Bullying: What parents and schools can doARTICLE BY PROF RITA NIEMANN, NALIZE MARAIS, ZENDRÉ SWANEPOEL AND MONIERA MOOSA
Bullying is a great concern for both parents and schools. Here we outline a number of measures that can help them both parties deal with bullying.
Parents
When parents notice that their child is behaving differently – not wanting to go to school, using illness as an excuse, suddenly performing poorly at school or enuresis – and suspect bullying, they need to act immediately.
Firstly, they must determine where this is happing (at school, at a sports club, on social media, etc.) and who the perpetrator(s) are.
Secondly, if the bullying is taking place in an organised environment such as at school or sports club, the authorities need to be informed and requested to step in. They are legally bound to protect the rights of the child.
Thirdly, parents have the responsibility to equip their children to cope by:
- Instilling the knowledge that children must take a stand and that they have a choice in allowing someone else to victimise them.
- Assisting children to terminate relationships that are potentially harmful, such as blocking a person on social media.
- Helping them to identify bullies and the different forms of bullying.
- Creating a safe space for children to speak about what is happening to them.
- Emphasising assertive verbal communication if threatened.
- Building children’s self-concept.
- Getting the help of a psychologist, if necessary, to counsel the victim.
- Emphasising that respectful behaviour is always the best option and thus preventing retaliation.
- Fostering problem-solving and conflict resolution skills with the focus on restoring damaged relationships.
- Working collaboratively to solve the problem with their children so that they can feel reassured.
Schools
As bullying is a deliberate act to hurt someone, there must be consequences for the bully. Once teachers are aware that a bullying incident has taken place at school, the matter must be dealt with by:
- Asking the victim to provide the names of the perpetrator(s), as well as the names of friends of the victim, as soon as he/she has calmed down.
- Counselling the victim and finding out whether he/she has been injured and what effect the bullying or harassment has had on him or her.
- Cultivating a “no blame” approach towards bullying or harassment.
- Establishing punitive sanctions for both the bully and for any bystanders.
- Developing a bullying code of conduct/bullying policy and informing learners of this.
- Having designated teachers to deal with incidents of bullying.
- Facilitating mediation and discussions with the victim and the bully, depending on the severity of the bullying.
- Passing the responsibility to the bully or group of bullies to make sure that the problem is solved.
- Ensuring that potential bystanders understand that they have a vital role to play during bullying incidents.
- Letting the victims feel protected after they have reported the incident.
- Encouraging learners to make suggestions on how they can contribute to alleviating the negative experiences of the victim.
- Scheduling follow-up meetings to monitor the situation where each party has to share how things are going.
- Informing the parents of both the bully and the victim about the incident/s.
The principal and teachers have a crucial role to play in directing learners towards becoming responsible citizens. They should create a safe and secure environment, establish a non-violent culture, and be good role models for all learners.
Reference
Niemann, R., Marais, N., Swanepoel, Z. & Moosa, M. 2016. Problem areas in schools In: Jacobs, M. Teaching-learning Dynamics, Johannesburg: Pearsons
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How to Replace Screen Time with Foundational Reading SkillsMost parents are very aware that too much screen time for young children isn’t a good thing, but many are just as uncertain about what exactly the problem is and, importantly, how time can be more constructively spent without it becoming an additional daily burden adding to the stress of the adults.
“Taking the guesswork out of quality family interaction, which also assists in the development of the child, is half the battle won,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider.
Eaton says parents who rely on some screen time to get a bit of a breather shouldn’t feel guilty, but adds that they should ensure they also spend time every day connecting with their children through activities. Activities, which are both fun and will aid the cementing of the skills they will require for reading success in future, can be woven into the daily routine.
“We are constantly researching improved methods of teaching foundational reading skills from Grade 000,” says Eaton.
“Research into the reading brain indicates that 40% of children learn to read easily, but 40% of children are at risk and 20% at severe risk. Over twenty thousand studies of children failing at reading in the USA indicated that the bottom 40% of readers lack phonemic awareness, which is the ability to hear, identify and manipulate individual phonemes – the smallest unit of sound in the spoken word.”
Eaton says the human brain is wired for developing spoken language which is why, with good personal interaction, babies develop speech from an early age without intentional teaching.
“But there is no automatic brain wiring for reading and spelling, so all aspects of these skills need to be taught systematically and explicitly. Modern life has increasingly seen young children spend significant amounts of time in front of screens, which focus their brains on visual more than auditory content.
“The major problem with screen time is that much of the spoken content of what they watch is too fast and often indistinct, making them less likely to concentrate on it. This has impacted on the development of accurate listening skills.”
This all sounds quite negative, but the good news is that brain repair and the re-routing and development of neurons are possible and that with correct teaching, the children who would have learned to read easily will read at a higher level while the ‘at risk’ children will be able to read well.
So how can parents help their children?
