Child - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Should you be giving your child fish oil?

Fish oil is one of the most studied nutritional and health products. The main components of interest in it are the omega 3 fatty acids. The human body cannot synthesize omega 3 and so it has to be sourced from the diet. Fish is one of the best sources of omega 3. The two main biologically active ingredients in omega 3 are docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA). Sources of fish oil include the processing of oily fish such as salmon, sardines, tuna and cod. Fish oil also contains some small amounts of vitamin A. In view of all this; it is now easier to tackle the question of whether fish oil should be given routinely to children. The first question every parent should consider is whether they are giving their children adequate fish oil through the diet. This can be answered easily by assessing the number of times in a week the children eat any of the oily fishes. This has to be several times week. In the U.S, the American Heart Association recommends more than 3.5 oz. of oily fish two times per week. Since many children’s diet is a reflection of what the adults are taking, it is likely that they also get inadequate fish oil from the diet and hence supplementation is necessary. Everything in proportion The typical western world diet consists of high omega 6 fatty acids intake. These are mainly vegetable oils. High consumption of these oils has been linked with a high incidence of degenerative disorders. In an ideal situation the ratio of omega 6 and omega 3 should be about 1:1. This helps to counteract the undesirable effects of omega 6. In some cases the consumption ratio is disproportionate with omega 6 being up to 10 times more than omega 3. To bring the ratio to near normal fish oil should be given to the majority of children. The benefits of fish oil for children There are many documented benefits to giving your children Omega 3, including: Healthy brain development Improved cognitive ability Health bones and joints Good eye health Reduced hyperactivity disorders symptoms Healthy skin How much fish oil should children be given? The amount of fish oil supplementation depends on the amount of omega 3 it contains. Therefore the dosage for children is given in terms of omega 3 amounts (total DHA and EPA) and it is age dependent. Different countries also have slightly different recommendations. Below is a suggested dosage regime. 0-12 months about 0.5 grams per day 1-3 years about 0.7 grams per day 4-8 years 0.9 grams every day 9-13 years 1.2 grams each day for boys. Girls can do with 0.2 less grams than boys 14-18 years 1.6 grams daily with girls in the same age bracket needing about 1.1 per day Some countries recommend dosages in terms of mg per kg of body weight. Ascertain your country’s guideline before giving fish oil to your children. Side effects of fish oil Fish oil is generally well tolerated. However, children with known allergies to the oil or certain sea-foods should better avoid it unless your doctor says it is okay. Cod liver oil is a type of fish oil sourced from the liver of cod. It contains a lot of vitamin A and D. These vitamins are fat soluble and if taken in excess have accumulating effects in the body and they can cause serious health effects. Never exceed manufacturers’ recommended fish oil dosage. Jane Hutton is a nutritionist and health enthusiast. She also enjoys rock climbing and sailing in her free time. She’s passionate about animal rights and works for an Omega 3 brand called NothingFishy. Facebook: NothingFishy Omega3 Twitter : @nothingfishyco

March 23, 2018

What are the early signs of autism in children

Almost every mom gets herself into a twist if her baby or child is not reaching milestones according to the so called norm, wanting to know if her child is just late to reach those milestones or if there may be a more serious cause for this. While the majority of babies and children reach their milestones at the average age, there will be some babies that reach their milestones much earlier and some that just lag behind the rest. There is usually no need for alarm, they are just late bloomers and will get there in their own time. What is important to look out for is that your baby or child is developing and gaining new skills, even if they are a little slow to reach milestones. Some babies will start crawling late, or not even at all, yet start walking earlier than the norm. If your baby is making progress overall then chances are there is nothing to be concerned about. That said if you are concerned about anything it is best to take your baby for a check up since if there is any sort of developmental delay or disability it is always best to know about it as early as possible. Early diagnosis means that interventions with autism doctors and specialists can be implemented and outcomes can be improved drastically. You will also need to learn about special needs parenting and how you can help your child. Complex disorders of brain development are now classified under the broad terms of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Autism. This means that autistic disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) and Asperger syndrome all fall under the broad spectrum of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by impaired social interaction, verbal and non-verbal communication, and restricted and repetitive behavior. If your child does have autism it will make the world of difference if you can start behavioral therapy before 18 months of age. What makes this tricky is that very often the most obvious signs and symptoms of autism tend to emerge between the ages of two and three years old. According to Connecticut & Golf Coast ADHD Associates: Autism spectrum disorders are lifelong conditions with no known cure. However, children with ASD can progress developmentally and learn new skills. Some children may improve so much that they no longer meet the criteria for ASD, although milder symptoms may often persist. What are Early Signs of Autism in Children? The earliest signs of autism in children involve the absence of normal behaviors as opposed to the presence of abnormal behaviors. Since autistic babies are very often quiet and undemanding parents may think that they have an easy baby and not realize that there is a problem. It is very common for autistic babies to not respond to cuddling, not reach out to be picked up and not to make eye contact with anyone. Early signs that your baby may have autism are when your baby or toddler does not: follow objects or your movements visually, or does not visually follow where you point use gestures to communicate such as waving goodbye or pointing respond to the sound of your voice or respond to being called by name make eye contact with you reach out to you when being picked up respond to or initiate cuddling make noises to grab your attention play with other people show enjoyment or interest imitate facial expressions and gestures care or even seem to notice if you get hurt or are upset in any way The following symptoms are cause for concern, so you should take your baby to be evaluated: No big smiles or signs of happiness and enjoyment by the age of 6 months Does not interact by sharing sounds and smiles, and imitating of other facial expressions by 9 months old Your baby does not respond to his or her name by one year old Your baby does not make any noises or “baby talk” by one year old Your baby does not make any gestures such as waving, pointing. reaching or showing by one year old Your baby does not speak any words by 16 months old Your baby does not speak any meaningful two word phrases that are not imitating or repeating by two years old While some babies and toddlers just develop later than others, if you are worried about anything take your child to be checked out. It is better to be safe than sorry later on, especially since the younger the child is when autism is diagnosed the better. It is also vital as a mother or father to trust your own instincts, so get a second opinion from a child development specialist if you are not sure about a diagnosis. As children get older the signs for autism become more diversified and noticeable. Impaired social skills, non-verbal communication difficulties, inflexible behavior and speech and language difficulties are typical signs of autism.

March 22, 2018

Help! My child is struggling and it is only the beginning of the year.

The December holidays seem like a distant memory and early morning school runs, homework and sport has become the focus of thousands of families across South Africa. Teachers and learners are settled into the school routines and, as with each new year, parents have expectations and hopes of academic success. But, for some parents, hope is short-lived as they are forced to notice and acknowledge that their child is struggling despite it being so early into a new year. “Panic, frustration, blame and even anger can leave parents and learners feeling helpless or even humiliated! This should not be the case at all” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. Why not consider some of these helpful tips from Cindy to coping with a child who is struggling so early in the year. 1. Know that mistakes and challenges are inevitable. Children are not robots and neither do they enter this world with an operating-manual in their hand. Effective learning can only take place when we accept that mistakes are simply opportunities for growth. Teach this to your children! 2. Don’t panic! You cannot find effective solutions when you are focused on what could and is going ‘wrong’. Panic will add to your stress as a parent and, even more so, it will most likely be internalised by the struggling child. Remember that, despite outward appearances of negative ‘I don’t care’ attitudes, there is a child who fears failure and dreams of success! Acknowledging that there is a problem and choosing to seek positive solutions will be a far more effective approach! 3. Aim at developing a positive working relationship with the teacher. Listen to understand and focus on working as a team to find workable solutions in assisting your child. 4. Be careful of putting too much pressure on your child. This can be counter-productive and cause your child to shut down and even give up. Blaming and punishing a struggling child will only add to the child’s already diminishing self-esteem and positive results are unlikely. Children who are forced to add hours of extra study time to their already pressured programmes run the risk of becoming resentful, frustrated, exhausted and unproductive! 5. Set realistic goals and realistic learning times. Minimise distractions by agreeing to TV and cell phone downtimes. 6. Seek help in the form of extra tuition. 7. Enrol your child in a study skills course that is rooted in emotional intelligence skills. Skills in self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social interaction have been proven to increase one’s ability to learn more effectively. Cindy concludes by saying “Learning is a process. Challenges and obstacles are inevitable. Acknowledge and embrace these as you seek to sincerely praise and encourage any progress or positive work ethic. As a parent, your biggest challenge is to help your child to recognise his value and purpose as a human being!”

March 16, 2018

Parents urged to limit screen time to boost kids’ development

Technology has completely revolutionised the world. It affects just about everything we do, from paying accounts, to research and calling a taxi, right down to how we raise our children. The latter is especially important, and according to Toy Kingdom’s creative parenting expert, Nikki Bush overusing technology could be “risky” for a child’s development. She says children lose their sense of initiative and creativity when exposed to tech devices for long periods in the day and therefore encourage parents to think carefully before handing children a handheld device “just because”. “Yes, technology is part of the fabric of our lives. But we need to curb the use of tech devices in a child’s routine and find that middle ground when it comes to on-screen time. This is crucial for a child’s developmental needs,” Bush says. Bush says though some parents feel that on-screen activities act as both a babysitter and entertainer during their often-busy schedules, it could be quite detrimental. In fact, she says too much time spent watching movies on the laptop, or playing video games on the tablet stunts a child’s social skills and ability to interact with friends, family members and even their teachers. And since screen time can also be quite addictive because they stimulate the secretion of chemicals from the pleasure centre of the brain, parents are advised to limit it where applicable. “Children are increasingly viewing the world from a screen, but for personal development they need to engage with real people on real things and not just the virtual world as seen on screen. Moderation between on-screen and off-screen is so important,” she says. In this article Bush shares a few tips with parents on how not to use a tech device: The babysitter: Bush says using a tech device as a babysitter for children is a big no-no. She says children enjoy interaction with their parents, and when mom and dad are not around, an emotional void that a screen cannot fill occurs. “A laptop or cell phone is no substitute for mom and dad, children need yes or no answers and they need engagement. When side-lined by a device they don’t get the answers they need and that’s problematic for them,” she says. The disciplinarian: Developing self-regulation and self-discipline are two of life’s fundamentals, and Bush encourages parents to avoid using a handheld device or computer as an emotional crutch. “We should not be using a cell phone as the draw card to get our children to sleep, or even to eat. Often parents indicate that children can’t do anything without the device and as parents, we need to work on changing that,” Bush adds. The experience thief: Technology robs children from real life experiences essential for their development. According to Bush, children learn best through concrete learning experiences with real people and real toys in real time. “These experiences give our children those multisensory experiences of the world, and while technology has so much to offer, we need to ensure that the foundation necessary for their development is set first,” Bush says.

