Advice from the experts
Mia Von Scha

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU LIKE ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

We all have times where we favour one child over another. Children go through different phases and some of these can be extremely challenging. It is easier to get on with and ‘like’ the child not going through a difficult phase or one who has a naturally more cooperative temperament. These are usually transitory fluctuations in the way that we like our children (note this does not mean that we love one more than another, but that they’re easier to get on with at that time) and can change from day to day or month to month.  Long-term favouritism usually comes from a parent who has not accepted all parts of themselves. We will all project the parts of ourselves that we are too humble or too proud to admit that we have onto the people around us. For example, all people are sometimes energetic and sometimes lazy (these are both natural human traits that we all have in some form). But if you are too proud to admit that you are ever lazy, you may project this ‘undesirable’ trait onto one of your children. You then place a label on that child and judge them as being ‘less than’ the child in whom you have projected more satisfying traits. And the more we label someone, the more we tend to only see that side of them, instead of seeing them for the whole person that they truly are.  Another reason that we may have favourites has to do with our own values. A parent will tend to like a child more if they have similar values to their own. For example, if the parent values education, knowledge and status, and has one child who is academic, head girl, and has been recognised in her community, and another child who loves fashion, make-up and partying, it is easy to see who might become the favourite. The fact is, that in any family you will have one (or more) children who tend to value things that you don’t. This does not make them wrong or inferior or unworthy, just different to you. In fact, when we start looking at self-development, it is the child most different to yourself from whom you can learn the most and grow the most.  The main danger in favouritism is that the unfavoured child will suffer a blow to their sense of self-worth. Our self-worth is responsible for our overall success, creativity, confidence, happiness and inner peace. A positive sense of self worth allows us to explore the world and try new things, to fulfil our dreams, to avoid peer pressure and to feel loved and loveable. If a child feels that they are not as loved, that they are somehow less than their sibling, they can start labelling themselves as ‘unworthy’, ‘unlovable’, ‘not good enough’, etc.  In my experience of coaching adults, the majority of their problems come from these kinds of limiting beliefs about themselves. Having one of these beliefs will hamper your relationships, career, friendships, health and general well being in life. A child experiencing this may, on the one hand, become an over-achiever, trying to prove their worth to the parent/s. (Just as a side note, the favoured child may also end up with self-worth issues, believing that there is something that they DO that makes them favoured and therefore trying desperately to hang onto this status.) Or, they may give up, see themselves as not worth the effort, and fall prey to peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, and other forms of delinquency.  The best way to avoid this is to seriously look at yourself. If you find that you are favouring one child over another, ask yourself what it is in yourself that you are trying to avoid. Ask yourself if you could learn something from the least favoured child. Learn to accept all parts of yourself and you won’t have to reject these parts in someone else (whether that be a child, spouse, co-worker or friend). Everyone in our lives, and particularly our children, can help us to grow as human beings and to find wholeness. If you’re struggling to do this on your own (and often it is very difficult to see our own flaws objectively) then work with a friend, coach or therapist to uncover what is really going on. Every child is a unique individual, different from everyone else and from themselves yesterday, and learning and growing at their own pace. Appreciate each child for who they are in this moment, knowing that they (and you) will change as time goes on. Every child deserves your love, regardless of what they are going through at the time.

June 21, 2019
Parenting Hub

Five ways to prevent a red, chapped nose this winter

A red, chapped nose is one of the more visible side-effects of colds and flu, for children and adults. Here’s five practical ways to prevent a sore or raw nose this winter, from mom of three, Dirna Grobbelaar, Oral Hygiene Advisor at Ivohealth.  A runny nose can cause dryness and chafing as frequent blowing and wiping, strips natural moisture from the skin and causes irritation.  Apply some type of barrier cream, balm or ointment such as petroleum jelly or coconut oil to form a protective layer over the skin. Or ideally, use Letibalm, the only product available in South Africa specifically designed to protect and repair the delicate skin around the nose and lips. It’s made with natural and active ingredients including ancient healing herb centella asiatica with proven antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and hydrating properties; nourishing cocoa butter and antioxidant vitamin E.  Whichever balm you use, it’s vital to apply it several times a day, especially before and after blowing the nose. Keep a tub or tube of Letibalm handy in your bag, child’s school bag and the car, so there is one available whenever needed.  Wiping with the correct tissues will minimise irritation. Wet wipes aren’t suitable as they may contain cleansers, chemicals or other irritants; rather use a soft tissue, ideally ones infused with aloe vera or calendula. Instead of wiping the nose, gently pat or dab the skin.  Blowing the nose less often will help prevent ‘tissue burn’. Rinsing the nostrils with a saline spray or homemade saline solution can help clear stuffiness. Buy a nasal spray at the pharmacy or make your own saline solution with a cup of cool, boiled water and half a teaspoon of salt. Steam helps relieve congestion and moistens the nasal passages, another good reason to enjoy hot soups and herbal teas when you’re feeling under the weather. Steaming your face over a bowl of hot water under a towel may be helpful, or sit in a sauna or steamy bathroom, probably a safer steaming method for children.  Keeping the body and skin hydrated is important in preventing dry skin. Using a humidifier can add moisture to the air. Drinking plenty of fluids, especially water or herbal tea, is always recommended and especially when you have the sniffles. A clean washcloth soaked in warm water can be used to gently moisturise the face. Avoid harsh soaps, facial scrubs or anti-ageing products but do use plenty of moisturiser to keep the skin soft, in addition to a balm around the nose and lips.  The best advice is to do all you can to stay well this winter. Maintain a healthy lifestyle and diet; get lots of fresh air and exercise; regularly wash your hands to avoid germs. But should the sniffles strike, these few simple steps can make it nicer and less nasty for your nose .  Five tips to prevent a chapped nose this winter: Regularly apply a barrier cream, such as Letibalm nose and lip repair Use soft tissues, ideally infused with aloe vera or calendula. Gently pat rather than wipe Blow the nose as little as possible. Use a saline spray or solution to help clear stuffiness Use steam to moisturise the skin and help relieve congestion  Keep the skin hydrated and mucous thin – use a humidifier and drink plenty of fluids For further practical advice from Dirna Grobbelaar read the Ivohealth blog on www.ivohealth.co.za.

June 19, 2019
Impaq

Three reasons why it may be unfair to make your child choose a career in high school

The world of work is changing more rapidly than ever before. Shifts in economies and the advent of the Fourth Industrial Revolution leave parents anxious about their child’s future. This anxiety can often lead to frustration and conflict in the parent-child relationship, which seems to exacerbate both party’s concerns. From a career counselling perspective, here are three reasons why I believe it may be unfair for your child to commit to a career in high school.

June 18, 2019
Parenting Hub

The wonderful gift of boredom in children

Never in the history of mankind have we been so bombarded by technology in the form of cellphones, tablets and computers. Cindy Glass, Owner and Co-Founder of Step Up Education Centres say,” We are a species with highly addictive personalities and we seem quite oblivious to the effects that this is having on our ability to learn and retain new information, concentrate on tasks, engage in creative, imaginative play and enjoy healthy human relationships. Our children spend many hours watching screens, hopping between apps and only needing to focus for seconds at a time, if at all. We are, quite literally, losing our minds!” She adds that we are born with an innate ability and need to explore, learn, design, imagine and engage with our physical world. “We have bodies that can move and minds that can dream of the impossible and make it possible. There is no technology on earth that can replace the brilliance of a human mind, if it is allowed the opportunity to be used effectively.” Children are born wanting to play and learn, but, even before they are able to express this genius, we put a screen in front of them.  Screen-time has become the new nanny of the 21st century and studies have shown that ‘she’ is the least effective way to encourage the wholistic development of a human being. Cindy explains that in order for our brain to learn the essential skills of creativity and imagination, it needs to have space! Research has shown that too much screen time causes the human brain to become over-stimulated.  It does not have to do any work to receive the images and activities that are available at a touch of a button. Few, if any, critical thinking or problem-solving skills are required to mindlessly hop between apps, videos and games.  The mind is a muscle that needs exercising and engagement in order to develop and grow. At the same time however, we know that Technology is here to stay. So. How do parents ensure that it is used wisely?   What would happen if you deliberately restricted the amount of screen time that your children were allowed to use? Many parents would flinch at the thought! ‘My child will be angry and worse, bored!’ Cindy recognises that this would be most parents concern but adds that it would only be for a week! “Children are so addicted to their screens that it may take a few days to adjust to finding other ways to engage with their world more effectively BUT, once boredom kicks in, the mind begins to wake up! The brain seeks to stimulate itself and looks for ways to create new scenarios in which to work. This is where imagination and creativity and new ideas begin. Art, music, reading, climbing the tree outside, having real human conversations, dancing, running, laughing, writing and designing are some of the essential life skills that will start developing as a result of being bored for a moment. The brain is forced to focus for longer periods of time and concentration skills are greatly enhanced!” “As parents, it is our responsibility to ensure that we give our children opportunities to be without the world of addictive technology so that their minds, bodies and emotions can develop to their full potential. It is our responsibility, to take responsibility for how much time is spent in front of a screen. Do not fear boredom.  Allow it. You may just be surprised at the outcome!” Cindy concludes.

June 14, 2019
Impaq

THE POSITIVES OF ADHD

So far, I have written about some of the difficulties experienced in raising and parenting one’s ADHD/ADD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder/attention deficit disorder) child. Right now, it’s time to look at the many positives that ADHD children have – but please bear in mind that every child is different – they may all have the same diagnosis but they are all still their own people with their own temperaments, characteristics, personalities, etc. so the list that follows is a generalisation, and not necessarily applicable to all. Firstly, the ADHD symptom of hyperfocus is incredibly useful. When our children are interested in something, we all know how difficult it is to tear them away. When this is something important for their wellbeing and development such as a wonderful hobby, a subject they are incredibly interested in or learning a new skill, this hyperfocus is a total gift and keeps them on track for hours on end. Secondly, we often hear how adventurous, curious and hyperactive the ADHD child is – these are very positive qualities when channelled constructively. If one reads any book about entrepreneurs, successful businesspeople, etc. these are the qualities that are often used to describe them. Being curious means wanting to find out about things and pushing for more knowledge, the sense of adventure will direct the curiosity to exploration and experimentation and the busyness means that the person has the energy to do so. Within the context of work and life, these are very positive qualities when used effectively. Thirdly, the resourcefulness, innovativeness and inventiveness of these kids can be incredible. I have watched my one son use his artistic talent to sell his works online, get commissions from others and therefore earn money on the side (this was at 16 years old). This is a good example of using these characteristics to think out of the box, in a lateral way. And lastly, our children are often incredibly forgiving, good-hearted and gregarious. I believe that this stands them in good stead in their dealings with others. I can only be grateful for these qualities when I think back to my early struggles with my eldest son and how awful I was at times, and how close and connected we are today. Thank goodness for his forgiving, good-hearted nature! It’s important to be aware of the positives of these ADHD/ADD symptoms when we are caught in the morass of frustration and sometimes despair.  We only need to think of Albert Einstein who was repeatedly seen as a poor student by his teachers and who only began to talk after the age of two. Today, he is recognised as having been ADHD. One of my favourite quotes by him is, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. This is often what happens with the ADD child in the school environment and it is often only after school that all of the so-called negative characteristics of ADHD are viewed in the positive light I have described above.  Remember too Richard Branson, Walt Disney, Justin Timberlake, Michael Phelps as beautiful examples of ADHD people, and then go and give your child a big hug!

