Child - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Parental Rights and Responsibilities

Parental responsibility is the responsibility to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian of the child, and to contribute to the maintenance of the child. The Children’s Act further sets out that a person may have full or specific parental responsibilities and rights. Full parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may be entitled to all the rights set out in the Act. Specific parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may only have a specific right in terms of the Act; for example, the right to act only as guardian of the child.

May 25, 2023

Tips on how to get your child to do their chores

Do your kids whine and moan about having to help you around the house or yard? Does it seem like pulling teeth to get them to do the smallest of tasks? And if you do assign them some household chore, do they avoid doing it until you are yelling and doling out punishments? If you’re finding yourself in this situation way too often, let me offer some advice. When you think back to your own childhood, you probably hated the thought of having to do your chores too. Why? Because many parents ruled with the “iron hand” of autocracy to ensure that you did what you were told. Most parents today have replaced that unhealthy approach to parenting with more democratic means for raising their children. The bottom line is that when you remove fear from rearing children, you leave room for opinions, feelings, and resistance; all things that get in the way of efficiency. So how do you get kids to do their chores? If you’re using more respectful and democratic parenting methods at home like I am, then the secret is to extend that style of parenting to chores. This means setting things up in advance, incorporating their opinions and ideas, and establishing verbal and written agreements. It also means using respect to get them to follow through when they fall short. As part of your next weekly or bimonthly family meeting, establish the list of chores the grownups will do and ask everyone to help construct a list of all the other chores that need to be done. Listen to your children’s and teen’s ideas on how and when these chores will get done. Draft a schedule that everyone agrees to and consider getting everyone to sign it. If any of your children are extremely resistant and uncooperative, postpone the discussion until the next meeting. Chore assignments will be more effective when you have a unanimous agreement by all family members. It’s also equally important that all chores have an assigned date, time, and schedule for completion. There should be no question as to when it should be done and what the finished job looks like. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of using very specific parameters when getting kids to complete tasks. And most importantly, you do not have an agreement with a child until they utter the words of the entire agreement! Whenever you notice that someone did not complete an assigned and agreed upon chore, commit to NOT coaxing, reminding, or scolding. In fact, do not speak at all! Simply find that child in question and placing your hand on his or her back, gently and lovingly guide them to the location of the chore that wasn’t completed. If they resist and fight your guidance, then something in your relationship with that child needs to be addressed before this follow-up method will work. Finally, I’m often asked at what age a child is old enough to help with chores. My suggestion is that children as young as preschoolers can do some chores, but of course, the task assigned to them must be age and ability appropriate. Getting children this young to cooperate with chores and tasks requires that the assignments be few, simple, easy to do, and implemented with lots of fun, excitement, and praise when successfully completed.

May 24, 2023

HOW TO GET KIDS TO NOT HIDE THEIR MISTAKES

It’s a week night and your child is stressing over a test at school the next day. Your child then tells you that some friends are coming by to pick your child up because they are going to the library to study for this exam. You trust that your teen is being truthful and you watch the car drive away, headed to the town library. But what happens next is a parent’s nightmare. Somewhere between your house and the library, your child’s friends discuss going to a party they heard about on social media that has no adult chaperones. Your teen objects to the idea but in that moment influenced by peer pressure, the group decides to go find that party and your teenager goes along for the ride. Your teen may be thinking that there is still a possibility that the library will be their real and final destination that evening. Later that evening, the party-goers begin pairing off and disappearing in rooms and dark corners of the house. Another teenager begins flirting with yours and the situation gets very uncomfortable. Your child immediately exits the house, sits down on the front steps, and calls you from their cell phone. They admit to you not being at the library, apologise sincerely, and provide you with the address to come pick them up fast. I bet I’d have trouble finding any parent who wouldn’t want this to be the outcome for a similar situation involving their teenager. So, in order for your (future) teen to feel comfortable taking this action in a similar situation, what would be required to exist in your relationship with your child? If you said trust, you’re right. In that trust, your teen would have to feel safe calling and being with you, not feeling fearful of repercussions to admitting they made a mistake, and feeling comfortable calling you for help. Back to the present moment, what can you begin doing now on a daily basis to ensure that your relationship with your children will be built on trust? Here are five things you can begin doing right away. Listen More and Lecture Less. Announce an “open door policy” in your family that your children (and teens) can talk to you anytime, about anything, and without judgment, ridicule, or punishment. Remain Calm if You Catch Them in a Lie. Lying is normal for most children and a natural means of protection from parents who get angry and punitive in reaction to mistakes, poor judgment or misbehaviour. Commit to NOT Yelling. No human, child or adult, enjoys being yelled at. It kills the spirit, fosters fear, and provokes fight or flight; your child or teen will yell back or ‘run away.’ Quell Your Anger. Understand your own emotions and do all you can to manage them. If you’re easily brought to anger, seek out professional counselling. Develop the habit of taking a timeout to cool down before speaking or taking action in the face of your child’s behaviour. Apologise When You Make a Mistake. Tell your family that you are working on learning to be a calmer parent (and spouse). When you make a mistake and yell, spank or punish, take ownership for what you said or did and apologise for it. Provide a ‘make up’ to the recipient of your words or actions and acknowledge the fact that you’re a “work in progress.”

May 23, 2023

Developing trust between toddler and sibling

The relationship between siblings is very special, no matter what the age. A good, trusting relationship does not just automatically happen. As a parent, opportunities for developing this kind of relationship need to be given so that it can be built from a very young age. When a child is told that a little brother or sister is on the way there is much excitement! But after the baby is born things aren’t quite as they imagined. Their little brother or sister cries a lot and takes a lot of mom and dad’s attention. It’s hard for toddlers to play and share when they don’t know how to socialize. This is the important time when the parents step in and they can practically help build and foster a relationship of trust between the siblings which will hopefully continue until they are adults. Trust has a major part to play in a sibling relationship. The meaning of the word trust is “a firm belief in the honesty, truthfulness, justice, or power of a person or thing” (Barnhart, 1987). When siblings have a sense of trust in their relationship, it provides a good foundation for a meaningful relationship. If a good relationship is in place when they are young this helps as they grow older and face challenges in life. They know that they are there for each other. Erik Erikson was an American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst who had a theory about the psychosocial development of people. He is well known in the area of child development and he has some valid points when looking at the importance of relationships between people. In his theory he focuses on 4 stages of psychosocial development in children. The first two are applicable to young children. Stage one is called Trust verses Mistrust and this occurs from birth to about 1 year. A child needs to feel a sense of belonging and warmth from his family. He needs to feel that he can trust his family to provide for his needs. We can take this further and also apply it to a relationship with a sibling. A trusting relationship between siblings is there so that they feel they can rely on someone and relate to someone besides their parents. If there is mistrust between the child and the family at this young age he will develop a sense that no one can be trusted and that the world is an intimidating place. The second stage is Autonomy verses Shame and Doubt. This occurs in the ages 2-3 years of age. During this stage of the child becoming more independent the older sibling has a vital role to play. He will learn a lot from the older sibling and will model what he sees. The older sibling can encourage the younger one as he grows and learns. Having a trusting relationship between the sibling’s means that the younger sibling can trust the older sibling and feel comfortable to learn from them. If a younger sibling is battling with something and no one intervenes, they can feel a sense of failure and doubt themselves. Tips to build a trusting relationship between siblings: Friendship: Siblings should be encouraged to be friends. Encourage them to play together and spend time together. Find games and activities that they both enjoy and encourage them to take turns to choose what game to play. Individuality: Help your children to realize that they are unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses. Siblings will argue and compete to see who is better! Parents need to intervene and help them see that there are advantages to having a sibling who has different strengths from their own. They can help with their problem areas. Provide opportunities to talk about their differences and unique traits. Helping each other: Giving opportunities to help each other, instead of the parents always intervening, also helps develop trust in their relationship. They learn to rely on each other and ask for help when needed. They also realize that their sibling is always there for them. Sorting out conflict: Conflict and arguments are bound to happen. Siblings need to realize that it’s ok to get cross with each other but the situation needs to be dealt with then and there. Working through the emotions and the cause of the problem, with the parent’s guidance, not only helps the sibling’s problem solve but also helps them to realize the importance of solving conflict. Even with conflict it is important to emphasize the fact that they still love each other and can trust each other. When helping them to solve conflict they also learn to understand each other more and it creates a sense of empathy. Saying ‘I love you’: These are very powerful words and it means a lot to vocalize this from a very young age. Siblings should be encouraged to say ‘I love you’ regularly to create a deeper relationship. Teaching young children to get on and have a good relationship can be challenging, but it is very important for them to realize that friends come and go but siblings are forever. Written By: Lauren Reddell (Gr 000 teacher at Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Little Falls)

May 19, 2023

HELP! MY KIDS WON’T STOP FIGHTING!

