence implies whether a child perseveres with a task or has a tendency to give up easily). Rhythmicity (the regularity of eating, sleeping etc., therefore does the child have a biological rhythm that is regular and predictable or not). Sensitivity to stimuli (the degree to which a child is sensitive or not. For example is the child sensitive to noise, bright lights, clothing labels and so forth or is he/she able to easily ignore external stimuli). Intensity (the degree to which mood is expressed when happy, unhappy etc. Some children display their emotions without hesitation in other words everybody will know that the child is sad or happy and they will have no difficulty crying in-front of the whole class whilst other children are thoughtful and mild and tend to keep their feelings “inside”). Thomas and Chess further believe that temperament is a stable characteristic of newborns that comes to be shaped and modified by the child’s later experiences in later life. Why is important to take cognisance of children’s temperament? When you take your child to a child psychologist they will probably ask you ‘how your child is like’, in other words what their temperament is. This has a variety of implications for play therapy and parental guidance. The child psychologist will usually work with what suits the individual child and help him or her with the coping resources which will be the most effective for his/her temperament. The child psychologist also works with the parents’ temperament in order to facilitate discipline difficulties etc. Thus, a child who for example falls in the category of expressing their emotions intensely like crying hysterically over something perceived to be relatively small will have different needs to the child who is anxious when meeting new people. How parents and other caregivers react to the aforementioned scenarios will also have implications for the child. In addition, being cognisant of a child’s temperament is also very important when they have to undergo an educational or developmental assessment by a psychologist. Children for example, who are naturally busy (the level of activity) and are very curious (distractibility/attention span) are sometimes diagnosed as having a disorder such as ADD/ADHD when in fact those characteristics are merely part of their temperament. If parents are aware of their child’s temperament they can provide activities that work with their child’s temperament which they will enjoy. A child can also be disciplined in ways that “fit” his/her nature. It is also important for teachers and other caregivers to understand a child’s temperament so that their learning is facilitated by what suits them. Temperament affects all aspects of a child’s life such as how they learn, how they play and how they interact with others and should never be overlooked.
With calculators, spell-checkers and predictive text now being a common feature on computers and mobile phones, will today’s children still need strong mental skills to get by? Using technological software may be quick and easy, but there are real disadvantages that come when a child is so dependent on online assistance; namely, they will lack mental agility, fluency and accuracy, and they probably won’t be using their brain to its full capacity. Everyday tasks as simple as checking they’ve received the right change, or working out ratios of ingredients when preparing meals, require mental calculations which a child reliant on technology could struggle with. A student who looks to spell-checker to ensure the accuracy of their work will struggle when completing it offline; they’ll be marked down for inaccuracy during handwritten exams, or perhaps they know an answer but their poor spelling lets them down because the examiner is unable to understand their intention. Looking to the future, strong mental arithmetic and literacy skills are important in whatever career a child chooses to pursue, and are still noticed and sought after by most employers. A child who has these abilities will feel more confident and at ease in the workplace. In addition to all of the above, reading and writing, and solving mathematical calculations exercises the brain and keeps it healthy. The brain is a muscle, and like the other muscles in the body, it needs to be exercised and stimulated regularly to stay healthy and keep functioning at its optimum. Dr Ryuta Kawashima is a professor at Tohoku University in Japan and he is a leader in the field of Brain Imaging in Japan. He has conducted numerous experiments and research to discover what activities activate and stimulate the brain and what activities don’t. One activity that Dr Kawashima discovered that is excellent for stimulating the brain is performing mathematical calculations regularly, even simple ones. He conducted research to find out which activity exercised the brain more: playing very complex video games, or solving mathematical calculations of adding one digit numbers to each other e.g. 1 + 2 + 5 + 3 + 6 etc. Although at the outset he was sure that the video games would activate the brain more, when he measured activity using MRI scans, he saw that video games actually stimulated the brain very little, but that the arithmetical calculations had the brain firing on all cylinders. This surprising finding urged Dr Kawashima into further research and he has shown that mathematical calculations stimulate the brain, help to lay down neural pathways and keep the brain from degenerating. Dr Kawashima has this to say, “The prefrontal cortex, the area for thinking and learning, of both hemispheres [of the brain] is active during simple calculation. Dealing with numbers is an important and sophisticated activity for human beings. … From primary school to college, simple calculation triggers brain activity. … Calculation is extremely helpful in training and developing your brain.” (p.34). Another activity that is vital for the brain is reading, especially reading out loud. Through his research, Dr Kawashima has found that when reading, many parts of both sides of the brain, as well as the prefrontal cortex (the most important place in the brain for thinking and learning) are activated. (p.26). Reading out loud activates the brain even more than reading silently. This can be a useful tip when it comes to studying. Reading work out loud can help a learner to remember it better. Mental agility skills do take time to develop and improve but through practice they will make all the difference! How can you encourage the development of these skills in your child? Turn everyday experiences into learning opportunities – when shopping, ask your child to work out how much your bill will cost before you get to the checkout, and have them look at the receipt afterwards to check it’s correct. Have a weekly spelling bee at home or a times tables challenge – competitions and rewards are good incentives to encourage children to learn and make learning fun. When reading with your child, ensure they are familiar with all the words on the page and get them to write and spell out new words. Encourage your child to write regularly as this offers opportunities to spell. Through this, you’ll be able to see spellings they struggle with, and employ tracing, mnemonics and/or other strategies to help them improve. At Kumon, we aim to foster independent learners through our maths and English programmes. Our students do not rely on calculators, dictionaries or coping strategies to advance through their study; instead they are encouraged to become self-learners who develop in academic ability and skill with each worksheet they complete. Through daily practice our students develop in understanding, fluency and pace, allowing them to advance to more complexed work. If you’re interested in enrolling your child to Kumon, visit our website www.kumon.co.za to find your nearest study centre and contact your local Instructor for more information. Sources for this article: https://www.kumon.co.uk/blog/do-children-still-need-strong-mental-agility-when-then-can-rely-on-technology/ Kawashima, R. 2003. Train Your Brain. Kumon Publishing Co, Ltd. Tokyo, Japan Kawashima, R. and Koizumi, H. ed. 2003. Learning Therapy. Tohoku University Press. Sendai, Japan
Eye-hand coordination, also known as hand-eye coordination, refers to the smooth, controlled and coordinated movements of the hand and eye together in order to reach a specific goal. While this may appear to be a fairly simple process to an observer, it is in fact an immensely complicated process that is dependent on your eyes ability to see, your brains ability to process, interpret and understand what is being seen by the eye and then based on that information plan and execute a smooth, coordinated, appropriate motor response. In the case of eye-hand coordination, the motor response relates to the use of the hands in order to achieve a particular objective. Fine motor control refers to the ability of small groups of muscles found in the hands, fingers and eyes working together in a coordinated manner. Good fine motor skills develop from good gross motor skills in children. This means that providing a young child with opportunities to move the large muscle groups in their bodies through engaging in activities such as climbing, jumping, running and crawling develops body awareness. This in turn enables the child to better understand where their bodies are in relation to their environment and other objects. This understanding of their bodies in terms of large movements will then also translate in to an understanding of their bodies in terms of small movements or fine motor skills should the child be provided with sufficient gross motor input. Kelly Westerman, Clamber Club franchisee and Occupational Therapist says, “It is very important to understand that our child’s eye-hand coordination is intimately linked to their fine motor control and both the importance of the eyes and the hands must be understood and acknowledged as being key role players in eye-hand coordination.” The role of the eyes is to see, follow moving objects, focus near and far, judge distances, observe details of objects and importantly, navigate the movement of the hands. The role of the hands is to feel textures, shapes, temperatures and weight. The hand will hold and manipulate objects, push and pull, catch and