June 11, 2019
Advtech Group

START YOUR CHILD ON THE CODING PATH, EVEN IF THEIR SCHOOL ISN’T THERE YET – EXPERT

There is a lot of talk in South Africa about the Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR) and the need for education in the country to start preparing learners for the future world of work from a young age. Unfortunately in South Africa, resources are often lacking and many teachers are not yet equipped to teach coding. However this shouldn’t stop parents from encouraging their children to start with the basics of coding from a young age, an expert says. “As we teach our children to read and speak our mother tongue language so we should start with coding at an early age,” says John Luis, Head of Academics at ADvTECH Schools, a division of South Africa’s largest private education provider. “Parents who are not tech savvy may find this daunting, so the easiest way to start the children off will be to download some apps to their mobile devices which will use games to kick off the coding thought processes. Learning to code is like learning how to speak, read and write in a different language. Children are very good at learning a variety of languages from a young age so teaching them coding will be no different,” he says. Luis says that the importance of preparing children for a technologically-enabled future cannot be overstated. “Technology changes rapidly and our children must be able to adapt, be agile minded and most importantly prepared for the future working world. The 4IR should not be dismissed as a buzzword – it is real, and it is here where our lives will become intertwined with technology, the edges between reality and virtual worlds will blur and we need to ensure our children will be effective workers in this rapidly changing environment.  “This means that in the future world of work, coding will be a fundamental digital skill which our children will need to be literate in much the same way we prepare our children with language, numeracy and physical skills. Coding is no longer a skill reserved for scientists, engineers and IT geeks.” Luis explains that the fourth industrial revolution is characterised by a rapidly developing technological environment in which disruptive technologies, the Internet of Things, virtual and augmented reality, robotics and artificial intelligence are changing the way we exercise, play, study, live and work. “Behind this technology, functionality is achieved using code. It is how we communicate with computers, build websites, mobile apps, computer games and instruct robots. The Internet of Things (IoT) is already becoming more integrated into our homes. Smart TVs and watches, automated home management and security are only some of the examples where IoT is already used.” Like mathematics, becoming competent in the language of coding has many advantages beyond the obvious, he says. “Coding also helps with maths skills, it fosters creativity, improves problem solving abilities and can improve language and writing skills,” he says. Internationally coding has long been recognised as a future life skill and is offered as part of the normal primary school curriculum.  In South Africa, high schools have had the subject from Grade 10 to 12 as a subject choice (Information Technology) for many years, but it was mostly offered to select learners based on their mathematics marks. Still, only a small percentage of schools have been able to offer the subject as it requires dedicated infrastructure and highly competent teachers. The situation looks better at progressive private schools, where coding has been introduced as part of the mainstream offering, from as early as pre-prep, where children are introduced via simple techniques and readily available software. “While many schools are still in the starting blocks, and most haven’t even arrived for the race yet, parents must realise that academic excellence and individual competitiveness in future will require a solid grasp of the language of technology. So the question of a school’s offering in this regard should be one they take very seriously before enrolling their child. “And where they do not yet have the option of enrolling their child in a school that incorporates coding as part of the mainstream offering – which is the reality for the majority of the country – they should ensure that their child isn’t left behind, by assisting them independently,” says Luis. One of the options available to these parents, is to search for holiday camps in their area. And where those are not offered, parents can start by helping their child download some of the various free mobile applications and software (listed below) which help young children to start coding, he says. * Scratch (https://scratch.mit.edu/educators) is a very effective free coding language that is designed specifically for ages 8 to 16 but can be used by people of all ages. * Alice (https://www.alice.org/) is a block-based programming environment that makes it easy to create animations, build interactive narratives, or program simple games in 3D. *Microsoft Minecraft Education an educational version of Minecraft, the game popular with children all over the world. (https://education.minecraft.net/) . * Roblox (https://developer.roblox.com/resources/education/Resources) caters for children from the ages of 8 to 14.

June 11, 2019
Parenting Hub

Life After Camp: 3 tips for a smoother re-entry home

There are a gazillion articles with tricks and tips on sending your child to camp; how to pack for your child like a pro, how to choose the correct camp for your child, the benefits of camp and so forth. But what happens when they come home from camp? What can you expect? All children are different and the re-entry home from camp can range from never wanting to go back  to instant talks about plans for the next trip.  Here are 3 tips for a smoother re-entry back home from camp. Listen  You may need to prepare yourself for an eventful ride home. They’ll sing every camp song, tell you all about the new friends they made and mimic their favourite counselors. This is their way of processing and reliving their camp experience, and share their adventures with you. On the other side of the coin, you may get one-word answers and periods of silence. When this happens, don’t push for more information; sometimes kids just need to settle down in order to get comfortable to tell you about their adventures. Whatever the circumstance, the key is to listen.  Let them sleep  You may be graciously well-rested from flying solo or with less kids while your children were at camp, but your campers may be a different story. With physical exhaustion from all the activities coupled with the emotional exhaustion of dealing with less personal space, excitement and constant human interaction; expect them to be walking zombies. Whether they have been away for one week or four, your little camper will need all the rest they can get.  Don’t be too grossed out Oh they will be dirty, things will be missing and clothes will be muddy. Believe it or not, these are signs of a good holiday camp. Don’t give them a hard time for coming home with brown socks that were formerly white, or 2 sweaters when you packed 3. Don’t expect that your perfectly packed bag will return home as you had packed it or they used soap every time when they took a shower while at camp. Let it go. Recover what you can and move on.

June 7, 2019
Parenting Hub

New Research on the Importance of Learning through Play

The LEGO Foundation and Sesame Workshop Highlights the Importance of Learning through Play in Parent-Child Relationships in South Africa in Celebration of World Play Day The ‘Play Every Day’ program empowered caregivers to effectively guide children in learning through play in South Africa In celebration of World Play Day, the LEGO Foundation and Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit organisation behind Takalani Sesame, announced the results of a multi-country research evaluation of Play Every Day, a program designed to shift parent and caregiver perceptions about the educational value of play and to encourage play that contributes to children’s early development and learning outcomes. The impact evaluation, conducted by an external evaluator, found significant changes in parents and caregivers’ perceptions of play and play-related behaviour, as well as improved confidence of parents and caregivers as play mentors for their children. Over the course of a 12-week intervention in low-resource communities in South Africa, India and Mexico, Sesame Workshop conducted weekly in-person play workshops or home visits, in addition to reminders utilising WhatsApp and other digital platforms and community events. The research in South Africa was conducted in IsiZulu, IsiXhosa and Sesotho in the communities of Orange Farm, Alexandra, Diepsloot and Braamfontein. Caregivers participating in the Play Every Day program in South Africa reported:  Increased frequency of play by 15% Increased confidence as “play mentors” for their children through quality play time, with an increase of 18% Increased confidence using recycled materials such as plastic bottles, cans, and cardboard rolls as play objects, with an increase of 19% in South Africa An increase of 19% in the ability to make everyday activities playful An 11% increase in the link between pretend play as a foundation for academic learning The research findings will inform the upcoming Takalani Sesame ‘Learning Through Play’ Initiative, which will reach millions of children and caregivers across South Africa through television, digital media, and targeted community engagement. The findings will also inform a USD $100 Million Humanitarian Play Programto support children affected by the Rohingya and Syrian refugee crises. The Play Every Day program empowered caregivers and children to learn together, rather than in parallel, providing valuable insights for the development of caregiver-child programming. “With such a large portion of the South African population being in low-resource settings, this research is invaluable and will guide Takalani Sesame programs in South Africa. We continue to educate caregivers and teachers on the benefits that Learning through Play provides, as one of the most powerful ways for children to learn, develop and overcome setbacks,” said Innocent Nkata, Managing Director of Sesame Workshop South Africa. The facilitated workshops, implemented through local community partners, provided primary caregivers with content that is easy to replicate at home to improve caregiver confidence in playful learning techniques and provide new ideas for engagement with children, such as building toys with recycled materials and playing pretend using everyday household items. To ensure culturally relevant and effective interventions, the 12-week intervention was preceded by three pilot phases between November 2016 and May 2018 that tested a variety of play activities, materials, and methods of facilitation for each country. “The LEGO Foundation is working to build a future in which learning through play helps all children grow into creative, engaged, life-long learners. Parents and other primary caregivers are fundamental to this aim as they are children’s first teachers and playmates. We are excited about the positive results from the Play Every Day program. We hope that these insights will inspire and empower primary caregivers in in South Africa to harness the power of learning through play,” said Kerry Kassen, LEGO Foundation Initiatives Lead for South Africa. The findings have been announced as we celebrate World Play Day on 28 May. To mark this important day, Sesame Workshop and the LEGO Foundation are partnering with Cotlands and Kagiso Trust to host an event at the Multipurpose Centre in Sasolburg on 1 June 2019. Takalani Sesame Muppets Zuzu and Kami will join over 300 children to highlight this year’s World Play Day theme, “Play is a right.” The event will feature songs, dancing, and play activities for children. “We’re deeply committed to bringing learning experiences to children across South Africa through Takalani Sesame, and we too believe that play is a right for all children,” adds Mr. Nkata. “This World Play Day, we have a lot to celebrate; with the new research findings, we will be able to build upon our work to ensure that every child has access to positive, playful experiences.”  Additional highlights from the Play Every Day impact evaluation can be found online here.