Parents generally see their children as wonderful gifts from the heavens but children don’t always see each other in that same light. They first see their primary caregivers, and the love and attention they get from them, as a limited commodity. They then see their siblings as competition for that love and attention and sometimes feel they have to fight for it. When a new child enters the family, the oldest or older children sometimes feel as if they have been dethroned and now have to share their parents with this new child. This can bring about feelings of animosity and jealousy between children. To deal with this problem effectively, parents can find ways that will allow the older child to become a teacher or leader to the younger child(ren). You can also give the older child special privileges and give them special time with you, such as one-on-one dates to help them feel like they haven’t lost their place in the family. Fighting and other forms of sibling rivalry also occur as a result of these feelings. Avoid racing into every little argument or disagreement. If you do, it will teach your children to create problems just to get you involved. It will also train them that they are NOT accountable for stopping fights and working things out, it teaches them instead that YOU are responsible for doing that. Because you ARE responsible for keeping everyone safe, sometimes the only solution is to just separate them. This is especially true for when toddlers and preschoolers hit one another or begin to fight. It just means they’ve had enough of that other person for a while and they want them out of their space. Avoid using punishments like time out and avoid taking sides. When a conflict breaks out, just separate both of them. It doesn’t matter who started it or who did what, just separate them in different spaces to be apart. And during this moment of behavior management, remain calm and talk very little. You can easily transfer your own negative feelings into the relationship between the children. Sometimes the conflict between the children is actually an imitation of what’s going on with the adults.

May 12, 2023

MY CHILD IS SCARED AND KEEPS GETTING OUT OF HIS BED

I received the following question in an email from a parent: “Our son is three years old and for the past three months he has not been sleeping well. Depending on the night, it can take numerous attempts to get him to go to sleep and then when he does, he wakes up every 3 hours or so and it can take a while for him to go back to sleep. He never had any issues with sleep prior to this. His father and I are married and have a great loving relationship and nothing has changed in our family at all over the past year. What thoughts do you have for us in dealing with his sleep issues?” Here is my reply to this parent: Children go through different phases throughout their childhood and sometimes their behavior doesn’t make sense to us. They could see something scary quickly, hear adults talking about something alarming or a friend at school might tell them something that bothers them. The most important thing for you to do is to remain calm around this issue. When children see their parents acting calm and not appearing anxious, it can actually help them calm down as well. Here are a few things you can do right away. DO SOMETHING AS A FAMILY IN THE HOUR OR TWO BEFORE HIS BEDTIME. I know it can be difficult for working parents, but make time for it anyway. Spend time together reading a book, playing a quiet game, or talking. This loving activity will help him to feel loved and know that his family is OK. IDENTIFY THE PRIMARY ACTIVITIES AT BEDTIME AND SEE THAT THEY HAPPEN. With him, create a visual list of what he needs to do: potty, get PJs on, a story, teeth brushing, and a drink of water. Creating a visual list will help create sameness and routine. Children with more sameness and routine in their lives feel more comforted and calm. I love the product called SCHKIDULES (http://www.schkidules.com) because they allow parents to create visual routines for little and big children. GUIDE HIM BACK SILENTLY EACH TIME HE GETS OUT OF BED. Tell him in advance that starting tonight, after he gets tucked into bed, one parent will guide him back to his bed and they will not be able to speak to him. Role play this. Make believe to tuck him into bed and then when he gets out, calmly and lovingly (without speaking) guide him back to his bed and leave the room immediately. Remember, no talking to the child when he gets out of bed after being officially tucked in. But be sure and smile and lovingly return him to his bed immediately and then leave his room. Do this whether he wakes while you’re up or after you go to sleep. Your job is to create sameness, routine and to draw boundaries and follow through.

May 12, 2023

3 POWERFUL METHODS FOR HANDLING CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR

When I deliver a live parent lecture, I sometimes ask my audience to raise their hand if their parents used punishment when they misbehaved. Most hands go up, revealing that punishment was a common parenting tool back in the day. Since that time, society has determined that punitive treatment of our children is no longer acceptable. Researchers have also determined that children who are punished are more likely to have low self-esteem and experience depression or even suicidal thoughts as adults. Many of today’s parents also understand how important the experience during the early years of childhood contribute to the success of their children in their adult years. This includes how happy they are, how well they seek out healthy living habits, and how well they are able to select other healthy adults into their lives. So if you want to set your child up for success, here are just a few suggestions on how to handle challenging behaviors with your children. This does not serve as a complete list, but simply a few suggestions to get you started. FIND A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR NEEDS MET. Sometimes a parent is on a mission to accomplish some task and his children are making it difficult by demonstrating uncooperative behavior. Ask yourself, “What fun can I add to this moment that will provide some cooperation. One day I was bound and determined to get the leaves raked up in the yard and my kids did not want to help. Instead of getting angry, yelling and punishing them, I issued a challenge to my three kids: WHOEVER COULD RAKE UP THE LARGES PILE OF LEAVES WOULD GET THROWN INTO IT. The kids immediately ran out into the yard to begin raking. My goal was accomplished GIVE YOUR CHILD A SENSE OF VALUE. A woman shared with me that her son would act out and misbehave whenever she was busy in the kitchen preparing for a big meal for a family gathering. Perhaps the boy felt as if he was competing with the kitchen activities for his mom’s attention. I told her to make a list of all the guests who will be coming to dinner, and have the boy create a drawing on a large 8.5″ x 17″ piece of paper, specifically for each of those individuals. Those drawing will be the placemats placed at each place setting. After the dinner is completed and the dishes are cleared, the little boy gets to explain what each drawing means to the person he drew it for. GIVE YOUR CHILD A CHOICE. Demanding a child to do something immediately doesn’t work in this modern age. It did back when we were young because it was a different time with a different style of parenting. Most of us were raised by autocratic parents who issued demands regularly and we were expected to comply. So instead of issuing commands to your child, give them a choice related to completing the task. Instead of saying, “Go brush your teeth!”, say, “Would you like me to brush your teeth or would you like to do it yourself?”

May 11, 2023

My kid is not online

Sure, you might think this, but the reality is, if they’re watching YouTube, playing games on your phone or streaming TV – they are online. Would you rather your child learns how to navigate this world from their peers or through trial and error? Studies have shown that teenage suicide has increased with the growth of cyberbullying. Cybercriminals do not discriminate on age; they attack anyone who is online and unprotected. Unexpected purchases happen from more pop-ups and ads that interrupt games than ever before. We live in a digital world; your child was born to a screen and the loving arms of mom and dad. Screens are a part of our lives, there is no getting away from it. Social Kids was founded out of a concern for what children are being exposed to at a young age with little to no control. The purpose of the course is to equip children with the skills to STOP. Think. Before they click. The content has been developed to be fun, engaging and memorable, along with an amazing team of professionals and many hours of research coupled with 20 years of digital marketing experience, this program was created to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is a series of pre-recorded videos to be watched over 5 weeks. There are five 20-minute videos. Each adventure tackles essential topics like how to be SMART online, deal with cyberbullies, spot fake new and having good manners online. Codey Crawler with his BFF Miss Nadie, a professional teacher guides the conversation to show children how they can approach these topics and keep talking to their loved ones. After each adventure, children must complete activities to earn digital badges. Once these adventures have been completed, children will receive a Global Surfer button and a certificate of achievement. Giving you the confidence that your child can face any situation that may find them, either now or later in life. Join Codey Crawler as he helps to guide our children through the digital world they play and learn in. Codey will give children aged 7 to 11 years old the confidence and guidance to surf the net, know their rights and handle uncomfortable situations before their tweens. Register today and save!