March 9, 2018

WHY DOES MY CHILD NOT HAVE FRIENDS?

We all have a need to love and be loved. Our lives feel happier and more fulfilled when we enjoy positive human relationships. Having friends who we can laugh and cry with, be serious or a little crazy with, and with whom we can feel completely comfortable is one of the most fundamentally important needs of the human race. This is why it feels so heart-breaking when we discover that our children may be struggling to make friends at school. Cindy Glass, Co-founder and Director of after-school remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centre says “There are a number of reasons why a child may struggle to form positive friendships – negative behavioural choices, low self-esteem, personality differences, differing belief systems and unintentionally negative body language or tone of voice. Escapism from social interactions through over-use of technology also plays a big role in this!” “We need to note that all behavioural choices are based on how we feel about ourselves as a person and the inevitable fears that dominate these beliefs. Creating meaningful personal relationships is rooted in positive self-belief. Negative, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours often repel friendships and, unfortunately, this re-enforces the feelings of unworthiness and low self-value that created the negative behaviours in the first place” Cindy goes on to say. If your child is struggling to form friendships, you may want to consider the following helpful tips: 1. Ensure that you keep the lines of non-judgemental communication open. Chat about what happens at school, openly and honestly. Emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness and self-regulation are key here! Make sure that you do not re-enforce your child’s belief that he/she is less! Focus on their strengths and what others will like about them. They may, indeed, be a little different, but never less! 2. Chat to your child’s teacher with the aim of gaining a deeper understanding of your child’s behaviours at school. 3. Friendships cannot be forced. It takes positive mind-set and behavioural changes in your child if changes are to be enjoyed at school. Teach your child to focus on his/her choices and not on the choices of others. It takes patience and time but you will be amazed at the results! 4. People enjoy the company of positive happy individuals. Teach your child the joys of uplifting others. This will change the energy that your child gives off and other children will start looking to your child for a friendship that feels good to be in. 5. Emotional intelligence’s empathy and social skills will play a vital role in changing the way your child perceives himself/herself to be. Invest in these courses! “Finally, remember that children copy your actions, not your words! Set the example of how to treat others in positive, uplifting ways. Teach your children to own who they are-mistakes and all- and to value others because they value themselves first!” Cindy concludes.

March 7, 2018

6 Tips on how to potty train your autistic child

Parenting children with autism can be very difficult because it involves dealing with many problems that wouldn’t generally come up if you had a normally developing child. One of such problems can be toilet training which can take some autistic kids longer than their siblings or friends to learn how to use the lavatory. Many parents of children with Autism become frustrated when trying to teach their toddlers to use the toilet. In general practice, the autistic child just sits in the toilet and does nothing. Diapers often get bulky and really irritating to change; and of course a child has to be potty trained in order to be able to go to school. Fortunately, there are many research studies that reveal numerous strategies that can be handy in potty training an autistic child. Remove Your Child’s Fear Around Toilet When training your child to use the toilet, it is important that you break everything in small parts. Many autistic children have lots of fear around a lavatory.This could be because they feel they might fall in the commode or it’s very loud. Therefore, it is very important to remove this fear. Give your child the understanding of what a toilet is used for, introduce its different parts in a comparatively low-pressure environment. Don’t Force Your Child When you buy a potty chair and pull-up, you want your child to start using it right away. However, this cannot be the case even with a typically developing kid. If your autistic child doesn’t feel like doing it, let it go. Give them a break and try again after one week or so. Once your child is willing to do it, you shouldn’t make them sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes as it will cause them to get tired and lose their interest to learn using the toilet. Encourage Your Child with Physical Rewards Find some rewards that your child may like the most such as their favorite cookies, food or toy. Pick anything that is small and can be kept in the bathroom in order to be accessible easily. Use these rewards to encourage your child to do their job successfully. Patience Is The Key While working on how to potty train an autistic child can be irritating, you need to have patience in order to get success. You will need to stay in the washroom for some while every time you take your autistic child there. It’s a good idea to praise your child if they are willing to stay in the washroom and sit on the commode even if they aren’t doing anything but sitting. Acknowledge Each Step Accomplished Successfully If your child accidently does something in the toilet, it’s the best time to show them where the waste is supposed to end up. After they get the idea, let them flush the toilet and use water to clean. Remember, every step accomplished gradually gets your child closer to the finish line which should be praised even if it is not accomplished in order. Train With A Routine Children with Autism tend to make a routine and stick to it for whatever tasks they do. This can help you teach your autistic child how to use the toilet. Keep a record of time and duration your toddler gets wet and take them to the toilet at those times.You can get them used to a regular routine; for example, take them to the washroom every 30 minutes. Parenting a child with Autism can feel like learning to walk upside down and backwards. Perhaps, you have been perplexed by your little one and wondered how to communicate with them well enough to help them use the toilet. Figure out what motivates your autistic child and how they learn the best and then incorporate both aspects in your approach.

March 6, 2018

Warning signs of child abuse that you need to watch out for

Having a child is one of the gifts of life that a lot of people hope to get; after all, a child can always make our day. Unfortunately, not all lives of children are perfect, and some of them fall victim to abuse. Sometimes, we encounter children every day and not know that they’re already showing signs of child abuse. If we want to help protect children and avoid cases of child abuse, we should be more aware of the signs of child abuse to watch out for, especially if you encounter children every day. Do remember however that the tips below aren’t the only signs of child abuse you should be aware of, and if you’re extremely concerned about the status of some children in your area, you may want to consult a lawyer, a police officer, or even a psychiatrist about the telling signs of child abuse you should be aware of and what course of action you should take in order to make sure children in your area are protected from child abuse. Physical Signs of Child Abuse If there are any noticeable signs of child abuse you shouldn’t ignore, it’s the physical signs on a child’s body. These are warning signs that should immediately give you a heads up that there’s something wrong with a child. Try to be on the lookout for these telling signs. A child might be abused if they have bruising, burns, or welts that can’t be explained. This is particularly if these injuries are found on the mouth, lips, or face. Check to see if there are bruising patterns that are in the shape of things you find at home that may have been used to hit them, such as wire hangers, bite marks, hairbrushes, belts, and hands. Clustered burns, welts, and bruises may indicate some form of repetitive contact with an instrument or hand. If there are places on a child’s body where they don’t normally get hurt such as the thighs, back, neck, and buttocks, then you might be looking at a victim of child abuse. Take note of abrasions and lacerations, or tears in gum tissues, lips, and eyes as these indicate injuries on the face or even force-feeding. Try to take note if a child has blood in the underwear, complaints of pain in the genitalia, or trouble walking and sitting. If a child appears to exhibit poor hygiene, poor growth in both weight and height, or the lack of appropriate dental, medical, or psychological attention, then these might also be indications of abuse. Emotional Signs of Child Abuse Unfortunately, sometimes the signs of child abuse can also manifest emotionally. Children who exhibit withdrawal, appear fearful, or even show some form of extreme behavior might be abused and don’t have an outlet to share their pain. Children that have sudden changes of behavior such as anger, hyperactivity, aggression, and hostility might indicate some sudden change in the household as well, or a sign of a traumatic experience. If children begin to exhibit changes in school performance or a reluctance to go to school or even a reluctance to go home, then perhaps there might be something wrong at home that needs looking into. A child who shows defiant and rebellious behavior such as attempts to runaway may be experiencing child abuse. This is much more so if there are visible attempts at self harm or even suicide. If a child has a loss of self-esteem or self-confidence and even withdrawal from socializing with others, or perhaps the opposite, where a child always seeks affection from others, then these might be indications of something wrong at home. Signs of Abuse From Parents Sometimes, parents themselves show that they may be abusing their children. These are also things we may need to take note of if ever we are concerned about their children. If they show little to no concern for the child or appear to be incapable of recognising emotional or physical distress from their child, then they may be neglecting them. If the child often becomes the receiving end of blame, berating and belittling, then the child may be experiencing the same at home. If they demand quite the inappropriate standards when it comes to academic or physical performance to the point of forcefully withdrawing their children from contact with others, then this can also be a telling sign of abuse. If parents have conflicting, inconsistent, or unconvincing stories about how a child’s injuries have occurred, then child abuse may have happened at home. The official website of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts also has detailed guidelines on what signs to check in terms of child abuse and neglect, and numbers you should call should you find yourself in the area. Please be in touch with your own local authorities for a good course of action should you encounter these signs in your area as well. Conclusion Life is not perfect, and it has its own ups and downs for us to appreciate and conquer. However, despite life’s own share of sad moments, children help make everything feel better thanks to the ray of hope they give when they are inquisitive, curious, and creative. Some say the children we see are the hope for the future, and sometimes it can break our hearts when we see them hurt, sometimes by the people that should care for them. The above tips could hopefully give you some warning signs of child abuse you need to watch out for in order to make sure children in your area are adequately protected. Should you encounter these signs, it’s best you contact the authorities and ask for the best course of action regarding the situation. About The Author Irene Wall has been writing about law for more than a decade. She writes pieces on various law topics that she hopes could help the common reader with their concerns. She enjoys playing basketball with her sons during her free time.

