Child - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Language and successful learning – is it REALLY that important?

Have you ever gazed upon a giant oak tree? These majestic trees can grow as high as 21m and as wide as 3m! In fact, the tallest oak tree ever recorded was a whopping 44m high! Their branches extend for many metres, shading the earth from the hot sun in Summer and shedding their colourful leaves in the Autumn. It is interesting to note that the grandiose oak tree started life on earth as a tiny seed. The giant tap root system was the first part of the tree to emerge at germination – tiny at first, but continually expanding. It is from this giant tap root system that the magnificent oak tree receives all the water and nutrients that it needs to grow and develop to its full potential!

September 27, 2023

Getting the best from your child

Helping shape your children’s behaviour and assisting them to be the best version of themselves, is a key part of being a parent. It can be difficult as well as rewarding. Here is some things to consider:

September 26, 2023

Four short-term tips for kids, with long-term results

Teaching kids some basic financial principles should ideally form part of their upbringing. Short-term insurance is key among them, since it provides an important safety net that helps to secure your long-term well-being. It can be difficult to give up something when you do not see an immediate benefit, making short-term insurance (and most financial-must haves, for that matter) a difficult sell. But getting kids to understand it (particularly the patience it takes to stay covered), is a lesson worth learning. Here are some tips.

September 21, 2023

Helping your child deal with common childhood fears

Encountering strangers, seeing a big dog for the first time or starting school are all situations which can induce fearful responses in children. Childhood fears and anxiety are not only normal but they are expected for each developmental age. This is because any perceived “threat” activates a fight-or-flight response in the body, which naturally serves to protect us from any harm or danger. This article looks at common childhood fears for each developmental age and offers tips on how you can help your child manage during those times. Babies and infants (0-2 years old) Newborn babies and infants tend to prefer their primary caregivers over unfamiliar faces and voices. Children in this age group tend to often experience stranger and separation anxiety—they shy away from people who they do not know and may even show fear towards them. You can help your child deal with this by: Comforting and soothing them to show them that they are safe in that moment. Helping them get to know the person while you are there (this will take some time). Teaching them that separation from you is temporary (peek-a-boo is a great example). Saying goodbye to your child instead of getting away when they are distracted— this can lead to mistrust. Toddlers and pre-schoolers (3-6 years old) Children this age have developed a very active imagination and create different scenarios all the time in their busy little minds. They also may show signs of separation anxiety (“What happens to my mommy when she’s not with me?”) and refuse to be alone or sleep alone. Toddlers also worry about the dark, bad dreams, monsters and ghosts, loud noises, bad guys and bugs or animals. Children this age also struggle when there are sudden and disruptive changes to their routine. You can help your child cope by: Listening to what they are scared of and helping them put their fear into words or through drawing. Helping your child face their fears (e.g., shop for a nightlight together or make a bottle of “monster spray”). Reassuring your child of real-life facts (e.g., there are policemen who protect us from bad guys). Positively reinforcing the bravery that they manage to show. Middle childhood (6-9 years old) School-going children often worry about this new experience—“What will it be like?”. For the first time they are put into a situation where they will have to navigate new experiences without you by their side. They are exposed to the “bigger, real” world and may worry about their teachers, them getting sick or hurt or traumatic situations they hear about. You can help your child cope by: Encouraging your child to talk about what they are thinking or feeling. Playing it out with them or reading stories with themes of risk and fear to normalise their feelings. Watching your child grow is often filled with moments of joy and celebration. Usually parents focus on physical milestones, such as rolling over, crawling and using the potty independently, which are important indicators of development. However, developing these abilities can also come with psycho-social and emotional challenges for children. child development By Reabetsoe Buys 44 Showing your child that they have the capacity to cope (by using examples of when they have shown this). Reassuring them to talk to a teacher if anything bothers them while they are at school. Pre-teens (10-12 years old) While children this age have pretty much figured out that monsters aren’t real, they tend to worry about things which can happen in real life. This includes being in danger, being caught in natural disasters or something bad happening to their parents. They may also worry about their school performance, fitting in with friends and their physical appearance. You can help your child cope by: Gathering facts with them—they love to learn! (e.g., the prevalence of natural disasters in the area you live). Helping them prepare for school-related things such as tests, presentations and performances. Being aware of what they are watching and listening to—is it appropriate? What is it exposing them to? Encouraging them to externalise their thoughts and feelings through writing, music or movement. Adolescence (13 years old+) Typically, teenagers become more peer-oriented. Therefore their concerns tend to be around peer perceptions, as well as their relationships with friends and romantic interests. They may also start to worry about “growing up”, global issues, their health and well-being, and their life purpose as an adult. You can help your child cope by: Encouraging them to talk about the challenges they are anticipating. Offering them the space to process their own thoughts and feelings (e.g., through journalling or art). Advising them that if they cannot talk to you about certain things, they should have a healthy network of people who they can talk to. Reinforcing positive behaviour, no matter how small. While some of these moments may feel challenging and overwhelming for you as a parent, remember that being consistent and open is what will allow your child to better manage with their own thoughts and feelings. They need to feel safe enough to feel what they need to feel without having to worry about upsetting you or anyone else. If your child’s worries increase in intensity, seem out of proportion to the situation or start to significantly interfere with their habits and functioning, it may help to consult with a professional who can offer guidance and support

September 21, 2023

How to Develop Early Maths Skills (Number Concept)

Learning to count from one to ten, and later to a hundred, is an important milestone in early math development. However, it is equally important for young children to learn to understand the “how many-ness” or the value that every number represents. Teachers and therapists refer to this important school readiness skill as number concept. Grade R’s typically count to a hundred, but few truly understand the quantities that different numbers describe. In other words, many children freeze when you ask: “If you have six balls and your friend has eight balls, who has more?” Children who don’t understand the value of numbers will naturally not be able to conjure up a mental image of two sets of objects (in this case, a set of six balls and a set of eight balls) and then compare the sets against each other to determine which one of the two is bigger or smaller. And, as a result, they won’t be able to add and subtract with understanding. It’s important to play games with your child on three levels if you want him to develop a clear understanding of the value of different numbers. Firstly, use body movements to demonstrate numbers. Secondly, provide many opportunities for him to use his hands to handle and count off certain numbers of objects. And thirdly, make sure to include games that encourage your child to visualize different numbers of objects in his mind’s eye. You can, for instance, teach a three-year old to do the following: To include body movements, ask him to move (e.g. clap, jump or twirl) one, two or three times. To incorporate the handling of objects using his hands, you can ask him to hand you one, two or three of something whenever the opportunity pops up. To involve the mind’s eye, you can place a pile of single Lego blocks, 2-block-towers and 3-block-towers in a bag and then take turns with your child to use your sense of touch to find one of each number without looking. Then arrange your towers from one to three. Games should naturally become more challenging as a child grows older. However, the basic prerequisite for success remains unchanged throughout the first seven years: the more concrete (hands-on and tangible) the experience, the easier it is to learn. Children progress from concrete functioning to abstract reasoning as they enter primary school. Children function on a concrete level up to Grade R (where they still need to touch and handle tangible objects to discover and understand ideas about those objects) before moving on to being able to fully grasp unseen ideas on an abstract level in Grade 1. Most importantly, they need time and playful practice or else they won’t grow into being comfortable in the world of representations and symbols. It’s crucial for every Grade R learner to reach the point (by the end of the year) where he or she is able to picture an image in the mind’s eye of a number line. After throwing two dice, he should be able to name the number shown on any one of them at first glance (without counting), before shifting his attention to the second dice to “count on”. In other words, if the dice landed on three and four, he could look at one and say, three”, before pointing to each of the dots on the second dice as he counts on: “four – five – six – seven … it’s seven!” (Alternatively, he could choose to start with four, and then continue with “five – six – seven” on the second dice.) He should be able to arrange the numbers 1 to 10 in order, with each of them in its proper place, based on the value that it represents. When you point to any number from 1 to 9 on the number line, he should be able to name the number that is “one bigger” or “one smaller”. As he enters Grade 1, he can learn to do this without looking. What can I expect from my child at every age along the way? Toddlers discover the meaning of “one and many” during the second year of life. Two-year olds usually learn to rote count to three and you can teach them to hand you either one or two toys. Three-year olds can be expected to count to five and they understand the concepts of one, two and three well enough to be able to hand you that many of an object. Well-developing four-year olds can be expected to rote count to 10 and count off any number of objects from 1 to 5. Most five-year olds can count to 20 and have a real understanding of numbers up to 10. Finally, a six-year old should be able to count to 100 (also in tens), count off any number of objects between 1 and 20 and arrange the numbers from 1 to 10 in order to build a number line. Learning to work with numbers is much like learning to speak a special kind of language. Learning the language of mathematics is largely about getting better at understanding the properties of numbers and recognizing relationships and patterns ever more quickly. Naturally, acquiring these skills takes time simply because learning a new language always involves building new brain wiring. Ultimately, you want your child to reach a point where navigating around in the world of numbers will become second nature to him – like a golfer’s swing. Any kind of math play is better than none, but if you want your child to benefit optimally, you’ll need to play as many age-appropriate games as possible at home from toddler stage, and repeat them often. This article is written by: The Practica Programme is a comprehensive research- and play-based home programme. This unique system has stood the test of time since 1993, and it comprises of a wooden box with specialized apparatus, parents’ guides, an advisory service and educational newsletters. From birth to 23 months of age, parents choose from a balanced selection of more than 1000 activities to develop the 14 fundamental skills age-appropriately. For children between 2 and 7 years, the 50 school readiness skills are divided into 6 groups and tackled systematically, year by year, with 10- to 20-minute games that can be adapted to a child’s level of functioning.