May 10, 2023

How to assist your child in developing their language of learning

Mom is strolling around the supermarket with a six-month-old infant in the baby seat. Not once does she engage in eye contact, talk to the child or even smile. When the baby becomes restive, a dummy is thrust in his mouth without a word spoken. Contrast this with a dad in a fruit and veg store, with an infant of similar age. At every display he picks up a fruit, lets the baby touch and smell it and talks about the name of it, the colour and how good it tastes. Not hard to know which of these babies will develop a good language as he grows. Babies develop language through constant face to face engagement with a trusted care giver. These days many infants are left in the hands of untrained nannies who are too busy listening to music on their earphones or talking on their cell. The foundations of language are laid in utero and beyond. Two-year old’s who have been deprived of stimulating language are already developmentally behind their peers and the gap grows, requiring expensive therapeutic intervention before formal school entry. Adding to this language gap, we now place the child into a school where the language of learning is different and expect that the new language will be acquired rapidly-because that’s what we pay fees for! What is not understood is that a second language is based on the first. Almost like making a photocopy. If the original is poor, the copy will be too. Home language is important, but make it rich by talking, singing and reading to the baby/toddler. TV and tablets do not teach language, it is a reciprocal process. If someone in the home is fluent in the proposed language of learning, they should be doing all the above in that language, from day one. Babies are pre-programmed to learn as many as 4 languages simultaneously, AS LONG AS EACH LANGUAGE IS SPOKEN BY THE SAME PERSON. Granny can speak Sotho, Mum isiZulu and Dad English, but they must stick to their language until the child is at least 3. Don’t mix languages, this just results in language soup! Besides talking, singing and playing with the child, using a rich vocabulary, you should be reading to the baby from a very early age. Initially use board books with clear pictures that relate directly to the child’s home environment. Talk about the pictures, relate them to real objects if possible and let the baby touch them when you name them. Expand the range of books as the baby grows and by two, join the local library. A weekly visit in search of a new book will become a highlight. You will of course have taught the child how to handle books respectfully! Yes, you can use a tablet, but these are too heavy for young babies to handle and hold. Books in many of our official languages are scares, but you can translate! But what if my child is only speaking one language when he enters school? In this situation, parents will have to work hard to support the school. Here, a tablet can be useful as you can find good apps for simple songs that will help your child acquire the rhythm of the new language. Find books that have a picture with details of familiar rooms at home, animals, toys etc. to help your child learn as many new words as they are capable of, revising them daily. Use full sentences: “Look at the big red car. Let’s count the wheels. Let’s drive your car across the floor Does your car have four wheels? Your car can go fast. Can you make it go slowly?” Young children learn by doing and including plenty of action as you talk will help the learning process. If possible, enrol you child in language enrichment classes, or form groups and engage a good tutor. Find out what theme/inquiry your child is doing at school and link your support to it. Ask the teacher for a list of important vocabulary to practice. In order to cope well in Grade 1, a child needs a cognitive and perceptual vocabulary. Colour/number/shape/size/position in space/sounds in words etc. etc. School curriculums are available on line, which will help you keep pace. Playing with peers is a great help in learning a new language. Children can play without language, and for a couple of months they may just listen but will soon be joining in and may talk more in play than they do in class. If your child has difficulty acquiring the language of learning, talk to a speech and language therapist and get advice. Therapy before the age of six will pay dividends and results will be much faster than if you wait until troubles loom in Grade 1 and negatively affect learning to read. Lastly, make your child’s life as interesting as possible. Visit the zoo, animal parks, farms etc. as often as possible. Be with your child, not in the restaurant taking you ease, and talk, talk, talk. After the visit encourage your child to draw a picture and tell you what he saw. Going to one of our numerous eating venues and handing the child over to the resident nannies is wasting precious language time. Sitting together, talking about the food and having family conversation is making the most of the outing. By Barbara Eaton (Academic Development Co-ordinator for Junior Colleges)

May 10, 2023

WHAT IS SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER?

Adequate awareness, interpretation and use of sensory information is the cornerstone of all learning and behaviour. Some sensory deficits are easy to recognise, such as poor vision or hearing. Other difficulties are less easy to interpret, as they may result from difficulty with processing stimuli through movement, touch, pressure, position and gravity receptors. Some children may have adequate hearing, smell and eyesight but have trouble with using visual, auditory and olfactory information for function. Sensory Integration is the organisation of sensations for use. The brain locates, sorts and orders sensations- somewhat as a traffic officer directs moving cars. This enables interpretation of our surroundings and helps us form adaptive responses that form the foundation for behaviour and learning. When the flow of sensations is disorganised every second of one’s life can be like a rush hour traffic jam! Messages get jumbled and some don’t reach their destination at all. Improving sensory integrative functioning is like inserting traffic lights that order and control streams of traffic, organising the tangle of cars and roads, and helping the child predict what to do when the traffic gets really bad. School environments can be overwhelming to children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) due to the enormous quantity and variability of incoming sensations. Common difficulties experienced by children with SPD include delayed development of activities of daily living (such as going to the toilet, putting on shoes), delayed milestones, poor fine motor coordination, poor gross motor coordination, poor posture, restlessness, clumsiness, difficulty socialising, anxiety and low self confidence, poor concentration and attention, poor impulse control, avoidance of play ground, very rough play, very active, very labile, slow work speed, difficulty learning letters and numbers, poor handwriting, difficulty with spatial orientation, difficulty following instructions, distractibility. These are only some of the problems that are most frequently experienced by children with minor or major sensory integrative difficulties. Each child’s symptoms, behaviour and academic ability is different. A closer look at how our senses process information: Vision Organ-Eyes Must be able to detect light and movement Must be able to follow moving objects Must be able to focus on one object Must be able to work together or separately (usually 1 eye dominant Visual processing Transmission of visual input to Occipital lobe in brain where information is interpreted. Manipulate visual concepts (figure ground, visual closure, spatial relations, position in space, form constancy) Integrate visual information with movement (Eye hand coordination, visual motor speed, copying) Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information. Hearing Organ- Outer ear, middle ear (ear drum, ossicles), inner ear (Cochlear) Must be able to detect sound Must be able to interpret sound into meaningful information Must be able to accommodate according to noise Auditory processing Transmission of sound to Temporal Lobe and formation of adaptive response Discrimination between loud and soft/high and low/far and near Speech and language reception and expression Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information Integration with movement impulses (semi-circular canals in inner ear) Connection with arousal and attention levels Position and movement Organ- muscles & joints Proprioceptive processing Transmission of information about position and movement of our bodies to the brain stem and cerebellum Automatic adjustment of posture and appropriate contraction/relaxation of muscles Enables subconscious awareness of the position of our limbs in space, and therefore provides foundation for any coordinated movement for function. Predicts self-orientation, self-awareness and in many cases interest and satisfaction in tasks. Gravity, Head Movement & Balance Organ- Semi-circular canals and otoliths in inner ear Vestibular processing Transmission of information about vibration and gravity (Otoliths), movement, acceleration and position of the head (Semicircular canals) to the brain stem, cerebellum and cerebrum. Interpretation of exactly where we are in relation to gravity, how fast we are going, and in what direction. Enable subconscious adjustments needed for balance, posture and movement Interaction and integration with all other impulses travelling up and down the spinal cord. Major influence on emotional and social responses, self regulation, arousal and concentration, self esteem, anxiety etc Types of sensory responses High threshold- need more sensory information than others to experience the same sensation. Child may present as lethargic, disinterested, weak, and spaced out (low registration). Child may present as very active, have poor motor planning, touches things, moves/spins/jumps etc., likes heavy blankets/tight clothing, inattentive, restless, rough during play. Both types are associated with poor body concept, difficulty with fine and gross motor skills, poor self-confidence. Low threshold- are more easily stimulated by sensory stimuli, need less input than others to experience same sensations. Child may present as anxious, avoidant, difficulty eating, poor motor planning, dislike of being messy, behaviour deteriorates in noisy environments, dislike of change, difficulty with attention and concentration, tantrums Common categories of SPD Dyspraxia Bilateral Integration and Sequencing Visual Praxis Modulation (Over-responsive/Under-responsive) What to do for kids with SI difficulties: Be patient. Kids with SPD take longer to develop thing even though their cognitive function may be normal. Allow more time for individuals with SPD to complete tasks (including going to the toilet, understanding a new concept etc.,) within appropriate classroom boundaries. Help them deal with frustrations and difficulties experienced as a result of SPD. Children with SPD often appear naughty, aggressive, oppositional and disengaged and are often associated with hyperactivity. These behaviours are the outcome of deregulation on an electro-chemical level in the brain. Use positive reinforcement for desired behaviours, and accommodations to make the environment more user-friendly’ to the SPD child. Provide a space that is quiet, dark and uncluttered for SPD kids to utilise as a regulatory tool. Explain that this is not a time-out space which is associated with bad behaviour, but a way to help our brains organise themselves again. Tents work well or you can use a desk with a blanket over it or a quiet room. Provide ample opportunity for movement. Engage SPD kids in taking messages, moving furniture, handing out books etc. Encourage SPD kids to engage in active play during break times. Seat SPD kids in the least distracting place in the classroom.

