Rivalry Between Siblings

The marvel of having a sibling, it can be a blessing for some and for others it could be a whole different and negative experience.

The art of mastering sibling rivalry is yet to be achieved. The saying of it takes two to tango, two forces to collide; there are many, and all boils down to the cause of the tension or the circumstances the siblings find themselves in. Environmental stressors can also play a role in igniting tension in siblings and in the way siblings resolve conflict.  As parents we try to install good values and manners in our children and they develop an internal believe system, as well as morals of what is right and wrong. Sometimes they will test the waters, as well as your patience to gain the upper hand and to get what they want. Strong guidelines and borders are needed to teach them the value and meaning of discipline and for them to take you seriously.

Each child is striving to own his/her own unique identity, personality and independence. In that process there may be challenges, road blocks and obstacles that the child faces, and could be reasons for the outbursts.

The disagreement could be provoked by a third party, or an object, the root of it all is sometimes not clear, but the disagreement seems valid at the time. The sibling may think afterwards that it was all a silly attempt to win or gain something that is not that valuable in any ways. Disagreements could be about size, amount or value of the item.

Negative bouts could be caused by an array of triggers namely, sweets, toys, gifts, tiredness, hunger, jealousy, taking turns, making choices, boredom and long trips.

Rivalries between siblings are inevitable, and most of the times you cannot escape from that, but always know that you should strive for a good and positive outcome for both parties involved. It doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl, it could be opposite gender or the same gender. It also depends on the age of the child, when they are younger, temper tantrums are prone to happen when something is taken away or not given or handed over immediately. The temper tantrum can escalate or it can be controlled in a healthy and positive manner.

For a parent, guardian or caregiver it could be a challenge to install control between siblings It takes patience and a clear plan to defuse the situation. Sibling rivalry could be an ongoing situation or it could only last a few years. It is valuable to teach your child the value of solving difficulties and to be a good example of how you solve conflict. Consistency is the key for your child to understand how things work and what the healthy way is to solve any problems.

Janine
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