September 20, 2023

Preventing Dog Bites in Children

Every 3 days a child is treated for serious dog bites. In 2020, 107 children were treated for dog bites and these children were between the ages of 5 and 12 years. During this month of April ChildSafe is encouraging all parents and dog owners to be aware of the risks involved with dog bites and to learn about ways they can protect children and their families from dog bite incidents. “Dog bites often happen during everyday activities among children and seniors,” says Yolande Baker, Executive Director, ChildSafe. “Certain situations can be more conducive to the risk of a dog bite. Protect your family and yourself by being familiar with preventive measures that will minimize the risk of a dog bite.” How can you protect your family Be cautious around strange dogs. Treat your own dog with respect. Because children are the most common victims of dog bites, parents and caregivers should: NEVER leave a baby or small child alone with a dog. Be alert for potentially dangerous situations. Teach children – including toddlers – to be careful around pets. Children must learn not to approach strange dogs or try to pet dogs through fences. Teach children to ask permission from the dog’s owner before petting the dog. What’s a dog owner to do? Carefully select your pet. Puppies should not be obtained on impulse. Make sure your pet is socialized as a young puppy, so it feels at ease around people and other animals. Do not put your dog in a position where it feels threatened or teased. Be calm. Always talk in a quiet voice or whisper, no shouting. Train your dog. Basic commands help dogs understand what is expected of them and help build a bond of trust between pets and people. Walk and exercise your dog regularly to keep it healthy and provide mental stimulation. Avoid highly excitable games like wrestling or tug of war. Use a leash in public to ensure you can control your dog. Keep your dog healthy. Have your dog vaccinated against rabies and other preventable infectious diseases. Parasite control and other health care are important because how your dog feels affect how it behaves. If you have a fenced yard, make sure your gates are secure. Neuter your pet. Approximately 92% of fatal dog attacks involved male dogs, 94 percent of which were not neutered. Dog bite emergencies If you are bitten, here is a checklist of things you should do: If the dog’s owner is present, request proof of rabies vaccination, and get the owner’s name and contact information. Clean the bite wound with soap and water as soon as possible. Consult your doctor immediately or go to the emergency room if it is after office hours. Contact the dog’s veterinarian to check vaccination records. For more information on prevention of dog bites, call ChildSafe at 021 685 5208 or please visit www.childsafe.org.za

September 20, 2023

DEVELOP YOUR CHILD’S READING RETENTION SKILLS

Children read a lot more than you may think. Every subject your child studies in school requires reading comprehension and retention. Whether it is math, history or science, reading retention is critical to success. Here are some ways you can help your child grow and develop solid reading-retention skills. Start Early Remember, a child’s listening skills are years ahead of their reading skills. Beginning readers can still practice comprehension and retention skills. An easy way to do this is by inserting an extra step into an already existing nightly routine: bedtime stories. As you read your child a bedtime story, take note of some key story lines or events. When the story is over, you can ask your child, “Do you remember how Sam-I-Am finally got his friend to try green eggs and ham? Did he try them in a house? Did he try them with a mouse?” Even though your child is not reading for retention at this level, he or she is still learning to comprehend and retain ideas. Practice and Improve Like any skill, reading comprehension and retention require practice. Board games offer an opportunity for children to read instructions and rules that test their retention skills in a fun way. Try to find a game that your family has never played. Read the rules first to understand how the game works. After you grasp the rules, ask your children to read them. When they’re finished, ask them to explain the rules to you before you begin. For families with more than one child, this exercise can provide a unique perspective on how each child understands what he or she has read. One child may see the game in one light, while another will view the rules completely differently. Listening to your child explain the rules will identify comprehension strengths and challenges as you learn the new rules together. After everyone understands the rules, game on! Encourage Self-Correction When your child shows signs of confusion or frustration with a homework assignment, encourage them to reread the material before explaining the problem to you. In the interest of saving time, you may lean toward explaining the problem yourself. While this may be easier, letting your child self-correct builds their problem-solving skills. Guide your young child toward understanding the problem independently. After conquering the problem on their own, your child will have more self-confidence for the next challenge and greater pride in being able to tackle the problem independently. Reading is one of the most valuable tools in your child’s academic tool belt. Understanding and retaining the material are just as critical as the skill of reading itself. Encouraging the development of this crucial skill will set the stage for a lifetime of success. The Kumon English Programme is designed to build the critical reading skills that will help your child develop a lifelong love of reading – and a solid foundation for academic success. Building strong reading comprehension from an early age will prepare your child to advance through primary school with confidence and appreciation for learning. When you enrol in the Kumon English Programme, the Kumon Instructor will assess your child’s current reading skills and introduce the appropriate level of Kumon Reading Worksheets. This provides just the right start for building comprehension and writing skills. As each worksheet is completed, you’ll see your child building a stronger vocabulary, a more thorough understanding of the proper use of grammar, and an ability to interpret content. This, together with enjoying books from the Kumon Recommended Reading List, enhances your child’s appreciation for and understanding of the English language and helps to develop a lifelong love for reading. For more information you can visit our website on kumon.co.za This article is from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/develop-your-childs-reading-retention-skills-2/

September 19, 2023

Preventing Electrical Burns

Young children can be burnt very quickly, and this often happens when an adult is present, so it is important to be alert. An electrical burn happens when a child touches or comes into contact with an electric current. The current passes through the child’s body and can damage organs and tissues. Damage can be mild or severe – and it can even cause death. Last year, the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital alone, treated 880 children for burns, the most common (733 children) was caused by hot liquids (such as hot water, drinks and food). A large number of the cases were treated for electrical burns. During the period between January and February in 2020 there were 5 cases treated for electrical burns. In 2021, this number has doubled to 10 cases. “Recently, we have been seeing far more electrical injuries than usual. This may be related to children spending more time at home due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. These injuries often involve the hands, resulting in severe injuries with permanent loss of function. Care givers need to remain vigilant at all times”, said Gary Dos Passos, Head of Burns Unit, Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital. “Most burn injuries can be avoided. Most of the burns happen in the home, specifically the kitchen. A first step to preventing burns is to make sure that the home environment is safe. Children are not always able to know when something is dangerous, so parents can start by checking every room in the house for possible burn risks to children. Electric shocks from appliances and electrical outlets and cords can burn the skin and cause tissue and nerve damage”, said Yolande Baker, Executive Director of ChildSafe. Electricity can cause different types of skin burns, depending on which skin layers are affected. The terms doctors use to describe different types of burns are: Superficial – A superficial burn affects only the top layer of the skin. The skin is red, dry, and painful. When you press on the burn, it turns white. Partial-thickness – A partial-thickness burn affects the top 2 layers of the skin. The skin is red and can leak fluid or form blisters. Full-thickness – A full-thickness burn affects all the layers of the skin. The burn does not usually hurt, because the burned skin cannot feel anything. The skin can be white, grey, or black. Here are a few safety tips for parents and caregivers to keep all children safe from electrical burns. ALWAYS: Cover unused electrical outlets with safety covers. Unplug electrical cords that are not in use, keeping electrical cords, power plugs and electrical equipment away from children. Keep electrical appliances away from sinks and bathtubs. Turn off electrical equipment that is not being used. Teach children to stay away from electrical sub-stations, electrical wires ate ground level and electrical fencing. NEVER: Overload power points or run electrical wires under carpets. Use unsafe or illegal electrical connections. Allow children to play with power points or electrical equipment. Repair faulty plugs and frayed cords immediately. For more information on injury prevention, call ChildSafe at 021 685 5208 or please visit www.childsafe.org.za

September 19, 2023

Start the online adventure together with your child

UNICEF South Africa released a study that 70% of children surveyed use the Internet without parental consent. “The Disrupting Harm Study released in 2022 showed that 70% of children surveyed in South Africa use the Internet without parental consent and risky online behaviour can expose them to online violence, exploitation, and abuse. The online world is also increasingly intertwined with everyday life offline.” Having an open relationship with your child’s online behaviour has been identified as a core pillar to protecting them when they go online. As parents, we can monitor their activity, we do have eyes at the back of our heads. We can implement child-friendly browsers on our devices, and we can even set an alarm clock to stop their time online and set boundaries. All of these are great and should be done to protect your child when they go online. Thanks to many hours of global best practice research and 20 years of digital and parenting experience, this program was designed to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is dedicated to educating children to self-regulate, self-recognise, communicate, and educate parents on how to manage this maze of information. The parental guides have been designed in a way that makes it easy to navigate, and we’ve collated global best practices and professional advice, to give parents a concise summary of how to protect their children and keep the conversations going well into their teens. Twenty minutes a week, with your child over 5 weeks, is all it will take. If you don’t have the time Miss Nadie and Codey have dedicated jump in and out supervised online classes every day of the week, to help you out when things get busy. Can you afford not to start the conversations now, while they will still want to listen to you? Register today. https://bit.ly/3njBqid