June 4, 2019
Abbotts Colleges

Dealing with different personalities in a classroom

One of the first lessons every teacher learns is that, in every classroom there is a kaleidoscope of different personalities present. At any one moment, the teacher is navigating a minefield of different characters, each of which requires specific attention and handling. No two students are the same, and a good teacher is skilled enough to bounce from one student to the next, to tailor their delivery and approach to suit individual character types while remaining uniform and neutral across the board. It is not easy to accomplish and requires a lot of patience. While the individual personalities can fall anywhere on a broad scale, there are a few traits that are bound to be in every classroom. You will not fail to pick out the naturally gifted child in a classroom, or the popular kid, the shy one, the bully, the attention seeker. In this regard, teaching becomes a lot like diplomacy; it calls for a skilled and patient juggling of complex personalities that must somehow coexist together in one setting. For most teachers, dealing with most students is easy enough. There is often no need to even single out specific personalities as you teach, however there are a few personalities that are especially challenging to handle. These test the teacher, push them to the limit. The question now is, how do you deal with the bully who says mean things about other children and even to you? How can you reach that little girl who never wants to be called upon to answer a question? Here are a few tips on how to survive and indeed master the complex characters in your classroom. Put yourself in their shoes It is a universally accepted truth that interpersonal relationships are important, especially between a teacher and their student. Once a good relationship is established, barriers are broken down. Not only can the personal touch help in teaching, but it allows for the relationship to go beyond the classroom. Getting to know your students will help reveal their character to you. Subsequently, you will be able to determine what works for them. Knowing you have a genius on your hands for example, you will know to tweak the material so that they, too, feel challenged and not bored. This is why Abbotts college relies so much on the mentoring system. This enables teachers to give their own personal touch in getting to know students as individuals and to know what their future aspirations are and how we can help with them achieving their goals. If a student is acting out, the immediate reaction is anger and resentment. They are interrupting your class after all and making your life more difficult. But try and think about what it must be like for them. Put yourself in their shoes. Maybe they have problems at home and are lashing out at school. Maybe the reason Mary is not participating is because she is being bullied. Take the time to understand your students. It will help you deal better with their behavior. Master your poker face When dealing with a difficult student, try and keep a cool head. Put away the extreme emotions you are undoubtedly experiencing like frustration and anger. This will help you see the situation clearly, helping you handle it effectively. Students are very smart; they will pick up subtle indicators of your response to their actions. Often, they are testing you and pushing your buttons. They will do so until they determine your breaking point. You must therefore remain composed throughout. Speak in a soft voice that reflects your demeanor but communicate clearly and firmly. Focus on dealing with the issue at hand, and when it’s done, move on. Do not linger over it or hold a grudge. This way, your students learn a thing or two about handling conflict which will be an attitude they themselves will apply in future.  Be firm, but fair Always remember that you are their teacher and guardian first, never their friend. It is a fine line to walk, having them respect you but letting them know they can approach you if they need anything. In case of doubt, it is better to stumble on the side of certainty. Your students understand that there are rules, which you must enforce. Do not let anyone get away with rule breaking, no matter how insignificant it seems. If you let just one slip, you lose control over the classroom, and you become infinitely less effective. This will not endear you to them, but they will respect you, and they will do what is right. This does not mean, however, that you adopt a hard, unyielding stance. To err is human. Let your students know that it is okay to make a mistake, because it is a learning opportunity. This way, the punishment won’t feel like a personal slight. You should expect manipulation and bargaining and know how to deal with it. In return, reward good behavior. Be fair in your application of the rules. If you must, enlist the help of another teacher or even their parent. At the end of the day, the objective is to teach them to be responsible adults. It is important to remember that with students, no shoe fits all, so approach each student as a unique individual. Listen to them, empathize with them, and you can discipline them. Written by: James Messian, Life Sciences teacher at Abbotts Colleges Centurion

June 3, 2019
Parenting Hub

OVERWHELMED BY VOLUMES OF DIGITAL PHOTOS?

The average person uses digital photography as a way to document their life. Most people do this because it’s a memory that in 40 years’ time they will be grateful for.   By taking a picture you make a souvenir, and 1000’s of these souvenirs land up on cell phones, tablets, computers, cameras and SD cards, as well as on an array of social platforms like facebook and Instagram. And let us not forget cloud storage also. If you’re not finding the time to look through digital archives now, you’re not going to have time in the future either!  Also think how much more you’ll have accumulated by then; you’ll have loads more to sift through. Images sometimes get lost when you only have them on digital. You’ll take 300 pics and then forget about them. However, if you backup your digital photos by printing the best pictures out in a tangible format, you tend to treasure them and of course, really enjoy them more.   Technology never stops changing.  That means what is around now, might not be around in 20 years or so from now.  This is why it’s important to save irreplaceable memories and precious mementos of life, in a protected format that works for now, and the future. Backup your digital photos by printing them out in a tangible format.  Display these highlights together with other valuable and touchable irreplaceable mementos like keepsakes, achievements and art, creating a comprehensive overview of every year. Combine all these most valuable traces of childhood, then arrange them easily in an exquisite MY FILE ABOUT ME presentation that can be viewed and enjoyed regularly.  With digital technology it’s so easy to take over 30 photos or more at one special event. Over a month you can easily capture 120 photos. That means in a year its highly possible to collect over 1,500 photos or more, depending on how much of a happy snapper you are.  Multiply 1,500 photos by ten years and that gives you 15,000 (fifteen thousand) photos.  That’s an insane number of digital photos to get through in a few minutes, or in a day, in a week, a month or even in a year! With that crazy thought, my suggestion is to select at least 16 to 32 of your child’s most cherished digital photos from every year.  Doing so will allow you to create a summary of the most important events and memories for each specific year. Now print them out and keep them together.  It’s easier and more time efficient to view a small number of printed photos in one place rather than being overwhelmed by thousands and thousands stashed in the clouds, SD cards and mobile phones. More photos mean it is more time intensive to view. And seriously, do you know what photo you’ve filed where and are they in yearly order? Do you even remember what photos you have taken? If you print 32 photos per year over 10 years, you’ll have 320 photos to view. This is very much more manageable and of course more time effective to look through than 15,000 photos dotted all over the place. There’s a solution I’d like to introduce you to that will allow you to browse, in 5 minutes, 320 printed photos (150 x 100mm), chronologically in only 20 pages. That is an impressive 16 jumbo photos per page that save incredible space in a tangible way.  This breath-taking presentation reruns 18+ years of memories in less than15 minutes of active browsing. More impressive, is that this solution is refillable, expandable and totally customizable for your particular needs. It offers the opportunity to obtain additional refills that also accommodate A5, A4 and even A3 photo enlargements. And that’s all without cutting or gluing anything. More impressive, is that this revolutionary solution is multi-purpose. It not only links your yearly printed photos together, it also combines your digital photos too, along with all other keepsakes, mementos and valuables from the same year.  You’ll be amazed at how quickly and easily you can keep your child’s yearly stash of precious memoirs and valuable souvenirs of childhood. You’ll be super impressed at how orderly, neat, compact and effectively you can preserve at save physical keepsakes and memories.  One compact solution provides an entire childhood at your fingertips to revisit regularly as often as you wish.  It beautifully and effectively links tokens of an entire year together, centralizing them in a unified and truly impressive way. It further delivers a comprehensive outline of each year in a storybook fashion. Thereafter, it links each year sequentially, transporting you through an all-inclusive childhood from birth to adulthood (or pre-school to adulthood) in a very quick and accessible way.  Get all your most cherished touchable keepsakes out from piles, boxes and hidden places. (Remember: out of sight is out of mind). Now combine up to larger than A3 school art, certificates, badges, medals, CDs, DVDs, birthdays, family holidays and more with your printed photos. Then preserve and display an annual collection of memories in the all-in-one My File About Me system.  This instant overview of life’s amazing journey is an exceptionally effective and beautiful way to summarize your child’s entire life in one pleasing and space-saving patented format. I love using Forever Child. I love how it’s instant:  That instant gratification of having captured a moment with a token or two to go with it: Memories that can be made then put away and then brought out and shown to someone, not only now, but far into the future also.  It’s a lifetime investment that continues to grow in value as time moves on. .  It is a life story that can be enjoyed over and over and celebrated for generations and forever. Remember precious memories may fade and valuable mementos can get lost, but MY FILE ABOUT ME… is forever! Click here to discover a world of convenience. About the Author Eleni Korfias is a wife, mother of three

May 31, 2019
Parenting Hub

Natalija’s 20th camp anniversary at Sugar Bay

In 2015, we saw Natalija Bozovic walk through our gates on our Thailand themed holiday camp, and as we celebrate her 20th camp anniversary, she shares her journey at Sugar Bay and how camp has become her second home. “I always felt like a little bit of an outcast at school, but when I came to camp I just blended in, I was welcomed by the warmest and kindest counselors that I still hold close to my heart to this day.”  With Walnut being one of the camp counselors that helped her push through her insecurities, Natalija dreams of being a camp counselor so she can help other kids come out of their shell. “I already have a camp counselor name! That’s how serious I am. In 2 years I will be doing my C.I.T (Counselor-In-Training) course and I’m pretty excited about it.” Quick Q&A  1. What has been your favourite themed holiday camp and why?  “Definitely Thailand week! It was the start of me finding my voice. I found a place where I could be myself fully.”  2. If you could travel anywhere in the in the world where would it be and why?  “This is going to sound a little cliche, but it would have to be Hawaii. I mean who wouldn’t want to go there? The beaches are so gorgeous.”  3. What’s the one thing people don’t know about you?  “I’m into science. I won first place in a science fair, and I went on to compete nationally where I got a silver medal. My experiment was on how fruit juices and soft drinks affect your teeth. I think I changed a lot of perceptions on fruit juices and soft drinks. Hahahahahaha.”  4. What’s your favourite party-starter song for the weekend?  Believe it or not, I’m into Abba. So Dancing Queen by Abba. Mama Mia put me on!  South Africa’s first and only American-style summer camp, Sugar Bay provides children of ages 7-17 with the most fun and memorable holidays imaginable. With over 100 activities, the latest equipment and first-rate facilities, Sugar Bay gives children the freedom to enjoy themselves within a safe and secure environment. If your teen would like to become a professional instructor in one of Sugar Bay’s certified activities, you should consider enrolling them in a Counselor-In-Training course. For more information, contact Sugar Bay on (032) 485 3778 or email [email protected]. You can also read more about Sugar Bay’s certified activities on their website.