May 9, 2023

HOW TO STOP CHILDREN FROM THROWING OBJECTS

When a young child throws an object, it’s a parent’s reactive response to scold the child and take that object away from him. He may then pick up another object and throw that one, pushing the adult to anger and frustration. And if he doesn’t do it again right away, his fear of the parent may stop his actions for the moment, only to have him do it at some point later on. A parent asked me for help with her child throwing a toy at the ceiling light in his room. Another one asked me how to stop her son from trying to get his sox and underwear hooked on the fins of the ceiling fan in his room. In each of these situations, the parent’s first response was to punish the child by making him pay for damage to the ceiling light fan or even emptying his room of all objects. I’m certainly not going to advise you to allow children to continue this destructive behaviour, nor am I going to suggest punishing the child. We’ve been trained by our own parents to use force or control to stop a behaviour we don’t like. That was the solution back when autocratic parenting was the norm; the all-powerful parent used punishment and fear to control a child’s behaviour. Instead of the authoritarian style of parenting that our parents used with us as children (expecting children to follow very strict rules unconditionally), today’s parents are encouraged to use an authoritative approach to parenting (a more child-centric view that includes more listening and less lecturing, the use of consequences instead of punishment, and encouraging independence and risk taking). Let’s examine the problem of throwing objects. Why do we want to stop it; because it’s a potentially destructive action that could result in damage or injury. But the act of throwing an object at a target is a normal desire for fun, especially for boys. Using punishment to control this is counterproductive to raising children with unconditional love. I say we should take a different approach in managing some behaviours, such as jumping, climbing, shouting, drawing, and throwing. I say we should create the conditions for a child to jump, climb, shout, draw or throw something in a fun, safe, and appropriate manner. In other words, set up a way for the child to throw something safe as a replacement for throwing the objects at the ceiling light fan. Forget about punishment or getting angry. Instead, get creative! Let’s say that you set up a safe way for your child to throw, such as with a bean bag toy and target set (see image of boys with bean bag toss game). If your child should suddenly one day throw something in an unsafe way, such as at his ceiling fan, react quickly and without words. Guide your child to the bean bag toss toy without yelling, reprimanding or getting angry, and say to him, “This is where you can throw things.” And if necessary, have someone help you remove the ceiling fan from his room until he gets much older. I urge you to take a closer look at a challenging behaviour you’d like to change and then ask yourself these questions: What is my child’s goal in this behaviour How can I help him/her get his/her needs met in a more appropriate way. This novel approach can easily eliminate or quell a challenging behaviour and also eliminate the need for punishment and other fear-based parenting tactics.

May 8, 2023

Cellphones, social media and your child’s mental wellbeing

Smartphones and tablets are here to stay. In fact, these devices are becoming an integral part of our future and the careers our children will eventually choose. We don’t want to deprive them from participating in the digital world, but as parents, we are concerned about the impact of cell phones, social media, and their online interactions on our children’s mental wellbeing. Also, parents sometimes get stuck thinking about our children as the innocent toddlers and kids they were. The harder reality that we are faced with is that, even when we think they are ‘innocence impersonated’, they are subjected to an amount of peer-pressure and they participate in an online world that we cannot fully comprehend. Our children are exposed to an environment where they are constantly inundated with new apps, new online friends (who they have or have not met), new information and a new way of balancing their digital activity and reality. Although we believe we can relate, we still talk about their “digital” and their “real” lives. The fact is that growing up in this age, children don’t have this distinction. To them, digital is part of their real lives. Let’s sit with that for a bit… Most tweens and teenagers go through a phase of getting stuck in their minds rather than talk about everything. When they encounter events that bother them, whether in person or online, their first port of call may not be their parents. They fear that when they speak up about difficult situations and their parents try to intervene (or interfere), that the situation will get worse. This could happen when they are being bullied or cyberbullied or when they have seen content that their minds can’t really deal with at that age. They may also encounter content such as pornography or sexting that cause them to feel guilt and shame, but remaining curious to engage even more. A significant number of children who are being cyberbullied or are exposed to inappropriate content online unfortunately turn to self-harm as a coping technique. At their age, we can not expect them to have all the emotional tools to help them open up a conversation about how they are feeling and reaching out to someone who can help them. Especially when they are feeling vulnerable and afraid. Sometimes self-harm could lead to suicidal ideation, which is the most scary thought for us, as their parents. When our children are exposed to these situations, they need our help more than ever. They need advice from parents or caregivers to guide them on this journey. But for parents, not knowing when or how this happens means that we can’t protect their minds or their thoughts and unless they talk to us about it, we seldom have any way of knowing. Some parents keep a close eye on all the devices in the home, but with all our time constraints, it is so easy to miss something small that could lead to a bigger issue. Now, more than ever, we have to spend time building better and closer relationships with our children, to ensure they know that we are their safe space. We have to create a space to have conversations about the difficult topics like pornography, sexting, self-harm and bullying, to name a few. We also have to ensure that we have the information at hand to discuss actual difficult situations they encounter, rather than hypothetical scenarios. Where our guidance actively influences the content they search for, post and like on social media. Where we have the opportunity to guide them on who they accept as friends or which messages on chats they react to and more importantly, how they respond. If you are a parent who would really like to know what’s going on in your child’s online conversations, without invading their privacy, join FYI play it safe today. FYI play it safe will send you an alert when your child is exposed to potentially harmful situations. Go to www.fyiplayitsafe.com and start your 7-day free trial.

May 8, 2023

Are we doing too much for our children?

As parents, many of us do things for our kids that we were able and expected to do for ourselves as kids. Our parents didn’t feel the need to negotiate with our sports coach, solve our every problem, or entertain us in our free time. A big difference from today, when all too often we are over-involved in many areas of our children’s lives. Sounds funny, I know. How can a parent be too involved or do too much for their child? Isn’t that just being a good parent? But when we don’t expect our kids to take responsibility for chores or their behaviour, and we attempt to smooth away all the bumps and bruises that are a natural part of childhood, we aren’t doing our kids a favour. Instead, we’re bringing them up to avoid taking personal responsibility and to expect that others will take care of things for them – even when they are really able to take care of it themselves. We’re teaching our kids that life is full of unmanageable problems, when what we actually want them to learn are the basic skills to manage those problems. Stepping back and taking on the role of coach and teacher instead of “do-er” and “fixer” was one of the hardest things I had to do as a parent. But it is also one of the best things you can do to help your child build their social and problem-solving skills and at the same time learn responsibility.

April 28, 2023

Developing the skill of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Developing a sense of empathy is an important life skill. Young children are naturally ego–centric and tend to think only of themselves and their immediate needs. There are various benefits of being empathetic such as having a greater sense of security and, developing stronger relationships with peers and teachers. It fosters tolerance of others as well as promotes good mental health and social harmony. An empathetic adult displays greater success in professional and personal endeavours, overall happier, develop strong leadership qualities and experiences lower levels of stress.

April 28, 2023

Child drownings are not seasonal and are almost always preventable

Child drownings happen year-round and PowerPlastics Pool Covers is on a drive to remind parents that these drownings are entirely preventable with multiple layers of safety applied to the pool. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover and adult supervision at all times should be included in these layers of safety at all times. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover offers parental peace of mind as it completely seals off the entire pool. The PVC cover is drawn over strong aluminium batons that rest on the coping, and a tamperproof ratchet fastening system makes it impossible for a small child to access the water. Small drainage holes prevent rain or sprinkler water from collecting on the cover as just a few millimetres of water can be fatal to a curious child. The cover withstands up to 220kg and is easily deployed by two people, or it can be semi-automated for single person usage. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is available in a range of colours, allowing it to blend into the outdoor area. Importantly, the cover complies with the recommended guidelines (SANS 10134) for pool safety, set by the SABS who oversees pool safety compliance in SA. Thermal pool covers or ‘bubble’ covers that lie directly on the water should never be considered as child safety pool covers as they do not bear weight. Aside from covering the pool, every adult in the home needs to know what a drowning in progress actually looks like as TV has created many misconceptions around this. There is no noise or splashing nor calls for help. Drowning is quick and silent. Even if one doesn’t have children, it is still necessary to consider safety for visitors. Families living in residential complexes with a communal pool should insist that their body corporate install a solid safety pool cover. PowerPlastics Pool Covers has also created a Safety Monitor system. Based on the principle that adult supervision is key to avoiding drownings, it allows children to quickly identify the adult in charge should there be a safety issue among the children in the pool. When there’s a larger number of children in the pool, e.g at pool parties, it is advisable to have two or more supervisors each wearing a tag. A busy pool is high risk. You can download it here and print at home. Laminate it if possible (to prevent water damage) and then add a lanyard or tie it on a loop of string and wear around the neck. The bottom line is that children need to be supervised around pools, and as long as the pool is covered and other layers of safety are in place, the likelihood of a tragedy occurring in your pool is greatly reduced. Practical tips for pool safety Don’t let your pool’s water levels drop. Keeping the pool topped up allows for small arms to easily grab the edge if needed. For every two children in the pool, have one adult supervising and use the Saefty Monitor tag system. The more children, the more supervisors needed. Be aware that children’s pool parties are high-risk events. Turn off fountains and water features. Not only do they waste water and power, they can cause ripples and splashing, making it harder to see when a child has encountered difficulty in the pool or has sunk to the bottom. Ensure that every adult in the home knows CPR, including domestic workers. Never hire a baby sitter or au pair who can’t swim. Don’t let anyone who has been drinking or on sedative medication supervise children in a pool. Don’t leave toys in or near an open pool as children will be tempted to retrieve them. Teach your child to swim fully clothed and with shoes on. If your child develops a fear of water, don’t ignore this – a child who panics is at greater risk of drowning. Never allow swimming after dark. Discourage your dogs from swimming. Children and pets in a pool are not a good mix. Never leave the pool without securing it with your PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Never design / build a pool that cannot be secured for child safety. The Vektor Rollup Station brings semi-automation to the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Learn more.