September 18, 2023

Medicating to help with sleep – Babies & Children

As sleep consultants we come across many instances of parents medicating their children to aid sleep. Parents are often faced with this decision, desperate for the entire family to get some much-needed sleep. There are special medical cases where medication may be needed and will be prescribed by your doctor, but for the most part healthy sleep routines and habits are NOT something that should be achieved by medicating. Sleep is essentially a learned behaviour that we can teach our babies and children. What does normal sleep look like? It is important to understand what normal sleep looks like for babies and children as it gives us a better indication of what to expect and why they wake so often, even after they are no longer feeding at night. We all sleep in cycles. We move through stages of light sleep (also referred to as Rapid Eye Movement or REM) and deep sleep. For a baby, sleep cycles are around 45 minutes and it gradually gets longer as they get older. They therefore naturally have a lot more REM sleep than we do. An adult has a sleep cycle that lasts up to 1.5 hours in length. During the newborn phase babies wake in the night for nutritional purposes. Between the age of 4 – 5 months, babies can usually manage one longer sleep period at night and the need to feed gradually reduces. Unfortunately, the night waking’s do not always end when the need to feed does. Even though sleep is a natural process and is a necessity to our wellbeing, linking sleep cycles and sleeping through the night is an essential skill that babies need to be taught. Some babies manage to do so naturally, but more often they need some help to get there. Children require 11 to 12 hours of sleep a night, with age-appropriate naps during the day. There are endless health and wellness benefits of getting the sleep we need. Growing children are at a disadvantage if they do not sleep well. It has a direct influence on their health, mood, weight, concentration, stamina and learning. What influences sleep? We need to look at sleep holistically and not in isolation. Sleep is a complex function as there are so many influencing factors in our daily life. NutritionWhen Nutrition Can Influence Sleep – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) EnvironmentSetting the stage for a good night’s sleep – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) RoutineYour 7- to 11-month-old baby’s sleep routine – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) Sleep associationsUnderstanding the sleep training Process – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) Stimulation IllnessMy great sleeper is sick – Now what? – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) Trying to ‘cure’ sleepless nights by looking at sleep in isolation is treating the symptoms and not the cause. By – Dr Carla Jardine – Paediatrician All parents (including Paediatricians!) have struggled through sleepless nights with their kids. Trying to get your child to sleep through the night is one of the most exhausting phases of parenting. Many parents are tempted to try medication after endless sleep deprived nights. Unfortunately, this is never a real solution. These medications may provide a brief sense of relief when your child drifts off to sleep more easily at bedtime, but prolonged use can cause side effects and do not address the core problem…only a good routine with healthy sleep habits and sleep associations can encourage children to sleep through the night! The Common Culprits Melatonin: This is a natural hormone that is produced by the pineal gland in the brain. It controls our circadian rhythm-the natural sleep-wake cycle in our brain. When it is dark, melatonin increases, and the effect is that you feel progressively more sleepy. When it is light, melatonin decreases with the opposite effect. Some insomniacs have been found to have naturally low levels of melatonin. There are also instances when the circadian rhythm (and melatonin secretion) become disturbed, such as in shift workers, long haul flights (jet lag) and in people living in countries with extremes of either daylight hours or night hours. In these instances, a melatonin supplement is appropriate. Melatonin is a synthetic hormone and has side effects such as: headache, feelings of depression, daytime sleepiness, dizziness, stomach cramps and irritability. Melatonin has not been approved for use in children but there are certain instances where it can been used “off-label”. This is mainly in children who have ADHD or Autism. In these conditions there is often a disturbance in the sleep-wake cycle and melatonin has been of benefit. Anti-Histamines: These are medications that decrease the levels of histamine in the body. They are usually used to treat allergic conditions. The first generation of anti-histamines were found to be very sedating as a side effect. This resulted in these drugs being marketed as over the counter sleep aides. This is not however the appropriate use of these drugs, and they also have many side effects: dry mouth, drowsiness, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, restlessness, headaches, moodiness, blurred vision and confusion. Codeine: This is usually the ingredient in pain medication that causes sedation. Codeine is a weak opioid. It can be a useful pain medication and is also sometimes used in cough mixtures as it also causes cough suppression. Some of the side effects of codeine are: lightheadedness, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, shortness of breath, sedation, allergic reactions, constipation, abdominal pain or rashes. All of these common “sleep aides” have many side effects and their long term use is ill advised. Some are not tested in children at all and others should not be given to children under 2 years of age. The safest thing to do is to use medications only as prescribed by a doctor and not to improvise their use according to their sedative properties. If in doubt, always get your doctors advice! How do you teach your child to sleep? Just as we help our children master the skills of walking, talking, using manners, sharing, brushing teeth, we can teach them how to sleep well by putting down good

September 14, 2023

Why is math so difficult for some kids?

Understanding cognitive skills and math. “Math!” This four-letter word is enough to give many kids a knot in the stomach, and many parents sleepless nights in anticipation of the next school report or math test coming up. When it comes to mathematics, many parents and children feel anxious and frustrated. This is especially true when a child is struggling with math, in spite of already getting help by means of tutoring, extra math classes or math programs. For many parents, and similar for their children, their math anxiety began with timed math tests in primary school. They knew the answers, but their brains froze when up when working against the clock. For others, not understanding the why behind a math formula was confusing. Unfortunately, children who experience math anxiety often grow up without ever understanding the reason for their math struggles and carry math anxiety with them for the rest of their lives. As a parent, they feel helpless when their child brings home math homework. Some may become teachers who feel powerless when their students don’t understand math or label themselves as not being a math person. Their math anxiety and frustration gets passed on to the children, and the cycle unfortunately continues. Math anxiety is very real, are extremely debilitating, and have been studied for decades. Yet it persists. But why is math so difficult for some kids?! The answer to this question usually lies within the strengths and weaknesses in our individual cognitive profiles. Each of us have strong and weaker cognitive skills – those underlying brain skills essential for learning, reading, reasoning, attention, and yes – math. And when it comes to math (and learning), having strong cognitive skills is a prerequisite for learning math. If one or a combination of skills like selective, sustained and divided attention; visual processing; visual, sequential and working memory; long term memory, deductive and inductive reasoning are weak, they must be strengthened first, before a child will be able to understand and apply math. So let’s explore the connection between cognitive skills and math. As the foundation for learning, cognitive skills are essential across any curriculum, including math What, then, are the important underlying cognitive processes that support or impair our learning of math? According to scientific and educational researchers, math skills can be grouped into the following categories: SPATIAL REPRESENTATION The relationship of math success to visual-spatial abilities is strongly supported by research, and the correlation appears to increase as the complexity of the math task increases. The important aspect of visual-spatial processing is not just remembering the shape, size, colour and number of objects, but their relationship to each other in space. It turns out that visual memory by itself (what things are) is somewhat error-prone, but spatial memory (where things are) is associated with correct answers, and is thus an important aspect of mathematical problem solving. Within visual-spatial processing, we can distinguish cognitive skills such as the following: Spatial Memory: This refers to our ability to remember where we are in space and where we are related to other objects in space. This understanding provides the foundation on which problems (changes in the space) can be solved. Visualization: Our ability to visualize a problem we need to solve or to visualize alternative solutions contributes substantially to our understanding of the problem. When we learn transformations in geometry, for example, interpreting the difference between a translation (sliding an object along a straight line), a rotation (turning an object around a point) and a reflection (mirror image) is greatly aided by our visualization skills. Directionality: The ability to distinguish between left and right, of course, is more than just about math. It comes in handy when tying shoe laces, reading a map, and in playing sport. Here’s an example of how we use directionality – imagine someone hands you a map with a route marked out on it. Do you have to keep turning the map around to figure out what direction to turn next? If so, your directionality skills are not as strong as they might be. COUNTING AND OPERATIONS When it comes to counting and numerical operations, we are again dependent for math success on some foundational cognitive skills, such as sequential processing and selective attention, and on executive functions (the directive capacities of our minds) such as Working Memory: Working Memory: Working Memory is to our ability to hold information in our minds while we manipulate it. Working memory capacity is highly correlated with reading comprehension, with math performance, and with many other academic and non-academic outcomes. Working Memory serves math processes from the very simple (for example, keeping track of which oranges in the basket we’ve counted and which we haven’t) to the most complex reasoning and mental simulations we perform when calculating statistics or contemplating string theory or manipulating derivatives in calculus. Sequential Processing: Counting is all about sequences, so once again, cognitive skills contribute crucially at even the most elementary stages of math. As we start to manipulate and calculate, the sequence of steps to solve a problem must be observed. A concrete example is the concept of order of operations and the different result that comes from (7 + 4) x 3 and from 7 + (4 x 3). Selective Attention: When we have good selective attention skills, it’s easier for us to screen out the irrelevant parts of a complex problem and isolate the relevant facts that we need to concentrate on. For example – if Susan, who is wearing a red dress, is 2 years older than Ben, who is wearing a blue shirt and jeans and just celebrated his 12th birthday, we don’t need to know the colour of their clothes to determine how hold Susan is. LOGICAL PROBLEM SOLVING Undoubtedly, math is problem-solving. There are of course other types of problem-solving, but problems with numbers almost always call for mathematical thinking and logic to be applied. Above, we have already highlighted some of the cognitive skills we use for problem-solving,

September 14, 2023

Are you functioning on autopilot?