May 30, 2019
Kaboutjie

Why Your Child Should Be Getting An Allowance

If your child has just started learning the difference between bills and coins, it won’t be long till they’re asking for their own share. And while that might be a little scary for you – they grow up so fast – there are lots of really good reasons to start giving your children an allowance. So if you’re on the fence about whether you think your kids are ready for some responsibility, here are four reasons why an allowance might be a good idea. Reason #1 – They learn how to budget When your child starts receiving an allowance, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to introduce them to budgeting. Because they’re now dealing with their own money, kids learn how to start prioritising where it goes – how much goes towards lunch money or after school treats, toys or video games. By teaching them to work to a budget you’ll be giving them a lesson in self control. That’s not always an easy lesson for kids to learn, but making the effort to curb bad habits when they’re young can prevent a lifelong habit of impulse spending. And that’s becoming increasingly important these days. Mozo conducted research into Australia’s obsession with post-pay layby service, Afterpay and found that 1 in 4 shoppers using the service experienced financial stress. That points to a worrying trend of overspending in Aussie adults and high personal debt, which appears to be a global trend. So the sooner your child gets into the habit of spending within their means, the better they’ll become at managing expenses later on in life. [ads2] Reason #2 – It’ teaches them how to set financial goals Budgeting goes hand-in-hand with setting financial goals, which for kids, usually means saving up to buy something they really want. And although owning the latest Mickey Mouse Play Doh set requires a little less work than buying a home, setting small goals builds good habits, like dedication and commitment. Knowing that you won’t just be buying them things they want and instead, when they want it, they’ll have to save their allowance starts kids on the path to thinking about their money long-term. It also means they’ll learn the skill of prioritising their spending and making hard decisions, like whether they want a treat right now, or extra spending money when your family goes on holiday at the end of the year. Let them pick their own short and long term goals, whether it’s the latest video game or a new toy, that way, the payoff will be meaningful to them. And as they inch closer to their goal, they’ll see the value in putting money away. One fun way to keep them on track is to design a motivation board. Grab some glue and stick pictures of their ‘goals’ onto cardboard, before hanging it in their bedroom where they can see it everyday. And if your child isn’t one for arts and crafts, many savings accounts offer virtual planners and activities to help kids manage their money online. The other thing to keep in mind is to make sure that if you’re encouraging your child to set savings goals, their allowance is enough to let them actually reach that goal within a reasonable amount of time. For instance, while a teenager might be willing to wait to buy their first car, a child in elementary school hoping to land a new LEGO set might not stay interested after a couple of months. So do the math and make sure that they’re not setting their expectations higher than your wallet can afford. Reason #3 – They’ll reap the benefits of saving If there’s one virtue that’s lost on many children, it’s patience. But by keeping your child from running to the lolly aisle at the first chance they get, they’ll enjoy one of the long-term benefits of saving – compound interest. The longer kids have savings stashed away, the more time there is for compound interest to work its magic and grow their funds. So give them a place to stash their new ‘income’ by opening up a savings account, so they can make regular deposits and start earning interest today. Then, by the time they finish high school, they’ll have a nice little stash to take away to college, go travelling or just to keep in case of emergencies. If you really want to give them a head start, it might be a good idea to match their savings to help them stay focused, like adding an extra $10 a week. Because if you did this from the age of 5, they’d have a whopping $6,240 by their 18th birthday – not too shabby of a gift! [ads2] #4 – It’ll give them a taste of independence Many kids just can’t wait to be treated like an adult and having their own money, especially if they’re taking out the trash every night or keeping their room tidy to earn it, is a great first step towards that kind of independence. Having their own money means they can start to make more independent decisions about how they want to use it, which can keep them motivated to continue saving. They might even decide to try a new hobby or learn a new skill with their newfound wealth which gives them a chance to work out who they are as a person. Financial independence can be addictive! If you’re the parent of a teenager, you could make things interesting by giving ‘salary negotiation’ a go. Sit down with them and talk about the quality and quantity of work they do around the house, then discuss whether their current allowance reflects this accurately. Even though they’re a long way away from doing this with an actual employer, it does give them the chance to test drive their negotiation skills and put their own price on their time and effort. Just don’t be surprised if they get too clever and start organising monthly negotiations! The next step –

May 30, 2019
The Bridge Assisted Learning School

The Silent One

A school is not a quiet place. In my experience children constantly talk and more often than not they talk at the same time. Keeping everyone quiet in class can be a big challenge.  Then there have been a few occasions where I have taught a child who doesn’t talk at all.  The silent one. They were not only quiet and shy but did not talk at all!  This is how I have learned about and experienced ‘Selective Mutism.’ According to Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder.  These children prefer not to talk in social settings as a result of the extreme anxiety they feel. It is important to know that many children with Selective Mutism were early speakers without any speech delays/disorders.    Parents are often confused and surprised when they get feedback that their child never communicates at school as these children are often loud and boisterous at home and extremely verbal.  Proving that they are able to selectively speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable and relaxed. These children become mute in any setting where they are expected to talk. This can be experienced in public places such as a restaurant, family gatherings and then of course the school environment where social interaction is constantly required. According to Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blumi it is common for a child with selective mutism to have a blank facial expression.  In my own classroom I have found that they tend to ‘disappear’.  They do not want anyone to notice them and are fearful of being put ‘on the spot.’ So how do you as a teacher handle a child with Selective Mutism?  The most important thing to focus on is dealing with the anxiety.  Be aware of the child’s tendency to ‘disappear’ in class of their quietness. Remove all pressure and expectations for the child to speak.  Try to treat the child as normal as all the other children in your class. Do not make an issue of the fact that the child does not want to talk.  As a teacher there is a tendency to talk for the child or to only give them yes or no questions.  Your job as teacher is not to make the child speak but rather to minimise the anxiety in the classroom activities for the child. In some instances, these children develop one or a few friendships and will whisper or even speak to a few children in school especially on the playground. They do experience the need for social interaction. They might also communicate nonverbally in class by nodding their heads or pointing if they need to answer a question. Nonverbal communication is acceptable when the child is new to the classroom environment. However, strategies and interventions need to be put in place to help the child to progress from nonverbal to verbal communication.   Seat the child to the side of the classroom, preferably not in front or in the centre where everyone can see them.  Avoid eye contact at first.  In my own experience it is better to gain the child’s trust by not putting any kind of pressure on them, but also not by excluding them from the classroom activities. I have found that sometimes it works to create spontaneous opportunities for the child to speak.  For example, if we do counting on the carpet I will go around and throw a ball randomly to each child. That child must then give the next number.  The children enjoy this and get very excited.  I have experienced that the children with selective mutism get so involved and excited with the other children that when they catch the ball they sometimes give the answer as there is not enough time to register the anxiety around talking.  That can be a big moment for you as a teacher, but it is very important to not make a big deal out of it. Just continue with the game and act as if this is normal behaviour for the child.   It is important to know as a teacher that these children can be referred to specialists that can assist with medical treatments and advice in order to reduce anxiety, the main culprit behind selective mutism. By: Wilma du Toit, Grade 2 teacher, The Bridge Assisted Learning School 

May 24, 2019
OneAid

How To Make The Medicine Go Down

It’s stressful when your kids are sick and even more stressful when they refuse to take their medicines. Not to mention the icky stickiness that is almost impossible to wash off your skin. In this blog I will share with you some tips I have learnt over the years to help make the medicine go down. 1. Disguise the taste Many over the counter liquid medications available for kids are flavoured. Look on the bottle to see which flavour you are buying. Some brands have different options for the same drug such as Panado’s strawberry and peppermint flavours. Some brands may have the same flavours but taste different. My daughter prefers the strawberry flavour of Calpol than that of Panado. If the medication needs to be made up by a pharmacist, ask them to flavour the medication if possible.  Unfortunately, some meds just taste awful and not all pharmacies stock flavourings. You’ll need to get creative here. You can mix the liquid with fresh fruit or vegetable juice and even honey (if your child is over one year). You can also try mixing meds with milk or yoghurt but the calcium may interfere with the effects of some medications, particularly with certain antibiotics. Acidic foods may also inactivate some antibiotics. It’s important to ask your pharmacist and read the patient information leaflet before you decide to try this method. If you are hiding the medication in a food or drink, keep the volume small so that the entire dose can be taken. Don’t mix with a full bottle or cup of juice if your child will not finish this. 2. Equipment I always use a syringe and squirt the medicine along the inside of the cheeks and not onto the tongue. This way you can bypass the taste buds a little. You can also use a medicine dropper the same way. Slide the syringe or dropper along the cheek towards the back of the mouth and squirt the medicine slowly. Do not aim for the throat as your child will gag and cough and if you aim too far in front of the mouth the medicine will simply be spat out. Using a syringe also allows you to give correct dosages. In kids it’s vital you give the correct dosage of medication. You can wash and reuse the syringes but after a while you should replace them.  3. Keep it chilled You can also numb the taste buds beforehand. Your child can suck on a block of ice if he or she is older or you could try an ice-lolly for a younger child. Some medications can also be stored in the fridge, which can make them taste better. 4. Wash it down Whilst Mary Poppins recommended a spoonful of sugar, I’m not sure many of us moms will be too happy with the after effects of this sugar rush before bedtime.  Have a glass of water or your child’s favourite drink on standby to drink as soon as they swallow just so they can wash their taste buds.  5. Coat the taste buds You can try giving your child a spoonful of something thick and sweet such as maple syrup or honey to coat the tongue before giving the medicine.  6. Try a tablet instead Some liquid medicines are available as chewables. If your child is old enough you can try these. Whilst there are some tablets that can be crushed and mixed with food. Speak to your doctor or pharmacist before you do this.  You may also find dissolvable tablets. Dissolve the tablet in a small glass of water and add some fruit juice to hide the taste as these can be extremely bitter.  7. Give your child some control You will find that your kids will be more willing to take their medicine if they are in control or at least think they are. Allow them to choose when to take their medicine, for example, before or after the bath. They can also choose what flavour medicine they would like when you are buying it for them.  IF IT WORKS, STICK TO IT You might find that more than one trick is necessary. If you have found a technique that works, stick to it. A while back I tried using one of those fancy medicine syringes I got at my baby shower instead of a simple syringe (I had actually forgotten to replace the ones I had thrown out). These syringe type medicine feeders are quite big and I couldn’t get it far enough to the back of the mouth to bypass the taste buds. My daughter did not like this at all and I ended up wearing most of the medicine!  Do you have any other tricks or tips to get your kids to take medicine? Please share in the comments section below! If your little one requires medicine on a regular basis, here is a medicine chart to help you organise the days and quantities: https://www.oneaid.co.za/resources/

May 23, 2019
Impaq

Top Tips on How to Ace Your Physical Sciences Exam

The June Examination might already be underway but that does not mean that you can’t still ace your Physical Sciences exam. The affordable Quanta Book series for Grade 10 to 12 learners makes Physical Sciences interesting and fun! The preparation books, available in English and Afrikaans, contain bite-sized explanations that are easy to understand, and to-the-point summaries enriched with hints and tips. The books also come with DVDs containing cartoons, animations and demonstrations to help you visualise difficult concepts.