April 18, 2023

Bossy Kids – How to assist your take-charge child

Making friends is no easy task. It takes a lot of growing confidence and a positive self-image to crack the code of successful and happy friendships. As children go through their pre-primary years it is often a struggle to gain acceptance from peers, and not be the isolated child roaming the playground. Children often seek control over their lives and worry about having their needs met. Often times the behaviours which they display in this regard may make them come across as a bit of a tyrant. They have big ideas running through their minds and they want things to be done exactly right. They tend to be egocentric and want others to play the way they want to play, and struggle to take “no” for an answer. If this is your child, take note, as it may quite possibly lead to bigger problems in the long run if not nurtured appropriately. As adults we tend to be bossy too, but recognise when things are not working out and instead formulate new action plans. Children on the other hand find it difficult to move beyond their own immediate needs. For some, bossiness is momentary, while others have a naturally dominant personality. This in turn could lead to more consistent bossy behaviour. Tell-tale signs of a ‘bossy’ kid include: Telling other kids that they do things wrong, having difficulty waiting for a turn (more often than not), disagreeing with rules (and/or often creating new rules), focusing on winning, and interrupting often. Those learners with a more dominant personality will also try to gain some control, test one’s limit, be attention seeking, and copy the behaviour of other children or an adult. Ultimately bossy children tend to be bright, gifted, assertive and creative. If nurtured properly these traits can become an asset in developing appropriate leadership skills. However, if left untamed bossy children may well feel and become more isolated within any environment. Parents and other adults can be important teachers as children learn how to get along with their friends. They need your help in understanding what works and what doesn’t work. And most importantly, they need your encouragement as they build strong friendships. Here are some key tips to help tone down that bossy-boots: Tips to tone down bossiness Tip #1: Satisfy the need to be in charge Look for opportunities where your child can have power to make decisions or take control. Provide choices when it comes to food, chores, dressing, play and other daily activities. Tip #2: Model how to give directions Often times our kids simply repeat the behaviours they learn from watching us. Stop and take a look at how you ask your spouse and your kids to do things. Modelling our own requests in a positive, calm manner can make a big difference in how our kids talk to their siblings and peers. Practice mutual respect. Apologise when you make a mistake and keep your voice firm but calm when correcting behaviours. And avoid humiliation when correcting bossy behaviour in a group setting, by rather taking your child aside and pointing out specifics, followed by examples of more appropriate ways to handle the situation. Tip #3: Role-Play Look for as many situations as possible to take advantage of modelling, turn-taking and asking permission to do things with other people, rather than being bossy. Get your children to use those active imaginations in a role-play, using puppets and stuffed toys working through issues such as negotiation, speaking out about feelings and finding alternative positive ways of how heated situations may be handled better. You could also do a role reversal: Allow your child to be you for fifteen minutes. She gets to make and enforce the rules, choose the meals, and run the show. Watch out! It will probably be fairly eye opening! Tip #4: Say “yes” whenever possible No one likes to be told “No” the majority of the time and let’s face it, pre-schoolers make unreasonable requests all day long and get told “No” on a regular basis. This is often deflating. Rather look for opportunities to say “Yes” to your child whenever possible, so that he feels like his personal wants and needs are being met. Tip #5: Play board games Most bossy kids have the need to win. Board games are a wonderful opportunity to nonchalantly enforce turn-taking and playing by a set of rules. It’s also a good moment to reinforce that the joy can be in the game itself, rather than the outcome. Be excited about the game and how much fun it is enjoying the time you are spending together, not about who is winning or losing. This will help plant the seed that it’s not about winning, it’s about interacting and enjoying an experience together. Even with it being quite frustrating, always make yourself as parent/guardian available, aware and ready to jump in when your child needs help with which behaviours are bossy and how to change them. Bossiness can’t be cured overnight, but the sooner you start the sooner your child will learn to play and be fair towards others. Now that we know how to assist a bossy child, let’s take a look at ways of encouraging a sensitive child to stand up to Miss Bossy Boots. Having been a teacher in the Foundation Phase I often came across sensitive learners being taken advantage of and suddenly I realised that teaching and encouraging parents to teach their children to stand up for themselves was far more important than encouraging an easy going personality. You can’t change a child’s inherent nature, but you can help kids stick up for their right, with confidence. Being assertive helps in virtually every relationship at school, at home and on the playground. In the classroom, it puts a child at an advantage because she’s comfortable commanding the teacher’s attention, raising her hand if she knows the answer, and asking for extra help if she is lost. She will also have

April 14, 2023

Bubblegummers are back! Strong, comfy, scented sneakers for building imagination without limits

Bata South Africa has brought back its top-selling, global children’s footwear range, Bubblegummers, promising to fuel the imagination of little ones once again with the coolest, comfiest shoes around. The new line of Bubblegummers high-tops and sneakers is out now in selected Edgars stores nationwide and online. A firm favourite for kids the world over, Bubblegummers have delivered lasting memories of fun and adventure for generations of children. They’re crafted for function, durability and great support for growing feet, but designed with colour and fun in mind. With elasticated laces and light-up soles – infused with a signature bubblegum scent – the new line includes a variety of styles, designs, colours and sizes, packaged in a super sturdy and lightweight fit that’s perfect for active and playful kids. Bata Country Manager, Michael Wyatt, says: “Every pair of Bubblegummers is designed with the most advanced technology to ensure that kids can play and explore in comfort and safety in their early years. Bubblegummers is all about combining fun, form and function, and we’re confident that kids and parents alike will love the innovation and aesthetic appeal that have been incorporated into the design of this new line.” Bubblegummers footwear innovation The new Bubblegummers range of sneakers is antibacterial and breathable thanks to special Bubble Breathe technology. Bubble flex helps the shoes adapt comfortably to the energetic movements of childhood. Bubble absorption in the sole of the shoe keeps busy little feet protected, while a non-slip bubble grip supports the child’s stability as they explore the world. Bubble health keeps feet fresh and free from odour-causing bacteria, thanks to sanitised insoles. And to top it off, there’s bubble smell, with a signature Tutti Frutti bubblegum fragrance infused into every pair of Bubblegummers. The Bubblegummers range caters for girls and boys, and all shoes are designed with a child’s general developmental goals and ages in mind. Bubblegummers for infants are soft, yet offer protection from unexpected bumps, while shoes for pre-school children have an easy fit and are flexible for energetic toddlers who want to play. “Children take up to 16 000 steps every day as they play and keep active. As parents it’s our responsibility to encourage play and physical activity, which are necessary for growth. This is why the Bubblegummers range is designed to allow for flexibility and protection, with the colours and technologies that your children need to grow up healthy and happy, as they build their imagination without limits,” says Wyatt. Shop Bubblegummers at selected Edgars outlets nationwide, and Edgars online. Sizes range from toddler size 6 to 10 and kids’ size 11 to 3, for boys and girls. Follow Bubblegummers on social media: Instagram: @bubblegummers_za Facebook: Bubblegummers_ZA

April 14, 2023

All you need to know about asthma

South Africa is ranked 25th worldwide for asthma prevalence and is ranked fifth for asthma mortality. The lack of appropriate diagnosis, treatment or access to care may be important considerations in tackling asthma morbidity and mortality in South Africa.

March 8, 2023

Every day should be story day!

You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child. – Dr Seuss Wednesday 1 February is World Read Aloud Day(WRAD)! Nal’ibali, the national reading-for-enjoyment campaign, has been providing a free, special story for children to celebrate World Read Aloud Day (WRAD) for over a decade. 2023 is no different. Once again, Nal’ibali is calling on all South Africans to join them in reading aloud to the children in their lives on WRAD.. For some it will be the first, important step to habitual reading while for others it will be a continuation of their reading journey. For WRAD 2023, Nal’ibali aims to reach their goal of reading aloud to 3 million children. Young children who are read to in languages they understand, perform better in school, develop better memories, stronger vocabularies and comprehension skills. This year’s story, ‘Every day’s a story’ was written by Tumisang Shongwe (fondly known as Miss T), who is a children’s author and literacy advocate. The story is available in all eleven official languages on Nal’ibali’s website. And copies will be distributed by the field team at community outreach events throughout the country. The story is available as a PDF – you can download here