March 5, 2018

What can be done about night terrors

Night terrors can be very stressful and frightening. When a child has a night terror he/ she is so deep into the dream, he cannot hear the person trying to wake him, even though the child may look at you and seem to be awake. Often a child may cry out, ask for help, thrash, kick, and scream — but cannot be comforted. Make your child’s room safe to try to prevent him from being injured during an episode. Eliminate all sources of sleep disturbance, such as caffeine, sugar, and high-energy activities before bed. Maintain a consistent bedtime routine and wake-up time. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to help your child during the actual episode except to make sure he is safe. Just take comfort in the fact that the night terror is short-lived. If your child has night terrors, you can try to interrupt his/her sleep in order to prevent one. Here is how to do it: First, note how many minutes the night terror occurs from your child’s bedtime. Then, awaken your child 15 minutes before the expected night terror, and keep her awake and out of bed for five minutes. You may want to take your child to the bathroom to see if he/ she will urinate. Continue this routine for a week. Have you had any experience with night terrors? What helped?

March 3, 2018

The Importance of tummy time

Why is tummy time important? For strengthening the back muscles to assist later on with sitting. To strengthen the neck muscles. It is essential for the development of proper head control, as well as for the development of good postural control of the rest of the body. Helps babies learn to push up, roll over, sit up, crawl, and pull to a stand. Tummy time lays the foundation for the development of appropriate gross and fine motor coordination in childhood. When to start: You can start tummy time from birth – with your newborn lying skin to skin on your chest. From about one month old they can be placed in this position on their own and they will slowly start developing more head and neck control as well as back and shoulder stability which will eventually allow for reaching. Care should be taken when they are still young and battle with head control. No pillows should be used. It is wise to be with your baby when you place him on his tummy so that you can ensure that he does not smother. Always do this during the day when you can keep an eye on them. As his back and shoulder muscles continue to strengthen, he will begin to push up with his forearms resting on this floor. This position continues to strengthen shoulder muscles in preparation for crawling. How to do it: Let your baby lie on a firm, but soft surface, such as a soft carpet or a mattress. Generally, babies tend not to like being on their tummies, and need to have you around to distract them a little. If they fuss and cry when on their tummies, help them get used to it by putting them on your stomach either on the floor or on a reclining chair. The best distraction you have is yourself – get on the floor with them – babies love it when you are on their level. Sing them nursery rhymes, play peek-a-boo or move their favourite toy in front of them to get their eyes to track it or to get them to reach for it. Place a mirror in front of them so that they can look at themselves. Swish your baby through the air to music, supporting him with your arms and hands under his body and chest. Lie baby across a beach ball or exercise ball, or a rolled up sleeping-bag, and rock him gently to and fro and sideways: this will also stimulate his vestibular (balance) system and help him get used to being in different positions. Just remember to start with short, frequent periods in this position and your baby will slowly develop endurance and tolerance for being on their tummies.

March 2, 2018

3 Cool math apps for kids that make learning fun and exciting

I have always been interested in the educational toys and games, rather than toys and games that are mindless but fun. I am the type of mom that likes to give my daughter puzzles and books rather than Barbie Dolls. Now that my daughter recently turned 5 years old and just went back to play school to start Grade R, I am paying even more attention to anything educational that will help my daughter with her schooling in the coming years. One thing she has just started getting interested in is math. She just loves figuring out basic sums and the thing is that she hates being wrong and given her age, her attention span is not that great yet. But one thing she just loves is getting hold of my phone or ipad and being able to play a game. This can hold her attention longer than the battery can hold out! Does this sound familiar perhaps? I’ve come to realize how different life is for young kids compared to when I was growing up. Something that I have taken quite an interest in now since having children is apps. There is like an app for absolutely everything! What an incredible way to teach your child important things like math in such a fun and captivating way? Math apps will have your kids full attention learning addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Here are 3 cool math apps for kids that make learning fun and exciting: Math Racer (iOS/Android) Math Racer allows children (and parents if they wish to give it a try) to race a car as quickly and as far as they can. The faster they solve the addition problems, the quicker they will be able to unlock new race cars by collecting coins for correct answers . Of course, no racing game is complete without obstacles and this game will keep every child’s eyes glued to the screen as they try to come in first every time! Math Space (iOS/Android) Math Space is quite similar to Math Racer, but in this game children will be zooming around space as they quickly solve addition equations. They get to choose their own spaceship to fly in outer space and once they solved enough equations, they can unlock new spaceships. Math Manimals (iOS/Android) Math Manimals is a unique app that will take children from basic addition skills to more challenging division skills. Each manimal that they can use in the game is different and while they begin with Elliot, they can quickly earn points to unlock new manimals. Children will find themselves helping their manimals dodge flying objects while avoiding other obstacles on their way to the end of the game. Each of these apps by webgearing.com is available on iOS and Android for just $0.99. The beauty of getting math apps like these is that your children will not only learn much faster, but they will not even realize that they are busy learning. They will be so engrossed with playing the game and trying to reach new levels that it most likely won’t register to them that that they are busy learning. Now I have mentioned before on a number of occasions on my blog that I am not keen on giving my kids screen time on my phone or on my iPad, however when it comes to something like math apps or other educational apps I am prepared to bend the rules a bit. This means my child will cherish this screen time even more!

March 1, 2018

Playing with Purpose

Children need to play. Do you ever wonder whether your child plays too much, or maybe not enough? When your child plays is it even educational or beneficial? As experts in Early Childhood Development, we at Skidz can tell you that children learn through play and that playing is extremely beneficial for your child. According to the American Academy of Paediatrics play contributes to the physical, emotional, cognitive and social skills of your child. It also gives the parent or caregiver the time to be fully engaged with the child. There are two types of play namely structured play and unstructured play. Structured play also known as play with purpose, combines a learning objective with an enjoyable activity. This is the foundation of learning. So, if you want your child to learn some life skills, numbers and letters, sitting down with crayons, workbooks and flashcards is not going to cut it. To really engage in learning these skills should be taught through structured play. The benefits of structured play are endless, so let’s look at a few. It introduces young children to physical activity. Starting a pattern of being active and teaching body awareness. It develops motor skills and coordination. Reinforces the bond between a child and caregiver. Sharpens listening skills as they learn new vocabulary and to follow instructions. There is a whole new world to discover. Boosts self-esteem as they get praised for attempting and mastering new skills. Unstructured play, also known as free play, is not led by an adult but gives the child the freedom to decide what to do. This is beneficial for the child as they get a chance to be creative and use their imagination. It also gives them freedom to explore. At Skidz we are passionate about play as means of early childhood development. That is why we have set up the Skidz Clever Activity Boxes. Each box comes with over 100 activities as well as the equipment for each activity. Here you are given the tools needed to engage your child in structured play, with a daily curriculum. This curriculum makes it easy for a working parent or full time caregiver to spend quality time with their child while playing and having fun, without having to do a lot of preparation. The boxes start from birth up to 5 years and is not a subscription service. For more information or to order your box of fun go to http://skidz.co.za or follow us on facebook for some awesome ideas of what to do at home www.facebook.com/skidzsa

February 23, 2018

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD’S EMOTIONS?

Emotions… we all have them and there is no denying them as we are all born with them. Emotions are wonderful things to have, that is when they make us feel good. But, when they make us feel bad, they can potentially send us into a flat spin. Especially if it is your child who is feeling yukky and you have no idea what to do about it. So what are emotions and what does it mean when your child is throwing a tantrum, sulking, hitting other children, feeling sad or distressed. Emotions are the energy of feelings and feelings are based on what we think, especially about what we think about ourselves and the situations we are in. Let me explain, if you think there is something wrong with you, you will feel bad about yourself. Your actions will demonstrate how you are feeling and will be expressed from a place of anger or sadness or even depression. Another example is, if your child thinks they are not important, that you are too busy to spend any time with them. This may lead them to feel neglected or isolated which will come across again as sadness or resentment or any other kind of ‘negative’ type of emotion. The behaviour from this can manifest in a few ways. Tantrums, being ‘naughty’, ill-behaved or any kind of behaviour that is displayed to seek attention. The reason for this ‘bad behaviour’ is that children would rather get any attention, including being punished than have no attention at all. Emotions need to be viewed as a guidance system, your very own inbuilt GPS as emotion is what brings our attention to what is going on on a deeper level. A child does not have the ability or emotional literacy to express that they feeling are neglected, especially younger children, hence the reason that they demonstrate it with their emotions. However, this does not only apply to young children, but to older children and adults as well. Our emotions also cause a chemical reaction in the body. When we feel love, endorphins like serotonin and oxytocin are released into the body. These chemicals make us feel content and peaceful and happy. When we feel frustrated, resentful or fearful, cortisol and adrenaline are released into the body which makes us feel stressed, angry and aggressive. However, not only are our emotions affected by how we feel or think, they are also affected by our environment. What we eat, what is going on at school, what is going on at home, all has an affect on our emotions and ultimately our behaviour. When we eat processed food or food that contains chemicals like preservatives, colourants and artificial sweeteners, the body sees these as toxic or as poisons and tries to rid itself of it as quickly as possible. The behaviour that results from this is hyper activity, over activity or anxiety. Too much sugar has the same affect. In some cases sugar actually causes people to feel tired and lethargic. Especially when a person’s diet is not balanced and you are not getting enough protein, veg and healthy fats to balance it all out. Other chemicals that affect emotions and behaviour are the chemicals we inhale, like smoke, fumes, perfumes and household chemicals. All of these have an affect on the body’s chemical reaction which then affects emotions and energy. Other factors that affect a child’s emotions, are other people’s emotions. Emotions are incredibly contagious. If parents are stressed, worried, anxious or if they bicker and fight a lot, this will be transferred to your child and they will feel what you are feeling. This can be incredibly stressful for a child because they will have no idea what to do with it and often their behaviour once again will be affected. The same thing will happen if their teacher if stressed out or if the children in your child’s class are stressed and more so if there is bullying going on at school. I’m sure you can now appreciate why it’s so important to understand emotions so that you can help your child, and yourself, to deal with them. Unresolved emotions can cause incredible distress, anxiety and stress and the quicker you learn how to identify and ope with them, the better it is for everyone. If you want some help understanding emotions, then do join our free support group for parents and teachers on Facebook which you can find here