May 23, 2019
StudyChamp

Are homework and assessments all bad?

Recently a lot has been said about the pressures of homework and assessments especially on prep school level. Many schools have subsequently adapted their policies around homework and assessments – either ‘banning’ homework or drastically lessening the load. The question that should be asked is not whether a learner should be given homework or be assessed. It should rather be how these two very valuable and necessary aspects of education should be managed to best benefit learners. It is important to remember why children are encouraged to ‘work at home’ ie. do homework. In a normal school day, a learner will be exposed to new information in at least four subjects. Keep in mind that all this new information is introduced in periods ranging between 30 minutes and an hour – a short time to really process and understand what you have learnt. For the average child, this information will most probably go in the one ear and out the other with little retention.  That is where the value of learning or revising at home comes in. If all children were naturally self-disciplined with a love for learning, this would not be an issue. Children would then revise by themselves, because they would be so interested in what they have learnt at school that day, that they would naturally want to talk about it and revise it. Sadly, we all know that this is not true. Most children won’t spare a moment’s thought about what they have learnt once they have left the classroom. This is why teachers have no choice but to give homework in order to ensure that crucial concepts are engrained in children’s brains.  What can however be questioned is the type and amount of homework given. The idea behind working at home should be to further establish an understanding of concepts learnt at school.  Homework should not be something that is hastily given just before the end of the period. Teachers should upfront give learners a purposeful exercises that will enhance what the children will learn on that given day. Homework has no benefit if it wastes time and is a mere repetition of tasks without any learning. For example: Grade 5 learners are introduced to equivalent fractions in Mathematics. Instead of giving a sheet of homework where leaners have to complete ten questions on the topic, rather ask them to find equivalent fractions in daily life. Take an apple or a slab of chocolate and divide in half and again in half and again in half and see that   Draw a diagram of your ‘experiment’ and bring that to school. Grade 6 learners are learning about the difference between weather and climate. Video tape yourself explaining this difference using examples to a family member. Unfortunately, not all homework can always be ‘experiments’. Sometimes you have to simply sit on your bum and practice.   “Children should be encouraged to read, write, perform arithmetic and better understand the world around them.” Maurice J. Elias, Edutopia Another benefit of working at home is that problem areas can be highlighted before a learner is assessed on the topic. If your child for instance battles to complete his ten fractions problems, he will definitely battle to complete the assessment later on. Teachers should therefore plan homework to help learners grasp complex concepts. It goes without saying that the teacher should also check homework daily to be alerted to problem areas. At its very essence – the purpose of homework is to teach leaners to think, apply their knowledge and solve problems.  Maybe the solution to this very contentious problem is balance, as with everything in life.  Homework should enhance learning, without being senseless. Homework should be little steps, followed daily, to eventually complete an assessment successfully.

May 23, 2019
Munchkins

Dare to Discipline your Darlings!

“Discipline” has received swearword status in many modern parenting circles. It is now quite trendy to withdraw from being the disciplinary figure in favour of being a child’s friend. While this is mostly well intended (and evokes wonderful images of parent and child roaming around like Calvin and Hobbes all day), it can be harmful to both parties.  This inclination towards permissive parenting is mostly the result of a misunderstanding of true discipline and what children need to thrive. Many of us dislike the idea of discipline because we imagine a big, angry person dishing out harsh punishments and forcing his or her selfish will onto an innocent, vulnerable child. (Are you also seeing Cinderella’s stepmom? Or sadly, maybe one of your own parents?) Well yes, no child should be subjected to this type of authoritarian parenting, which sits at the other end of the spectrum.  Fortunately, there is an alternative to these two extremes. It’s called authoritative parenting. This entails parents who are exceptionally nurturing and responsive to their children, but who also believe in discipline: They have high standards and consistently enforce clearly defined boundaries. Studies found the product to be happier, more successful, more socially adept children who exhibit less behavioural problems. I’m sure all of us want that for our munchkins! Defining Discipline What does healthy discipline look like? Discipline is gentle mentorship. It entails an older, wiser person coming alongside an ignorant child (who is still but a glorified bundle of primal, selfish impulses) and helping him to make good choices that will ultimately benefit and protect himself and others. It is a long-term process of training, teaching and yes, sometimes correction. Discipline means setting clear boundaries with predictable, consistent consequences if they are crossed. True discipline is not born from anger, spite, frustration or selfish needs. It is not a parent’s licence to get his own will or “stay in control”. The crucial cornerstone A loving, supportive relationship with a child is the precursor to any form of parenting success. This includes being sensitive to a child’s temperament.  If our children do not feel nurtured, understood and cherished, they have no reason to trust and obey the boundaries we set for them, except out of fear. This is where “friendship” comes in, although my underaged child should not be my buddy! There must be an obvious hierarchy where the parent is the one who calls the important shots.  Why children need discipline? Dr. James Dobson makes a classic comparison: If you were to drive on a bridge without railings, you would probably drive closer towards the middle of the road, and even then you’d feel anxious. Railings are equivalent to boundaries – when they are present, we feel secure and actually experience less restriction. If children do not know where the lines are, they have no notion of how far they can go before something awful happens, and therefore they feel insecure. (Note: This does not mean that they won’t test the boundaries you put up! They are still human.) Furthermore, discipline has long-term, life-altering effects. If we allow our children to be guided by their own will, we breed adults who have no self-control. A four-year-old taking cookies from the pantry may seem cute; a 15-year-old taking alcohol from the bar, not so much; a 30-year-old taking money from his company – downright criminal. Not all undisciplined children end up lawless, but it’s much harder for them to become agreeable, successful adults.  Why parents need it? If our goal is to be our child’s friend, we are looking for double trouble. In the first place, we set ourselves up for rejection, because most children do not want a parent as their best friend, and will soon go looking for a more suitable playmate. Ouch! Secondly, we set ourselves up for chaos. Without discipline, we subject ourselves to the fickle, immature will of our children as the reigning force in the home. We’re speaking a person not yet able to spell “orderliness” deciding how the household is run…  How discipline differs from punishment Punishment is merely a component of discipline, and certainly not the most important one. It allows a child to experience a negative consequence for deliberately misbehaving. It is a momentary procedure in the ongoing act of discipline. Provided the punishment is not too harsh (instilling fear or rebellion) or too mild (effectively making a mockery of the practice and encouraging further misconduct), it is an effective tool in our discipline kit. It teaches children that the world works according to rules, and that it is unpleasant or even dangerous not to follow them. They will inevitably encounter this law of life – better it is introduced by someone who loves them. Read more about punishment here.  Remember that our end game is to raise optimally functional, emotionally stable, altruistic adults. To this purpose, I dare you to discipline!

May 22, 2019
Parenting Hub

Empathy skills are Key to better learning

Nelson Mandela famously stated that education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. At the same time however, our education system is in crisis. According to Cindy Glass, Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres, “Negative behaviours such as aggression, bullying, disrespect toward teachers and peers, intolerance and demotivation seem to be hindering our children’s ability to learn effectively and this has resulted in the learning experience, in general, becoming one of distrust, anxiety, stress and misery. Our innate need to learn is being destroyed by negative human behaviours and relationships and this equates to an ever-increasing lack of empathy skills.” She adds that it takes a village to raise a child and it is time that parents step in and step up to help change the way their children see themselves and the people in their world.  The one life skill that she believes can change this is empathy. “This all-important life skill is the ability to identify with another person’s feelings and experiences. Empathy essentially allows children to ‘walk’ in another’s shoes and it teaches them to genuinely have respect for others, even in difficult circumstances.  It teaches kindness, compassion and listening skills. Empathy teaches children to seek the good in others and to embrace differing beliefs and cultures. Empathy helps children to seek positive solutions to difficulties and challenges, without intending hurt for another.  Just imagine the possibilities in learning if our children could master the skill of empathy!” Cindy gives 5 helpful tips to teach your child to become more empathetic: YOU are your child’s first and longest-lasting teacher: Your child is more likely to do what you do, rather than what you say. It is up to you to model, instruct and expect your child to care about and behave respectfully toward others. Teach your child to express himself in a positive way: If he is upset, teach him to express the feelings he is experiencing in words so that a positive solution can be found. Allow uncomfortable conversations that need expression. Avoidance will lead to feelings of shame and even anger and this could lead to your child making negative choices in a bid to deal with suppressed emotions.   Teach your child to allow others to express their feelings in the same way: This leads to listening skills. Teach your child to learn to listen to understand the other person without the need for defensive responses. Listen with an open, non-judgemental mind. Genuinely hear what others are saying. Strive to create a meaningful, face-to-face connection with your children: Social media has desensitised us in so many ways that meaningful, wholehearted human relationships are becoming rare! People make-up and break-up over the phone. Some of the most misunderstood arguments and hurtful words are given over a digitised device. Nothing can replace face-to-face positive human connection and relationships. Teach your children to value themselves, their strengths and their weaknesses: Remember that we are only able to treat others based on how we feel about ourselves. Teach them of their worthiness to love and be loved. Teach them the value of each human being walking the earth with them- do we not ALL share the same human spirit? Do we not all bleed, cry, smile and breathe in the same way? Just as you teach your children to respect themselves, so we MUST teach them to respect others, to choose kindness and to master the skill of empathy.