throw, clap, rub, grip, squeeze and point. All of which might be meaningless without the guidance of the eyes; thereby creating the eye-hand coordination. “If we consider how many of the things we do on a daily basis require the use of our eyes and hands, we realise how important it is that this process works effectively and efficiently,” adds Westerman. Fine motor skills and eye-hand coordination begin to develop from the time a child is born. An infant tracking a moving object with their eyes and then attempting to swipe at it, reaching for objects and moving those objects to their mouths as well as grasping and releasing objects are all the early activities that develop these skills. As the child gets older good eye-hand coordination and fine motor skills contributes to a child’s ability to learn essential self-care skills such as dressing and undressing, brushing their teeth and feeding themselves. In the school-going child, proficiency in these skills results in improved classroom performance as these skills are involved with a learner’s ability to write, cut, copy work from a board and read. “In light of the importance of eye-hand coordination, parents should ensure that they create opportunities for their children to learn and master these skills form as early as possible,” comments Occupational Therapist and founder of Clamber Club, Liz Senior. “We aim to provide children with comprehensive eye-hand coordination experiences in our classes, using equipment that is beneficial, and at the same time fun, while promoting the skills required to get their hands, fingers and eyes working together in a coordinated manner.” Clamber Club has put together these top activities and games that can help your baby develop their eye-hand coordination: Encourage your baby to follow moving objects or person with their eyes Provide opportunities for your little one to reach and grasp at objects Give your baby a variety of objects to hold so that they can practice difference grips and grasps. Watch as your little one transfers objects from one hand to another. This is a very important skill that they learn, so parents should watch out for it! Your baby will also play with their hands. This is a wonderful way for them to learn more about their hands, so make sure that there are times when their hands are free of objects and they can explore with their hands at their midlines Do not discourage your little one from bringing objects to their mouths; this is an important skill and by mouthing objects your little one learns about certain features of that object Provide opportunities for your little one to explore objects with their eyes. This can be done through suspending objects from frames that your baby lies under
Knowing how to speak more than one language is a wonderful gift – particularly when living in such a diverse country like South Africa! But how should you go about doing this? Well here are some tips on raising a bilingual child from Clamber Club Expert and Speech and Language Therapist, Savannah Senior: Start early. Children can pick up and absorb languages astonishingly fast. Before the ages of 3-4 years old is the best time to teach your child a new language. The earlier, the better!! Research shows that if we are not exposed to certain sounds early on, it becomes much harder to hear and pronounce them. Don’t mix languages i.e. use only one language at a time. Languages all have their own special characteristics – their own grammar, sounds, pronunciations and structure. When we mix languages, we mix all these characteristics and it will make it more difficult for your child to distinguish between them and learn them. Natural environments are best. You don’t need to use classroom-style teaching to learn a new language. The best way to teach your child a second, third or even fourth language is to use it in your everyday activities and play. Research has shown that children pick up languages faster in this way. Fluency is key. Your child will only really master a language when they are exposed to someone who speaks fluently, on a regular basis. Sometimes they will mess up! It is expected to sometimes confuse vocabulary or word order when learning multiple languages. Remember to not make this into a deal and to remind them it is okay to make mistakes. You can also repeat the phrase or sentence back to your child so they learn the correct vocabulary and word order. So, let’s get chatting! Bye bye; Totsiens; Uhambe Kahle; Sala hantle; Famba Kahle; Au Revoir; Auf Wiedersehen; Tchau Tchau; Ciao Ciao………
Most parents agree that they want their children to reach their full potential – whatever that may be. They won’t enjoy and celebrate a child any less if it turns out that his fullest potential doesn’t involve straight A’s and being hugely successful in the sports arena. In fact, most of us will be more than pleased to see our little ones grow up to be truly happy and successful in their own unique way. As long as they live their best life – everything else is a bonus. However, ask any adult about their happiness level and whether they think they are living meaningful lives and you will soon realise that “living your best life” is not as easy as it sounds. It’s so difficult, in fact, that any practical advice to parents about things that can be done during the early years to increase a child’s chances to be happy and content as an adult one day is extremely valuable. In this post we’ll be looking at what research teaches us about cultivating social skills in our children. It is, after all, impossible for a person to be happy and successful without being able to get along with people. Here are five things that parents can do to help lay a solid foundation with regards to social skills. 1. Talk about thoughts and emotions. Studies show that children, whose parents often talk about what they and their children are thinking and feeling, are more popular, more comfortable in social situations and better able to cope with anger and disappointment. [1] 2. Deliberately work on having a sunny outlook on life. Children with the most developed preschool social skills are the ones who experience more positive emotions at home. It’s not necessary or even realistic to be constantly happy, but practice a “can-do” attitude towards setbacks and frustrations. Researchers say children suffer when parents – and particularly mothers – tend to give in to anger or despair when things don’t go according to plan. The more often children see their mothers display negative emotions, the less likely they are to view their mothers as people who can comfort them and give them advice. [2] 3. Create special opportunities for “pretend play” and join in the action every now and then. One of the most important ways in which children develop friendships during the pre-school years is by playing pretend games together. Researchers have found that children who pretend together are less likely than other children to quarrel or have communication problems. They also develop self-control and the ability to “put themselves in somebody else’s shoes”. [3] Parents who play along from time to time are doing their children a huge favour. Children are found to play for longer and at a higher level when parents encourage them. But, remember to keep the experience upbeat and don’t take over; allow your little one to take the lead. 4. Use words wisely when you discipline your child. Peggy O’Mara said, “The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice”. What’s more, research shows that children, whose parents take the time to explain rules and discuss consequences of bad behaviour, are popular amongst their peers and they have more self-control and less conflict with peers. [4] 5. Be sensitive to your child’s emotions. One study, done by Suzanne Denham in 1997, asked children to say what they think their parents would do when they experience strong emotions in various situations, for instance when they wake up from a bad dream. The very same children who reported that their parents would comfort them and not ignore their emotions or get angry were the ones who were pointed out by teachers to be more socially skilled when they are with their friends. These children were also better able to relate to other children’s feelings and they were generally more cooperative. [5] What much of the research boils down to is that positive parental involvement is very important to their children’s social development. What’s more, discussing thoughts and emotions, whether positive or negative, helps our children to understand their own thinking and feelings, and therefore other people’s, so much better. This article is written by: The Practica Programme is a comprehensive research- and play-based home programme. This unique system has stood the test of time since 1993, and it comprises of a wooden box with specialized apparatus, parents’ guides, an advisory service and educational newsletters. From birth to 23 months of age, parents choose from a balanced selection of more than 1000 activities to develop the 14 fundamental skills age-appropriately. For children between 2 and 7 years, the 50 school readiness skills are divided into 6 groups and tackled systematically, year by year, with 10- to 20-minute games that can be adapted to a child’s level of functioning. References: Tompkins, V., Benigno, J.P., Lee, B.K., Wright, B.M. (2018). The relation between parents’ mental state talk and children’s social understanding: A meta-analysis. Social Development, 27(2), 223-246. Valiente, C., Fabes, R. A., Eisenberg, N., & Spinrad, T. L. (2004). The relations of parental expressivity and support to children’s coping with daily stress. Journal of Family Psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43), 18(1), 97–106. Goldstein, T. R., & Lerner, M. D. (2018). Dramatic pretend play games uniquely improve emotional control in young children. Developmental science, 21(4). Moreno-Ruiz, D., Estévez, E., Jiménez, T. I., & Murgui, S. (2018). Parenting Style and Reactive and Proactive Adolescent Violence: Evidence from Spain. International journal of environmental research and public health, 15(12), 2634. Denham, S. (2010). “When I have a bad dream, Mommy holds me.” Preschoolers’ conceptions of emotions, parental socialisation, and emotional competence. International Journal of Behavioral Development, Feb. 301-319.