February 14, 2018

Back to school – here’s how to deal with 1st term jitters

Dissolve those first term jitters fast and ensure your child is emotionally ready for school and adapts well to his/her new routine with top tips by creative parenting expert in partnership with Toy Kingdom, Nikki Bush. The first bell of 2018 academic year has rung and first term jitters are still a real thing for some kids, especially those who have entered the classroom for the very first time. Bush says the change in a child’s usual environment; in this case a new school – pre-primary, primary and high school, and even moving onto the next grade mean kids find it daunting and stressful to adapt. “And parents the world over agree, when kids are fretful and uneasy, mom and dad are too,” she says. Here’s what Bush advises to help kids cope better. A movement matter: Bush says activities that involve movement are highly beneficial, it raises endorphins and puts kids in a better move. She suggests the following fun, interactive movement games: Rough and tumble Hide and seek Family time is fun time: Quality time with mom, dad also eliminate stress and is ‘”extremely important” to help kids relax. Bush says there are a few entertaining games fit for the whole family. Cricket Soccer Hopscotch “Parent-child interaction has a calming effect on kids and helps to minimise stress. It means bonding as a family, which also acts as a channel of support for children, they feel safe and secure and are reminded that mom and dad are there for them every step of the way,” Bush says. Say play: Since play is a universal language, Bush says “play your sillies away”, it has a calming effect on kids and helps to minimise stress. A few of the games she recommends. Board games Bikes and scooters Lego “Mom and dad, haul out all sorts of games and toys and let them play to their heart’s content. It does wonders,” she says. Drop-off deal: If children are more anxious with one parent than with the other, simply swap drop-off roles and “don’t feel guilty about it”. Bush advises parents to be: Flexible Adaptable

February 8, 2018

“Help, my child is behaving badly at school!”

The trouble with bringing children into the world is that they do not arrive with user manuals! How much easier would it be if we could troubleshoot in a manual and find the solution that would solve their problems with minimal mess and fuss! As parents, one of our deep-rooted fears is that our children may behave badly whilst at school, upset their teacher, classmates or, worse, the Principal (whom we have learnt to fear from our own childhood misdemeanours)! As a mom and teacher, Cindy Glass Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres can relate. She offers some advice and a new perspective to parents who are navigating the world of not-so-perfect kids. She starts out by acknowledging that negative behaviour at school can affect all who associate with the individual who has behaved badly. Parents, in particular, can feel angry, frustrated and even helpless when their child consistently chooses negative, self-harming behaviours. “It is very easy for a parent to slip into ‘reaction’ mode and punish the child in ways that they may have experienced as a child. It takes great courage, however, to choose to understand these behaviours and find positive, creative solutions,” says Cindy. She adds, “Consider this: Every choice we make, every action we take is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person! Negative behaviours at school have a solid and powerful root – FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear that the teacher will notice that he is struggling to understand the work, fear of being alone and fear of not being noticed and acknowledged. Think about it! Many children would rather get into trouble for negative behaviours than it be discovered that they are not coping with the pressures of school!” So what can you do? Cindy says that children need to understand that all actions have consequences. “Positive choices result in positive consequences and the same applies to negative choices. Being consistent in your expectations and consequences is essential.” “Fair, dependable boundaries are key to establishing a sense of stability within children. It takes courage not to shout, get excessively angry or perhaps even physically harmful toward a child who consistently misbehaves. I STRONGLY recommend that you read the book: ‘Have a new kid by Friday”, by Dr Kevin Leman. I did and it completely changed my approach to dealing with my children!” Cindy exclaims. Most of all she reminds parents that harmful words and actions destroy children and says that you should try teaching your child to value WHO HE IS and is so doing, overcome his fears. How? “Do this by choosing to value who YOU are!” says Cindy. There are no easy solutions, but with determination, patience and tons of love, you will be rewarded with more positive behaviours and it will be worth it! Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day

January 18, 2018

Handy homework hints

Homework is generally a painful process that is rarely met with excitement and anticipation. In fact, Cindy Glass, Co-Founder of Step Up Education Centres, the after-school remediation and tutoring franchise says, “In all my years teaching, I have yet to meet a parent or learner who cannot wait to do extra school work in the afternoons!” Whilst countries like Japan, the Czech Republic and Denmark assign little to no homework, South Africa doesn’t follow the same trend. “For us, homework is unavoidable, it is simply a part of our schooling system, whether we like it or not,” says Cindy. With that in mind, Cindy says that we need to not only find a way to help our children complete their homework tasks, but help them to enjoy doing it as well! She offers the following handy homework tips: Create a fun, practical workspace It is important to assign one specific area in the house to do all school tasks. By doing this you will train your brain to automatically kick into work-mode when you sit down. Have a desk and comfortable chair Have all the necessary stationary Make the space beautiful – display art or any awards/reward charts to keep your child motivated Keep it neat Switch off all distractions for the duration of the homework time Cell phones, TV, games and sometimes even music can be a distractor for both parents and learners. As a result, you both need to switch off (or place on silent) all digital devices. If you are a learner, let your friends know you will be unavailable for that period If you are a parent, switch your phone on silent as cell phone noises can be very distracting, prolonging the homework experience Be clear on what needs to be done By knowing exactly what needs to be done and by when, you will find it easier to complete the task. Use a whiteboard to list the tasks that need to be completed on that day Start with the easy tasks first as this will give your child an immediate sense of achievement For older learners who have projects or longer assignments, decide which part of each will be completed on that day, in addition to daily homework Tick off each task as you complete it Get extra help if you are stuck! For parents, ‘Google’ will tame many-a-challenge. Phone a friend if you need to. Whatever you do – do NOT behave negatively – explain to your child that there is a solution to every problem and you can work together to find it! If your child is struggling consistently, seek professional help from an after-school remediation centre. For older learners, make sure that they listen carefully in class. They need to ask their teacher if they are unsure of what is required. Remember, your child is not always going to feel okay about doing homework. Whenever this happens, Cindy suggests that you incorporate what she calls the ’10-minute rule’, “The first 10 minutes of anything is the worst. Get through those 10 minutes and you will find that the work will flow more easily and they will begin to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.”

January 18, 2018

Help your Child Play (right) to lay the Foundation for Future Academic Success

Giving their children a head start is something parents want to do. Unfortunately, the way this is done in our hyper-competitive, over structured world may in fact be working against exactly these intentions. More and more research is showing that the most critical activity for the development of little children’s brains and their social and cognitive skills, before they go to school, is good old-fashioned play. Far less is gained when little children have full schedules of structured activities, from basic maths classes to early reading, gymnastics, kiddy music and mini-soccer. “When it comes to brain development, time spent in the classroom and at other structured activities is less important than time on the playground,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. She says that research by Sergio Pellis, from the University of Lethbridge in Canada, showed that the experience of play changed the connections of the neurons in the pre-frontal section of a child’s brain, and that without play experience, those neurons remained unchanged. “Pellis found that it was those changes in the prefrontal cortex during childhood that helped wire up the brain’s executive control centre, which has a critical role in regulating emotions, making plans and solving problems. In other words, play prepares a young brain for life, love and even schoolwork,” Eaton says. But she warns parents whose children’s rooms look like toyshops that they need to get things back to basics, because the kind of play that is beneficial is primarily the kind of play that requires creativity, imagination and problem-solving. “In the pre-school phase children need basic toys, not those with roles defined by the media, as the latter limits imagination and the opportunities to plan and create. Provide the child with a good set of plain wooden bricks, a few non-battery-operated cars, a soft doll or two, a teddy, some plastic plates and cups and a big ball. “Old blankets or sheets for making houses and tents, and some boxes and crates will provide the basics for endless creative and imaginative play. Playdough, some crayons and big sheets of paper – not colouring books – as well as some paint will amply provide for creativity,” says Eaton. She says that parents need to appreciate that in allowing their children plenty of opportunities to play, with others and alone, they are laying the foundations for academic success. “Young children work hard at play, and it is not for nothing that play is considered a child’s work. They invent scenes and stories, solve problems and negotiate their way through social roadblocks. They know what they want to do and they work and plan to do it. “We as adults must not be too quick to interfere in this process, but allow them to work things out for themselves.” Parents who want to ensure their children are exposed to the right kind of free play (which ironically is also the least expensive kind) should ensure that they provide, from an early age, access to materials that will stimulate their sensory systems. These include water, sand, things that make a noise, books with pictures they can relate to and toys of different textures. “The contents of your saucepan and plastics cupboard will give hours of creative play while teaching concepts of matching, size, shape, texture and sound. Things that bounce, roll and change shape when pressed or pulled help develop spatial skills and visual acuity,” says Eaton. “Children must be free to move around once they are mobile, obviously with safety in mind, but do not fear the odd mouthful of grass or your child being dirty. Allow them to dig in the garden, pick flowers and when they are older, make mud cakes and grass ‘soup’ for their fantasy games.” The Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky found that children are able to rise above their average behaviour through play, notes Eaton. “It is through fantasy play that children make sense of their world. They must pretend and take on roles in order to understand. The more time children spend in dramatic play, the more they advance in terms of intellectual development and their ability to concentrate. “As a parent, it is best to curb the growing fashionable trend of extra murals for little children and allow uninterrupted time and space for fantasy play. Choose a pre-school that believes passionately in play based learning. This allows children to work through emotions such as anger, fear and jealousy, to become more self-disciplined, and to develop resilience. All these skills are essential to the development of individuals who can in future master academic challenges and live comfortably in their society.”