May 21, 2019
Impaq

The Power of Positive Recognition

“I believe the children are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.” Whitney Houston We all have a need for recognition. No matter how big or how small, the words “well done” makes anyone feel proud of themselves. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. A lack of recognition leads to feelings of inferiority and incompetence. Parents should keep in mind that children’s sense of self is shaped by the message they receive from those around them, especially their parents, teachers and caregivers.  It is important to note that parents should not only give recognition for what their children achieved but also for who they are – as this is part of being loved unconditionally. When children fail but tried their best, their efforts should be praised. Children’s personal growth should not be attached to success and performance but to their efforts and their willingness to try.  The best way to motivate your child to behave well and strengthen the effectiveness of any discipline is to make sure that you praise your child more often than you criticise your child. Try to catch them when they are good and comment on it. Your approval is what shapes their behaviour. Faber and Mazlish give clear guidelineson how to praise children in their book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (1982). They advise that when you praise a child, instead of evaluating them, you should describe what you see (I see a clean floor, a smooth bed and books neatly lined up on the shelf). You should then describe what you feel (It is a pleasure to walk into this room). And thirdly, sum up your child’s praiseworthy behaviour with a word (You sorted out your blocks, your cars and animals in separate boxes – that is what I call organisation). Praising children by following these guidelines will motivate them to want to be more cooperative and to try their best. When you praise your kids, they get the message that they are loved and that what they do is acceptable and appreciated. Praising your children in this way will help them learn to recognise that what they did is special and that they can take pride in it. They can learn to praise themselves and to recognise and value their own efforts and talents. Linda van Niekerk is an educational psychologist with her own private practice in Pretoria. She works with children of all ages. Contact her on 082 567 9156 or send an email to [email protected]. 

May 16, 2019
Parenting Hub

The critical link between extra mural activities and effective learning

Let’s consider what it takes to transform rough diamonds into the magnificence that we admire in beautifully polished, sought-after stones.  Taking a ‘rock’ and making it into a thing of beauty involves processes that take place in several stages. At each stage, the diamond cutter or jeweler uses specific tools and applies different methods to bring out the unique diamond waiting within. Cindy Glass, Owner and Co-Founder of Step Up Education Centres says, “Just imagine what we would achieve if we allowed multifaceted opportunities of learning to shape and mold our children into the magnificent, unique beings they were born to be!” The very essence of being human means that we are not one-dimensional beings. We have bodies that move and an ability to think, act creatively and with great imagination, if we are allowed and encouraged to do so. “Why is it, then, that we define education in terms of academics and academic achievement alone?  Why do we place so much emphasis on sitting quietly and learning from texts? What would become of a diamond’s potential if only one of the many processes was prioritised over the others?” Cindy asks. She adds that extra mural activities that involve the arts, drama, music or sports are essential to the holistic development of young minds and bodies. She emphasises the fact that children who participate in extra mural activities benefit from making new friends, finding their talents, developing self-confidence, learning social skills and increasing problem-solving and critical thinking skills.  In addition, exercise ensures a healthier lifestyle, greater body confidence, a more positive outlook on life and learning, and reduced anxiety and stress. “Children who are relaxed, confident and happy are more effective learners!” says Cindy. She gives 6 helpful tips to encourage your child to participate in extra mural activities: Be excited about the available opportunities: Help your child to choose an activity that they would enjoy. Consider your child’s strengths and weaknesses and choose an activity that would add value to your child’s positive growth and development. Allow your child to make the decision: This is not about what YOU would enjoy or what you THINK your child would enjoy. Respecting differences and preferences in our families will go a long way to fostering an environment of holistic education. Encourage and insist on commitment: Unless there is a solid reason for needing to pull out of an activity (the activity is not adding any positive value). This will teach your child valuable skills in responsibility, determination and resilience. Practice makes perfect: Remind your child that learning anything new can take time and patience. Encourage creativity and imagination, determination and effort: Never forget that extra mural activities are there to encourage growth and learning. Your child is not a professional actor, artist, musician or sportsperson. Encourage fun and participation, sportsmanship and integrity. Balance is key to effective holistic learning: Academic and extra mural activities go hand-in-hand. Do NOT expect your children to do more than they are able to. This is just counter-productive and will lead to a negative learning experience. Each child is different, but nobody can keep up a schedule that leaves no room to just rest and breathe. “Just like a diamond needs a variety of processes to become a polished gem. So our children need to participate in a variety of activities to reach their full potential. Go for it!” Cindy concludes.

May 16, 2019
StudyChamp

Tutors – Trend or Necessity?

Children these days are expected to perform in every aspect of their lives from a very young age. Academic pressure has definitely increased and with many moms working and not always being available to help with test preparation and homework, the logical option is to appoint a tutor.  StudyChamp spoke to Tracy Hoyer, a tutor from Pretoria on all the pitfalls and pleasures of helping children (and parents) to take the agony out of homework and test preparations.  About Tracy  Tracy is a qualified teacher and taught for eight years. While teaching she was continuously asked by parents if she knew any tutors who could help their kids. She quickly realised that there was a huge demand. That was four years ago. Today she runs a successful tutoring business with clients from all over Pretoria.  SC: What are the benefits of a tutor?  TH: Many parents work full-time and don’t always have the time (nor the energy) to sit with their children and tackle the massive work load that they come home with. They often end up fighting with the children and it is unpleasant for the whole family. This is where a tutor comes in. I help children with homework, classwork and test preparation. I take the pressure off the parents, and the children are happy to learn more.  SC: What should one look for in a tutor? TH: It all depends on what type of assistance you are looking for. I do mostly one-on-one tutoring and honestly prefer this type of tutoring as children work at different paces. Questions that you should ask are: How many children are there in a session? Does the tutor do work customised specifically for your child or is it general work? What experience does the tutor have? Are they qualified teachers with previous knowledge on the specific subject your child needs help with?  Tutors need to be able to help the child without having preparation time. Children arrive at my lessons and say “Ma’am I have a test next week on exponents.” And I need to be able to help them right there and then.  SC: Extra lessons vs Tutoring? TH: I view extra lessons as something the class teacher would maybe give a few kids after school or during break time. Tutoring for me however is more individualised and specialised for the learner.  SC: Is tutoring only for struggling students?     TH: Definitely not! I have 90% achievers coming to me for lessons. Firstly they enjoy the lessons, but more importantly they want to keep on achieving excellent results. I have to make sure though that these learners don’t get bored, so I often give them work of a much higher standard than what is expected of them.  My learners range from the 40% achievers striving for their 50/60% all the way through to the 80/90% aiming to keep their results at the top.  SC: Should parents be involved in the tutoring process? TH: Parental involvement is crucial to tutoring being a success. Firstly, as a tutor I need to be aware of any areas of concern that needs to be worked on, as well as being kept in the loop about what is happening with classwork, tests, assignments etc. It is very frustrating if parents do not communicate, because as a teacher I know that tests count quite a lot towards the term mark.  I always say tutoring cannot be a success by itself. I can only do as much as I can in the short amount of time I see a child. The child and parents still need to put in effort at home when it comes to tests and exams. The child must also pay attention in class and have a good attitude, otherwise there will not be a significant improvement.  SC: What resources do you use? TH: In the past, I always had to make my own worksheets and tests for my learners, but recently I was introduced to StudyChamp. What a breath of fresh air this website is! It has made my job a hundred times easier. There is something for all my learners, all the grades and all the subjects. It is so applicable to what my children are doing in class, I am blown away every time I download a workbook or test. I have also introduced StudyChamp to my learners’ parents and they are also loving being able to do extra work with their children at home.  If you are in need of a tutor in the Pretoria East Area:  ContactTracy HoyerfromTracy’s Tutoring [https://www.facebook.com/tracystutoring427/]  in Lynnwood Glen. She teaches Grade 4-7s in all the subjects.  Contact Ingrid Stokes from Growing minds [https://www.facebook.com/growingmindseducation/]. She teaches Grade 4-7s in all the subjects. 

May 15, 2019
The Bridge Assisted Learning School

Choose to be the role model your child wished to be

Many people will easily argue that the greatest gift to children is an education. Whilst most agree with this statement, some may disagree with the many references to education meaning a matric, and or, a degree. Without playing down the importance of a qualification, there is so much more to education. Education is about life.

May 13, 2019
Abbotts Colleges

Avoid the Procrastination

Having a plan is always a good idea, however not everything goes according to plan, therefore considering the everchanging world we live in, adaptability becomes more important every day. The need for planning remains imperative to avoid procrastination, discourse and discouragement. The 6 steps below can provide guidance on creating a plan that suits your lifestyle: Step 1 – Organise your living/working space This will not only with assist with decluttering your space but also your mind. Having an organised space will motivate you to accomplish other tasks.  Step 2 – What needs to be done? Write down all the tasks you need to complete. At this stage the focus is the end game, what you want to achieve.  Priority of tasks, scheduling and resources needed to accomplish these tasks are not important at this stage.  Step 3 – Prioritise your tasks and resources Assign a deadline to completing each task, this will assist with prioritising your attention to what needs to be accomplished first.  Be aware of what resources are needed to accomplish these tasks efficiently and effectively. This will also assist with prioritising the completion of tasks.  Display your tasks as a reminder of what needs to be achieved.  Example: Matriculate Cum Laude Step 4 –  Set SMART goals Creating SMART goals will assist with achieving every goal set. Below is a framework of what should be included in a goal. Specific Don’t generalise what needs to be achieved, the more specific the task the easier it is to achieve. Measurable  How can a task be completed if there’s nothing to measure it against? Including a measurement aspect to a goal assists with knowing how much you’ve achieved. Attainable  Is this goal physically and mentally attainable? Do you have the capabilities to achieve this goal? Relevant The goal created needs to assist with achieving the ultimate task mentioned in step 2. Time Include a period as to when this goal needs to be completed. This assists with scheduling and integrating other tasks that must be achieved.  Write your goals down and display it as a reminder of the tasks ahead.  Example: To Achieve 90% in English every school term. Step 5 – How to achieve your goals? Create as many tactics that work together needed to achieve the set goal.  Example: Read over English work covered in class as homework.   Read over work that will be covered in the next class.  Step 6 – Visual schedule Create a visual schedule to look at as a reminder of what needs to be done and to tick off tasks to create a sense of accomplishment. Include free/leisure time into your schedule and ensure that enough time is planned to complete a task incase the “unpredictable” happens and you need to adapt your plan to suit these changes.  Technology has blessed us with applications that provide some of these steps however the act of writing your tasks down and displaying it in your working space can be more motivating to complete these desired tasks. It creates a greater sense of order and achievement.  Remember to always enjoy what you do as there is no point to doing something that creates stress and unhappiness. This however goes hand in hand with a good plan that balances your time fairly and realistically.  Written by: Abbotts Colleges

