Practical tips for developing your child’s social and emotional skills

As children grow and develop, certain milestones are used as a basic measurement tool. When they are babies, these milestones tend to be more physical in nature: is your child sitting, smiling, crawling, saying simple words? As children get older, parents and teachers look for things like reading and language skills, understanding numbers, catching a ball, tying shoelaces. 

The more a child grows and begins to understand the world around them, the more complex developmental progress becomes. They start to develop an understanding of relationships, who they are, how certain things make them feel and the consequences of their actions.  

As parents, it is our responsibility to help our children to grow into well-rounded and socially adept adults. We need to equip our kids with the skills to live successfully in the ‘everyday’, as good and kind human-beings who are able to think critically, cope when things don’t go as planned, and improve the lives of those around them. 

After living in a global pandemic for the past year and a half, social and emotional learning is now more important than ever. While normality has been turned on its head, our children have had to cope with things that even we, as adults, are finding incredibly difficult. 

The teachers and educational psychologists at HeronBridge College developed the GROW programme in the Preparatory school to focus on social and emotional learning as part of the school curriculum. GROW presents activities that encourage children to use their internal resources, question how they think about certain things, whether their actions are kind – to others as well as themselves – and walks them through coping mechanisms for moments of anxiety and stress. 

The curriculum in the GROW programme is flexible and changes depending on the specific needs of the children in each grade. Last year, as children faced the new challenges presented by the pandemic, GROW was adapted to respond to the anxieties that they were facing and assisted them with tools to navigate this space. 

Megan-Lee Spence-Ross, Educational Psychologist & Head of Learner Support at HeronBridge, offers the following activities to support social and emotional learning at home:  

Invent a heart-powered super-hero

Ask your child what they believe to be their special ‘heart power.’ This could be kindness, generosity, caring for others, positivity, etc. Then carve out some time to talk about why this makes them special and what they would do with their super-power. Take it to the next step by drawing their super-hero, giving him/her a name, creating an outfit and presenting them to family with a story. 

This activity helps children to conceptualise and vocalise what makes them unique. Creating a super-hero allows them to look inward in a fun way that is relevant to them, and using their super-power for good encourages empathy. 

Make a worry jar

For children that need help coping with anxiety, this is a great exercise that provides a tangible way to verbalise and control their worries. 

Find a glass or plastic jar, give your child some colourful paints or stickers and help them decorate it, and then label the jar. Work with your child to write down all their worries on strips of paper, place them in the jar for safe-keeping, and schedule ‘worry time.’ 

During your set ‘worry time’ – which can be after school or in the afternoon, but not right before bed – allow your child to open the jar, add some worries to it, or take some out to talk about with you. Use open-ended questions to help guide your child’s thinking, encouraging them to find solutions to their problems. 

To help your child learn the skill of compartmentalising, stick within a given timeframe for ‘worry time’. Having an end to this dedicated exercise also allows your child to move forward, even if something is bothering them. 

If your child finds that worries creep in during the day – as is natural for many of us – have them write it down and save it for worry time. You might find that your child doesn’t want to worry on a certain day, or has none – celebrate this – and even better, if something is no longer causing anxiety, find it in the jar and throw it away. 

Find the gifts 

Whether your family has been in a self-imposed lockdown, school has been closed, or parents have been working from home, work with your child to find the ‘gifts’ in your ‘pandemic situation.’ 

Ask your child to snap some pictures or make a video of the things that they have enjoyed or found special. This could be something as simple as being home with beloved pets, sleeping in late because of online school, or afternoon bike rides with dad.   

By shifting the focus onto positive things, children are encouraged to create their own narrative in a space or time that might be very difficult for them. You might find it helpful to print out the pictures and stick them on your child’s bedroom wall as an encouraging reminder of the things that they find joy in.

Whatever tools you choose to assist your child in growing their social and emotional skills, the most important thing is to be there with them, actively engaging and showing them your love and care. Sometimes our children have feelings they can’t explain – that’s okay, so do adults – be their safe space and journey with them on figuring things out together.    