They say half of the time we function on autopilot whilst 90% of our purchasing decisions are done on autopilot. In other words we are not consciously thinking about what we are doing or why we are doing those things. They have become habitual. For example: Think about when you brush your teeth or your morning routine each day when you wake up. The route you drive to or from home and work each day. Have there been times when you can’t remember how you got to a place or walked into a room and forgot what you were going to do? This is because we are not consciously thinking about our actions and thoughts – we are on autopilot. This happens daily with tasks we perform, the way we interact with others, our reactions, our behaviours, things we hold onto from the past and even some of our beliefs. It has become so ingrained in us over the years that we have not stopped to consider whether those things are still relevant, serve us positively or whether there is possibly something new or different we could consider instead. We lose out on so much as we are unaware of what is going on around us. We miss the signs and messages – both verbal and non-verbal. A wounded glance, reactive tone of voice, hurt eyes, dejected or closed off body language. We even miss the beauty in everything due to our presence being elsewhere instead of enjoying the moment for what it is – the here and now. Living mindfully present is important to the quality of the lives we live. Being mindful of our own thoughts, actions and behaviours and the impact they have on others around us. Being fully present in the moment and giving others our undivided attention and efforts is a gift. So how do we become more mindful? It’s a daily practice that takes time to master and should be viewed as learning a new skill just the same as learning to read or write. It starts with becoming aware of our own ‘self’ – how we talk to ourselves, the words we use, the language we speak. Often we are our own worst critic and berate ourselves harshly. The more we tell ourselves stories, the stronger they become until they take on a life of their own and become the path we live by. When our self awareness grows, we become aware of our own thoughts and behaviours as well as the impact we are having on others and they are having on us. In other words we are fully present in the moment and aware of what we are doing as well as of what is happening around us. We can sense when we are not being authentic and sincere just as much as we can sense when others are not. Yet often we choose to ignore this. We know when we are being true to ourselves and living our truth vs. compromising our own values and personal boundaries and the consequences that come with this. Some like to mediate, others like to unwind in the mountains or near the sea whilst some like to partake in an activity – each with the purpose of connecting us to ourselves, feeding our soul and feeling alive, like we have a purpose. It does not matter what you do so long as you do it. With a heightened sense of awareness, we are able to be more creative, positive, solution oriented, peace loving and kind for the benefit of all and mankind. Reflection time: Can you think of words or phrases you often use when speaking to or about yourself? Are they positive and uplifting or critical and faultfinding? Can you remember a situation where you may not have been fully present and aware of your actions? If you think back to that time now, can you see the different ways your actions may have been interpreted by others? Would your actions have a positive or negative impact on others? Is there one thing you can start doing differently today to raise your levels of self awareness? Look for the good and positive in everyone and every situation because it is there if you dare to try. The intention we set for ourselves is the intention by which we live and treat others. Make yours a positive and uplifting one.

September 13, 2023

UNILEVER SA MAKES HYGIENE EDUCATION FUN AND EASY FOR SA CHILDREN WITH THE LAUNCH OF HYGIENE HEROES DIGITAL PLATFORM

Following on from its successful National Schools Hygiene Programme in partnership with the Department of Basic Education, Unilever South Africa has launched Hygiene Heroes- an online platform that teaches children handwashing, toilet hygiene and oral care through interactive activities and games. No child should ever have to miss school due to preventable illnesses, but this is often the case with South Africa’s learners. That’s why Unilever South Africa, in a bid to improve children’s hygiene habits and keep them safer from germs at home and at school, has just launched a free interactive digital platform called Hygiene Heroes. Hygiene Heroes helps children learn all about handwashing, toilet hygiene and oral hygiene through animated videos, quizzes, and interactive games. The journey begins with animated videos where colourful characters teach practical hygiene habits that children can easily understand. The real fun kicks off with the germ dodging game, where kids can compete against their friends and climb the leader board. At the end, there are interactive quizzes that allow them to test their knowledge. Parents, guardians, and caregivers with internet access can sign up for free to the platform, play the games with their children and witness as they learn good hygiene habits and bring them into their homes and schools. Hygiene Heroes will give parents and guardians an opportunity to spend quality time with their children engaged in a fun, learning activity that encourages good hygiene habits that keep the whole family healthier so they can continue to go about their daily lives without the stress and financial strain of family illness. When parents sign up to the platform, their children will join over 6.2 million learners who have already gained the same hygiene education through the National Schools Hygiene Programme – presented by Unilever SA and the Department of Basic Education. Unilever’s Purpose Strategy and Partnerships Lead, Queen Mgobhozi said; “The launch of Hygiene Heroes is particularly vital in this post pandemic era where we have seen a dip in awareness about good hygiene habits due to the lessened risk of contracting Covid 19; while the risk of other deadly infectious diseases that keep children from crucial learning remains. We believe that the launch of this fun learning platform can contribute to filling this gap by ensuring continual reinforcement of good hygiene habits using an always on educational and interactive digital platform.” Issues such as post-Covid hygiene fatigue and lack of access to sanitation and water continue to affect the health and wellbeing of South Africa’s children, which often translates into school absenteeism. By teaching kids basic hygiene from a young age, we can reinforce these important lessons early on and equip them with vital knowledge to protect themselves from illness-causing germs. The World Health Organisation identifies invested stakeholder collaboration such as the Unilever and Department of Basic Education’s National Schools Hygiene Programme partnership, which promotes behaviour change as a solution to preventing illness caused by germs and keeping children in school, as vital to ensuring continued access to education and optimal health. Parents, guardians, caregivers, and media can log on to Hygiene Heroes here: Register | Unilever Schools Programme Stand a chance to win exciting giveaways by visiting Unilever South Africa Homepage | Unilever and following @unileversa on Instagram, @UnileverSA on Twitter and Unilever Food Solutions SA on Facebook.

September 13, 2023

Imposing Expectations On Your Children

Many of my clients come to me complaining that their children simply do not do what they’re told, are unmanageable, and are following the ‘wrong’ path in life. What this tells me is a lot about the parent, and very little indeed about the child. We all give away through they way that we speak and the things that we focus on what is important to us. But how often do we stop to find out what is important to someone else, particularly with our children. As much as we have hopes and desires for our kids, they have these for themselves too. What we tend to do is praise and emphasise those things that they love that fit in with our own priorities for them and ignore or ridicule those that are outside of our own value system. In doing so we impose our own set of values and dreams onto our children and then wonder why they eventually rebel and become totally in-compliant. Most parents, if they took the time and care to notice, would find it easy to tell you what is important to their kids, and yet they place very little importance on this themselves. When we stop to respect our children as real, complete human beings as they are, we enter a whole new world of relationship with them. Think about it – you wouldn’t tell your friends what job they should do or who they should be friends with or what they should be eating for dinner, right? Understanding your children’s dreams, goals and priorities instead of ignoring them can actually make your parenting journey much easier. Whatever it is that you want them to do, you simply find a way to link it to what is already important to them. For example if you want your child to bath and their highest priority is to play, then instead of saying “get in the bath now”, say “it’s time to go and play in the bath – which toys would you like to bring?” Or, for example, if you want your child to eat vegetables and their highest priority is dinosaurs, then call the broccoli “dinosaur trees” or talk about which dinosaurs would have eaten each part of the meal that is currently on their plate. If you want your soccer star to focus more on maths, point out how by learning maths he will have an advantage over the other players by understanding how to score goals by focusing on the angle between himself, the ball and the net. It may take a bit of time and practice, but I guarantee that linking what your child loves to everything they need to do makes parenting easier in the long run. Children feel heard and understood and they see that you are respecting what is important to them. They see the connections between what you want them to do and what they want for themselves instead of seeing your view as an imposition. I believe that every human being, regardless of their age, should have their values and dreams respected. The sooner that parents and teachers stop imposing their views onto the children in their care and instead link their values to those of the kids, the sooner we’ll find happy children, living their dreams AND complying with their caregivers.

September 13, 2023

Hygiene Habits Made Fun with Hygiene Heroes!

What is Hygiene Heroes? No child should miss school over an illness that’s easily preventable, but unfortunately, that’s something that happens every day. Practicing good hygiene habits can ensure kids stay healthier and don’t miss out on their education. Teaching kids basic hygiene lessons is simple and fun with Hygiene Heroes! This free platform, presented by Unilever and the Dept. of Basic Education, helps children learn all about handwashing, toilet hygiene and oral care through animated videos, quizzes and interactive games. Fighting Germs the Fun Way Teach your little ones’ hygiene habits the fun way through our collection of games and activities! Their journey starts with our animated videos – where colourful characters teach practical hygiene habits that kids can easily understand. Afterwards, the Hygiene Heroes platform offers quick quizzes to test their knowledge. The real fun begins with the germ dodging game. To play, simply use the up and down arrows to collect virtual coins and avoid bumping into the evil germs that cause illnesses! As your kids keep playing and improve their skills, their scores will climb, allowing them to compete with their friends. Watch your kids climb the leader board as they learn hygiene habits. Then watch them bring those habits home and school, where they’ll fight real germs and avoid real illnesses! Win with Hygiene Heroes! Enjoying Hygiene Heroes? Show us how your child is doing! Visit Hygiene Heroes Here Share a photo of your child or children playing #HygieneHeroes & tag @unileversa for your chance to WIN R10 000 cash PLUS your share of: Unilever Product Hampers worth R1000 Grocery Vouchers worth R500 1G Data bundles

September 12, 2023

Chores And Responsibilities- Getting Your Kids To Clean

Getting children to do their chores is not about making our lives easier but it is about encouraging cooperation and responsibility. Our children were given tasks to do from when they were little. It started off with putting their toys away after playing and taking their plates and cups to the kitchen. They now make the beds, keep their rooms tidy and ensure that their clothes and bags are ready for school the next day. How do you get your children to do their part though, without putting up a fight? Here are some tips for getting your kids involved: Start early. Parents should try giving their children household responsibilities when they are young. They can begin to help you with small chores like keeping their books tidy on the shelf or putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Most toddlers love to help their parents. Parents should take advantage of this desire and give their children small and simple tasks. As children get older they should then be given more challenging tasks. Demonstrate. Children need to know exactly what’s expected of them. Therefore, it is a good idea for parents to make sure their children know exactly what their chores are. Whenever you’re introducing a new task, make sure you teach your kids how to do it. Make sure you demonstrate the skills you want your children to learn from packing the dishwasher to making their beds. Set up a reward chart. If parents have trouble getting their children to do their chores, a reward system can be set up to encourage cooperation. A chart can be placed in a prominent location in the home. Parents can then put a sticker on the chart for each completed chore. You can then both decide what reward they will get for doing the chores properly over a set period. Don’t repeatedly remind or nag. Parents should try to avoid falling into the trap of continually reminding and/or nagging their children to complete their chores. Instead, parents should make sure that their children are given the sole responsibility for the completion of their chores. If a child forgets or refuses to do a chore, parents should say nothing and simply apply the consequences. Don’t do the chore for your child. If parents get frustrated and give in and do their children’s chores, children learn a number of things. First of all, children learn that their parents don’t mean what they say and will not follow through. Secondly, children learn that if they hold out long enough someone will do their chores for them. Parents should simply apply whatever consequences you have decided on until the child learns to complete the task. Provide lots of praise. Parents should always provide lots of praise and encouragement when their children make an effort to do their chores. Parents should keep praising, even after their children have been consistently doing a chore well. Offer choices. Allow your kids to have a say in the tasks they’ll be responsible for. One way to do this is to make a list all of the jobs that need to be completed, and allow each child to choose two or three age-appropriate tasks. Then, on “chore day,” you can each pick one or two cards and complete those jobs. Working together, you’ll have these tasks done in no time! Don’t expect perfection. Each job should be done to the best of the child’s abilities. That doesn’t mean it will be done the way mom would do it. Remember, the goal is to get them to participate. Help them feel good about their efforts. Gradually Increase Your Kids’ Responsibilities. As your children become more skilled in completing chores around the house, mix it up by introducing new tasks. For example, once your preteen has mastered packing the dishwasher, consider whether they are ready to unpack the dishes once washed and put them away. Teaching kids about chores not only helps them in their home life, but it will also bring about positive aspects in school as well. The skills and values learned by doing chores will benefit children throughout their lives. The results may not initially be perfect but over time, you’ll begin to see that your kids are getting better and better at the skills you’re teaching them.