Hiring a nanny is a big deal with many factors to consider. A key decision is whether to hire a nanny through an agency or on your own. Not hiring an agency means you’ll have to do all the legwork yourself which can be time-consuming and difficult, especially if you don’t know where to start. Using an agency can be a great way to find a nanny who meets your specific needs. The process of hiring a nanny through an agency can be a little bit daunting; However it’s worth it to have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you’re hiring a qualified and experienced nanny who has been vetted by an experienced agency. Agencies can also provide support after the nanny is hired, such as addressing any concerns or replacing the nanny if things go wrong. Common Nanny Types Live-in nannies live with the family they work for full time. They are typically available 24/7 and can provide a high level of care for children. Live-out nannies do not live with the family they work for full time. They work a set number of hours per week and are not available overnight. Part-time nannies provide their services occasionally. Night nannies only work overnight to care for children. They can help with night feedings or diaper changes. Special skills nannies have skills or qualifications such as CPR training, first aid training, or experience with children with special needs Choosing the Right Nanny When choosing a nanny, it is important to consider your family’s needs and preferences such as: The age of your children. You may need a nanny with experience caring for infants or toddlers. Your family’s schedule. You may need a nanny who is available to work long hours or who can work nights or weekends. Your budget. The cost of nannies can vary depending on their experience, qualifications, and the number of hours they work. Your family’s values. You may want to choose a nanny who shares your religious beliefs. Interviews The aim of an interview is to ensure that the candidate is a good fit for your family. Interviews can take place telephonically, face-face or as a trial day. Be sure to ask questions about their experience, qualifications, childcare philosophy and availability. Using the Find Your Nanny Agency FindYourNanny is a South African agency that has helped over 3000 families find their dream nannies. The FindYourNanny hiring process is simple and straightforward: Go to www.findyournanny.co.za and select a nanny type and placement package to suit your needs. Complete the online registration form and pay the once off registration fees. FindYourNanny will send you candidate profiles including experience and references. Select candidates to interview. Make an offer to the nanny you want to hire. Pay the placement fee for your chosen package. Onboard your nanny and provide them with information about your family, your expectations, and your house rules. You can contact FindYourNanny on hello@findyournanny.co.za.
Giving birth to your firstborn child sees you worrying about how and what to do right as you find your feet and transition into first-time parent mode. Welcoming your second child into your new family, you will be backed by prior experience to support you in your new role as family ‘multi-tasker’ as you embrace managing the love, care, feeding, soothing, and sleeping of 2 under 2! Welcoming in a second child will be different for every family. Each child is born distinctive from their sibling and your role as mother or father becomes a balancing act which may take time to adjust to. What is true for all second-time parents is that with increased time pressures, there are higher stress levels mothering two children who need round the clock care. Now, instead of taking naps alongside your newborn you will be spending precious time with your toddler. Happily, in the changing world around us, traditional gender roles are evolving as Dads help more around the home and do a lot to ease motherhood for mum’s post the birthing process. Partners may bring their boardroom logic into crises managing a moment with quick thinking and the most direct solution when your toddler and baby are both demanding – at full volume – to be fed! Parenting routines and caring for your kids may come first, and taking time for things other than motherhood at this challenging stage can seem unrealistic but like a diamond is pressured into pure sparkling beauty, it is also an opportunity for you as new mums and dads to set routines, prep meals, and delegate responsibilities with the right tools on hand so you can still carve out space in the day to connect with your partner or spouse, take a restorative five minute walk around the block, or journal in your diary. Philips Avent South Africa share some life tips and home hacks to grounding your new family in a harmonious home routine and setting the perfect scene for both your tiny tykes to grow and thrive: #1 Home Coming & Family introductions: Even kids as young as 18 months to 2 years can feel that things are changing. Prepare your firstborn child for your new arrival into the family only when the time is right and you feel ready to do so. Introduce the idea to your toddler that baby will be someone new to love, and that having a sibling is a privilege and a gift and they can be excited having a new role as an older sibling. Don’t oversell the idea however as you may set them up for rivalry. #2 Home Help Routine: Once your newborn has been introduced home, set up your new routines as soon as possible, by aligning feeding and nap times as much as possible to avoid double duty during the day. Second time Mum Sandy (33) claims her superpowers of adaptation saw her master the art of breastfeeding her newborn and spoon feeding her toddler at the same time. She suggests that for whichever task you avoid or dislike the most, this is the area to adapt and master. “I felt challenged by breastfeeding as I had sore, cracked nipples making it painful, and uncomfortable to feed either of my sons so much so that I would dread feeding times! “I was ecstatic when I discovered Philips Avent nipple shields, they protected my scabbed, sensitive nipples so they could recover and I could breastfeed again. Nipple shields made all the difference, thank goodness.” Breastfeeding your newborn should be your priority, with proper latching and full feeds at correct times. For working mums, you newborn and toddler can still benefit from breastmilk when you master the art of breastmilk pumping to ensure you have milk stored in milk storage bags in the freezer. These can be defrosted for feeds for your newborn by Dad or other caregivers or used for meal top ups of breastmilk for your firstborn toddler. Having the right tools to soothe and protect your breasts and efficiently pump your breastmilk makes it easier to stay comfortable and continue breastfeeding until the minimum 24-month breastfeeding period has been reached. #3 Planning & Prepping Meals In the new era of breast pumping, both the Philips Avent manual and electric breast pumps are quiet, and you can stay positioned upright allowing you to continue pumping and feeding, providing the necessary elixir of breastmilk that your children require during the day. Small and inconspicuous, both the Philips Avent manual breast pump and the Philips Avent electric breast pump will easily fits into your bag when you are on the go. The Philips Avent Natural baby bottle is designed for mums who want to combine breast and bottle feeding, with its soft, breast-shaped teat which encourages a natural latch and mimics the feel of a breast, making the switch between breast and bottle as smooth as possible for you and your baby and other parents and caregivers to step in for supported feeds. The spiral design of the teat and petals ensure it naturally flexes and doesn’t collapse when your little one is feeding, so your baby can enjoy an uninterrupted feed. More importantly the anti-colic valve in the Philips Avent Natural baby bottle is designed to reduce colic and discomfort by venting air into the bottle and away from your baby’s tummy for 60% less fussing at night. Generally, after the first month, babies gain an average of 500g to 1 kilogram per month within the first six months. Breast milk is the ideal first food, but beyond this stage, both milk and solid foods are needed to help your baby grow and continue to gain around 2 kilograms per month. Many babies are happy to wait until around six months to begin weaning and at this age can learn the skills needed for eating solid food very quickly especially if there is an older brother or sister to mimic at feeding times. However, babies
As a parent, you already know the importance of child drowning prevention and how quickly accidents can happen. What you perhaps didn’t know is that in South Africa, pool safety will become a regulatory issue, governed by the SABS through its building Standards. According to the Safety Standard (SANS 10134), pool safety will need to be provided on all properties. The most effective way to address this is with a solid safety cover. But not all safety covers are made equal and it is important to understand the criteria when choosing a safety cover. These are the questions to ask and the critical factors to get right if your safety cover is to perform as it should and keep unsupervised children (and pets) safe. After rain, does the water drain off within 15 minutes, leaving no water pooled on top of the cover? A compliant safety cover must have drainage holes. Could an object measuring 114mm fit under the edge of the cover? This represents the size of a small child’s head. Is the cover’s weight tolerance 220kg or more? Can two adults and a child walk on it without harm to themselves or damage to the cover? Are the batons supporting the cover manufactured for solid safety pool covers and able to carry the intended weight? Similarly, are the ratchets of adequate quality? Are the supplier and the installer accredited by SANS 10134? Does the supplier provide official certification with the safety cover? The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is the leading child safety cover and complies with all the abovementioned requirements. Solid Safety Covers were first designed and introduced to the South African market by PowerPlastics Pool Covers. Many have tried to copy it but don’t always get the quality right. Cutting corners by using cheap components could result in a pool cover that is as unsafe as an uncovered pool if not even more dangerous, imagine being trapped under a defective cover! A Solid Safety Cover is a specialist product, and requires specialist design and installation methods. Go with the original and best in quality cover from PowerPlastics Pool Covers. You will be glad you went the extra mile when your quality safety cover stops a child or pet drowning in your own home. Learn more at www.powerplastics.co.za
