Is your child a bully?

Causes and possible solutions!

As a parent, it is devastating news to learn from the schoolteacher or principal that your child is a bully. Thinking that your child could harm others is a painful thought.

Children’s friendship skills are essential indicators of your child’s general mental health level. If your child participates in verbal or physical bullying, it could signify severe distress. Your child might be experiencing depression or anxiety and is struggling to regulate his emotions and behaviour. 

Time to highlight a few examples of why a child may act unfriendly towards other children:

  • He wants to fit in with the group that bullies a particular individual in the classroom.
  • He is often bullied at home or school and tries to regain a sense of power by acting aggressively towards others.
  • He wants to seek the attention of his class peers, teachers, or parents and feels he cannot get it any other way.
  • He tends to be more assertive and impulsive than others.
  • He is inclined to view the behaviour of others as hostile, even when it is not.
  • He does not fully understand how his behaviour makes the other children feel (this is especially applicable to young children).

Let’s have a look at valuable tips you can do as a parent to ensure your child harbors respectful relationships with others:

Communicate 

Be open and listen to what others have to say about your child’s behaviour and your own. 

Set the example at home

Parents must realise that their behaviour could influence their children, including how they speak to their children and spouses, and how they deal with anger and other challenging emotions. So make sure your homelife reflects the behaviour you would like your children to adopt.

Put meaningful consequences in place.

Punishment is only effective when it is meaningful and restricted. A privilege that is withheld for too long, for example, when you take away your child’s phone for cyber-bullying, loses its validity. Instill positive reinforcement and not negative reinforcement. Once your child has regained his privileges, you should explain the situation to him and allow for him to apologise.

Monitor the situation

Those surrounding him should always be on the lookout for problematic behaviour and praise him when he shows kindness towards others.

Stay connected

You should keep an open communication channel with your child, talk to him daily, and ask open-ended questions. Communication will place you in a better position to recognise signs of bullying. Children who share their news with their parents willingly feel comfortable speaking to them, which is an accomplishment. Therefore, you need to stay connected with your child in a supportive, non-judgmental manner. Connection is key to reducing aggressive behaviour in your child. However, if you are continuously working on your child’s friendship skills but the bullying continues, you should seek help. Your child might need a therapist’s help to work through underlying problems. 

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2 thoughts on “Is your child a bully?”

  1. Avatar photo
    Jax

    So many parents don’t want to admit that their child is a bully, it would be great for them all to read this article and realise that they can help their children….

    Reply
  2. Avatar photo
    Anonymous

    I think it starts at home… parents who bully their children instead of being nurturing filters down to the children

    Reply

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Here’s How Tax Relief for Neurodivergent Kids Actually Works

If you’re raising a neurodivergent child in South Africa, you’re already doing a lot.

Appointments. School meetings. Forms. “Can you just send that report again?” moments. The daily juggling act of home + school + therapy + life.

So when someone says, “You might be able to claim tax relief,” it can feel like one more admin mountain… right when you’re already running on fumes.

Here’s the good news: tax relief is available, and there’s a real framework designed to give families some breathing room.

The bad news is: it’s not always obvious how it works, and the internet is full of conflicting advice.

This guide will help you understand the basics without spiralling.

Tax relief is available in South Africa

South Africa’s tax system includes support for families who carry additional medical and care costs. The main mechanism is the Additional Medical Expenses Tax Credit (AMTC).

It’s not a cash payout. It’s a tax credit that reduces the amount of normal tax you pay.

For many families, it becomes a crucial “safety valve”, especially when you’re paying for the kind of support your child needs to function well in the real world.

Where neurodiversity fits into the SARS framework

SARS doesn’t have a neat category called “neurodivergence.”

Instead, conditions like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, and PDA are considered based on their functional impact, in other words, how much they limit day-to-day life.

For tax purposes, a “disability” is defined as a moderate to severe limitation in a person’s ability to function or perform daily activities (including learning, thinking, communicating).

If your child’s challenges create a moderate to severe limitation that is expected to last more than a year, your family may qualify for tax relief.

If the limitations are considered milder, the condition may fall under what SARS calls a “physical impairment.” (Despite the name, this category isn’t limited to physical conditions and can still apply in some neurodevelopmental contexts.) 

Relief may still be available, but often with different thresholds and limits.

The common misunderstanding that trips parents up

One of the biggest myths is:

“If I have the diagnosis, we automatically qualify.”

Not necessarily.

SARS looks at whether the condition remains a significant limitation even after what it calls “maximum correction” (including appropriate therapy, treatment, or medication).

Because every child is different, eligibility is assessed case by case. Two families can have the same diagnosis and still have different outcomes depending on how the condition impacts daily functioning.

Which is frustrating, yes.
But also: it’s why getting clarity early matters.

Why paperwork and medical confirmation matter (even if you hate admin)

The admin requirements can feel like adding weight to an already heavy load.

But they’re also the keys to unlocking tax relief.

A diagnosis label isn’t enough. You need formal medical confirmation from a registered practitioner who is trained to give an opinion on your child’s condition.

The key document is the ITR-DD form (Confirmation of Diagnosis of Disability).

Whether this form is required in your situation can depend on how your child’s needs are classified (which is exactly where many parents get stuck).

Important: you typically don’t submit the form with your annual return, but you must keep it, along with invoices and proof of payments, for at least five years. 

SARS often verifies these claims, so having your paperwork organised from the start protects you later.

Think of it like this: a few clicks to save documents today can save you hours of stress later.