May 7, 2019
StudyChamp

Never do tomorrow what you can do today…

“Or is this always true?” asks many a procrastinator. Most children, especially teenagers have mastered the art of procrastinating – a big word for putting off everything that seems like work and rather spending time on electronic devices. According to Tim Pychyl, a Procrastinating Researcher at Carlton University, Ottawa, Canada, it is quite simple: People procrastinate to do tasks that they find aversive. Tasks are generally considered aversive if they are: Boring or mundane  Children will usually find tasks boring if it is below their level of skill or not challenging enough. Frustrating  A child with poor fine motor skills who for example have to lace small beads on a string will most probably resist. Difficult   Just as tasks should not be below a child’s level of skill, it should also not be too difficult. “Fear of Failure” is a powerful form of procrastination. “I will rather not start than show you that I cannot do it.” Not interesting or fall within their specific interests Children have different talents and we all like doing the things that we like and are good at. A child will happily prepare for the exams for a subject that they find interesting, but will avoid the subjects they don’t like.  Unstructured  This one is for the teachers and parents. Children thrive in structured environments where they feel secure. They are therefore more likely to complete tasks that are well structured. Having said all of this, we all know that unfortunately, some tasks just need to be done, whether you find them boring, too difficult or are not interested in them. Studying for exams comes to mind… Don’t despair. Here’s a few tips that you can use to help your children (and yourselves) to “grab the bull by the horns” and get it done. 1. Just start  The most important thing is to start. No wonder Nike chose ‘just do it’ as their payoff line. A child that is not willing to start studying will do anything to delay the start, from cleaning their own rooms to sharpening pencils …  A good rule to help your child start is to select the task that takes the least time to complete. If your child for instance has to write an essay on Global Warming (boring!) and have ten math sums to complete, rather start with the math. Completing a task gives a sense of achievement.  “When you start entertaining thoughts such as: ‘I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow,’ ‘I work better under pressure,’ ‘There’s lots of time left,’ I can do this in a few hours tonight’, let that be a flag or signal or stimulus to indicate that you are about to needlessly delay the task, and let it also be the stimulus to just get started.”  David Allen “Getting things done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity” 2. Turn a boring task into a little competition or game Practising mental math, for example, can be boring for someone who only likes to do problem solving.  Compete against your child to make it fun. For example: How many times tables sums can be done correctly in two minutes? 3. Break challenging tasks into smaller chunks That essay on Global Warming is quite challenging as it involves research, drafts, searching for images, actually writing or typing it and making a list of references.  If you break this one task into five more doable tasks, it will not seem that daunting. For this method to be successful though, you have to start in advance and then complete only one or two of these tasks per day. 4. Make a “To-Do” list Ticking off a task that has been completed gives an enormous sense of achievement.  With exams approaching, the “To-Do” list will be the study schedule, with small tasks for every day, that can be ticked off.  5. Remove all distractions Nothing distracts from a task at hand as interruptions. We are all guilty – checking the phone every time it peeps, constantly checking new emails, having the TV on in the background and the list goes on … Allow breaks after every 20 minutes for “distractions”, but be careful to break for too long. After a ten-minute break the enormity of the task at hand will return and the vicious cycle of procrastination will start again. It is true that some of us work better under pressure (i.e. an excuse for procrastination), but if a child understands the value of tackling tasks head-on early in their lives, they will be saved from many stressful hours meeting deadlines later in life. So, before you put off another task – remember what Anthony Robbins said: “The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.” Information adapted from: http://alifeofproductivity.com/why-you-procrastinate-10-tactics-to-help-you-stop/

May 7, 2019
Abbotts Colleges

What to do if you’re child is the bully

Bullying at school is common and the source of much misery and discomfort for many students and their parents in turn. The effects can be long lasting for the victim’s health and wellbeing, sometimes even having fatal consequences. Teachers are trained to help combat this anti-social behaviour and parents as well as students have access to many outside support structures that give guidance on how to overcome the effects of bullying.   Parents, often, only see their child as a possible victim and therefore, guide their child on how to avoid being bullied. It is rare for parents to consider that their child might be the bully. This is understandable; after all, acknowledging that your child is a bully, is possibly an indictment on you as a parent. Sadly, we are well aware that bullying at schools is rife; someone is doing it. Frighteningly, it could very well be your child. One should recognise and acknowledge this possibility and remedy such behaviour patterns immediately. Your child could see denying the occurrence or ignoring the problem as acceptance of this anti-social behaviour. The long-term consequences of being a bully are scary. Bullies are prone to mental illness later in life. They continue to be aggressive and even violent. According to stopbullying.govbullying is a risk factor for depression and thinking about suicide. Children who bully others, are bullied, or both bully and are bullied are more likely to think about or attempt suicide than those who are not involved in bullying at all. Therefore, if you notice some of the following signs, it is time to step in and get help for your child as mentioned by Sheeri Gordon on Tips for addressing bullying by your child(2019): Your child is often in the company of other bullies Your child is constantly criticising and insulting other children to the extent that they feel belittled and offended Your child is regularly violating the school’s code of conduct and in trouble at school  Your child actively invites kids over but turns down a couple that used to be included Your child is obsessed with being popular Your child is aggressive physically and/or verbally Your child is uncompassionate and has no concern for those that suffer  Your child avoids you and spends too much time alone at home Address the bullying without delay; don’t hope that it will stop. Your child must know that you explicitly disapprove of the behaviour and that they will be disciplined. It must be clearly understood that bullying is inexcusable. However, the appropriate disciplinary measures can only be taken if you know why your child is bullying someone else. Identify the reasons, for example, your child may be bullying others because they want to be part of a popular group. You should address the importance of keeping the right company and not succumbing to peer pressure. Remember to let the punishment fit the crime. A knee jerk reaction is likely to make matters worse.   Taking away privileges is a tried and tested form of discipline for teens and is very effective. For example, you can take away electronics, watching TV and the privilege of attending parties or special events. The list is endless. Ensure that that you don’t give in at any point and stick to the length of time that the privilege will be revoked.  Collaborate with the school and show full support for the school’s code of conduct.  Don’t attempt to rescue them from the consequences of their actions. Once this is done, your child will expect that you will always do so and will not take responsibility for their actions.  Determine the details of your child’s bullying behaviour. Are there skills your child is lacking that may prevent future bullying incidents like anger management and impulse control? Seek professional assistance if required. Don’t dispel the value of a session or two with a psychologist if need be. Avoid humiliating or shaming your child, especially not in front of anyone else. Letting family members and friends know about what is going on, will not help. In fact, it could prove only to worsen the behaviour. Keep it private and the solution will be more easily achieved. Remember, praise may be public; but punishment, always private. Talk about the consequences of bullying; be sure your child takes the time to really think about how he would feel if he was on the receiving end. When children learn to see things from a different viewpoint, they are less likely to bully again. Raising your child’s emotional intelligence and instilling empathy will go a long way in preventing bullying. So consider carefully, your own actions and utterances as a parent; children most often, unwittingly emulate their parents.  When bullying is identified early and addressed appropriately, it usually won’t happen again. However, don’t automatically assume that this is the case. Instead, monitor your child’s conduct and continue to discipline him if necessary. If given the right skill set, most children who bully others can change. Stopping your child from bullying others can take some time, it’s not an overnight solution. Written by: Sedhoorajan Padayachee, Principal at Abbotts College Northcliff

May 2, 2019
StudyChamp

Helping your child prepare for exams

Start early, make a schedule, get enough exercise (and sleep!) and review past papers. These are all great tips to prepare your child for writing exams. But sadly these are most of the time only applicable in theory. As a mother of two sport-crazy boys, I’ve learnt that preparing your children for exams and assessments require far more. Because writing exams are by default stressful, I’ve decided to share a few techniques and great apps to help you and your kids study smarter and to take the stress out of writing exams.  Many studies have proven that, especially for younger children, formal assessments are stressful and the results are not necessarily a fair reflection of the child’s understanding of the work. While starting early and drafting exam schedules sound like great techniques, in reality it can become quite tricky to implement with young, not-so-eager-to-study kids who would rather play xBox, sport or even clean their rooms than actually sit and study. So let’s make it more practical: How should a child actually study? If this is your child’s first exam, he or she will need guidance, but sometimes an older child, who has written many exams, may benefit from a new approach.  These are some ideas to make studying easier for you and your child. Encourage your children to use as many of their senses as possible when studying to ensure maximum retention: Read through all the pages allocated for that day’s studying – preferably out loud. If you child is an auditory learner, let him or her record themselves while reading the text. This exercise of reading with meaning is crucial as it helps to give a bigger picture of the topic that has to be studied. Not all children study with notes, but it is definitely advisable to encourage your child to make notes in some form or another. Some children make lists, some make mind maps, some may write down only key words. Children making notes for the first time will need help as they tend to write down everything at first. Something that I found worked very well is helping your first-time-note-maker by writing simple questions which they then must answer by searching for answers in the text. These questions and answers can then be used as notes to study from. Just beware of the ‘perfect-notes’ trap. Do not spend so much time making perfect notes that there is no time left to actually study the notes!  Allow your child enough time to memorise and understand the notes just made. It should take an average Grade 4 child about 30-45 minutes to memorise one page of notes (which should represent about 3 to 4 pages in their books). Break this into two 20/25 min sessions with a 10 min break in between. Test retention immediately, if possible. Up to Grade 7 your child will definitely benefit if you are available to take a few minutes after a day of studying to check if they have retained the information studied. This will give you an indication if the study time was spent productively or not, and also if the study load (as set out in the schedule) is too little or too much for your child. The day before the exam, study only from the notes or listen to the recordings of your notes. Then do a past paper or mock exam paper to highlight any areas that still need attention. Super study schedules A schedule is an important part of exam preparation as it gives you a complete overview of exactly what needs to be done and how much time you have left. A schedule also give you a sense of accomplishments when you are able to draw a line through a day and know that you have achieved your goal. Your help will be needed with compiling the schedule, maybe even for your older child. Planning is an advanced skill that some children only learn a lot later in life. A few tips and ideas on schedules: Start by studying the subjects first that you write last in the exam. Effectively this means that at least your child would have gone over the work he or she writes at the end of the exam, when they would not be that eager to study anymore. Schedule time to makes notes and to study the notes. It is advisable to only make the notes for the topic or pages allocated for that day and then to study those notes. If possible, break each subject into topics and study a topic in a session. This will give a more coherent picture and understanding of the work. Do not over-estimate your child’s ability to study a lot of work in a short period. Rather allow for more time and more breaks than you think are necessary. Remember that normal school activities like sport and cultural activities will continue and should be factored into the schedule. The schedule should be updated and amended when necessary. The schedule should end two days before the exams start. The day before, only the subject/s written the next day should be revised. Download these brilliant apps to help you set up a schedule: My Study Life  This app provides a complete schedule and calendar solution and has a separate section where exams can be scheduled. It is relatively easy to use and reminders can be activated or de-activated for classes, exams or tasks. 30/30 30/30 allows you to set timers to complete specific tasks. The interface is sharp and innovative, allowing users to control the app easily with swipes and gestures. 30/30 Can also give you a better understanding of how long it really takes to do certain things. This is less of an exam planner and more of a timer that ensures you do not spend more time than planned on a specific task. myHomework myHomework is simple, reliable and works even without an Internet connection. Like the other apps, you can set tasks