HeronBridge College

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Here’s How Tax Relief for Neurodivergent Kids Actually Works

If you’re raising a neurodivergent child in South Africa, you’re already doing a lot.

Appointments. School meetings. Forms. “Can you just send that report again?” moments. The daily juggling act of home + school + therapy + life.

So when someone says, “You might be able to claim tax relief,” it can feel like one more admin mountain… right when you’re already running on fumes.

Here’s the good news: tax relief is available, and there’s a real framework designed to give families some breathing room.

The bad news is: it’s not always obvious how it works, and the internet is full of conflicting advice.

This guide will help you understand the basics without spiralling.


Tax relief is available in South Africa

South Africa’s tax system includes support for families who carry additional medical and care costs. The main mechanism is the Additional Medical Expenses Tax Credit (AMTC).

It’s not a cash payout. It’s a tax credit that reduces the amount of normal tax you pay.

For many families, it becomes a crucial “safety valve”, especially when you’re paying for the kind of support your child needs to function well in the real world.


Where neurodiversity fits into the SARS framework

SARS doesn’t have a neat category called “neurodivergence.”

Instead, conditions like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, and PDA are considered based on their functional impact, in other words, how much they limit day-to-day life.

For tax purposes, a “disability” is defined as a moderate to severe limitation in a person’s ability to function or perform daily activities (including learning, thinking, communicating).

If your child’s challenges create a moderate to severe limitation that is expected to last more than a year, your family may qualify for tax relief.

If the limitations are considered milder, the condition may fall under what SARS calls a “physical impairment.” (Despite the name, this category isn’t limited to physical conditions and can still apply in some neurodevelopmental contexts.) 

Relief may still be available, but often with different thresholds and limits.


The common misunderstanding that trips parents up

One of the biggest myths is:

“If I have the diagnosis, we automatically qualify.”

Not necessarily.

SARS looks at whether the condition remains a significant limitation even after what it calls “maximum correction” (including appropriate therapy, treatment, or medication).

Because every child is different, eligibility is assessed case by case. Two families can have the same diagnosis and still have different outcomes depending on how the condition impacts daily functioning.

Which is frustrating, yes.
But also: it’s why getting clarity early matters.


Why paperwork and medical confirmation matter (even if you hate admin)

The admin requirements can feel like adding weight to an already heavy load.

But they’re also the keys to unlocking tax relief.

A diagnosis label isn’t enough. You need formal medical confirmation from a registered practitioner who is trained to give an opinion on your child’s condition.

The key document is the ITR-DD form (Confirmation of Diagnosis of Disability).

Whether this form is required in your situation can depend on how your child’s needs are classified (which is exactly where many parents get stuck).

Important: you typically don’t submit the form with your annual return, but you must keep it, along with invoices and proof of payments, for at least five years. 

SARS often verifies these claims, so having your paperwork organised from the start protects you later.

Think of it like this: a few clicks to save documents today can save you hours of stress later.


You don’t have to figure it all out today

If this feels complex, you’re not meant to decode it alone in between lunchboxes and meltdowns.

So we created a simple starting point for parents:

Download the tax relief cheat sheet at www.dalza.com/tax-relief-cheat-sheet/
 A clear summary of what you need to know (and what to gather), without the jargon.

Supporting a neurodivergent child requires enough time, energy, and emotional bandwidth as it is. Tax admin shouldn’t be another thing you have to white-knuckle your way through.

Start with the cheat sheet.
Get the lay of the land.
And take it one step at a time.

👉 Download the free tax relief cheat sheet at www.dalza.com/tax-relief-cheat-sheet/


Disclaimer:

This content is provided for general information purposes only. It is not intended as legal, tax, or financial advice. Tax outcomes depend on individual circumstances, and eligibility for tax relief is assessed by SARS on a case-by-case basis. We recommend consulting a registered tax practitioner or qualified professional before submitting any tax claims

HeronBridge College
Get a second chance at success

If you’ve recently completed Grade 12, you’ll know that your matric results can lead to many exciting opportunities. Your matric certificate can help you get into the university or course of your choice, it looks great on your CV and it can help you ace that job interview by showing that you have the necessary skills to do the job.