December 15, 2017

Deciding whether to keep a child back at school

Imagine that you are observing from the side of a swimming pool and are watching children learn how to swim. As you watch, you notice the different variety of abilities, confidence levels and fears that they display in the water. Some children seem to grasp these new skills with ease while others seem to struggle and need a bit of extra assistance and encouragement along the way. With a swimming gala looming ahead, the decision has to be made as to who is competent enough to compete at the next level, and who may need extra practice in mastering the skills that are needed. “In a scenario such as this one, it is without a doubt that any child who has not sufficiently mastered the skills at this level will become more fearful, less confident and progress slower if they were forced on to a more challenging level. They may even risk drowning in the process!” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. She adds that while learning to swim is not quite the same as learning to read, write and progress academically, the principal of learning any new skill is the same. “It is best to achieve sufficient mastery of each level of study before progressing to more challenging levels of learning.” Sadly, for generations, the need to repeat a school grade has been classified as a failure, leaving scores of parents and learners struggling to embrace the idea of repeating a grade to better master the necessary skills needed for the next level! “Yet, forcing a child, who is not ready, into the next grade could have a significantly negative impact on the child’s self- esteem and, worse, it could slow the learning process or even stop it altogether as the child’s struggles worsen with the pressures of the new grade!” Cindy explains. Cindy gives the following advice to parents facing the decision of whether to allow their child to repeat a grade or not: Repeating a grade is NOT a failure. It is an opportunity for a struggling learner to better master the skills he needs! If you speak of failure, your child will feel like he has, indeed, failed! Your approach to a child repeating the grade will determine your child’s reaction toward it! Discuss all available options with your child’s teachers before making a final decision. Have an open mind – remember that this is about what is best for your child. Discuss any concerns that you may have openly and honestly. Consider your child’s level of competency in the current grade. If your child is struggling significantly, he is most likely going to struggle even more so in the next grade. Consider your child’s age and physical development. Remember, always, that YOU need to decide what is BEST for your child. A child who is significantly taller or older than his upcoming classmates may feel too embarrassed for a repeat to be of any help! Make a list of all the pros and cons of your child repeating the grade or going on. Ask yourself: What is best for my child? What are the long-term benefits or harms? What would happen if I do/do not allow the repeat? “There is no denying that the decision to repeat a struggling learner is an emotionally tough one to make. Take your time and do what you feel is best for your child. Remember, how you react to the situation will set the tone for how your child responds to it!” Cindy concludes.

November 29, 2017

Practical ways to enhance emotional intelligence in children

Emotional Intelligence is like freshly-squeezed orange juice! When you squeeze an orange, you expect orange juice to flow out of it. You wouldn’t expect to find grape or peach juice inside an orange because an orange only has orange juice to give. Human behavioural choices are based on what we have inside to give – much like that orange. “What we have inside is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person. And… how we feel about ourselves as a person influences every choice we make!” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. She adds that every choice that we make defines the path of our lives! “All negative behaviours are based on fear, low self-esteem, self-defeating and destructive self-talk and low self-value. Consider, for a moment, how nobody, who values and respects himself would want to hurt another! The very act of self-value and self-respect ensures that he will give that out to others! This is the reason why it is so important to teach and enhance emotional intelligence skills in our children!” Emotional intelligence is self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills all packed into one. Cindy adds that children who master emotional intelligence skills become better leaders, study more effectively, enjoy more fulfilling relationships with others, are better able to retain information, have better concentration skills and live happier more fulfilled lives. “In fact,” she says, “Schools who teach emotional intelligence skills even have fewer bullying incidences and learning for all is more exciting, creative and effective!” She gives parents and caregivers the following tips on how to enhance a child’s emotional intelligence skills: Communication is key. We need to talk to our children about their emotions and listen sincerely to their answers… without judgement. This will help them become more aware of how they are feeling and, with your encouragement, they will find more positive solutions to any number of challenges. Use phrases such as: “How was your day?’ “What was the best/worst thing that happened today?’ “How did that make you feel?” “I hear you…” “I can understand how that must have upset you…” Teach your children to take responsibility for the choices that they have made. Blaming others has no value. We all make mistakes… own them and learn from them. Help your children understand that every choice has a consequence. We are free to make any choice that we want. The consequences, however, will be there no matter what. Teach your children to value who they are so that they will value others around them. Children do what we do and not what we say. It is vital for you to walk your talk.

November 24, 2017

The unwrapped gift of the gifted child

When we think of gifted children the first name that springs to mind is usually Einstein. I can’t help but wonder how many therapies Einstein would have been in if he had been born today. Rumour has it that he only started speaking at age 3, so already we have delayed development, paeds and speech therapy. Some have said that he would have been diagnosed today with autism or aspergers and would probably end up in special ed. He was known for long periods of daydreaming, something we treat these days with ADHD meds. Would we even pick up the underlying genius at all? I doubt it. Most gifted kids end up like an unwrapped gift – they are a group of the most unrecognized and misdiagnosed children around today. They are some of the children most often found in a variety of therapies because they don’t fit in the normal schooling mould and we don’t know what to do with them. They often have inconsistent developmental rates where they’re very advanced in one area and quite behind in another and so we surmise that they can’t be gifted if they’re not coping or at a similar level as other kids their age. Gifted kids tend to have one or more over-excitabilities including physical (misdiagnosed as ADHD and put on meds), sensory (misdiagnosed as sensory integration issues and sent to OT), emotional (misdiagnosed as emotional problems and sent to play therapy). It is up to us as parents to inform ourselves and trust our instincts when it comes to our children. Just because some professional tells you your child has a problem does not necessarily mean it is true. Get another opinion. Do some research. Dig a little deeper. Gifted kids may even need some therapy and may even have a learning disability that comes alongside their genius but often they are simply misdiagnosed in our modern day obsession with fixing children and making them all alike. If you suspect your child is gifted, they probably are. Here are the typical traits of a gifted child (keep in mind that gifted children, like all children, are unique and may or may not display all of these traits): Unusual alertness, even in infancy Rapid learner Excellent memory Unusually large vocabulary and complex sentence structure for their age Advanced comprehension of word nuances, metaphors and abstract ideas Enjoys solving problems, especially with numbers and puzzles Often self-taught reading and writing skills as preschooler Deep, intense feelings and reactions Highly sensitive Thinking is abstract, complex, logical, and insightful Idealism and sense of justice at early age Concern with social and political issues and injustices Preoccupied with own thoughts—daydreamer Learn basic skills quickly and with little practice Asks probing questions Wide range of interests (or extreme focus in one area) Highly developed curiosity Interest in experimenting and doing things differently Puts idea or things together that are not typical Keen and/or unusual sense of humour Desire to organize people/things Vivid imaginations (and imaginary playmates when in preschool) Parents are actually very good at judging whether their child is gifted or not, so trust yourself. Gifted kids, like special needs children, have different requirements in terms of education, stimulation, and emotional support. The sooner you unwrap your gift, the sooner you can figure out exactly how to nurture your unique child into fulfilling their potential.

November 14, 2017

Collaborative Learning

by Prof Rita Niemann Gerlach (2004) explained that collaborative learning is in essence a natural social act, implying talking about and discussing topics, which results in learning. In applying collaborative learning in terms of an educational approach, it means learners working together to solve problems or challenges in order to complete a task. How can collaborative learning contribute to the learning process? Collaborative learning can contribute to the learning process if the following elements are catered for: Some tips for effective collaborative learning Constituting the group Ideal size: 4-5 learners. Set up the groups prior to assigning the tasks. Place groups in a way to optimise collaboration (e.g. around a table). Assigning the task Plan meticulously (e.g. the purpose, handouts, resources, etc.). Use real-world problems to stimulate problem-solving and critical thinking skills. Link emerging ideas to the purpose and objectives of the tasks. Allow sufficient time. Align tasks to the learners’ experiences, access to resources, skills, etc. Present task in a visible manner. Group member interaction Allow for questions, if learners are not clear about what is expected from them. Insist on proper behaviour. Set ground rules for how groups have to operate. Account for the diversity in and between groups, Assign roles to the members of the group or allow the groups to assign their own roles. Determine whether the team members have the required resources or allow for sharing resources. A group name or logo builds group cohesion. Allow for ample communication between members. Allow learners to conduct research/explore options to solve a challenge/conduct an activity. Allow for applying their own ideas. Facilitator’s role Have incentives/rewards to excite members to accomplish their goals. Include an element of competition. Monitor the groups’ progress, but do not interfere with their work. Let groups give feedback (orally or in a written form). Give constructive feedback on what worked well and where learners were on the right track and make suggestions for improvement. Allow learners to reflect on their group experiences. Discuss/present the outcome/s to get critique. Support learners who fall behind. The usage of technology should be considered (e.g. chats).