February 1, 2023

A SAFETY GUIDE TO GIVING YOUR CHILD A FIRST PHONE

Getting a first smartphone has become the major milestone of modern childhood, and many families are starting off the year with a new connected user in their midst. Children are getting phones younger than ever, and parents need to be well-prepared. Much like a teen getting their first car, the first smartphone brings greater freedom, but also more danger. Just like you wouldn’t hand over the keys to a first car without making sure your child can safely and legally drive, parents need to lay the groundwork for their child’s secure and responsible use of a device that opens up to them an infinite digital realm with an abundance of dodgy alleyways and dark corners. Safety is rooted in open parent-child communications If you haven’t yet started to have hard conversations with your child, then expect their first smartphone to be a catalyst for this change in your relationship. Their safety, as they navigate the internet and an array of digital platforms, should from now on be an open and ongoing conversation. Amongst many, and endlessly emerging topics, you’re going to need to have discussions around online pornography, depictions of violence, sexting, grooming by online predators, catfishing, cyber harassment and cyberbullying, suicide-related content, disclosure of personal information and the Law. Rachelle Best, the CEO and Founder of FYI play it safe, an AI-powered monitoring app says, “Some parents think that if they use a parental control app, they can side-step conversations with their child that they will find awkward. It’s important to realise that a parental control app is just one measure in a family’s internet security ecosystem, it can not and does not do it all. Conversations about threats, safety measures and digital behaviour should start even before the handing over of a first phone, and then continue as a norm of family conversation. Establishing a trusted practice of talking about threats, dangers and staying safe, means that when your child is facing a challenge, they will come to you to talk about how to handle the situation.” Best’s advice here underscores an important point – your goal in keeping your child safe on the internet should not be to police every site they visit or pore over every chat they have with their friends. What’s important is to help your child develop digital literacy and gain the skills they need to become responsible digital citizens capable of handling problems on their own. So, what do parents need to know and do about internet safety? Be aware – You can’t help your child navigate risks and threats that you don’t know about. Take an ongoing interest in internet safety issues and keep up to date when it comes to the latest and emerging threats. Be the trusted source of important online safety information for your child. Raise a responsible digital citizen – Your parenting extends from the real-world into the digital realm. Educate yourself about South Africa’s recently promulgated Cybercrimes Act and keep abreast of digital etiquette and required standards of behaviour. Promote your family’s digital literacy – Encourage critical thinking and the rigorous verification of sources of information. Help your children understand propaganda, disinformation, and misinformation, as well as the commercial incentives driving social media influencers and technologies enabling falsifications such as deep-fake videos. Understand the impacts of harmful content – In a significant development last year, a UK coroner’s inquest report identified that a 14-year-old UK girl’s viewing of online content via social media was a factor in her death by suicide. At the hearing, it was reported that she binge-consumed suicide and depression content, and Pinterest and Instagram were highlighted. Some of the content she engaged with wasn’t what she searched for but what algorithms served up for her. Parents need to know that social media age limits do not work, and that there is harmful content across all social media platforms, which remain unregulated. Establish and maintain a family online safety ecosystem – A parental control app should be part of an online safety ecosystem, not the be-all and end-all of keeping your children safer online. Some parents institute ‘device checks’ to periodically review their children’s online activity, however these types of inspections are time-consuming and often have a negative impact on the parent-child bond, especially for teens with their increasing needs for privacy and parental trust. In addition, many instant messaging platforms now have a ‘disappearing messages’ feature that can be enabled to protect privacy. This means that parents who inspect their children’s devices will not always see everything anyway. Advanced solutions such as the FYI play it safe app draw on AI and ML to monitor the content of children’s online activity across mobile devices in real-time, and in a non-intrusive way to provide parents with proactive alerts. Best explains, “FYI play it safe monitors all apps and online interactions, including in-game chats. New accounts and apps are included by default without the need for your child’s account credentials. Yet, the app is not spyware, and it is not clandestine. Instead, it provides parents and children with the opportunity to mutually agree on the best way to stay safe in the digital world, similar to providing your child with a helmet when they start riding a bike. Parental alerts open the door to having important conversations about the content your child is engaging with or about the chats they are having with strangers online. This is a solution that supports the goal of having open, trusting conversations about threats and dangers, and empowering your child to make responsible and smart decisions about their online activity.” Getting a first smartphone is an exciting and fun milestone for your child. There are so many benefits for a connected child, from the boost of safety in the real-world to the discovery of new information, interests and connections that can enrich their lives. Opening up communications, setting reasonable ground rules and establishing a family online safety ecosystem are the basics for your child to be able

January 23, 2023

Your child and headaches

Headaches aren’t just for adults, kids get them too. But if the sufferer is a child, the discomfort can put parents under enormous strain and anxiety. Knowing how to handle and treat a headache in a youngster can help you and your child feel better.

January 9, 2023

HOW TO HELP YOUR NON-NEUROTYPICAL CHILD THRIVE

Parents of young children often fear whether their child will “fit in”, cope in a sporting environment or achieve academically if they are non-neurotypical. These concerns are based on a societal perception that children should at least be ‘average’, even if they are not top of their class. However, an educational psychologist says this is the wrong approach to take for parents of non-neurotypical children, because it will always be possible for them to belong and fit in somewhere, even if this does not occur perfectly within society’s norms of what ‘fitting in’ means. Dr Greg Pienaar, Educational Psychologist and Principal at The Bridge Assisted Learning School, in Lonehill Sandton, notes that ‘average’ is literally defined as dividing a total by the number of quantities. “By that definition alone, no child will be average. Every child has strengths and weaknesses. That is the Neurodiverse approach, which acknowledges variations in the brain regarding learning, attention, and moods in a non-pathological sense. In other words, as Judy Singer noted, these differences are not deficits, they are variations. That does not however mean that we can’t support our children – with the help of their school, their teachers and potentially their therapists – to achieve and empower themselves to the best of their ability, says Dr Pienaar. “Most educational scientists or educational psychologists will tell you that everybody needs support somewhere. Some people less than others, some people more. Some children require assistance with academic areas. Some children require assistance with developmental deficits or with their “building blocks”. This could mean Speech or Occupational Therapy, for instance. Most professionals would agree that the earlier certain developmental issues are addressed, the better the chances are that issues may be either sorted out, or much improved.” Dr Pienaar notes that at an Assisted Learning School such as The Bridge in Lonehill, support is provided as a team of the teacher, the therapists involved, and always the parents or guardians. “It is therefore important to work together. Even if your child is receiving professional support, parents or guardians of the child have an important role to play at home. Very often (most of the time) it is vital that many of the concepts learnt during therapy are reinforced in the home environment. Regardless of the interventions and support required, by identifying what kind of support is needed, and by working together as a team, all children can rise to their potential,” Dr Pienaar says. The team of Therapists at the Bridge compiled the following helpful tips for parents: SPEECH 1. Bath Time Language Modelling: Bath time is a great opportunity to model language as the options of bath toys and sensory-integrated water play is endless. Quantity concepts: Water cups and toys are great to teach concepts of ‘more’ ‘less’ ‘heavy’ ‘light’ ‘the most’ ‘the least.’ Your child can fill up water cups with water from the bath to the desired quantity you specify to them. Remember that the modelling on the quantity is important so that they understand the concept before they are expected to demonstrate it. Oral Motor Exercises: Blowing the bubbles in the bubble bath or using toys to collect the bubbles and blow them is a great way to stimulate the oral motor muscles required for the various articulation movements. 2. Transition Games: Transition games are activities that can be done as your child transitions between places or routines. I-Spy Games: While driving to school in the morning, play a game of I-Spy with your child and ask them to name items starting with specific sounds. This targets an underlying early literacy skills or initial sound identification. Memory Games: As you walk through the grocery store with your child, play a memory game with them where they are required to recall items you put into your trolley, adding in a new item each time, and asking them to recall the list. 3. Bedtime Routine Games: Bedtime is the best time of day to include reading stimulation and book awareness. Use the method of paired reading, ask questions about the book, make predictions, point, and label items and colours, and make it fun. OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY Foundational skills such as sensory processing, body awareness, eye movements, postural stability, and proximal stability (to name a few) form the building blocks of executive functioning skills such as performing gross/fine motor movements, writing, spatial reasoning, and so forth. These foundation skills can be supported and developed by: Providing deep pressure which improves body awareness and can assist with sensory regulation. Give lots of hugs Roll your child in their towel Let your child sleep with a heavy blanket Alternate seating improves postural and proximal stability. Let your child lie on his/her tummy while playing, watching TV, or working Let your child sit on a gym ball instead of a chair Work against a wall by sticking the work on the wall, instead of working on a table Activities of daily living can help in developing good planning and organisation skills, strength and stability, bilateral coordination, and other executive functioning skills. Wash a car with your child Allow your child to lay the table for meals Baking activities Allow your child to assist with wiping windows/mirrors Assist with putting clothes on the line “These are some of the few ways you can be involved in your child’s development, to allow for regular and consistent stimulation,” says Dr Pienaar. “While it is extremely important to facilitate your child’s development through structured tasks, children should also be encouraged as much as possible to play and to explore their environment. As our world becomes more technologically inclined, children are playing less and exploring less, which results in delayed development. “If you identify areas of concern, it is important to approach a professional team as early as possible, to assist your child as soon as possible. Then, get involved in the professional support. By all role-players being involved in your child’s development, a supportive environment is created for your child to learn