From physical development to social and emotional growth, Affinity Health, a leading provider of high-quality healthcare, says there are many reasons why playtime matters in the early years of life. Whether building towering block castles or teaming up with friends to save the world, playtime ignites the imagination, inspires learning, and unlocks the boundless potential of children, developing the skills and abilities they need to succeed in life. Affinity Health takes a closer look at how playtime can benefit young children, providing parents with tips and guidance on how to facilitate age-appropriate playtime that supports their child’s growth and development. Playtime Enhances Physical Development Playtime is essential to physical development in young children. It allows them to develop fine and gross motor skills, coordination, balance, and spatial awareness. Playtime can involve simple movements for babies, such as reaching for toys and rolling over, and more complex activities as children grow, involving running, jumping, climbing, and other physical activities. Playtime Stimulates Social and Emotional Growth Playtime is also essential for social and emotional growth in young children. It allows them to interact with others and learn social skills such as sharing, taking turns, and cooperating. Through play, children can learn about their emotions, develop coping mechanisms to deal with them, develop their creativity and imagination, and explore their world in a safe and supportive environment. Playtime Promotes Cognitive Development Playtime is crucial for cognitive development in young children. It allows them to develop their language, communication, and problem-solving skills. Through play, children can learn about cause and effect, develop memory and concentration, and practice decision-making and critical thinking. Playtime also allows children to explore their interests and develop their passions, laying the groundwork for lifelong learning. 6 Tips for Parents Parents can play a crucial role in facilitating playtime for their children. Here are some tips for parents to remember: Provide a safe and supportive environment for play, with plenty of space and various toys and materials to explore. Offer structured and unstructured play opportunities, allowing children to develop their creativity and imagination while learning necessary social and cognitive skills. Encourage playtime with peers, providing opportunities for children to learn and practice social skills such as cooperation and communication. Get involved in playtime with your child, offering support and encouragement while allowing them to explore and learn independently. Encourage age-appropriate play, with challenging yet manageable activities for your child’s developmental stage. Use playtime to teach your child essential life skills, such as problem-solving, decision-making, and conflict resolution. Games for Children to Play to Enhance Your Child’s Development Here are some games and activities parents can encourage children to play, listed by age group: Babies (infant to one year) Tummy time: Place your baby on their stomach and encourage them to lift their head and look around. Peek-a-boo: Cover and uncover your baby’s face with a blanket or cloth. Singing and music: Sing songs and play music for your baby. Toddlers (one to three years) Building blocks: Encourage your child to build towers and structures with blocks. Pretend play: Provide dress-up clothes and props for your child to use in pretend play. Sorting games: Encourage your child to sort objects by size, colour, or shape. Primary school (three to six years) Board games: Play simple board games with your child to develop critical thinking and decision-making skills. Art and craft activities: Provide materials for your child to draw, paint, and create. Outdoor play: Urge your child to explore the outdoors and engage in physical activities such as running, jumping, and climbing. Primary school (six to 12 years) Team sports: Encourage your child to participate in team sports such as football, basketball, or soccer to develop social skills and physical abilities. Strategy games: Play games like chess with your child to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Volunteering: Inspire your child to participate in community service or volunteer activities to develop empathy and compassion. About Affinity Health Affinity Health is South Africa’s leading health insurance provider, offering you a range of options at affordable rates, including access to the widest national provider network. We understand the importance of medical insurance that meets your needs, budget, and lifestyle. Our range of healthcare products are designed to protect you and your family when it matters the most. We strive to always give our clients peace of mind and the highest standard of service. For more information, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Play is about so much more than simply passing the time or keeping the kids busy. For kids, it’s a crucial part of childhood development that helps them pick up important new skills while improving their gross and fine motor skills, showing them how to play well with others and, of course, giving them a chance to spend quality time with mum and dad, while building stronger ties as a family.
In my work with parents and teachers on solving behavior challenges with children, I help them identify the problem, possible causes of the behavior, and then possible solutions for eliminating it. My goal is to send the adults away with a few simple step-by-step techniques they can implement immediately to bring about quick change at home or in the classroom. Here are four key questions to ask yourself to help you identify a current behavior issue and some common sense solutions to solve them. QUESTION # 1: Why can’t the behavior occur? Adults react unnecessarily when children behave in ways that annoy or embarrass the adult, or add more chaos to their already stressed state of mind. Adults also react in this manner in response to feelings of fear that the child may fall down or get hurt in some fashion. Stop before you react unnecessarily and ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen if I don’t react?,” or “Why can’t my child do what she’s doing at the moment?” Let go of the urge to control everything and everybody. Avoid arranging the outcomes of everyone’s behavior. QUESTION # 2: How would the child know not to behave this way? Children see the world from a different perspective than adults, and adults unfairly assume or expect children to see it from theirs. Carefully examine the models that your children have around them to learn from and be sure to set good examples that teach what you want them to learn. Encouraging a child to read frequently, for example, works best when they see the adult reading, too. Create agreements ahead of time and set up rules before activities begin, not in the middle of them. Yes, this will require you as a caregiver to think ahead and predict behavior situations that could be challenging. QUESTION # 3: What unmet needs might the child be demonstrating? In many instances, both children and adults demonstrate surprising behaviors as a way of getting unmet needs satisfied. The little boy constantly drawing may be exhibiting his need to draw and create. Creating appropriate opportunities for him to draw and color may be all that is necessary to eliminate the problem. Giving a bossy child the opportunity to lead family activities may satisfy his need to be in charge. And relaxing over a tween or teen’s experiments with her appearance that doesn’t endanger her will satisfy her need to explore her own identity in a healthy way. Have you ever behaved in curious ways to satisfy any unmet needs of your own? QUESTION # 4: Is there a purpose to this behavior for the child? Both children and adults find ways to act out to create more purpose in their life. The little boy picking the fights with his brother discovered that it brought his busy grandmother into the room in hopes of her taking his side. The little girl who had once again become a baby was most likely responding to the jealousy she may have felt of having to share her parents with her new sibling. And my own son found a new way to annoy others by experimenting with sounds he could make with his voice. Before you get angry and behave badly as a caregiver, step back for one moment, take a deep breath, and ask yourself these four questions. Perhaps the answers they offer may allow you to see the behavior differently and provide you with an opportunity to choose an alternate response that will get you more effective results. Behavior is usually a result of what has been learned through imitation or getting unmet needs or purpose satisfied. Avoid the urge to react and think of ways you can be proactive instead to avoid or eliminate challenging behaviors.
Parental responsibility is the responsibility to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian of the child, and to contribute to the maintenance of the child. The Children’s Act further sets out that a person may have full or specific parental responsibilities and rights. Full parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may be entitled to all the rights set out in the Act. Specific parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may only have a specific right in terms of the Act; for example, the right to act only as guardian of the child.