1 – BY TALKING AND LISTENING
“In these days of digital media, we are talking less to each other and much of the communication taking place is instructive: ‘It’s time to bath. Pick up your clothes” etc. Instead, try to focus on generating discussions, for instance talk about the highs and lows of your day; introduce topics such as, ‘if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be and why’, ‘tell us about the best thing you saw today’.”
Eaton says it is important to ask open-ended questions (which don’t have a yes or no response), to elicit full answers. Dads are especially good at this!
2 – BY READING TO THEIR CHILD
Read both fiction and factual books from a very young age and join the library to give a wider choice. Choose quality stories that link to your child’s interests, not just Disney ones, Eaton advises.
“Let your child see you reading books and magazines. When you read a menu, shopping list, or road sign, involve your child and discuss how wonderful it is to be able to read and understand the information around you.”
3 – BY SINGING AND RECITING
Sing songs, recite rhymes together and read poems.
“Rhyming is such an important pre-reading skill, but fewer and fewer children learn any rhymes at home. Nursery rhymes are basically historical nonsense but children love them and they are easy to memorise,” Eaton says.
4 – PLAY WITH WORDS
Play with compound words – breaking popcorn into pop and corn, fishtank into fish and tank etc. They make good car games, and make a walk to the shops shorter and more fun. I Spy is another fun favourite but use the sound at the beginning of the word, not the name of the letter. Cat starts with ‘c’ not CEE.
Eaton says activities as listed above should be fun for adults and child, and should not become another chore for parents, but rather an easy, entertaining way to connect as they go through their usual routine in the morning and the evening.
Additionally, to build solid listening skills, parents should not repeat instructions and comments, as this programmes a child not to listen the first time.
“Parents should make eye contact (lower the phone!), and pay attention to what their child is saying so that they model the desired listening behaviour. Above all, be excited about your child’s developing language and literacy skills.
“Investing quality time in your children can be achieved by including them in daily routines. Complementing this time with activities such as the above can make a tremendous impact on setting a child on the path to their own personal academic excellence,” she says.
Parenting Hub is one of South Africa’s largest online lifestyle magazines, targeted toward Parents.
We understand that there are many aspects that encompass a Mother, Father or Child and strive toward providing resources and services that accommodates this.
Our content is aimed to inform and educate families on issues starting from pregnancy through to the challenges of the teen-age years.
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The link between emotional challenges and poor academic performanceHave you ever considered that your child’s struggles at school may be because of emotional challenges?
The academic year, as we are already aware, hold many stressors for children. What we are not always conscious of is that a child’s emotional state can directly affect the need to perform academically. In fact, according to Kerry De Jager, Head Franchisor at Step Up Education Centres, South Africa says, “Children who are experiencing emotional challenges (pain, uncertainty, family challenges, low self-esteem and fear) are more likely to struggle with the academic demands of formal schooling.”
Think of a time as an adult, for example, where you have had an emotional challenge. “It is incredibly difficult to focus on our jobs and careers when our emotional state is one of pain, blame or demotivation. As an adult we have developed the skills needed to cope with stress and anxiety and yet our emotional state sometimes hinders our ability to function in the workplace,” Kerry explains. She adds that developmentally some children are not yet ready to deal with these stresses and furthermore an emotional immature child will not have the coping skills to deal with the way their emotions make them feel. As the stresses of the year creep up on them, their emotional state will have a greater and greater impact on their ability to concentrate on their academic work. “An emotionally stable learner is able to take in and retain new information more effectively. Concentration skills are better and social relationships are a great deal more positive.”
Kerry gives the following tips to parents who you have a child who is struggling at school:
- It is important to look at your child as a unique individual and realise that academic performance cannot be looked at in isolation. If your child has not performed as well as what you expected, try and find out why. Aim at honest non-judgemental conversations that will enable you to understand the emotional state that your child has been in during the academic year. Are they emotionally able to cope with the grade that they are in? Has it been a particularly difficult year at home? Has your child had a significant change in their lives like a new sibling or perhaps a divorce? Has there been a change in friends at school or at social clubs? All these questions may provide some insight into why they have not performed as well as you anticipated. They will also afford you an opportunity to work together to find positive solutions.
- Remember that everyone wants to achieve success, whether they are willing to admit it or not! It is not in their nature to want to fail. Our role as parents is to guide, support, encourage and motivate our children to rise above the challenges of life to achieve the best version of themselves!
“Each child is unique and their needs all differ. If you take the time to try and understand why a child is performing the way they are, it is a huge step in the right direction. Be patient with your children as they navigate the world with you at their side!” Kerry Concludes.
Parenting Hub is one of South Africa’s largest online lifestyle magazines, targeted toward Parents.
We understand that there are many aspects that encompass a Mother, Father or Child and strive toward providing resources and services that accommodates this.
Our content is aimed to inform and educate families on issues starting from pregnancy through to the challenges of the teen-age years.
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