May 2, 2019
Clamber Club

Making memories with your children

You don’t need an extravagant vacation to make a lifetime of memories with your children. When my son was two years old we went on a family holiday to Portugal, he was very excited about going on a plane. He enjoyed the flight and thought this was all very exciting but the carrying of luggage bags, staying at various homes of family and friends, not having our own bed to sleep in and not having our family routine was too overwhelming for him. He soon felt insecure and was not as excited about being on holiday. Two years later we immigrated to Portugal where our daughter was born, we made it a priority to do something exciting with them outdoors. We would make sure that every weekend and one day during the week after work we would have a family outing. In summer we would go to the beach and even in winter we would walk along the beach Picnic in the park Picnic by the lake on the mountain Visit museums and castles Go to various play parks where they could ride their bikes and climb on the jungle gyms One day I decided to camp in my living-room, the children brought their sleeping bags and their toys and my wife and I slept on the floor while they slept in between us and I must say that they were so excited. Although it was not comfortable it was worth seeing them so excited. This is a moment that I will always treasure with my children. This made me realise that you don’t have to always go out of your home to have a family adventure. Children treasure having quality time with their parents and these are memories that they will always treasure. A few suggestions: Have a camp out in your garden Board games evening Play hide and seek Picnic in the garden Movie and pyjama day Gardening day (plant vegtables and let them see it grow) Family baking day Go for a adventure hike Visit a nature reserve HOME is a special place for children and gives them a sense of belonging and security Contributed by Jose De Sousa of Clamber Club Sports – LynnwoodCell: 063 682 2520Email: [email protected] Website: www.clamberclub.com

April 24, 2019
Kaboutjie

6 Parenting Tips To Get Your Kids Listening

Being a parent brings many joys and along with those joys comes challenges. It is not always easy or simple teaching our children the things they need to know to keep them safe along with all the other skills they are going to need in life. My biggest frustration has always been how to get my kids to listen while still keeping myself calm and patient. I don’t want to be that nagging screeching mother. It has sometimes felt like nothing I do gets my kids to listen. Here are some of the things that I have learned that help my kids to listen: Are Their Needs Met? Now this may seem like it has nothing to do with getting your children to listen but it is actually really important – if my kids needs are not met they become grumpy little creatures that create mayhem everywhere they go. This is particularly true of my son that has just turned 5 years old. If he has not eaten properly or he is tired he is sure to melt down and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it. If my kids are bored, excited, hungry or tired I can’t expect them to behave perfectly or listen properly. As far as possible I try and be prepared for anything. I have toys, books, coloring books, crayons, spare clothes and emergency snacks and drinks in my car. This means that I can mostly meet their needs whenever and wherever we are. If we are sitting in a restaurant that has no play area and the food is taking too long I can whip out a book to entertain them and if they are getting hungry I can give them a quick snack to keep them going until their meal arrives, instead of moaning at them to sit still and to keep the noise levels down You will be amazed at how just this one thing can change a situation around. One of the challenges I have often had as a work from home mom is that my kids just want my attention. Instead of pushing to get my work done first I do something with them and I will let them know that I need to work afterwards and what is expected of them while I work. I get them started on that activity before I get going with my work. Their needs have then been met and then I can get some work done. Get Their Attention The next important thing is to get down to their level and talk to them. Get yourself down to their eye level and hold their hands, then ask them to look at you while you talk to them. Holding their hands will keep them focused on you while you talk. Once you have spoken to your children ask them to repeat back to you what you have said to make sure that they did in fact listen and to ensure that they properly understand what you have said. Yes you may be busy and trying to get something done so calling out for them to stop what they are doing may seem like the simple and easy way to do things but it really serves no purpose and you will most likely land up moaning, groaning, nagging and even yelling. Taking a few moments to get their attention properly and talk to them once will be much more effective. Use Positive Talk If you feel like what you are saying is going in one ear and out the other it probably is. If you want your children to listen try changing the way that you speak. Turn negatives into positives and see what a difference it makes. Your child will not enjoy hearing you saying this like “stop it”, “don’t do that”, “no” and similar negative statements. Instead replace those with positive statements that tell your children what they should be doing instead of what they shouldn’t be doing. Rephrasing something like “don’t bounce the ball in the house” to “please play with your ball in the garden” can make such a difference to the way that your child processes the information. Your child is much more likely to listen and follow your instructions when they are phrased in a positive way and the message is clear. Think about it – if you tell your child not to bounce the ball in the house are you telling your child what they should be doing instead? Explanations Very often children don’t understand why they can’t do something. Let’s take something very simple like the example of bouncing the ball in the house. If you tell your child not to bounce the ball in the house it is a negative statement that does not teach your child why it is important to play with their ball outside. It may take something as simple as explaining to your child that bouncing the ball and throwing the ball in house can lead to things in the home being broken. Broken things can result in dangerous situations such as being cut by broken glass. You can use situations as a way to explain to your children why you don’t want them to do something instead of just telling them what they shouldn’t be doing and leaving it at that. Use Books and Videos To Teach Your Children Lessons Children love reading books and watching videos. Look for fun books that teach your children lessons – they are sure to take these things in and start to understand things in a better way. There are also lots of free Youtube videos that teach lessons to kids. Children absorb information better when they are enjoying themselves and when it doesn’t seem like a lesson to them. There are so many amazing books that can teach your children lessons (like the importance of listening) and the values that are important to you as a family. Reading to your children is also a wonderful way of bonding with your

April 23, 2019
Parenting Hub

Positive discipline

When talking about discipline in schools, modern trends use buzz-words such as “Positive discipline”; “Values-based education” and “Character guides rather than codes of conduct”. The aim of these “different” or “new” approaches is to focus on rewarding and encouraging positive behaviour, rather than focusing on punishing negative behaviour. Children learn to cultivate habits, approaches and values, that are not only relevant to the classroom or school grounds, but to society, the adult world, and life. It might be too early to say in some instances, but it appears, through the experiences of teachers, that this “new” approach is working. Positive discipline is based on the idea that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviour. Below are a few tips to assist with positive reinforcement when disciplining your child: Create understanding rather than fear. Creating fear in a child, to stop them from repeating what they did will not completely stop them. They will still want to do it again. If you explain to them why “what they did” was wrong or inappropriate, there’s a higher chance of them not wanting to do it again. During this engagement understanding on both sides should be encouraged. The parent also needs to understand why their child did what they did.  Control yourself not the child Children strive for independence throughout their childhood. Give them the power and responsibility to make their own decisions and control their own behaviour. Don’t compare  Comparing children to others will encourage them to behave more defensively, resent their actions or themselves and lose confidence in themselves. Allow them to own their actions and don’t associate their behaviours with other children.  Don’t shame your child Discussing your children’s behaviour to others in front of them is not an effective way to express your concern, rather have this discussion in private. Children don’t need to be reprimanded multiple times about the same incident by other individuals.  Focus on their good qualities Nobody likes to be told that they’re wrong however constructive criticism is an effective method for self-reflection and behaviour change. Use your child’s good qualities to overcome their bad qualities. 

April 22, 2019
Kaboutjie

How To Get Your Kids To Go To The Dentist

We’ve all been there as a child—apprehensive, maybe even afraid of the dentist. Now as a parent, you face the other side, helping your child beat their fear of the dentist. The good news is, there are many things you can do to make the experience more enjoyable for them so that the next time they need a checkup, they go with a lot less fuss. Here are some of the things you can do to get your kids to go to the dentist. Start Dental Visits Early Many kids fear the things they don’t know. If you take them to the dentist early enough, they will be used to it long before many of their friends are.  As soon as they get their first teeth, you can introduce them to the fact that there is nothing to worry about. Let Them Talk to a Dentist There is nothing wrong with calling your dentist and informing them of your child’s apprehensions. A lot of the time, they will welcome a visit so they can discuss the process with your child. Even if they don’t end up being treated that day, it can go a long way towards helping future visits. Use a Family-Friendly Dentist. Some Dentists will be friendlier than others. Given this, you want to make sure you find one that specializes in family treatments, so you know your kids are in good hands. In terms of being family friendly, North Pointe dental options are abundant. Enquire before you visit your office of choice and see how they can make your child more comfortable. Do Not Use Bribery It can be tempting to offer a reward for visiting the dentist. This can add to the tension they are feeling. If you tell them that if they don’t cry, they can have X, then they will think about why they might cry just as much as the reward. Also, any offer of a sugary reward isn’t a great idea, for obvious reasons. Give the Dentist Space There is nothing wrong with holding your child’s hand if they ask, or even if you feel like you want to. What you shouldn’t be doing is interfere if they make a fuss about the situation. The dentist will be well versed in how to help your child feel more relaxed. It will be easier for them to do so if they are given the room to. Encourage Good Oral Hygiene If you encourage your child to develop good teeth care habits, then they will better understand why a trip to the dentist is necessary. Help your child to see that a dentist will work to keep their teeth healthy. Although it can be a stressful time for both parent and child, a few simple steps can go a long way. Your future trips to the dentist will run a lot smoother when you know how to help.

April 18, 2019
Load More

Sidebar Image

Scroll to Top