September 12, 2023

Bedtime – How much sleep should your child be getting?

More and more research points towards the importance of sleep for children’s health, academic performance, and behaviour. Although this may seem apparent, many of us actually do not allow our children to get the critical sleep they need to develop and function properly. It’s certainly not something we do on purpose. But with parents working long hours, packed school schedules, after-school activities, and other lifestyle factors, naps are missed, bedtimes are pushed back, mornings start earlier and nights may be anything but peaceful. Missing naps or going to bed a little late may not seem like a big deal, but it all adds up, with consequences that may last a lifetime. “Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm. It recharges your brain’s battery, increasing one’s brainpower and attention span, as well as allowing you to be physically relaxed and mentally alert at the same time. Then and only then can you function at your personal best.” as stated by Paediatrician Marc Weissbluth. Signs of sleep-related problems may show up in a number of ways with kids, including daytime sleepiness, weakened immune systems, inattention, poor concentration, moodiness, behavioural problems, weight gain, irregular social skills and poor academic performance. According to Dr Avi Sadeh, a loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to the loss of two years of cognitive maturation and development. To understand the critical nature of sleep to our children’s growth and development, let’s take a look at the essentials needed for healthy sleep and what interventions we can put in place in our homes to encourage better sleep routines. Essentials of Healthy Sleep Healthy sleep allows for optimal alertness when we are awake. This is the state in which we are most receptive to and interactive with our environment – when our attention span is at its best and the most learning can occur. You can see this in a child who is calm and attentive, pleasant, wide eyed, absorbing everything, and socially interacts with ease. Altered states of alertness interfere with a child’s learning and behaviour. Healthy sleep thus requires: Sufficient amounts of sleep to grow, develop, and function optimally. How much is right for your child varies by age. Uninterrupted (good quality) sleep allows good growth and development of the body’s nervous system. The proper number of age-appropriate naps optimize alertness, learning and development. Naps serve a different purpose to that of night time sleep, but are as important. Thus timing is essential, making sure they are planned and in sync with your child’s natural biological rhythms. A sleep schedule that is in sync with the child’s natural biological rhythms(internal clock or circadian rhythm). This allows for effective restoration and long term memory development, but being out of sync can lead to difficulty falling asleep or simply staying awake. Children then become overly tired and stressed. So it is important your child’s sleep needs are met and that you adjust your schedule to be in sync with theirs. If, over time, any of these essentials are not optimal, symptoms of sleep deprivation and fatigue may occur. How can we help our kids get the proper amount of sleep? Limit bedtime activities- a routine of relaxing activities like reading or listening to classical music can help most children sleep better. Make sure all electronics are removed to avoid further stimulation. Establish a sleep schedule- similar to routine activities, experts recommend consistent times to go to sleep and wake, ideally not differing much during the week or on weekends. Create a Conducive Environment- children will sleep faster and deeper when the room is dark, quiet and cool. Promote Regular Exercise- A minimum of 60 minutes of physical activity for children each day can yield many benefits, including better sleep. Limit Caffeine- it’s advisable to limit all forms of caffeine, particularly late in the day, which includes tea, soda and chocolate. Avoid late afternoon or Early Evening naps- later naps can result in later bedtimes and less critical sleep for older children. As parents, it is our responsibility to be sensitive to and protect our children’s sleep, just as we do their safety. We are primarily responsible for their sleep habits so it is important to start healthy ones early; it is much easier to instil good habits than correct bad ones. Thus infuse the importance of sleep with daily attention to it and you will likely have a happier, self-assured, less demanding, and more sociable child. And who knows, you might just get some more sleep yourself! Written By: Danielle Forsyth (Trinityhouse Heritage Hill, Educational Psychologist)

September 11, 2023

How to improve your Child’s Decision-Making skills

What is Decision-Making? Decision making is an invaluable skill, especially when your children start to make independent choices. It is an ability that benefits throughout their lives. More often, it will be their independent choices which will determine the course of their lives. Decision-making is about assessing all the options available, being aware of the situation within and around you. Thus, for children to become good at decision-making, they need to learn how to assess the possibilities, be self-aware about what they need, and understand the situation they are in. For many people, both young and adults making a decision is one of the hardest and complicated things in life, as it involves numerous aspects for consideration. Many times due to a lack of self-awareness, people remain confused throughout their lives and often end up making poor choices. Considering the dynamic environment of the 21st Century and exposure to technology from an early age, thus instilling the quality of making good decisions among children is imperative. Every small or big decision an individual makes has the potential to change his/her life. “Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. “- Tony Robbins (American Author, Coach, Speaker) What are the essential skills for effective decision-making? The ability to make sound decisions requires a wide variety of skills. Below are the skills that are crucial to make your child an effective Decision-maker: Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ability to think judiciously and reasonably without being affected by anything or anyone. It is an art of analyzing something with an unbiased mindset. Effective decision-making requires critical thinking over all the possible alternatives. Individuals need to analyze the cause and effect relationship to ensure that the selected alternative has minimum or no negative impacts. Critical Thinking will enable your child to make an informed decision. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is the ability to solve problems effectively. Problem-solving skills are the basis for improvement and innovation. Children need to incorporate problem-solving skills to become a good decision-maker. Problem solving also requires critical thinking, but in addition, it is also about understanding the problem. As often, the solution is hidden within the problem itself. Creativity: Creativity is all about mixing originality with uniqueness. Creative Thinking helps us to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, decisions are to be made regarding such aspects where there is no way to know which possibility or decision is the right one. Creativity will enable your child to make sound decisions in unforeseen situations. When the logical or traditional aspects do not make sense, it is the creativity of a person that comes into play. It can be an out-of-the-box idea or an unorthodox approach to seeing things from a different perspective. “Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.”- Malcolm Gladwell Logical Reasoning: Reasoning is concerned with analyzing a problem in a logical manner to draw conclusions. It helps to identify the reason behind anything and approach towards our assessment of things logically. Sound decisions are an outcome of logical reasoning. Reasoning will help your child to assess the pros and cons of the decision they intend to make. Thinking logically and reasonably ensures that foolish options are set aside straightaway during the decision-making process. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the ability to understand and influence others’ emotions. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. There are times when we have to make hard decisions. This is when emotional Intelligence plays its role. Emotional Intelligence will help your children to manage their sentiments while making harsh decisions. Time Management: Time management is the ability to prioritize activities based on the available time. There are times when the decision is required to be taken time bound as well. In such a situation, the assessment of possible options, understanding of the situation, etc. is to be done within that time frame. When a child knows how to manage his/her time, the ability to take time-bound decisions improves. How can you improve Decision-making skills? Decision-making is one of the most significant and beneficial life skills in the 21st Century. Acquiring Decision-making skills also contributes to improving a child’s leadership ability. Decisions can transform our lives beyond imagination. Therefore, you must help your child in developing decision-making skills. Encourage Decision Making: During the day to day life, you can get multiple situations when you can allow your child to make a decision. The more opportunity a child will get to make decisions; the more his/her decision-making skills will improve. Ask Questions: Talk to your children about their thought process behind making a decision. See how they are evaluating various possibilities, in case you see one or more possibility was ignored, then ask them ‘what if this happened?’ Pay attention to how they respond and guide them in those aspects where there is a need for improvement. Discuss Your Process of Decision Making: Share with your children an incident of your life where you had to make a tough decision. Explain to them what was going on in your mind, what were the different aspects you took into consideration, etc. This way, they would feel more comfortable asking you for guidance for any of their decision. Involvement: If a certain situation in your house requires a decision to be made, make your children part of the discussion. The more involved they become, the more connected they would feel with the situation, putting them in a mindset of thinking and assessing the situation. More importantly, they would also learn from you, and they might even give you some valuable points to consider. “Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” – Jun Camp The world needs proficient Decision-makers for a bright future. Developing this skill within a child from an early age is crucial for the overall development. Creating a better generation then themselves is a responsibility of each generation. And this responsibility starts with parents itself.