December 13, 2022

Play helps children-and parents-talk about big issues

We love how children laugh while they play, and we marvel at their imagination and creativity as they have fun and make games out of whatever items they have in hand – but it’s worth remembering that play is a way to prepare children for the future, in so many ways. According to the LEGO® 2022 Play Well Study*, 90% of South African parents agree that play has an important role in children’s development. Furthermore, 95% of parents believe that play helps children learn judgement and decision making, and 96% think it helps them be able to question and make up their own minds. When it comes to skills needed for the future world of work, 88% of parents agree that play helps build resilience and emotional intelligence, while 95% agree that it helps build leadership skills and critical thinking. Importantly, 93% of parents believe that toys can help children learn about diversity, and 89% of them think that toy companies have a role in creating a tolerant society though inclusive toy. Toys can help facilitate conversations about gender and sexuality that parents might otherwise not know how to initiate or facilitate, supporting the 9 in 10 parents who believe that it’s important to discuss diversity, equity and inclusion topics. Adding even more impact to this, 98% of parents believe that playing together builds stronger family bonds. One of the reasons for this is that play helps children learn language and literacy, whether it’s through adults describing the toy or game to them, or whether it’s through listening to songs and poems. “Parents surveyed also said that playing with LEGO bricks helps develop their children’s emotional, physical, social and cognitive skills, including collaborating with others, and learning from mistakes,” says Miroslav Riha, country manager for LEGO Group in South Africa. Play also teaches children how to communicate, whether it’s through hearing stories or participating in make-believe play. This is where they learn about their role in their family and community, and how language works. “All these various learnings and skills come together to give children the language and social skills that they need to navigate the world around them – whether it’s to engage in day to day basics, or to understand more complex topics,” Riha adds. “Playing might just look like a whole lot of fun – but it’s a vital building brick in our children’s social fabric, and equips them to deal with the world that they’re growing up in. *The 2022 LEGO Play Well Study builds on the success of the 2018 and 2020 studies, which were designed to provide a bank of compelling insights and data about child, parent, and adult perceptions and behaviors on different topics. A 20 minute online quantitative survey was conducted across 35 markets between January and March 2022, asked to a total of 57,374 respondents, including 32,781 parents with children aged 1-12 years old, and 24,593 children aged 5-12.

November 3, 2022

NutriPure Vitamin Gummies – A chewy and tasty vitamin for everyone

Fruits and vegetables are powerhouses of concentrated micronutrients. Most people today are familiar with the fact that professionals recommend consuming at least five servings of vegetables or fruits per day. It is important that we recognize that dietary supplements cannot replace any balanced diet but can support and help maintain good health and general well-being. Today, more people need food supplements to support their diets and to keep their bodies in good working order. Nutripure has recognised the fact that many people don’t enjoy taking pills, so NutriPure has created delicious gummies for individuals to bridge the gap in nutrition. With NutriPure chewable gummies for adults and kids, your whole family can now enjoy taking vitamins conveniently with no pain associated with swallowing tablets or capsules. NutriPure gummies are specially formulated for adults and kids with natural pectin. NutriPure gummies help to unlock energy, support immunity, maintain overall health, and enable you to enjoy the goodness your body requires to thrive – all with just one gummy vitamin per day. NutriPure contains no added preservatives, no artificial flavours or colourants, is free of dairy, wheat, nuts, and eggs, and has no sugar coating. Kids variants are suggested for 3+ years. NutriPure for Adults NutriPure Vitamin D3 (From R 134.95) helps maintain strong bones and teeth plus is excellent for the immune system and is known to aid in the fight against viruses. Vitamin D contributes to: The normal function of the immune system The maintenance of normal bones and teeth The maintenance of normal muscle function Normal absorption/utilization of calcium and phosphorus NutriPure Apple Cider Vinegar (From R159.95) gummies contain apple cider vinegar, enriched with Vitamin C and B6. Vitamin B6 contributes to normal energy-yielding metabolism and the reduction of tiredness and fatigue. Vitamin C and B6 contribute to the normal function of the immune system. Nutritional highlights: With 500mg of Apple Cider Vinegar per serving for immune support and metabolism Vitamin C for immune health Vitamin B6 for energy-yielding metabolism Vitamin C & B6 to reduce tiredness & fatigue NutriPure Immune Support (From R134.95) has been carefully formulated with 6 essential vitamins and minerals: Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Zinc, and Selenium which all contribute to the maintenance of good health. Each NutriPure Multivitamin (From R134.95) contains a balanced dosage of 12 essential vitamins and minerals: Vitamin D, B6, B12, C, biotin, pantothenic acid, and niacin help to metabolize carbohydrates, fats, and proteins and are factors in the maintenance of good health. NutriPure for Kids NutriPure Vitamin C 60s/120s (From R 109.95) contributes to the immune system by helping to boost immunity. Vitamin C also contributes to the normal functioning of the nervous system and can reduce fatigue and exhaustion. Nutripure gummies contain 80mg of vitamin C. At any age, a balanced gut is highly important in keeping the body in healthy working order. NutriPure Probiotics (From R 164,95) is formulated with Bifidobacterium infantis & Lactobacillus rhamnosus, two scientifically tested bacteria strains. Each Nutripure gummy contains 1 billion live cultures to help your child boost their daily culture intake. Ideal to use everyday Important to take when children are on antibiotics NutriPure Immune Support + (From R 109.95) contains a unique blend of 6 essential vitamins and minerals that all contribute to the normal function of the immune system. Vitamin C, B6, and B12 help to metabolize carbohydrates, fats, and proteins and are factors in the maintenance of good health. NutriPure Vitamin D (From R109.95) helps maintain strong bones and teeth plus is excellent for the immune system and is known to aid in the fight against viruses. Vitamin D contributes to: The normal function of the immune system The maintenance of normal bones and teeth The maintenance of normal muscle function Normal absorption/utilization of calcium and phosphorus NutriPure Multivitamin (From R109.95) contributes to the function of children’s immune systems and the function of many other systems in the body. Each NutriPure Multivitamin complete contains 11 essential vitamins & minerals: vitamin D, B6, B12, C, biotin, pantothenic acid, and niacin help to metabolize carbohydrates, fats, and proteins and are factors in the maintenance of good health. Nutripure can be found at Dis-Chem, Clicks, Takealot, and other major retailers. For more information go to http://nutripure.co.za/

November 2, 2022

Drownings escalate in summer, have peace of mind by cover your pool with a PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover

Drownings in swimming pools always escalate in summer but why chance it – you probably won’t get to the pool in time? The best-selling child and pet safety cover, the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover, gives you absolute peace of mind. Easy to use, it forms a complete barrier over the pool. Also reduces power, chemical and water consumption, so you will enjoy savings as well as safety! Don’t wait until it’s too late.

October 26, 2022

Handling Childhood Illness Effectively

Most parents know that during the course of raising a child you will have to deal with different bouts of illness. Here is some information, from Bonitas Medical Fund, which should help you to manage common early childhood illnesses successfully.

October 24, 2022

PUTTING YOUR KIDS ON A PATH TO GOOD NUTRITION

For many parents, nothing is as stressful as getting your kids to eat all the food on their plate, especially when it comes to veggies. Eating a variety of healthy foods is essential for your children’s wellbeing. Here are some tips on how to get your kids to eat better.