Do your kids whine and moan about having to help you around the house or yard? Does it seem like pulling teeth to get them to do the smallest of tasks? And if you do assign them some household chore, do they avoid doing it until you are yelling and doling out punishments? If you’re finding yourself in this situation way too often, let me offer some advice. When you think back to your own childhood, you probably hated the thought of having to do your chores too. Why? Because many parents ruled with the “iron hand” of autocracy to ensure that you did what you were told. Most parents today have replaced that unhealthy approach to parenting with more democratic means for raising their children. The bottom line is that when you remove fear from rearing children, you leave room for opinions, feelings, and resistance; all things that get in the way of efficiency. So how do you get kids to do their chores? If you’re using more respectful and democratic parenting methods at home like I am, then the secret is to extend that style of parenting to chores. This means setting things up in advance, incorporating their opinions and ideas, and establishing verbal and written agreements. It also means using respect to get them to follow through when they fall short. As part of your next weekly or bimonthly family meeting, establish the list of chores the grownups will do and ask everyone to help construct a list of all the other chores that need to be done. Listen to your children’s and teen’s ideas on how and when these chores will get done. Draft a schedule that everyone agrees to and consider getting everyone to sign it. If any of your children are extremely resistant and uncooperative, postpone the discussion until the next meeting. Chore assignments will be more effective when you have a unanimous agreement by all family members. It’s also equally important that all chores have an assigned date, time, and schedule for completion. There should be no question as to when it should be done and what the finished job looks like. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of using very specific parameters when getting kids to complete tasks. And most importantly, you do not have an agreement with a child until they utter the words of the entire agreement! Whenever you notice that someone did not complete an assigned and agreed upon chore, commit to NOT coaxing, reminding, or scolding. In fact, do not speak at all! Simply find that child in question and placing your hand on his or her back, gently and lovingly guide them to the location of the chore that wasn’t completed. If they resist and fight your guidance, then something in your relationship with that child needs to be addressed before this follow-up method will work. Finally, I’m often asked at what age a child is old enough to help with chores. My suggestion is that children as young as preschoolers can do some chores, but of course, the task assigned to them must be age and ability appropriate. Getting children this young to cooperate with chores and tasks requires that the assignments be few, simple, easy to do, and implemented with lots of fun, excitement, and praise when successfully completed.
The relationship between siblings is very special, no matter what the age. A good, trusting relationship does not just automatically happen. As a parent, opportunities for developing this kind of relationship need to be given so that it can be built from a very young age. When a child is told that a little brother or sister is on the way there is much excitement! But after the baby is born things aren’t quite as they imagined. Their little brother or sister cries a lot and takes a lot of mom and dad’s attention. It’s hard for toddlers to play and share when they don’t know how to socialize. This is the important time when the parents step in and they can practically help build and foster a relationship of trust between the siblings which will hopefully continue until they are adults. Trust has a major part to play in a sibling relationship. The meaning of the word trust is “a firm belief in the honesty, truthfulness, justice, or power of a person or thing” (Barnhart, 1987). When siblings have a sense of trust in their relationship, it provides a good foundation for a meaningful relationship. If a good relationship is in place when they are young this helps as they grow older and face challenges in life. They know that they are there for each other. Erik Erikson was an American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst who had a theory about the psychosocial development of people. He is well known in the area of child development and he has some valid points when looking at the importance of relationships between people. In his theory he focuses on 4 stages of psychosocial development in children. The first two are applicable to young children. Stage one is called Trust verses Mistrust and this occurs from birth to about 1 year. A child needs to feel a sense of belonging and warmth from his family. He needs to feel that he can trust his family to provide for his needs. We can take this further and also apply it to a relationship with a sibling. A trusting relationship between siblings is there so that they feel they can rely on someone and relate to someone besides their parents. If there is mistrust between the child and the family at this young age he will develop a sense that no one can be trusted and that the world is an intimidating place. The second stage is Autonomy verses Shame and Doubt. This occurs in the ages 2-3 years of age. During this stage of the child becoming more independent the older sibling has a vital role to play. He will learn a lot from the older sibling and will model what he sees. The older sibling can encourage the younger one as he grows and learns. Having a trusting relationship between the sibling’s means that the younger sibling can trust the older sibling and feel comfortable to learn from them. If a younger sibling is battling with something and no one intervenes, they can feel a sense of failure and doubt themselves. Tips to build a trusting relationship between siblings: Friendship: Siblings should be encouraged to be friends. Encourage them to play together and spend time together. Find games and activities that they both enjoy and encourage them to take turns to choose what game to play. Individuality: Help your children to realize that they are unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses. Siblings will argue and compete to see who is better! Parents need to intervene and help them see that there are advantages to having a sibling who has different strengths from their own. They can help with their problem areas. Provide opportunities to talk about their differences and unique traits. Helping each other: Giving opportunities to help each other, instead of the parents always intervening, also helps develop trust in their relationship. They learn to rely on each other and ask for help when needed. They also realize that their sibling is always there for them. Sorting out conflict: Conflict and arguments are bound to happen. Siblings need to realize that it’s ok to get cross with each other but the situation needs to be dealt with then and there. Working through the emotions and the cause of the problem, with the parent’s guidance, not only helps the sibling’s problem solve but also helps them to realize the importance of solving conflict. Even with conflict it is important to emphasize the fact that they still love each other and can trust each other. When helping them to solve conflict they also learn to understand each other more and it creates a sense of empathy. Saying ‘I love you’: These are very powerful words and it means a lot to vocalize this from a very young age. Siblings should be encouraged to say ‘I love you’ regularly to create a deeper relationship. Teaching young children to get on and have a good relationship can be challenging, but it is very important for them to realize that friends come and go but siblings are forever. Written By: Lauren Reddell (Gr 000 teacher at Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Little Falls)
Parents generally see their children as wonderful gifts from the heavens but children don’t always see each other in that same light. They first see their primary caregivers, and the love and attention they get from them, as a limited commodity. They then see their siblings as competition for that love and attention and sometimes feel they have to fight for it. When a new child enters the family, the oldest or older children sometimes feel as if they have been dethroned and now have to share their parents with this new child. This can bring about feelings of animosity and jealousy between children. To deal with this problem effectively, parents can find ways that will allow the older child to become a teacher or leader to the younger child(ren). You can also give the older child special privileges and give them special time with you, such as one-on-one dates to help them feel like they haven’t lost their place in the family. Fighting and other forms of sibling rivalry also occur as a result of these feelings. Avoid racing into every little argument or disagreement. If you do, it will teach your children to create problems just to get you involved. It will also train them that they are NOT accountable for stopping fights and working things out, it teaches them instead that YOU are responsible for doing that. Because you ARE responsible for keeping everyone safe, sometimes the only solution is to just separate them. This is especially true for when toddlers and preschoolers hit one another or begin to fight. It just means they’ve had enough of that other person for a while and they want them out of their space. Avoid using punishments like time out and avoid taking sides. When a conflict breaks out, just separate both of them. It doesn’t matter who started it or who did what, just separate them in different spaces to be apart. And during this moment of behavior management, remain calm and talk very little. You can easily transfer your own negative feelings into the relationship between the children. Sometimes the conflict between the children is actually an imitation of what’s going on with the adults.
I received the following question in an email from a parent: “Our son is three years old and for the past three months he has not been sleeping well. Depending on the night, it can take numerous attempts to get him to go to sleep and then when he does, he wakes up every 3 hours or so and it can take a while for him to go back to sleep. He never had any issues with sleep prior to this. His father and I are married and have a great loving relationship and nothing has changed in our family at all over the past year. What thoughts do you have for us in dealing with his sleep issues?” Here is my reply to this parent: Children go through different phases throughout their childhood and sometimes their behavior doesn’t make sense to us. They could see something scary quickly, hear adults talking about something alarming or a friend at school might tell them something that bothers them. The most important thing for you to do is to remain calm around this issue. When children see their parents acting calm and not appearing anxious, it can actually help them calm down as well. Here are a few things you can do right away. DO SOMETHING AS A FAMILY IN THE HOUR OR TWO BEFORE HIS BEDTIME. I know it can be difficult for working parents, but make time for it anyway. Spend time together reading a book, playing a quiet game, or talking. This loving activity will help him to feel loved and know that his family is OK. IDENTIFY THE PRIMARY ACTIVITIES AT BEDTIME AND SEE THAT THEY HAPPEN. With him, create a visual list of what he needs to do: potty, get PJs on, a story, teeth brushing, and a drink of water. Creating a visual list will help create sameness and routine. Children with more sameness and routine in their lives feel more comforted and calm. I love the product called SCHKIDULES (http://www.schkidules.com) because they allow parents to create visual routines for little and big children. GUIDE HIM BACK SILENTLY EACH TIME HE GETS OUT OF BED. Tell him in advance that starting tonight, after he gets tucked into bed, one parent will guide him back to his bed and they will not be able to speak to him. Role play this. Make believe to tuck him into bed and then when he gets out, calmly and lovingly (without speaking) guide him back to his bed and leave the room immediately. Remember, no talking to the child when he gets out of bed after being officially tucked in. But be sure and smile and lovingly return him to his bed immediately and then leave his room. Do this whether he wakes while you’re up or after you go to sleep. Your job is to create sameness, routine and to draw boundaries and follow through.