September 11, 2023

Supporting Your Child’s Free Play

Play skills, similar to other developmental skills, progress in complexity with time and practice. Caregiver support and their role in nurturing a child’s free play skills changes and evolves throughout the play stages. Free play allows for the development of various physical, cognitive, language and socio-emotional skills, but also contributes greatly to children’s health and well-being. Free play, with minimal adult interference, will provide them with the opportunity to work on various skills including: problem solving, creative thinking, flexible thinking, initiative and grit, self-regulation skills, working memory, sustained focus, physicality and can provide them with an opportunity to have some quiet time to soothe and calm themselves. Free play with a playmate can further see them developing various socio-emotional skills including: self-expression, negotiation, compromise, perspective taking and empathy. Important skills for the future, wouldn’t you say…? Some children are natural players, skilled at independent free play and can shift easily between free play, screens and other home activities and tasks. Other children, however, may need more support and guidance to help them to play more independently and become captains of their own play adventures. During free play a child can create, direct and adapt the play activity and play script as they engage in their play adventure. Free play is intrinsically motivated, spontaneous, not limited by a certain set of rules or directives and not necessarily reality bound. If you have a little one that requires support in developing their free play skills, have a look at some of my top tips for free play: Make free play part of your daily routine. Create a safe and calm play space, preferably screen free, that won’t interfere with the flow of their play. Don’t overwhelm with too many toys and objects. Rotate items in boxes and containers, keep a few favourites close and include open ended toys and objects, such as wooden blocks or empty boxes. After your child chooses a play prompt (or you have provided them with a few choices), allow them time and space for their idea to form. Don’t be too quick to offer your own ideas and try to limit the “adult agenda” when it comes to free play. Offer encouragement and support, but try not to ask too many questions at the start while their idea is developing. Children need a longer time to process information and for their ideas to take shape. Asking too many questions too early on may discourage them. For more tips, information and demonstrations on developing and supporting play throughout the play stages as well as other areas of child development, come join our online PlayMore platform. Visit: www.playmoreot.com or our social media platforms @playmoreot on Instagram and Playmoreot on Facebook for more information. Let’s PlayMore! Anandé from PlayMore

September 7, 2023

Help! My child has no friends

We all have a need to love and be loved. Our lives feel happier and more fulfilled when we enjoy positive human relationships. Having friends who we can laugh and cry with, be serious or a little crazy with, and with whom we can feel completely comfortable is one of the most fundamentally important needs of the human race. This is why it feels so heart-breaking when we discover that our children may be struggling to make friends at school. Cindy Glass, Co-founder and Director of afterschool remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centre says “There are a number of reasons why a child may struggle to form positive friendships – negative behavioural choices, low self-esteem, personality differences, differing belief systems and unintentionally negative body language or tone of voice. Escapism from social interactions through over-use of technology also plays a big role in this!” “We need to note that all behavioural choices are based on how we feel about ourselves as a person and the inevitable fears that dominate these beliefs. Creating meaningful personal relationships is rooted in positive self-belief. Negative, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours often repel friendships and, unfortunately, this re-enforces the feelings of unworthiness and low self-value that created the negative behaviours in the first place” Cindy goes on to say. If your child is struggling to form friendships, you may want to consider the following helpful tips: 1. Ensure that you keep the lines of non-judgemental communication open. Chat about what happens at school, openly and honestly. Emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness and self-regulation are key here! Make sure that you do not re-enforce your child’s belief that he/she is less! Focus on their strengths and what others will like about them. They may, indeed, be a little different, but never less! 2. Chat to your child’s teacher with the aim of gaining a deeper understanding of your child’s behaviours at school. 3. Friendships cannot be forced. It takes positive mind-set and behavioural changes in your child if changes are to be enjoyed at school. Teach your child to focus on his/her choices and not on the choices of others. It takes patience and time but you will be amazed at the results! 4. People enjoy the company of positive happy individuals. Teach your child the joys of uplifting others. This will change the energy that your child gives off and other children will start looking to your child for a friendship that feels good to be in. 5. Emotional intelligence’s empathy and social skills will play a vital role in changing the way your child perceives himself/herself to be. Invest in these courses! “Finally, remember that children copy your actions, not your words! Set the example of how to treat others in positive, uplifting ways. Teach your children to own who they are-mistakes and all- and to value others because they value themselves first!” Cindy concludes.

September 6, 2023

Choosing a Baby Sitter

Choosing a baby sitter for your children can be a very daunting task. You need to find someone trustworthy, who is the right fit for your children.

September 6, 2023

QUICK TIPS FOR ENGAGING THE OLDEST CHILD

When the new baby comes home, the joy and excitement can lead to the first born child (or even just older children) feeling somewhat “dethroned” and ignored. When this occurs, it is common to see changes in that child’s behaviour; they may begin to feel jealousy toward the new arrival and in some cases, may even strike out to hurt them. Others may simulate being a baby once again by crying, talking ‘baby talk,’ and even having wetting accidents. Your challenge is to find creative ways for oldest children to feel different from their siblings and to develop a sense of value to the family by implementing the following ideas: The first tip is the BIG BROTHER or BIG SISTER buttons available at most party supply stores. They were intended to make the first born child feel special when the new baby comes home, but I love the idea so much I encourage parents to use it beyond just that one special time. Find creative ways for the oldest child to assist with the new sibling, but never leave them alone with the baby. They may be able to sing to the baby, help with the bath, or be helpful in collecting items needed for the baby’s care at the moment. Carve out time to have one-on-one time alone with the other child(ren). Set up visual schedules or timers so the older child can have something to watch for to know when their special time is approaching. You may even want to consider having special toys that only come out when mom must attend to the baby. Explore holding family meetings once a week, especially if you have school age children or older. It will promote a sense of importance among all the children and will help them feel a greater sense of respect from the parent(s). The meetings can be held on the same night of the week and everyone should be included. If one person leaves the meeting, it’s over until the next meeting. Other tips for the family meeting include keeping them brief, making them fun, and being consistent, especially if some of your children are younger. It is helpful to have everyone sitting in a circle and do your best to avoid answering the door or telephone. Doing so sends a message that the family is more important than anything else. If the oldest child can write, I suggest introducing the role of THE SCRIBE, the person who serves as the meeting secretary and takes the notes of what was decided and what was said. Preserved in a tin box in my closet is a folder of meeting minutes that were taken by my oldest child throughout the years of our family meetings. The lists of rules and decisions are presented in perfect penmanship in red crayon on white-lined paper. These documents are more valuable to me than any historical parchment paper documents I could ever own. The next time you’re facing challenging behaviour, check to see if it happens to be your oldest child. Perhaps they are trying to tell you that they don’t feel so special anymore and just need some encouragement that they still matter to you.

September 5, 2023

Why offering choices is important

One of the best ways to build up a sense of independence is to make choices. When we make our own choices, we feel some sense of control. With frequent opportunities to make our own decisions we begin to think of ourselves as ‘in power’ of at least parts of our lives. The same rings true for our youngsters. Making choices is not just an essential life skill for them, but Dr Erin Leyba says it builds respect, strengthens community, invites cooperation, develops problem-solving skills and capitalises on children’s basic human need to feel in control. How do we go about creating confident decision makers? It is a question of practice makes perfect. As many skills, you do not achieve success in the first round. By including simple choices throughout the day, your toddler will learn that he can have a say in what he chooses to eat for snack time (would you like an apple or banana?) or what to wear to school (would you like to wear the green or blue sweater today?). Here are a few golden rules to consider as you work your way to a stress-free day and empower your child to make choices on the road to becoming a confident decision maker: Choices must be limited. Offering too many options may create anxiety therefore keep it simple. Certain routine tasks are tricky especially when it comes to brushing teeth. Offer them a choice of toothbrush: would you like to use the green dinosaur or your shaking Spiderman toothbrush? Strawberry flavoured or minty toothpaste today? Sometimes adults need to tell children that there is no choice. When safety or health is at risk, it is important for the adult to say, “Choosing not to brush your teeth is not an option.” Choices must be honoured. Do not offer a choice that you cannot honour. The choices must be authentic. If you offer your two children an option of two stories, inevitably, one will choose the first story and the other child will choose the second story. This is not what you need at the end of the long day. Resolve this by offering each child the choice of story on alternate nights. Avoid being too indulgent and child-centered. “Anything you want my darling” does not offer a child sufficient boundaries that they require to feel safe which in turn is essential to developing self-assurance. As parents we are exhausted at the end of the day, it might feel like you have been in a boxing ring with your toddler. Offer them choices that will make them feel empowered and make feel like their opinions and feelings are of significance. By Bonita Nel, teacher at Pecanwood College