October 17, 2022

SEXTING, PORN & PREDATORS – UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS CAN MAKE KIDS SAFER ONLINE

When it comes to keeping your children safe online, solutions such as parental controls certainly can help. However, there’s widespread agreement that parents need more than one strategy, and all online safety efforts will be more effective if they are underpinned by open communications between parent and child. It’s not hard for parents to have ongoing discussions with their child if they are about a topic like cyberbullying, which spans the physical and digital realms. However, a number of the online dangers for children and youth are far more sensitive topics for conversation that will test most parents’ levels of comfort, especially when it comes to talking about sex and pornography or suicide and suicide ideation. Rachelle Best, the CEO and Founder of FYI play it safe, an AI-powered monitoring app used by families across the world to keep kids safer online, spends a large portion of her working time engaging with parents, teachers, children and youth about the online dangers facing young internet, gaming and mobile app users. She has a wide-ranging view of how South African parents and their children are either currently tackling or avoiding difficult topics. Rachelle says, “Parents have different levels of personal comfort with certain sensitive topics that can inhibit them from starting these conversations or responding appropriately if their children initiate them. In these cases, the ‘not my child’ syndrome is commonly used to deflect from the need to have a conversation about a topic that is uncomfortable for the parent. Typically, I come across those who will insist their child is ‘too young and innocent or naïve’ to have a conversation that is related to sexting or online pornography or child grooming by predators. Others will say such conversations aren’t necessary because they trust their child to never look at sexually inappropriate content or engage with a stranger or potential predator.” Parents with ‘not my child’ syndrome’ are at risk of being blind to the ubiquity of online pornography and other content depicting overt adult sexuality. For instance, latest research shows that while 75% of parents say that they believe their child has never been exposed to pornography, while 53% of children were comfortable admitting that they have been. It’s likely many more would prefer to deny any engagement with pornography. Inappropriate online sexual content is not the only concern; children and teens are also vulnerable when it comes to stumbling across or seeking out content around suicide, suicide ideation, self-harm and violence. Furthermore, social media channels are not only online spaces where children and teens may encounter predators. They could meet potentially dangerous strangers in gaming chatrooms or on other communication app platforms as well. This ever-evolving landscape, where new apps and games are launched daily, makes it difficult for parents to keep up and keep track of all the digital spaces where their children may be active. Rachelle says, “This is why open communications forms the bedrock of child online safety. Parental controls, and advanced monitoring and alert apps such as FYI play it safe are part of the layers of security needed, but one solution alone is unlikely to prevent your child from encountering harmful content. You have a strong foundation to help keep your children safer online when you are taking an interest in your child’s digital life, talking to them openly about the risks and keeping a conversation going about how best to handle or avoid risks.” Why some parents avoid conversations about difficult topics with children Counselling Psychologist, Lekha Daya says, “There are topics that may trigger shame or a level of discomfort which a parent may not know how to tolerate, causing them to avoid a conversation. There may also be a gap in parents’ understanding of their teenager’s world because it differs so much from their own experience of youth. Some parents may feel inadequate at facilitating conversations about difficult topics and prefer just not to have them. Others may be resistant to learning about and fully understanding the online world, especially when it comes to grappling with both the positives and negatives of gaming and social media. There are parents who have an authoritarian and critical parenting style that does not create room for ease in difficult conversations. In these cases, both teens and parents go into a defensive fight or flight mode where having an honest and open conversation becomes challenging, if not impossible.” Top tips for having hard conversations with your tweens and teens Start by being aware of yourself – Reflect on your own feelings of discomfort and/or shame that might be causing resistance and avoidance when it comes to dealing with important online safety topics. It helps to be aware of your own anxiety in your body when the topic is brought up – such as a tightening in the chest, quickening of the pulse or an urge to fidget. Lekha says, “Self-awareness is a lifelong process but one that requires commitment from all parents to equip themselves in having difficult conversations. Building self-awareness for yourself as a parent and for your teen starts with understanding that your responses are often from your own childhood experiences and exposure.” Adjust your expectations – A conversation about a hard topic is a challenge, but you don’t have to be ‘perfect’. Lekha says, “Self-compassion and allowing for one’s own feelings of vulnerability is important. Know that you will not always get it ‘right’ in difficult conversations, and that’s okay. Sometimes, your teen might seem to have a knack of bringing up a difficult conversation when you feel unprepared. Sometimes, you won’t know the answers to their questions. Take the pressure off yourself to have the conversation ‘perfectly’, and forge ahead with it rather than avoid it. You don’t need to know it all, you can acknowledge what you’re not sure of or don’t know, and then open the conversation up again at a later stage when you’ve found out more. It’s important to be able

September 26, 2022

Why learning to fail sets children up for success later in life

The question of examinations and gaining or losing marks looms large at this time of year, as school students get down to the business of making the most of their academics in 2022. But what if the way we traditionally look at the role of school and learning is outdated and unnecessarily anxiety-inducing? “The common understanding that most people have about school is that it is a place where students go to learn facts and move from one grade to the next by passing examinations where they regurgitate those facts,” says Colin Northmore, Principal at Evolve Online School, a brand of ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. “However, that is an obsolete approach, given the fact that anyone can find a fact at the click of an online button. So, the role of education has evolved, and that schools must bring more to the education table than transferring facts from the teacher at the front of the class to the minds of students.” Northmore says the role of school and learning in today’s age, is about teaching children where the boundaries are – that is, the sum of what we think they need to know or be able to do, about any subject, and then expecting them to adventure beyond that. “This idea does not mean that what they learn in traditional education is not essential. This idea is more about how we teach children and what we expect them to do with what they have learned. Critically, this idea is about how we measure a child’s success.” Many schools generally do not treat failure as worth celebrating, Northmore notes. “Instead, many if not most schools interpret so-called failure as a lack of effort (sometimes correctly) or a lack of ability on the part of the child. It is a reason for punishment, and children are taught to avoid failure at all costs. This approach has often been linked in research to cheating in exams and even teenage self-harm and suicide.” In her article on toxic achievement culture, educational researcher Dr Beth Cooper Benjamin says: “If we want students to be successful in their schoolwork and tackle thorny real-world problems, then tolerating and learning from imperfection is a muscle we must help them build.” Children are better served if we teach them that failure is just the first step in a learning process. Next should come reflection, says Northmore. “We should not be giving children the correct answers, but rather teach them to ask better questions like: What did I not understand; what could I have spent more time practising; who can I ask for help with this; what could I do differently next time; and when do I have an opportunity to try again? “Therefore, an assessment system that shows students where the gaps in their knowledge or skills are, coupled with information about how often they try again after not achieving mastery; how much time they devote to improving; and if the children are addressing their gaps, provides them with the tools that they can positively and productively use when encountering problems and challenges in later life.” The biggest challenge is always the gap between theory and action, says Northmore. “So for instance, schools must consider how much opportunity is provided for ‘failing forward’ and adventure on the path towards discovery? Schools using a mastery-based approach are ideally positioned for this new age of learning, based not on memorising facts and passing rote tests and exams, but confidence-building and mastery.” With this approach, children get multiple opportunities to complete tasks and tests. And the space between their completion of a task and when they get feedback on their degree of mastery is kept as short as possible, by way of a live reporting system based on the learning goals. Children and their parents should have a live view of their areas of strength and places for development. And they should also be able to easily keep track of the pace their child is achieving in completing their work. “So as the year kicks into high gear, let us help our children to explore, investigate and learn the power of ‘I have not mastered this yet’, while giving them the space to fail with confidence and without rebuke, as we light the flame of lifelong learning in their hearts.” Learn more about Evolve Online School by clicking here. Are you ready to enrol at Evolve Online School? Apply Now!

September 22, 2022

Kaspersky shares online gaming safety tips for children

Following the recent leakage, revealing how Roblox moderates content, Kaspersky experts share insights on what cyber threats can threaten users, and especially children, in the gaming space and how to protect yourselves. The leaked documents give insight into the targeting of children by predators on the platform and how the platform attempts to fight child grooming. Additionally, one issue identified in the documents is that although Roblox’s systems scan 100 percent of submitted abuse reports, only around 10 percent of those are actionable. This suggests that even on a gaming platform, where content is moderated, there remain a large number of risks for children. Roblox is an online gaming platform that allows users to create their own game simulations and virtual locations, where they can play in different locations themselves or invite other users. There are both harmless and very popular locations, where users can choose a pet and take care of it or go through an obstacle course with their characters. The genres of such games are almost unlimited and the number of daily active users was 50 million by the end of 2021, most of which were school-aged children. However, in the game world they may also meet fraudsters, who can either be members of the selected playthrough or even be its authors. Threats from them can come both inside the game world – they often show aggression, deception or intimidation. For example, the theme of the Roblox game world might be used to create phishing resources in order to steal login and password from the account and further withdraw funds from the victim; or under the guise of in-game currency (Robux) users can be offered to register with a real name or pay for a “no-lose lottery,” participation in which will bring nothing but loss of money. “Although Roblox has a system of content moderation, you should not rely on it completely. It can be especially dangerous for school children, who due to their lack of experience may not be aware of many cybersecurity rules,” comments Andrey Sidenko, Lead web content analyst at Kaspersky. Here are a few rules to help not only protect your data, but also not to find yourself in a location that can harm you or your children psychologically: Do not share your real name, place of residence, school, or other personal information that can help attackers identify you in the real world; Only chat with those users who you know personally; do not chat with strangers in Roblox or anywhere else; Use a complex and unique password and always end the session at the end of the game, especially if you choose to connect from an unfamiliar device. Don’t forget to use two-factor authentication; Roblox is using internal content monitoring system and if you come across any unwanted ads, cheating, online grooming, different types of harassment or aggression towards you or other users you should report it to the moderators; Critically evaluate the information you encounter in the game world. Abusers may use a variety of techniques, including social engineering. For example, they may offer you a reward in the form of in-game currency (Robux) for detailed information about yourself. If someone offers you this, then in all likelihood it’s cheating, and the fraudster clearly has “own interests”; Use antivirus solutions and parental control programs to be sure that your child can use the Internet safely.

September 21, 2022

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