November 9, 2017

5 Parenting Tips For Children With Autism

When autism is diagnosed early the long term outcome is almost always better since you can start behavioral therapy early on. Being a parent is a demanding task that requires a lot of effort. If you have a special needs child then you will find parenting even more challenging. No parent is prepared when they find out that their child has autism and it may seem completely overwhelming, however there are some steps that you can take that will help you to cope easier and help you to assist your child better. Here are some simple parenting tips for children with autism: 1 Structure, Routine & Safety All children need structure, routine and safety but children with autism need it even more so. An autistic child will struggle to apply things learnt in one setting to another, so it will be important to find out what your child is learning at school and in therapy so that you can also apply those things at home. Consistency also needs to be applied to the way you deal with your child’s challenging behavior and interact with your child. Try and keep your daily routine the same as far as possible, so therapy times, meal times, play time and bedtime should be the same as far as possible. There will be times that you will need to break your schedule, so when this happens let your child know in plenty of time and help your child prepare for the change. While it may seem easier to keep your child at home due to unpredictable behavior it is important for your child to learn how to deal with the outside world too. Choose some regular errands that you do with your child such as grocery shopping so that your child can get accustomed to doing it on a regular basis. This should be included in your schedule and over time it will get easier and you child will become better adjusted. It is a great idea to set up a safe zone for your child in your home. This space should be a quiet area where your child can be comfortable, relax and feel safe. You can mark this space out clearly for your child. Keep in mind that your child has sensory sensitivities. This means that your child is super sensitive to sound, light, touch, smells and movements. Take this into account when you create this safe zone. This is going to be the place for your child to get away from it all and be safe. 2 Put Emphasis On Play Play is important for all children, as well as children with autism. In fact it may be even more important since your child will be doing a lot of therapeutic activities. Try and keep play as fun as possible, focusing on things that will bring your child out of his or her shell. Keep in mind that verbal skills is not your child’s forte so try and get some non-verbal activities that you can do together too so that your child can relax and not feel too much pressure. Remember to keep play fun rather than therapeutic. Make sure that you put loads of play time on your schedule and try to make it at a time that your child is most alert. 3 Positive Parenting Positive parenting is important for all children, but even more with special needs children. It is important to be patient and accept your child at whatever stage he or she is at. Focusing on the positive behaviors in your child with praise and rewards will go a long way. Be very specific when you praise your child so he or she knows exactly what it is that has been achieved. Find ways to reward your child for positive behavior that will reinforce your praise. Your child will regularly have tantrums and difficulty controlling his or her negative behaviors. Try to be patient and not to let this affect you, rather keep focused on figuring out what the trigger is for this behavior. Your autistic child will have more difficulty communicating and this can be a huge source of frustration for your child. Try and learn your child’s non-verbal cues. 4 Figure Out What Works There is no one thing that will work for all autistic children. Your child will have his or her own unique triggers and ways of communication. Since your autistic child will struggle with verbal communication you will need to pay special attention to your child’s non-verbal communication. Learning about autism and specifically about your own child is key here. You will need to try out different things to find out what really works for you and your child. Trust your instincts and try to be patient with yourself and your child. There are so many different types of approaches to treating autism so if you try one type of therapy and it doesn’t work don’t let if get you down. Keep trying until you find the unique plan that works best in your unique circumstances. 5 Get Support Looking after yourself is essential so that you are emotionally, physically and spiritually strong enough to look after your child. While you may feel that taking some time off from your child is selfish and that it is your responsibility you do need the time off to look after yourself. Get a family member to look after your child regularly or a carer so you can rest a bit. Joining a support group for ASD will help you immensely since you will be able to meet other families that are dealing with the same things you are. You will be able to get advice from other people that are facing the same challenges as well as get emotional support when things get tough. Dealing with a special needs child can take its toll on you emotionally, so you (or your parter) may suffer from depression, stress or anxiety. Consider getting counseling for yourself,

October 20, 2017

QUALITIES IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

Searching for some easy ways to help your kids feel good about themselves? A practical way to build their self-esteem is to focus on just four qualities. Belonging is about meaningful connections with others. Kids, who feel they belong, feel safer, self-assured and better at managing challenges. This is why when friends exclude them it really hurts. By helping them to adjust to new environments; encouraging healthy friendships and building family values, you boost their sense of belonging. Tips Set up play dates and activities where they can learn to cooperate Encourage team sports/group activities In new places and situations help them feel that they belong Do fun things together as a family Mastery is the ability to achieve a skill / feel competent at something. Kids love to be noticed whenever they get something right without your help. This is why your four-year-old melts down when you take over for them. Babies don’t give up on walking after falling down once or twice. As parents we need to step back a little, motivating them to keep trying, while encouraging them to achieve things by themselves. Tips Be encouraging when they are trying/showing you a new skill Avoid taking over when they’re struggling (rather encourage finding other ways ) Always comment on their efforts Independence is about being your own person – making decisions, problem solving and taking responsibility. When kids are given chances to manage themselves and become inwardly directed, their confidence soars. Remember over time, school and sport demands increase and kids are expected to manage without your help, relying on their own inner qualities and resources. Tips Do less for them, and more with them (i.e. stand by while supporting with words) Don’t always give solutions – rather encourage them to think Offer choices – it builds independence Encourage decision-making- without telling them what you would do Involve them in simple household chores from an early age – it builds independence, responsibility and self-discipline. If you’re in doubt as to whether they can do something without your help, give it a try. Use words to guide them, while standing by and commenting on how well they’re tackling the task. Although they may want you to help, if you keep encouraging and only help with words, they’ll soon believe in themselves too. Generosity is about giving to others without expecting anything back. In helping others, kids feel good about themselves. Where children have plenty of opportunities and positive encouragement to be generous, they naturally become more helpful and caring, and compassionate towards others. Remember they’re learning by seeing what you do. With a little bit of effort, any selfish habits can be unlearned, and our kids can become far more helpful, kind and generous than we can imagine. Lead the way and let them follow. Tips Be caring – share hugs and smiles Encourage gift making, giving and donating used clothes/toys Create a “gratitude jar” – let them write down what they feel most grateful for daily and put it in the jar The wonderful parenting joy about strengthening these qualities (adapted from the Circle of Courage Model) is that it with a little bit of focus and effort we can build lifelong self-esteem in our children. Written by Carol Surya, author of ParentMagic – raising kids positively.

October 17, 2017

Help, my child is behaving badly at school!

The trouble with bringing children into the world is that they do not arrive with user manuals! How much easier would it be if we could troubleshoot in a manual and find the solution that would solve their problems with minimal mess and fuss! As parents, one of our deep-rooted fears is that our children may behave badly whilst at school, upset their teacher, classmates or, worse, the Principal (whom we have learnt to fear from our own childhood misdemeanours)! As a mom and teacher, Cindy Glass Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres can relate. She offers some advice and a new perspective to parents who are navigating the world of not-so-perfect kids. She starts out by acknowledging that negative behaviour at school can affect all who associate with the individual who has behaved badly. Parents, in particular, can feel angry, frustrated and even helpless when their child consistently chooses negative, self-harming behaviours. “It is very easy for a parent to slip into ‘reaction’ mode and punish the child in ways that they may have experienced as a child. It takes great courage, however, to choose to understand these behaviours and find positive, creative solutions,” says Cindy. She adds, “Consider this: Every choice we make, every action we take is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person! Negative behaviours at school have a solid and powerful root – FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear that the teacher will notice that he is struggling to understand the work, fear of being alone and fear of not being noticed and acknowledged. Think about it! Many children would rather get into trouble for negative behaviours than it be discovered that they are not coping with the pressures of school!” So what can you do? Cindy says that children need to understand that all actions have consequences. “Positive choices result in positive consequences and the same applies to negative choices. Being consistent in your expectations and consequences is essential.” “Fair, dependable boundaries are key to establishing a sense of stability within children. It takes courage not to shout, get excessively angry or perhaps even physically harmful toward a child who consistently misbehaves. I STRONGLY recommend that you read the book: ‘Have a new kid by Friday”, by Dr Kevin Leman. I did and it completely changed my approach to dealing with my children!” Cindy exclaims. Most of all she reminds parents that harmful words and actions destroy children and says that you should try teaching your child to value WHO HE IS and is so doing, overcome his fears. How? “Do this by choosing to value who YOU are!” says Cindy. There are no easy solutions, but with determination, patience and tons of love, you will be rewarded with more positive behaviours and it will be worth it! About Step Up Established in 2016, Step Up Education Centres is a dynamic after-school remediation and tutoring franchise with a difference. Step Up offers children an opportunity to succeed in a schooling system that is, at times, very unsympathetic. From the moment, a child walks through a Step Up Education Centre doors they feel different. They no longer feel silly or stupid. They no longer feel misunderstood. They no longer feel judged. After just one lesson they feel hope. They see possibility. After a few sessions, they walk taller, feel smarter, do better. Why? Because Step Up believes that every child has potential…And our passionate educators will not give up until they reach it!