When I deliver a live parent lecture, I sometimes ask my audience to raise their hand if their parents used punishment when they misbehaved. Most hands go up, revealing that punishment was a common parenting tool back in the day. Since that time, society has determined that punitive treatment of our children is no longer acceptable. Researchers have also determined that children who are punished are more likely to have low self-esteem and experience depression or even suicidal thoughts as adults. Many of today’s parents also understand how important the experience during the early years of childhood contribute to the success of their children in their adult years. This includes how happy they are, how well they seek out healthy living habits, and how well they are able to select other healthy adults into their lives. So if you want to set your child up for success, here are just a few suggestions on how to handle challenging behaviors with your children. This does not serve as a complete list, but simply a few suggestions to get you started. FIND A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR NEEDS MET. Sometimes a parent is on a mission to accomplish some task and his children are making it difficult by demonstrating uncooperative behavior. Ask yourself, “What fun can I add to this moment that will provide some cooperation. One day I was bound and determined to get the leaves raked up in the yard and my kids did not want to help. Instead of getting angry, yelling and punishing them, I issued a challenge to my three kids: WHOEVER COULD RAKE UP THE LARGES PILE OF LEAVES WOULD GET THROWN INTO IT. The kids immediately ran out into the yard to begin raking. My goal was accomplished GIVE YOUR CHILD A SENSE OF VALUE. A woman shared with me that her son would act out and misbehave whenever she was busy in the kitchen preparing for a big meal for a family gathering. Perhaps the boy felt as if he was competing with the kitchen activities for his mom’s attention. I told her to make a list of all the guests who will be coming to dinner, and have the boy create a drawing on a large 8.5″ x 17″ piece of paper, specifically for each of those individuals. Those drawing will be the placemats placed at each place setting. After the dinner is completed and the dishes are cleared, the little boy gets to explain what each drawing means to the person he drew it for. GIVE YOUR CHILD A CHOICE. Demanding a child to do something immediately doesn’t work in this modern age. It did back when we were young because it was a different time with a different style of parenting. Most of us were raised by autocratic parents who issued demands regularly and we were expected to comply. So instead of issuing commands to your child, give them a choice related to completing the task. Instead of saying, “Go brush your teeth!”, say, “Would you like me to brush your teeth or would you like to do it yourself?”
Sure, you might think this, but the reality is, if they’re watching YouTube, playing games on your phone or streaming TV – they are online. Would you rather your child learns how to navigate this world from their peers or through trial and error? Studies have shown that teenage suicide has increased with the growth of cyberbullying. Cybercriminals do not discriminate on age; they attack anyone who is online and unprotected. Unexpected purchases happen from more pop-ups and ads that interrupt games than ever before. We live in a digital world; your child was born to a screen and the loving arms of mom and dad. Screens are a part of our lives, there is no getting away from it. Social Kids was founded out of a concern for what children are being exposed to at a young age with little to no control. The purpose of the course is to equip children with the skills to STOP. Think. Before they click. The content has been developed to be fun, engaging and memorable, along with an amazing team of professionals and many hours of research coupled with 20 years of digital marketing experience, this program was created to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is a series of pre-recorded videos to be watched over 5 weeks. There are five 20-minute videos. Each adventure tackles essential topics like how to be SMART online, deal with cyberbullies, spot fake new and having good manners online. Codey Crawler with his BFF Miss Nadie, a professional teacher guides the conversation to show children how they can approach these topics and keep talking to their loved ones. After each adventure, children must complete activities to earn digital badges. Once these adventures have been completed, children will receive a Global Surfer button and a certificate of achievement. Giving you the confidence that your child can face any situation that may find them, either now or later in life. Join Codey Crawler as he helps to guide our children through the digital world they play and learn in. Codey will give children aged 7 to 11 years old the confidence and guidance to surf the net, know their rights and handle uncomfortable situations before their tweens. Register today and save!
Mom is strolling around the supermarket with a six-month-old infant in the baby seat. Not once does she engage in eye contact, talk to the child or even smile. When the baby becomes restive, a dummy is thrust in his mouth without a word spoken. Contrast this with a dad in a fruit and veg store, with an infant of similar age. At every display he picks up a fruit, lets the baby touch and smell it and talks about the name of it, the colour and how good it tastes. Not hard to know which of these babies will develop a good language as he grows. Babies develop language through constant face to face engagement with a trusted care giver. These days many infants are left in the hands of untrained nannies who are too busy listening to music on their earphones or talking on their cell. The foundations of language are laid in utero and beyond. Two-year old’s who have been deprived of stimulating language are already developmentally behind their peers and the gap grows, requiring expensive therapeutic intervention before formal school entry. Adding to this language gap, we now place the child into a school where the language of learning is different and expect that the new language will be acquired rapidly-because that’s what we pay fees for! What is not understood is that a second language is based on the first. Almost like making a photocopy. If the original is poor, the copy will be too. Home language is important, but make it rich by talking, singing and reading to the baby/toddler. TV and tablets do not teach language, it is a reciprocal process. If someone in the home is fluent in the proposed language of learning, they should be doing all the above in that language, from day one. Babies are pre-programmed to learn as many as 4 languages simultaneously, AS LONG AS EACH LANGUAGE IS SPOKEN BY THE SAME PERSON. Granny can speak Sotho, Mum isiZulu and Dad English, but they must stick to their language until the child is at least 3. Don’t mix languages, this just results in language soup! Besides talking, singing and playing with the child, using a rich vocabulary, you should be reading to the baby from a very early age. Initially use board books with clear pictures that relate directly to the child’s home environment. Talk about the pictures, relate them to real objects if possible and let the baby touch them when you name them. Expand the range of books as the baby grows and by two, join the local library. A weekly visit in search of a new book will become a highlight. You will of course have taught the child how to handle books respectfully! Yes, you can use a tablet, but these are too heavy for young babies to handle and hold. Books in many of our official languages are scares, but you can translate! But what if my child is only speaking one language when he enters school? In this situation, parents will have to work hard to support the school. Here, a tablet can be useful as you can find good apps for simple songs that will help your child acquire the rhythm of the new language. Find books that have a picture with details of familiar rooms at home, animals, toys etc. to help your child learn as many new words as they are capable of, revising them daily. Use full sentences: “Look at the big red car. Let’s count the wheels. Let’s drive your car across the floor Does your car have four wheels? Your car can go fast. Can you make it go slowly?” Young children learn by doing and including plenty of action as you talk will help the learning process. If possible, enrol you child in language enrichment classes, or form groups and engage a good tutor. Find out what theme/inquiry your child is doing at school and link your support to it. Ask the teacher for a list of important vocabulary to practice. In order to cope well in Grade 1, a child needs a cognitive and perceptual vocabulary. Colour/number/shape/size/position in space/sounds in words etc. etc. School curriculums are available on line, which will help you keep pace. Playing with peers is a great help in learning a new language. Children can play without language, and for a couple of months they may just listen but will soon be joining in and may talk more in play than they do in class. If your child has difficulty acquiring the language of learning, talk to a speech and language therapist and get advice. Therapy before the age of six will pay dividends and results will be much faster than if you wait until troubles loom in Grade 1 and negatively affect learning to read. Lastly, make your child’s life as interesting as possible. Visit the zoo, animal parks, farms etc. as often as possible. Be with your child, not in the restaurant taking you ease, and talk, talk, talk. After the visit encourage your child to draw a picture and tell you what he saw. Going to one of our numerous eating venues and handing the child over to the resident nannies is wasting precious language time. Sitting together, talking about the food and having family conversation is making the most of the outing. By Barbara Eaton (Academic Development Co-ordinator for Junior Colleges)