September 5, 2023

Calming a Child with Sensory Processing Difficulties

Many people are unaware that there is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. While both may involve screaming, kicking, shouting, biting and even swearing, there are some fundamental differences. Tantrums involve a child who has been frustrated in their attempt to do or have something, they usually only occur with an audience and they’ll usually abate once the child has what they want. Meltdowns on the other hand are a reaction to feeling overloaded or overwhelmed and there is no end goal or need for an audience. Meltdowns are the most common complaint of parents who have children with sensory processing issues and can result from trips to the supermarket, parties, classrooms or even just a bumpy sock. Most often, these children have trouble transitioning from one activity to another and may meltdown every day when they have to move from playing to school or from bath-time to bedtime. Their brains are continuously receiving jumbled messages from their senses and just getting through the day can be incredibly frustrating and overwhelming. Because they are often not getting enough proprioception, they seek ways to stimulate their muscles and joints (which can be very calming for them) and so may seem to be in perpetual motion. They tend to be both under and over stimulated at the same time! Here are some tips both for avoiding the meltdowns in the first place, and for calming a child who is becoming over stimulated and ready to crack. Firstly, predictability is very important for these children. They need to know what is happening and what will happen next and need lots of warning if there will be changes in their routine and/or if they need to transition to a new activity or environment. Making a picture chart of their daily routine can be helpful with the little ones so that they know what to expect next. Consistency is important too. Being very consistent with rules and consequences and with your own reactions to things. Never ever restrict movement time as a punishment. I’m not a fan of punishment at all, as “bad behaviour” is really just a communication from a child that something is not right, but these children do need predictable and clear boundaries in order to feel safe. It is essential to keep their blood sugar levels stable. Low blood sugar levels can exacerbate the symptoms and meltdowns. High protein, high fat and low carb diets are ideal. Sugar is a no-go area. Having a sensory retreat can be very helpful for recovering from a meltdown. Have a quiet, dark area like a tent with lots of pillows, some soft music, a chew toy and maybe even a weighted blanket. When you’re out and about, make sure you have a bottle with ice cold water and a straw for them to drink from, keep a pack of chewy snacks like biltong, raisins etc, have a stress ball or Prestick or a strip of Velcro for them to play with, get them to carry a heavy backpack, and consider purchasing some soundproof headphones to block out excess noise. At home, useful aids include an indoor or outdoor trampoline, a weighted blanket, a pilates ball, a rocking chair or swing. They need safe ways to jump, kick, run, push, pull and punch. This could involve jungle gyms or pull up bars, or even just pushing a heavy bag around the house or pulling a heavy wagon on a walk (or even pushing the trolley or carrying heavy groceries at the shops). Bath time can be improved by scrubbing them with a rough brush or sponge or giving them a deep massage after the bath, having a massage jet spray in the bath, and buying them an electric toothbrush instead of the ordinary ones. At cooking time, give your sensory child something to do like heavy mixing, rolling of dough, carrying heavy pots or tenderising meat with a mallet. Helping around the house can also be very calming for them – get them to vacuum or move furniture so you can clean or to do the heavy digging in the garden. Playtime on rainy days can be supplemented with indoor obstacle courses or creating an indoor sandpit with beans or popcorn instead of sand and the usual cups, shovels, cars etc. Other calming tips can include using a special video or song to transition between two activities, placing a heating pad on the back of their neck, using lavender or chamomile essential oils dropped behind their ears, drinking chamomile tea, and even sandwiching them between two pillows and squashing them. There is some research now to suggest that kids with sensory processing issues have inflammation in the brain, which can be relieved by supplementing high doses of Omega 3’s and curcumin (the active ingredient in turmeric). A regular probiotic can also help. It is also hugely beneficial if you are calm. Doing some deep breathing when your child is losing it will ensure that you can think clearly and come up with solutions to pull them out of their meltdown instead of joining them in it! Remember that your child is not trying to be naughty or difficult, they are genuinely struggling to keep it together in the world and to feel ok in their own skin. A bit of patience, a lot of creativity, and some forethought can go a long way towards helping these kids to get through a day without a meltdown.

August 30, 2023

How can creativity benefit your kids?

There are many different reasons why kids (and adults) end up with low self-esteem and a feeling of negativity and hopelessness. One of the big ones is that technology has changed the way kids socialize and interact with each other, and this is impacting on their mental and emotional well being. While there is no one size fits all solution, we can definitely make a difference by encouraging our children to engage in more creative activities from a very early age.

August 29, 2023

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR CHILD CAN’T SOUND OUT A WORD?

“Help Mom, I am stuck on this word?” What is your first reaction, “just sound it out”. Good advice? Actually, not that good. Sounding it out is not always the best strategy for figuring out a word. Learning to read individual words is hard work and not always as easy as parents may think. There are words that a child can memorise: these are called sight words. But there are a whole lot more words that children have to decode or figure out. So what should a parent do when their child comes across a word he doesn’t know or may have seen it once or twice but has not committed to memory yet? Tell them to sound it out, NOT ALWAYS. I am not saying phonics is not useful. It is imperative that children know their letters and the sounds they make, but as a strategy or way to figure out unfamiliar words it doesn’t always work. I suggest you read on and see how many more strategies you can try use to help your child attack those tricky words. Here are some more useful word attack strategies: Picture clues – ‘look at the picture; it will help you figure out this tricky word.’ Beginning Sounds – look at the first letter together, ‘do you know that letter, do you know a word that starts with that letter, what sound does it make’? Chunking – ‘can you find a small word in this big word?’ Let’s read that small word. Cover the first part of the word, read, cover the last part of the word and read. Now put the words together and read’ Context – Use the meaning of the sentence to try figure out the unfamiliar word, e.g. “Peter is reading the ……. Answer: book”. Let your child predict or ‘guess’ the word ‘book’ based on the context of the sentence. Helpful Hint: build vocabulary to maximise this strategy. Stretching the word – ‘use your finger as you try read the word. Look at it slowly’ Rhyming – ‘this word is tricky but it does rhyme with another word on this page. Can you read this word (parent points to other rhyming word), well done, now swop the first letter and read the other word. They rhyme, well done, can you hear the rhyme.’ Go over the rhyming set together to practice. Use the squiggles around the words as clues (Literacy conventions = question mark and capital letters) e.g. if there is a question mark at the end of the sentence, the unfamiliar word could be ‘what’ ‘where’ ‘how’ ‘when’ or ‘why’; if there is a capital letter in the middle of the sentence the unfamiliar word could be a name of a person/place ) Miss it out and come back – ‘this word is tricky, leave it out for now and keep on reading. Come back to this tricky word once you have finished reading the sentence.’ Ask someone – do not let your child struggle too much, encourage him to ask for HELP if he can’t figure it out. Helpful Hint: It takes practice to use these strategies, so give help as it is required, however, instead of just giving the answer straight away model a strategy your child can use and read it together using this strategy. As children gain confidence they will use a strategy on their own next time. Keep a balance of you helping your child and your child helping himself! It needs to sense – ‘Did that sentence make sense?’ Repeat the sentence to your child using his mistake let him tell you which word doesn’t sound right. ‘As you read this time listen to your words and make sure they make sense’. Helpful Hint: this is a fairly advanced strategy, comes with lots of practice. Keep modelling it as the fluent reader. Try these out; you will be surprised as to how well they work. I call it giving your kid a READING TOOLBOX. Best thing you can do for your beginner reader. Actually it’s the second best thing, the BEST THING you can do for your beginner reader is read to/with or him every day.

August 23, 2023

Lifesaving tips every parent should know about

While most parents prefer not to think of their children in potentially life-threatening situations, being prepared and knowing how to respond appropriately in the event of an accident, injury or illness is crucial for the well-being of children. These unexpected events can also place huge financial burdens on families if they are not dealt with quickly, decisively and correctly. For this reason, Bestmed Medical Scheme has introduced Best Care, a life-saving first aid series that offers insights on how parents and caregivers can better care for their families. In this article the brand offers tips on first aid kits, CPR and Wound care in collaboration with some of SA’s best paediatricians. First aid A fully stocked first aid kit is an essential item in every home, but it’s also a good idea to create a mini first aid kit that can be carried in a handbag, diaper bag or in the car for use during an emergency while out and about or on the road to your next holiday destination. According to paediatrician, Dr Enrico Maraschin, having medical tools and medication that can be used to measure and control a temperature is vital. High fevers can be dangerous to the health and wellbeing of little ones if left unattended or not properly treated. It can result in convulsions, which is a stressful event for parents to witness and support their child through. Rehydration solutions, over-the-counter medicines to bind a runny tummy and even probiotics are good items to include in your home first aid kit for children, in case your child is exposed to a virus or bacteria that can cause diarrhoea and sometimes vomiting. Antiseptic creams, bandages to wrap wounds and a small pair of scissors to cut bandages may also come in handy in case of a fall or injury, and keep safety pins, an eye patch and adhesive dressings packed too. CPR Knowing how to resuscitate a child who is choking or having difficulty breathing is a necessary first aid skill that every parent and caregiver should possess, as it could help keep them alive until emergency services arrive. Resuscitation is necessary when a child appears unresponsive, has collapsed or is gasping for air and struggling to breathe. It’s always best, of course, to intercede and assist a child as early on as possible – always take signs of breathing difficulty seriously and don’t wait for the child to collapse before taking action. The first abbreviation to keep in mind is SSS – Safety, Shout and Stimulate. Safety: Look at the immediate environment around you and ascertain whether it’s safe to attend to the child here or if they need to be moved to safety. It might seem simple enough, but in a moment of panic it’s easy to lose sight of this very important step. Shout: Call for help from people nearby, phone the emergency services or get someone to call an ambulance for you. Stimulate: Check if the child is responsive by gently tapping their arm, stroking their face or speaking to them. If the child does not groan or move and is unresponsive, quickly move on to the ABC. ABC is a CPR abbreviation that stands for Airway, Breathe, and Circulation. Airway: Make sure the child’s head and neck are aligned and that their body is positioned in a straight position – don’t let the neck flex as this prevents air from reaching the lungs. Breathe: In the case of infants and babies, place your mouth over their nose and mouth to create a seal. For bigger babies and children, pinch the nose and place the mouth over just their mouth. Circulation: There are three steps involved in this section: Step one: Take a breath and breathe into the mouth, making sure that the chest rises. Step two: Wait for the chest to deflate to normal position Step three: Repeat the first step. You can continue this cycle five times. If the child is still not responsive, move on to chest compressions. While the technique varies between younger and older children, the gist remains the same. For infants, use two fingers or a hand circling technique to apply compressions. For older children who are above the age of one, use one or two hands curled around the other to press on to the breastbone (the same would apply for an adult). Use quick compressions, positioning yourself directly over the chest and keeping the elbows straight. “You need to do the compressions at a rate of 100 to 120 seconds. Singing a song like ‘Staying Alive’ in your head and compressing to the beat will help you to do this,” says paediatrician, Dr Kevanya Coopoo. Alternate between compressions and administering rescue breaths, and continue this until help arrives, the child is responsive, or you are too fatigued. “I always recommend that families go for basic life support courses. Have a look at the Resuscitation Council of South Africa’s website for a range of courses to choose from,” says Dr Coopoo. She adds that this ensures all members of the family are aware of safety practices and are able to help one another in a crisis. For younger children, teach them the phone numbers of emergency services so that they can call for help in an emergency. Wound care Accidents happen, and when they do, they may result in wounds that require proper care and treatment to ensure they heal well. A wound is any break in the skin or injury to the tissue. It can be open (in the case of the skin being penetrated or cut) or closed (if there’s damage to underlying tissue). “If there’s bleeding, compress the wound with a clean cloth or gauze for a few minutes until the bleeding stops. Then rinse off with clean running tap water for a few minutes. Now, clean the wound by using an alcohol-sterilised pair of tweezers to pick out any debris,” says Dr Coopoo. Dr Coopoo adds that the wound would most likely be moist at