October 3, 2017

Why kids prefer camp over school

Camp and school are very similar in that both are learning environments for children. However, the differences between the academic and experiential learning context explains why many children not only prefer camp, but also why they gain more personal growth in the camp environment. Here are 8 differences between camp & school: 1. Experiential learning method Learning is practiced on a daily basis at both camp and school. While school is more about textbook learning and studying for exams, camp promotes learning via experiential education. At camp, children get to physically participate in an activity and attain a skill from it. This method of learning seems to be what many children prefer. 2. Informal atmosphere School provides a formal environment, which children may find intimidating and conformist. Camp, on the other hand, is a very casual environment which allows kids to learn while still having fun and without too much restriction. The quote, “What we learn in fun, we never forget” is all too true for the camp environment. 3. Supervisors are role models Learners at school are supervised by their teachers with whom they often cannot develop a friendship, nor are they offered any opportunities to do so. At camp, kids are cared for by young adults called camp counselors. These counselors are specifically trained in child psychology, and as young adults with a passion for children they easily become role models and friends to the children in their care. 4. Diverse friendships Some schools restrict their learners from making friends beyond their age group, and the class barriers often prevent kids from different grades and schools from mixing with one another. Whereas, holiday camps accommodate children from around the world of all ages, of all cultures and races. This exposure to diversity is healthy for children, and it allows kids to make friendships freely and to expand their worldview – all with appropriate supervision. 5. Bullying prevention Schools have become the prime ground where bullies are born and begin terrorizing other children. The reason for this is probably because teachers are expected to spend more time teaching and performing administrative duties, rather than paying careful attention to their learners and their individual needs. At camp, the counselors supervise the children around the clock which allows them to deal with bullying as it happens and it also allows them to spend quality time with each child to attend to their personal needs. Additionally, many camps have a higher staff to child ratio than schools, which helps to create a bully-free environment. 6. Fostering Independence Learners at school are controlled by their school rules which promote discipline and order, and understandably so. However, kids also love the freedom to choose, of which there is little opportunity at school. Camp, on the other hand promotes independence and balances this with discipline. Children may choose the clothes they wear, the activities they want to participate in, the friendships they make and the food they eat. 7. Physical activity is promoted Learners spend most of their school day behind a desk rather than outdoors, which many children find frustrating and uninspiring. At camp, kids are always on the go, out and about, having fun and being active without the distraction of technology. Not to mention that the increased exercise they receive at camp benefits their ability to learn, concentrate and the quality of their sleep. 8. Less anxiety and more stress management Mention exams and assessments and watch how quickly children develop anxiety. The schooling environment can put a lot of pressure on kids, whether it is peer pressure to do well, or the usual exam stress. Camp is a more anxiety-free environment, and when children to do express their anxiety, they are encouraged to communicate with a counselor and also taught coping mechanisms to help them handle their stress. Obviously, school cannot be avoided, but the camp environment is a child’s sanctuary when school closes for the holidays. Together, both school and camp experiences provide many opportunities for a child’s academic and personal growth. Therefore, camp is well worth considering for your child to receive the benefits of both experiential and academic education.

October 2, 2017

Crossing The Midline

There are many terms that teachers, psychologists and other professionals may use that, at times, are perhaps not explained effectively leaving parents at a loss to the significance of these difficulties. It is important to understand what the importance of these conditions are, (especially if they have been mentioned in your child’s school report) what they mean, and the possible consequences and repercussions thereof. The midline is akin to an imaginary line going down the middle of one’s body from head to toe. Midline crossing is important for many skills to develop later on. For example, midline crossing is important for a youngster to develop the ability to use one hand to write across the entire page. This will also determine whether the youngster will have the necessary skills to read the length of the sentence across the page from left to right A child who can’t cross the midline, for instance, would use his/her left hand to write or paint on the left-side of the page and his/her right hand to write or paint on the right-hand side of the page which can hamper the learning process. Crossing the midline is also an indicator of bilateral co-ordination which is the ability to use both sides of the body and brain simultaneously. This is important for gross motor skills such as climbing stairs, walking, riding a bicycle and swimming. In addition, bilateral co-ordination is also important to read, write and learn. In other words, the right and left brain have to work together, for example in reading the left brain’s task is to decode a word whilst the right brain facilitates the understanding and meaning of what was read. Midline crossing is therefore essential for a youngster to develop as it is a very necessary skill for learning in all areas of life.

August 28, 2017

Your Child’s Hearing

Hearing is an essential part of development as it enables babies to take in information about the world around them. It stimulates brain development and is critical for language development. For this reason, it is vital to identify and address hearing difficulties as early as possible. By the 16th week of pregnancy, the tiny bones in the baby’s ears begin to develop. By the 20th week of pregnancy, the baby begins to respond to sounds. Loud sounds may even make the baby startle or move about. By the 25th week of pregnancy, the auditory system becomes fully functional. At this point the baby is able to hear your voice when you are speaking or singing. Studies have shown that after birth, babies are able to recognize songs that were sung to them while in the womb. Unlike the visual system where actual visual experience begins after birth, the auditory system requires auditory experience with voice and language, music and meaningful environmental sounds during the last 10 to 12 weeks of fetal life. A child is born with a mind that is open and ready to receive information through all five senses. The more information the mind receives, the better the child is able to understand and participate in the world around them. All five senses are tools for learning and communicating. However, the sense of hearing is the most critical for speech and language development. It is difficult to define “normal” hearing development when speaking about human beings as each individual develops in their own way and at their own pace. However, over the years, several researchers have been able to compile a guideline for general milestones for hearing development: A Guideline for Hearing Developmental Milestones Birth At birth, babies are able to exhibit a startle reflex in response to sudden loud noises. This means that they will stiffen, quiver, blink, fan out their fingers and toes, or cry as a response. They are often sensitive to a wide range of sounds, including intonation and rhythmic cues. At birth, babies are able to recognize their mother’s voice and often prefer the sound of their mother’s voice. Sounds of different pitches have different effects on the infant. Low frequency sounds and rhythmic sounds have a calming effect. Higher frequency sounds result in a more violent reaction. You may note an increase or decrease in sucking in response to sound. Three Months At three months of age, babies are more aware of human speech and will begin to attend to voices. They will also start to show excitement for familiar sounds such as approaching footsteps, running bath water, etc. At this age, babies tend to awaken or quiet to the sound of their mother’s voice and will vocally respond to their mother’s voice. They begin to imitate noises as they hear them e.g. ooh, baba. Most importantly, at this stage, babies begin to localize sound by means of turning their eyes toward the general sound source. This is a great time to introduce sound-making toys; as they begin to enjoy such sounds and will listen to bells and other sound-making toys near them. Four Months By four months of age babies start localizing sound by turning their head toward the general source of sound and they will actively search for human voices. Five Months At 5 months of age, babies are able to localize sound more specifically. They distinguish between friendly and angry voices and react appropriately. They will stop crying or coo is response to music and become very interested in human voices. At this point, they are able to discriminate between sounds of strangers and familiar people. Six Months By 6 months of age, babies specifically locate sound from any direction, such as the bell that is rung out of sight (downward localization develops before upward localization). They will respond to human speech by smiling or vocalizing and will turn immediately to their mother’s voice across the room. They may show evidence of response to different emotional tones in their mother’s voice. Their association of hearing with sound production is now evident, in that they repeat selected sounds that they have heard. Eight Months At 8 months of age it is expected for the baby to turn his head and shoulders toward familiar sounds, even when he cannot see what is happening. They begin to understand sounds and words in context e.g. responding to a telephone ringing, a human voice, his own name, “no-no,” “bye-bye“. It is at this point that they begin to enjoy games like pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo. They may respond with raised arms when their mother says, “Come up” and reaches toward the child. One Year At one year of age it is expected that the child will babble in response to human voice. His sound imitations indicate that he can hear the sounds and match them with his own sound production. He will enjoy various sounds like jingles and rhymes and show interest in environmental sounds that may even be beyond his immediate surroundings. The child will respond to simple commands (at first, only when the command is accompanied by a gesture), such as giving a toy on request or going somewhere as directed. At this age, it is expected that the child understands an assortment of action words (verbs) such as “drink“, “go“, “come“, “give“, as well as some simple directions such as “wave bye bye.” No real understanding of questions is shown at this point. Two Years By two years of age several hearing and communication skills have developed: Shows interest in the sounds of radio or TV commercials. Listens to reason of language. Listens to simple stories. Responds to command, “Show me the —.” Understands and answers simple “wh” questions, e.g. “Where is your –?” Responds to yes/no questions by shaking or nodding head. Waits in response to “just a minute.” Identifies five body parts. Understands family names by selecting appropriate pictures. Understands the phrase, “have sweets after lunch” Carries out 4

August 24, 2017

How to Communicate When Your Child is Away From Home

How do you communicate with your child when they are away from home for a prolonged time? Whether its for a sleepover holiday camp, school tour or even if they’re spending a few days at a friends house; the way you communicate with your children when they are away affects how much they will enjoy their away-from-home experience. More parents and children are reluctant to spend time away from home whether it’s for reasons that have to do with safety, homesickness or insecurity. However, it is important that parents don’t communicate their insecurities so that their children can enjoy themselves and long-term, so that they can grow up into independent and confident people. At Sugar Bay Resort, a holiday camp for kids and teens, we challenge both parents and children to write letters to one another the traditional way when at camp. We allow our campers to write a letter to their parents on the third day of camp. These letters are then scanned and emailed to parents, opening the door of communication between parents and their children. However, the parents’ replies are often very formal and lack the gist of a meaningful letter. Here are 6 tips when communicating to your children when they are away from home, whether it’s a letter or over the phone: Focus: Find a private and distraction-free place to speak to your child so that you can really listen. They can tell when you are busy with something, or not listening, so don’t try to multi-task. Focus completely on your conversation or the letter you are writing. Avoid talking about home: Ask questions about where they are and what they have been up to, rather than talking about home life. It’s important to recognise that as a parent, your words play an integral part in homesickness. Always be encouraging and supportive: Encourage them to talk about their new experiences and what they’ve been up to, and support them when they share something new they did (especially when it’s something you don’t expect). Avoid too many questions: Too many questions will make your kids feel pressured to respond correctly, or write back more often than they would prefer to. Avoid heavy-handed disapproval or reprimands: This is certainly an unpleasant thing to come across in any letter. Let the kids know that they are missed: However, avoid getting too emotional. Tackle this with a change of topic. For example; persuade the kids to describe the new friends they made at camp. This will take the focus away from the emotional attachment which the word “missing” brings. Children love getting letters from home when they are at Sugar Bay camp. It makes them feel important and helps them realize just how much they are loved, overall, building up their confidence and courage to make the most out of their week away from home. Letters are also often a sentimental item that most kids will keep forever. Therefore, Sugar Bay has a dedicated email address which parents can use for these letters when their children are at camp. Take the time to hand-write a beautiful, meaningful letter or have a supportive conversation using the eight great tips above; because in this case, words speak louder than actions.