Adequate awareness, interpretation and use of sensory information is the cornerstone of all learning and behaviour. Some sensory deficits are easy to recognise, such as poor vision or hearing. Other difficulties are less easy to interpret, as they may result from difficulty with processing stimuli through movement, touch, pressure, position and gravity receptors. Some children may have adequate hearing, smell and eyesight but have trouble with using visual, auditory and olfactory information for function. Sensory Integration is the organisation of sensations for use. The brain locates, sorts and orders sensations- somewhat as a traffic officer directs moving cars. This enables interpretation of our surroundings and helps us form adaptive responses that form the foundation for behaviour and learning. When the flow of sensations is disorganised every second of one’s life can be like a rush hour traffic jam! Messages get jumbled and some don’t reach their destination at all. Improving sensory integrative functioning is like inserting traffic lights that order and control streams of traffic, organising the tangle of cars and roads, and helping the child predict what to do when the traffic gets really bad. School environments can be overwhelming to children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) due to the enormous quantity and variability of incoming sensations. Common difficulties experienced by children with SPD include delayed development of activities of daily living (such as going to the toilet, putting on shoes), delayed milestones, poor fine motor coordination, poor gross motor coordination, poor posture, restlessness, clumsiness, difficulty socialising, anxiety and low self confidence, poor concentration and attention, poor impulse control, avoidance of play ground, very rough play, very active, very labile, slow work speed, difficulty learning letters and numbers, poor handwriting, difficulty with spatial orientation, difficulty following instructions, distractibility. These are only some of the problems that are most frequently experienced by children with minor or major sensory integrative difficulties. Each child’s symptoms, behaviour and academic ability is different. A closer look at how our senses process information: Vision Organ-Eyes Must be able to detect light and movement Must be able to follow moving objects Must be able to focus on one object Must be able to work together or separately (usually 1 eye dominant Visual processing Transmission of visual input to Occipital lobe in brain where information is interpreted. Manipulate visual concepts (figure ground, visual closure, spatial relations, position in space, form constancy) Integrate visual information with movement (Eye hand coordination, visual motor speed, copying) Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information. Hearing Organ- Outer ear, middle ear (ear drum, ossicles), inner ear (Cochlear) Must be able to detect sound Must be able to interpret sound into meaningful information Must be able to accommodate according to noise Auditory processing Transmission of sound to Temporal Lobe and formation of adaptive response Discrimination between loud and soft/high and low/far and near Speech and language reception and expression Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information Integration with movement impulses (semi-circular canals in inner ear) Connection with arousal and attention levels Position and movement Organ- muscles & joints Proprioceptive processing Transmission of information about position and movement of our bodies to the brain stem and cerebellum Automatic adjustment of posture and appropriate contraction/relaxation of muscles Enables subconscious awareness of the position of our limbs in space, and therefore provides foundation for any coordinated movement for function. Predicts self-orientation, self-awareness and in many cases interest and satisfaction in tasks. Gravity, Head Movement & Balance Organ- Semi-circular canals and otoliths in inner ear Vestibular processing Transmission of information about vibration and gravity (Otoliths), movement, acceleration and position of the head (Semicircular canals) to the brain stem, cerebellum and cerebrum. Interpretation of exactly where we are in relation to gravity, how fast we are going, and in what direction. Enable subconscious adjustments needed for balance, posture and movement Interaction and integration with all other impulses travelling up and down the spinal cord. Major influence on emotional and social responses, self regulation, arousal and concentration, self esteem, anxiety etc Types of sensory responses High threshold- need more sensory information than others to experience the same sensation. Child may present as lethargic, disinterested, weak, and spaced out (low registration). Child may present as very active, have poor motor planning, touches things, moves/spins/jumps etc., likes heavy blankets/tight clothing, inattentive, restless, rough during play. Both types are associated with poor body concept, difficulty with fine and gross motor skills, poor self-confidence. Low threshold- are more easily stimulated by sensory stimuli, need less input than others to experience same sensations. Child may present as anxious, avoidant, difficulty eating, poor motor planning, dislike of being messy, behaviour deteriorates in noisy environments, dislike of change, difficulty with attention and concentration, tantrums Common categories of SPD Dyspraxia Bilateral Integration and Sequencing Visual Praxis Modulation (Over-responsive/Under-responsive) What to do for kids with SI difficulties: Be patient. Kids with SPD take longer to develop thing even though their cognitive function may be normal. Allow more time for individuals with SPD to complete tasks (including going to the toilet, understanding a new concept etc.,) within appropriate classroom boundaries. Help them deal with frustrations and difficulties experienced as a result of SPD. Children with SPD often appear naughty, aggressive, oppositional and disengaged and are often associated with hyperactivity. These behaviours are the outcome of deregulation on an electro-chemical level in the brain. Use positive reinforcement for desired behaviours, and accommodations to make the environment more user-friendly’ to the SPD child. Provide a space that is quiet, dark and uncluttered for SPD kids to utilise as a regulatory tool. Explain that this is not a time-out space which is associated with bad behaviour, but a way to help our brains organise themselves again. Tents work well or you can use a desk with a blanket over it or a quiet room. Provide ample opportunity for movement. Engage SPD kids in taking messages, moving furniture, handing out books etc. Encourage SPD kids to engage in active play during break times. Seat SPD kids in the least distracting place in the classroom.
When a young child throws an object, it’s a parent’s reactive response to scold the child and take that object away from him. He may then pick up another object and throw that one, pushing the adult to anger and frustration. And if he doesn’t do it again right away, his fear of the parent may stop his actions for the moment, only to have him do it at some point later on. A parent asked me for help with her child throwing a toy at the ceiling light in his room. Another one asked me how to stop her son from trying to get his sox and underwear hooked on the fins of the ceiling fan in his room. In each of these situations, the parent’s first response was to punish the child by making him pay for damage to the ceiling light fan or even emptying his room of all objects. I’m certainly not going to advise you to allow children to continue this destructive behaviour, nor am I going to suggest punishing the child. We’ve been trained by our own parents to use force or control to stop a behaviour we don’t like. That was the solution back when autocratic parenting was the norm; the all-powerful parent used punishment and fear to control a child’s behaviour. Instead of the authoritarian style of parenting that our parents used with us as children (expecting children to follow very strict rules unconditionally), today’s parents are encouraged to use an authoritative approach to parenting (a more child-centric view that includes more listening and less lecturing, the use of consequences instead of punishment, and encouraging independence and risk taking). Let’s examine the problem of throwing objects. Why do we want to stop it; because it’s a potentially destructive action that could result in damage or injury. But the act of throwing an object at a target is a normal desire for fun, especially for boys. Using punishment to control this is counterproductive to raising children with unconditional love. I say we should take a different approach in managing some behaviours, such as jumping, climbing, shouting, drawing, and throwing. I say we should create the conditions for a child to jump, climb, shout, draw or throw something in a fun, safe, and appropriate manner. In other words, set up a way for the child to throw something safe as a replacement for throwing the objects at the ceiling light fan. Forget about punishment or getting angry. Instead, get creative! Let’s say that you set up a safe way for your child to throw, such as with a bean bag toy and target set (see image of boys with bean bag toss game). If your child should suddenly one day throw something in an unsafe way, such as at his ceiling fan, react quickly and without words. Guide your child to the bean bag toss toy without yelling, reprimanding or getting angry, and say to him, “This is where you can throw things.” And if necessary, have someone help you remove the ceiling fan from his room until he gets much older. I urge you to take a closer look at a challenging behaviour you’d like to change and then ask yourself these questions: What is my child’s goal in this behaviour How can I help him/her get his/her needs met in a more appropriate way. This novel approach can easily eliminate or quell a challenging behaviour and also eliminate the need for punishment and other fear-based parenting tactics.