But, what if your results were not what you hoped they would be and all these opportunities seem out of reach? You don’t have to be stuck with your less-than-great grades for the rest of your life. You can get a second chance at success.

Impaq, an innovative education solution provider, can help. You can register to redo some of your Grade 12 subjects in order to improve your results. Plus, you don’t have to be an Impaq learner to qualify. If you went to a public or private high school or received your matric certificate through a distance learning provider, you can still apply to redo your matric subjects with Impaq. The only requirement is that you must have had a sitting for the final examination in order to qualify.

Once you’ve applied and been accepted, Impaq will register you with the South African Comprehensive Assessment Institute (SACAI) to ensure that you receive your new (and improved) National Senior Certificate after passing the NSC Examination for the rewritten subjects.

To see if you qualify, send an email to [email protected]. The final cut-off date for registrations is 15 February 2018.

HeronBridge College
Bullying: What parents and schools can do

ARTICLE BY PROF RITA NIEMANN, NALIZE MARAIS, ZENDRÉ SWANEPOEL AND MONIERA MOOSA

Bullying is a great concern for both parents and schools. Here we outline a number of measures that can help them both parties deal with bullying.

Parents

When parents notice that their child is behaving differently – not wanting to go to school, using illness as an excuse, suddenly performing poorly at school or enuresis – and suspect bullying, they need to act immediately.

Firstly, they must determine where this is happing (at school, at a sports club, on social media, etc.) and who the perpetrator(s) are.

Secondly, if the bullying is taking place in an organised environment such as at school or sports club, the authorities need to be informed and requested to step in. They are legally bound to protect the rights of the child.

Thirdly, parents have the responsibility to equip their children to cope by:

  • Instilling the knowledge that children must take a stand and that they have a choice in allowing someone else to victimise them.
  • Assisting children to terminate relationships that are potentially harmful, such as blocking a person on social media.
  • Helping them to identify bullies and the different forms of bullying.
  • Creating a safe space for children to speak about what is happening to them.
  • Emphasising assertive verbal communication if threatened.
  • Building children’s self-concept.
  • Getting the help of a psychologist, if necessary, to counsel the victim.
  • Emphasising that respectful behaviour is always the best option and thus preventing retaliation.
  • Fostering problem-solving and conflict resolution skills with the focus on restoring damaged relationships.
  • Working collaboratively to solve the problem with their children so that they can feel reassured.

Schools

As bullying is a deliberate act to hurt someone, there must be consequences for the bully. Once teachers are aware that a bullying incident has taken place at school, the matter must be dealt with by:

  • Asking the victim to provide the names of the perpetrator(s), as well as the names of friends of the victim, as soon as he/she has calmed down.
  • Counselling the victim and finding out whether he/she has been injured and what effect the bullying or harassment has had on him or her.
  • Cultivating a “no blame” approach towards bullying or harassment.
  • Establishing punitive sanctions for both the bully and for any bystanders.
  • Developing a bullying code of conduct/bullying policy and informing learners of this.
  • Having designated teachers to deal with incidents of bullying.
  • Facilitating mediation and discussions with the victim and the bully, depending on the severity of the bullying.
  • Passing the responsibility to the bully or group of bullies to make sure that the problem is solved.
  • Ensuring that potential bystanders understand that they have a vital role to play during bullying incidents.
  • Letting the victims feel protected after they have reported the incident.
  • Encouraging learners to make suggestions on how they can contribute to alleviating the negative experiences of the victim.
  • Scheduling follow-up meetings to monitor the situation where each party has to share how things are going.
  • Informing the parents of both the bully and the victim about the incident/s.

The principal and teachers have a crucial role to play in directing learners towards becoming responsible citizens. They should create a safe and secure environment, establish a non-violent culture, and be good role models for all learners.

Reference

Niemann, R., Marais, N., Swanepoel, Z. & Moosa, M. 2016. Problem areas in schools In: Jacobs, M. Teaching-learning Dynamics, Johannesburg: Pearsons

HeronBridge College
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