August 24, 2017

3 Steps to help your child grow from failure

In today’s competitive environment, where some toddlers attend maths development classes and other youngsters are pushed to start reading fluently before they enter Grade 1, parents can be forgiven for being concerned about the future of their children who show signs of struggling academically or otherwise. But one of South Africa’s leading education experts says that the situation can and must be turned around before it spirals out of control and negatively impacts – unnecessarily so – on a child’s entire sense of self and self-esteem. And the way to do this is to cultivate a “growth mindset”, she says. “Children who think their intelligence and ability is ‘fixed’ – that they are stuck at a certain level of smarts — tend to do less well than those who think that they can, with perseverance, achieve at anything they set their minds to,” says Traci Salter*, Strategic Academic Development Advisor at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. “However learners who understand that their intelligence or skill level can be improved by effort and experimentation seek more challenges, learn from mistakes and don’t give up in the face of failure,” she says. The concept of the Growth Mindset was pioneered by Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, and draws on neuroscience showing that a learner’s brain can improve with dedicated effort. Her research showed that personal qualities and abilities are not fixed, but can change with a simple change in approach. Dweck’s research further showed that how children think about themselves has a significant impact on learning; with a strong connection between students’ motivation to learn a new skill and how they perceived their intelligence. “Cultivating a growth mindset in one’s child is not a complicated process, and it can be given immediate and significant momentum with just one little word: yet,” says Salter. For instance, if Anna is having trouble with language learning skills, explain that she isn’t good yet. If Mandla can’t get to grips with algebra, it is because he hasn’t grasped it yet. Emphasise that with effort, they will eventually master these skills. Carol Dweck recommends we ensure that children know “it is okay and safe to fail, and that taking risks and learning from failure can lead to invention and creativity”, notes Salter, adding that the way we praise our children also plays an important role. “Dweck advised that, rather than using general praise, for instance saying ‘you can do it because you are so smart’, parents and teachers should praise specific efforts that lead to improvements such as focus, persistence and work habits. For instance, one could say ‘you’re doing a great job organising your science fair experiment. It will give you plenty of time to practise presenting. “This takes the spotlight off fixed ability and puts it on the process of learning and developing.” Following Dweck’s strategies, Salter says there are 3 steps parents can take to help their children develop a growth mindset: 1) HAVE DAILY LEARNING DISCUSSIONS At dinner, in the car or at bedtime take time for both children and parents to share the answers to these types of questions: “What did you learn today?” (Instead of “How was your day?”) “What mistake did you make that taught you something today? “What did you try that you found hard today?” It is important for parents and guardians to share their learning as well, because it models to children that even grownups learn new things every day, and learn from failures. 2) GIVE FEEDBACK ON PROCESS ONLY Praise effort by children – for instance persistence, thinking of alternate strategies, seeking new opportunities, setting ongoing goals, planning for achieving these, and considering creative alternates to the challenge at hand. Don’t praise personal abilities like being smart, pretty, or artistic. This kind of praise could actually lead to a loss of confidence since children won’t be smart at everything. They’ll doubt their ability to master something that is difficult initially. 3) ENCOURAGE RISK, FAILING AND LEARNING FROM MISTAKES Failure teaches our children important life lessons. For one, it’s how they learn resilience, perseverance and self-motivation. Now is the time to let our children risk and fail. But we often want to prevent our children from failing, from feeling upset or sad. Don’t. “We must let our children experience some failures while they are young, so that they can strengthen their growth mindset muscles. If we don’t, they will become adults with no perseverance, or belief in their abilities to work hard and succeed,” says Salter. “And when the going gets tough, and challenges feel extra challenging, we should help our children celebrate the fact that they are learning and building mental muscle. Tell them about all the famous people who failed and didn’t give up, like Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan and Oprah Winfrey, and remind them that every challenge provides an opportunity to become more empowered.”

August 14, 2017

Saying goodbye to your kids – The Do’s and Dont’s

The way in which you say goodbye to your kids before a new experience can either encourage them or incite panic and despair. For children, a new experience can be scary and they depend on the support from their parents in order to respond to this experience positively. Here are some Dos and Don’ts for certain first-time-experiences: Saying goodbye at school for the first time: Watching your little one walk away from the car into the school gates for the first time is often a very stressful experience for parents. However, it is much more challenging for your child, be it the first day of primary school, high school or college. DOencourage your child and speak about how exciting this new experience will be. Focus on the opportunities it will offer and the positive things to look forward to in the day. The trick is to be more excited than your child, and your excitement will surely rub off on him or her. DON’Tthink of all the things that could go wrong and don’t share these thoughts with your child. Feeding your child’s mind with negative body language and expressing doubts will not encourage them to look forward to this new opportunity. Your child will emulate your anxiety, resulting in them feeling “on edge” all day long. Saying goodbye for their first sleepover camp: Sending your child away for a week-long sleepover camp can be rather nerve-wracking for both parents and children. Homesickness, safety concerns and the thought of your child having an unpleasant experience are one of parents’ greatest concerns. DOyour research about the camp to put your mind at ease about the safety and enjoyment of the venue. Read online reviews, request a tour of the camp if you can and ask all your questions. DOstart encouraging your child’s excitement in advance. Research the fun activities they can participate in at camp by watching YouTube videos or visiting their website. Take your kids shopping for their camping experience. Whether you’re just getting a few odds and ends or searching for the best insect repellent or sun block, it will definitely get them excited. Be sure to tell them about how this opportunity will allow them to create new friendships. DON’Ttell your kids about how much you will be missing them. This will probably make them feel guilty about being away from home and is one of the main contributing factors which lead to homesickness. Don’t call the camp and request to speak to your child too often either. It’s best to send an email which can get passed on to your child, rather than interrupting your child’s first experience sleeping away from home. If you do call, remember to sound happy and encourage your child to share what they’ve enjoyed so far and to make the most out of this experience. Saying goodbye before their first solo flight: The first time on a foreign mode of transport is a scary ordeal for anyone. No parent necessarily wants their minors to be unaccompanied when traveling, however, certain situations will require them to be independent and conquer this fear. DOTell them about how proud you are of them for being so responsible and going on a plane by themselves. This will boost their confidence. DOShare the interesting things they would fancy on a plane ride, such as the good food, free drinks, window seats, fun onboard games and movies etc. DOReassure them that they will be safe and that air travel is the safest mode of transport in the world. Also, inform them that they are not alone and that the airplane has a host of friendly and helpful staff who will be there to assist them at all times. DOprepare them for turbulence and the speed of take-off, so they aren’t terrified when it happens. Explain that this is a normal and common thing for planes. DON’Tdiscuss all the things that could go wrong on this journey, such as a plane crash, or plane hijacking, etc. This is not encouraging, even as a joke, and will send your child running for the hills when it’s time to board their plane. DON’T look or sound concerned or sad in front of your child. Your emotions have a major impact on your child’s behavior. No matter the situation, remember to always be encouraging and speak confidently when saying goodbye to your kids. Keep reminding them of everything positive that they will experience and they will conquer their “first-time-alone” fears with confidence.

August 11, 2017

Anger in Children: When is it a Problem?

Anger is a normal emotion that every happy healthy adult and child has to deal with from time to time. When does expressing anger become a problem? Children go through different stages with their age that affect the way they deal with anger. Anger is usually not a root emotion, but a term that may cover feelings ranging from embarrassment, frustration, loneliness to guilt. A newborn baby expresses their “anger” or frustration over being hungry, tired or uncomfortable by screaming and crying. A two-year-old may throw tantrums that include rolling around on the floor or trying to hit the parent, sibling or even their pet. As a child gets older, hopefully proper responses to anger have been modelled for them and they can learn to express their anger more appropriately. Anger becomes a problem when it causes negative, aggressive behaviour, gets out of control and when the root cause of the problem isn’t being dealt with. For instance, often children with undiagnosed learning disabilities will have frequent angry outbursts. They may be feeling frustrated because they are struggling to learn and it may feel like the world is closing in on them when parents or teachers suggest that they aren’t trying hard enough or doing their best. Because the child isn’t able to deal with the real issue, they become angry over small incidents that would normally be insignificant. This helps them to avoid feeling “stupid” or incapable. Once the problem is discovered and the child gets the help, support and proper discipline that is needed, the angry outbursts become less frequent or disappear altogether. It is important that children learn how to express their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. A child should never be told that their feelings are wrong, though they may need reminding if their behaviour is wrong. For instance you might say, “Johnny, I understand that you are angry about your brother breaking your toy, that wasn’t fair, but it is not okay to hit when you are angry.” The child needs to know that his feelings are validated and should also be given some ideas about how to handle the situation better the next time they are in a similar position. Anger is a normal emotion for people of all ages, including children. Good communication and modelling good behaviour are two of the best ways to help children learn to deal with anger. Taking the time to praise your child whenever he or she does anything that is positive can also help them understand what it expected and feel good about doing what is right. Take the time to check yourself to see if you spend too much time being negative or angry and find ways to be more positive. If the parents in the home aren’t dealing with anger appropriately, they can’t expect the child to. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and apologise to your child, teaching them to do the same. If you suspect that your child has a serious anger problem, it may be time to get some additional help and guidance. Written by: Ray Subs Ray Subs is a public relations consultant working to promote the Help Your Child with Anger Blog.

July 30, 2017

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