Smartphones and tablets are here to stay. In fact, these devices are becoming an integral part of our future and the careers our children will eventually choose. We don’t want to deprive them from participating in the digital world, but as parents, we are concerned about the impact of cell phones, social media, and their online interactions on our children’s mental wellbeing. Also, parents sometimes get stuck thinking about our children as the innocent toddlers and kids they were. The harder reality that we are faced with is that, even when we think they are ‘innocence impersonated’, they are subjected to an amount of peer-pressure and they participate in an online world that we cannot fully comprehend. Our children are exposed to an environment where they are constantly inundated with new apps, new online friends (who they have or have not met), new information and a new way of balancing their digital activity and reality. Although we believe we can relate, we still talk about their “digital” and their “real” lives. The fact is that growing up in this age, children don’t have this distinction. To them, digital is part of their real lives. Let’s sit with that for a bit… Most tweens and teenagers go through a phase of getting stuck in their minds rather than talk about everything. When they encounter events that bother them, whether in person or online, their first port of call may not be their parents. They fear that when they speak up about difficult situations and their parents try to intervene (or interfere), that the situation will get worse. This could happen when they are being bullied or cyberbullied or when they have seen content that their minds can’t really deal with at that age. They may also encounter content such as pornography or sexting that cause them to feel guilt and shame, but remaining curious to engage even more. A significant number of children who are being cyberbullied or are exposed to inappropriate content online unfortunately turn to self-harm as a coping technique. At their age, we can not expect them to have all the emotional tools to help them open up a conversation about how they are feeling and reaching out to someone who can help them. Especially when they are feeling vulnerable and afraid. Sometimes self-harm could lead to suicidal ideation, which is the most scary thought for us, as their parents. When our children are exposed to these situations, they need our help more than ever. They need advice from parents or caregivers to guide them on this journey. But for parents, not knowing when or how this happens means that we can’t protect their minds or their thoughts and unless they talk to us about it, we seldom have any way of knowing. Some parents keep a close eye on all the devices in the home, but with all our time constraints, it is so easy to miss something small that could lead to a bigger issue. Now, more than ever, we have to spend time building better and closer relationships with our children, to ensure they know that we are their safe space. We have to create a space to have conversations about the difficult topics like pornography, sexting, self-harm and bullying, to name a few. We also have to ensure that we have the information at hand to discuss actual difficult situations they encounter, rather than hypothetical scenarios. Where our guidance actively influences the content they search for, post and like on social media. Where we have the opportunity to guide them on who they accept as friends or which messages on chats they react to and more importantly, how they respond. If you are a parent who would really like to know what’s going on in your child’s online conversations, without invading their privacy, join FYI play it safe today. FYI play it safe will send you an alert when your child is exposed to potentially harmful situations. Go to www.fyiplayitsafe.com and start your 7-day free trial.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Developing a sense of empathy is an important life skill. Young children are naturally ego–centric and tend to think only of themselves and their immediate needs. There are various benefits of being empathetic such as having a greater sense of security and, developing stronger relationships with peers and teachers. It fosters tolerance of others as well as promotes good mental health and social harmony. An empathetic adult displays greater success in professional and personal endeavours, overall happier, develop strong leadership qualities and experiences lower levels of stress.
As parents, many of us do things for our kids that we were able and expected to do for ourselves as kids. Our parents didn’t feel the need to negotiate with our sports coach, solve our every problem, or entertain us in our free time. A big difference from today, when all too often we are over-involved in many areas of our children’s lives. Sounds funny, I know. How can a parent be too involved or do too much for their child? Isn’t that just being a good parent? But when we don’t expect our kids to take responsibility for chores or their behaviour, and we attempt to smooth away all the bumps and bruises that are a natural part of childhood, we aren’t doing our kids a favour. Instead, we’re bringing them up to avoid taking personal responsibility and to expect that others will take care of things for them – even when they are really able to take care of it themselves. We’re teaching our kids that life is full of unmanageable problems, when what we actually want them to learn are the basic skills to manage those problems. Stepping back and taking on the role of coach and teacher instead of “do-er” and “fixer” was one of the hardest things I had to do as a parent. But it is also one of the best things you can do to help your child build their social and problem-solving skills and at the same time learn responsibility.
Child drownings happen year-round and PowerPlastics Pool Covers is on a drive to remind parents that these drownings are entirely preventable with multiple layers of safety applied to the pool. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover and adult supervision at all times should be included in these layers of safety at all times. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover offers parental peace of mind as it completely seals off the entire pool. The PVC cover is drawn over strong aluminium batons that rest on the coping, and a tamperproof ratchet fastening system makes it impossible for a small child to access the water. Small drainage holes prevent rain or sprinkler water from collecting on the cover as just a few millimetres of water can be fatal to a curious child. The cover withstands up to 220kg and is easily deployed by two people, or it can be semi-automated for single person usage. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is available in a range of colours, allowing it to blend into the outdoor area. Importantly, the cover complies with the recommended guidelines (SANS 10134) for pool safety, set by the SABS who oversees pool safety compliance in SA. Thermal pool covers or ‘bubble’ covers that lie directly on the water should never be considered as child safety pool covers as they do not bear weight. Aside from covering the pool, every adult in the home needs to know what a drowning in progress actually looks like as TV has created many misconceptions around this. There is no noise or splashing nor calls for help. Drowning is quick and silent. Even if one doesn’t have children, it is still necessary to consider safety for visitors. Families living in residential complexes with a communal pool should insist that their body corporate install a solid safety pool cover. PowerPlastics Pool Covers has also created a Safety Monitor system. Based on the principle that adult supervision is key to avoiding drownings, it allows children to quickly identify the adult in charge should there be a safety issue among the children in the pool. When there’s a larger number of children in the pool, e.g at pool parties, it is advisable to have two or more supervisors each wearing a tag. A busy pool is high risk. You can download it here and print at home. Laminate it if possible (to prevent water damage) and then add a lanyard or tie it on a loop of string and wear around the neck. The bottom line is that children need to be supervised around pools, and as long as the pool is covered and other layers of safety are in place, the likelihood of a tragedy occurring in your pool is greatly reduced. Practical tips for pool safety Don’t let your pool’s water levels drop. Keeping the pool topped up allows for small arms to easily grab the edge if needed. For every two children in the pool, have one adult supervising and use the Saefty Monitor tag system. The more children, the more supervisors needed. Be aware that children’s pool parties are high-risk events. Turn off fountains and water features. Not only do they waste water and power, they can cause ripples and splashing, making it harder to see when a child has encountered difficulty in the pool or has sunk to the bottom. Ensure that every adult in the home knows CPR, including domestic workers. Never hire a baby sitter or au pair who can’t swim. Don’t let anyone who has been drinking or on sedative medication supervise children in a pool. Don’t leave toys in or near an open pool as children will be tempted to retrieve them. Teach your child to swim fully clothed and with shoes on. If your child develops a fear of water, don’t ignore this – a child who panics is at greater risk of drowning. Never allow swimming after dark. Discourage your dogs from swimming. Children and pets in a pool are not a good mix. Never leave the pool without securing it with your PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Never design / build a pool that cannot be secured for child safety. The Vektor Rollup Station brings semi-automation to the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Learn more.