August 17, 2023

The Importance of Play in a Child’s Development

Children are increasingly suffering from low muscle tone, low memory, poor speech, poor vocabulary, poor motor planning, and lack of proprioception or spatial awareness. Mostly because many children spend hours in front of computers, IPads, or television instead of playing. Most people are unaware of is the impact playing has on a child’s development. A child’s motor skills develop from the outside in. When babies lie on the ground and kick and punch the air, their muscles are becoming stronger. According to a recent article by Pamela Li, MS, MBA (Importance of play in Early Childhood), “an infant’s brain is equipped with an abundance of brain cell connections (synapses). Synapse overproduction allows information captured from the early years to build a foundation for the brain.” A study showed that a child’s language skills improved when a mother interacted with her baby when they started playing with toys. She would tell the child what the toy was and what it did. When the child was tested 3 months later, they had better language skills. (Newland LA, Roggman LA, Boyce LK. The development of social toy play and language in infancy.) When adults talk to them, read to them, and play with them babies’ brains are stimulated. Children need to run, climb, push, pull, cycle and jump before they can draw. This helps with Gross motor development. Children need to have strong gross motor skills before they can do small motor tasks such as drawing, cutting, and writing. They also need to play with materials like play dough, blocks, bean bags, skipping rope, monkey bars, push bikes, water, sand, and foam, to name a few. Play develops: Brain growth. Improves intelligence. Sparks creative thinking. Improves communication, vocabulary, and Language. Promotes impulse control and emotion regulation. Grow social competence and empathy. Better physical and mental health. Teach life lessons. Strengthen relationships with caretakers and peers. Play, takes so many forms, physical play (dancing, ball games, movement activities), Social play (playing with other children or adults), Constructive play (drawing, music, crafts, and building), Fantasy play (imagination, dress-up, dramatization), Games with rules (board games, Simon says, musical chairs, dominoes, etc.) Courtesy – HSE LIVE – We’re here to help. We could write and talk about this topic forever as I feel very strongly about it. Even more so being an online teacher. I try to incorporate as many games and movement activities as I can in my lessons. This also helps with children’s concentration. According to https://publications.aap.org a pediatrics article – “Playing allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity and physical, cognitive and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development. It is through play that children at a very early age engage and interact in the world around them.” So, Moms and Dads, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, the washing, and cleaning can wait for a while. Rather play with your precious little ones. They grow up too quickly. Tracey Binge – A teacher at Evolve Online School

August 14, 2023

Learning Through Play – The Benefits of S.T.E.A.M Toys

As parents, we all want our children to grow up with a lifelong love for learning and fun. One of the best ways to foster this is to encourage a child’s natural curiosity by learning through play. Science, technology, engineering, art, and mathematics (S.T.E.A.M) toys have been proven to simultaneously strengthen these skills while providing a unique opportunity to understand how all the disciplines interact and instilling a love of learning that aids in skill development, creativity and problem-solving. Child psychologists and experts agree that early childhood is the best time for children to be exposed to these concepts and that strengthening learning through play in early childhood is vital to activate their interest in these subjects by introducing these concepts from a young age. “It’s never too soon to expose young kids to S.T.E.A.M-related concepts through play,” says Catherine Jacoby, Marketing Manager at Toys R Us. “S.T.E.A.M toys are excellent tools to introduce your little one to the fundamental concepts of science, technology, engineering, art and maths and provide a variety of opportunities for hands-on learning.” She says that playing with S.T.E.A.M toys can be a great way to encourage your child’s natural curiosity. “During the formative years, the development of cognitive skills, emotional well-being, social competence and sound physical and mental health builds a strong foundation for success well into the adult years.” According to UNICEF, play is an essential strategy for learning, the early formative years really matter. “Scientific research over the past 30 years has taught us that the most important period of human development is from birth to eight years old,” comments Jacoby. “While learning takes place throughout life, early childhood learning through play is one of the most important ways in which young children gain essential knowledge and skills,” she explains. “It’s for this reason that learning opportunities that promote play, exploration, hands-on learning is at the core of a young child’s development.” Jacoby adds that S.T.E.A.M toys are designed to encourage active and interactive engagement. “They inspire children to discover more about the world and themselves about active play, which means children interact with the toys in a whole new way.” S.T.E.A.M. toys are not only fun, but they also help in four key developmental areas such as confidence, critical thinking, creativity, and collaboration. “These focused activities provide children with plenty of opportunities for creative thinking, which helps them develop skills in the areas of problem-solving, spatial reasoning, engineering concepts, and more,” she adds. She says that popular S.T.E.A.M. toys include those that allow children to: explore space, learning cause and effect, discovering the body, experiencing how nature grows and visualising complicated physics concepts.” In addition to these concepts, some of our most popular S.T.E.A.M toys include: Science: Orboot Dinos AR Globe by PlayShifu: Technology: Educational and Bilingual Laptop French/English: Engineering: Alexander Constructor Vehicles and Robots: Art: Re-Cycle-Me S.T.E.A.M Collection Science: Maths: Monopoly: For more information visit: www.toysrus.co.za

August 11, 2023

A bedtime routine for the family

My kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old and I wanted to help moms out with an idea of what your evenings could look like with a consistent routine that your children can know and become used to. By knowing what to expect, as each night is more or less the same, my kids don’t argue or negotiate what to do or not do, as we have done the routine since they were babies. We have dinner when dad gets home from work around 5:00/5:30 p.m. After dinner, we do some sort of activity, which usually lasts for 15−20 minutes. We either go outside and play, throw the ball for our dog, swing or jump on the trampoline (the kids, not us adults!). Or, on long summer days, we go for a walk around the block. After this, we go inside and all three kids jump into the bath at around 18:00/18:15 p.m. While they bath, I get their clothing ready – nappy for little one and PJs. I set up their essential-oil owl diffusers (I find this is super helpful with snotty noses and change of season as well as dry air) and take the towels back to the bathroom, while dad stands in the doorway watching them. They play and the splashing often gets a little out of hand; we wash them and then wrangle them out the bath by 18:30 p.m. We apply cream, do meds and get dressed. We then all read a story or two (sometimes three, if they get their way) on one bed. After the story, it is lights out. We all say good night and my husband often sits with the older two for a few minutes (my 4- and 6-year olds share a room, each with their own bed) and I take our 2-year old to bed. I tuck her in with her bunny and also sit with her or stand by the door for a few minutes. Most nights, all the kids are asleep by 7:00 p.m. In summer, we put the fans are on, which helps with a bit of white noise, and in winter, we have wall heaters to take the chill off the air. I dress my kids in warm fleece onesies in winter because they generally do not sleep under their blankets, and before I go to bed myself each night, I check on them and put a blanket over them, as being cold can cause early wakings with babies and children. When they were smaller they still had sleeping bags. We try keep our bedtime routine, from bath to lights out, within 30 minutes. Research shows that our body’s melatonin is at its highest point within 30 minutes of having had warm water on our bodies, and I have seen that this really does help my kids calm down and get sleepy. With only one child, you can really create a SPA type of environment with dimmed lights and calming music. But as they grow and are more mobile or when you start to have more kids in the bath-time routine, it is quite unrealistic to expect your kids to not splash and be loud at bath time. Having a consistent routine allows my children to know what is coming next and that bedtime with lights off is at the end of the routine. To summarise: WHY a bedtime routine is needed: A consistent bedtime routine is vital for good sleep health, for both children and adults. The consistency of a bedtime routine helps your baby or child prepare for sleep and to know that sleep is coming. It also helps with melatonin production. WHEN a bedtime routine should be done: If you aim for bedtime to be between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., you need to aim for 30 minutes before that. HOW a bedtime routine should be done: I love reading that “a bedtime routine should be relaxing and a SPA-like environment should be created” (at Good Night, we even used to advocate this). And yes, that is a lovely idea and would help with prepping the brain for sleep and allow your baby to feel super relaxed and calm. It could also be achievable when you have only one child, but throw three children in the bath together and the noise and atmosphere will be more like varsity-locker-room vibes than a SPA. Load shedding added to the mix can spice up your night, especially as it is getting darker earlier as winter approaches. I use a lamp to have light in the bathroom. I also need to be a little more prepared with turning our geyser on earlier so our water is warm and making sure the clothing is out so I don’t need to use my cell phone flashlight to find the PJs in the dark. But my kids are so used to load shedding that it doesn’t cause too many issues; they just know that we need to then tell and not read a story in the dark. Below are just the basic points of what a bedtime routine can look like. Bedtime routine: Bath Dress in PJs Read a story Hugs and kisses Lights off Being able to have all three of our children bath and do their bedtime routine together was what we wanted as a family, firstly to create a time of bonding and secondly for practical reasons. When my husband works late, I need to be able to independently bath and put to bed all three of my kids together and bathing and dressing them one by one is way too exhausting and drawn out. Having all three of our kids bath together works for us, even though that creates lots of noise, wet floors and chaos. We embrace the chaos and noise and allow the warm water temperature to do its work on the brain (temperature change signals the brain to release melatonin) regardless of the splashing and loud fun being had by all three children. By Megan

August 2, 2023

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