You don’t have to figure it all out today

If this feels complex, you’re not meant to decode it alone in between lunchboxes and meltdowns.

So we created a simple starting point for parents:

✅ Download the tax relief cheat sheet at www.dalza.com/tax-relief-cheat-sheet/
 A clear summary of what you need to know (and what to gather), without the jargon.

Supporting a neurodivergent child requires enough time, energy, and emotional bandwidth as it is. Tax admin shouldn’t be another thing you have to white-knuckle your way through.

Start with the cheat sheet.
Get the lay of the land.
And take it one step at a time.

👉 Download the free tax relief cheat sheet at www.dalza.com/tax-relief-cheat-sheet/

Disclaimer:

This content is provided for general information purposes only. It is not intended as legal, tax, or financial advice. Tax outcomes depend on individual circumstances, and eligibility for tax relief is assessed by SARS on a case-by-case basis. We recommend consulting a registered tax practitioner or qualified professional before submitting any tax claims

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Sleep, Mood, Meltdowns: Turn Quick Notes into an Action Plan at School

If you parent a neurodivergent child, your days are full of small moments that matter.

The noise that tipped them over.
The transition that went better than expected.
The snack that helped. The one that didn’t.

You clock these moments in real time. But then the day moves on.

By the time you’re packing lunches or collapsing on the couch, the details are blurred because you’re trying to hold too much in your head. So next time the teacher or therapist asks, “What seems to trigger it?” your mind goes blank

This is the quiet stress most parents don’t talk about: the pressure to remember everything, because it all feels important.

For parents of neurodivergent children, the challenge isn’t noticing the small moments. It’s remembering them accurately, connecting them over time, and turning them into something useful, without keeping a novel-length diary or relying on exhausted memory.

What does help is a simpler approach: brief daily notes that take seconds, can turn a week of scattered moments into clear patterns, and real support at school.

Here’s how to do it. The only rule: one line a day

For one school week, write one short line each evening. Just a note you’d want to remember later.

If it helps, anchor it to this single question:

“What changed today?”

That change might be:

  • an unexpected calm transition
  • Teacher-reported after assembly meltdown
  • a small win that surprised you

Why this works.

This approach draws on simple journaling techniques that use one sentence a day to capture what matters, without overwhelm. When notes are short and consistent, patterns start to surface on their own. 

After a week, you’re no longer relying on memory; you’re looking at evidence.

And that’s where things start to shift.

After 10 days, look for just three things:

1. What showed up more than once?
 (“Late nights → tough mornings” / “Noise before lunch = meltdown risk”)

2. What helped, even a little?
 (“Headphones after assembly” / “Written instructions”)

3. What surprised you?
 (These are often the most useful insights.)

Turn it into a teacher/ therapist-ready message. 

“Over the last week, we noticed that when instructions were given verbally only, [Your child’s name] struggled to get started. When they were written or shown visually, they were able to work more independently.”

It’s this actionable insight that bridges the gap between home, school and therapy and gets everyone in the care team working towards the same goal: supporting your child. 

Keeping these daily notes in one place matters. When they’re scattered across your head, your phone, and half-finished notebooks, patterns get lost again.

Dalza is an award-winning app that gives parents a single, secure place to jot these one-line notes, spot patterns, and then share insights with teachers or therapists in a 1:1 or group chat. 

Small notes turn guesswork into clarity, and clarity is what helps your child get the right support, sooner.

Dalza is free for 30 days, so you can try the ‘one line a day’ technique and see if it helps reduce your mental load, risk-free. 

To get started today, simply add your name and email here. 

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Language Diversity at Home: How Everyday Moments Shape Confident Communicators

Language is more than words. It’s how children express feelings, understand the world, and connect with others. Dibber International Preschools says a home that embraces language diversity powerfully supports a child’s development.

“Children are naturally curious about words, sounds and meaning,” says Ursula Assis, Country Director for Dibber International Preschools South Africa. “When families nurture language diversity at home—through storytelling, songs, or simple conversation—children grow up more confident, empathetic, and open to the world around them.”

Homes are often a child’s first classroom, and supporting language diversity doesn’t require formal lessons or fluency. Rather, it happens through small, meaningful moments interlaced into daily life.

From chatting in multiple languages during routines to reading bilingual books or singing nursery rhymes from different cultures, these everyday practices help children develop flexibility in thinking, stronger memory, and an expanded emotional vocabulary. According to Dibber, the goal is not perfection but exposure – and joyful engagement.

“Using your home languages freely and naturally helps children make important brain connections,” Assis explains. “And it also tells them: who you are, where you come from, and how you express yourself matters deeply.”

Play-based approaches work especially well. Labelling household items in different languages, using pretend play to introduce new vocabulary, and turning learning into games or songs keep the process fun and pressure-free. Dibber’s Nordic-rooted philosophy encourages families to celebrate their cultural roots and make language a shared, emotional experience – whether it’s counting in isiXhosa, singing in Afrikaans, or reading bedtime stories in English.

Dibber also highlights the importance of patience. “Children develop at their own pace. Some might mix languages or pause before responding, and that’s absolutely normal,” Assis reassures. “The key is to stay supportive and engaged without rushing them.”

Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in shaping how children experience language. By modelling curiosity and respect – greeting neighbours in their home language, learning a few new words together, or showing interest in other cultures – families can help children develop a lifelong love of language.

“Nurturing language diversity is about far more than communication,” says Assis. “It’s about raising confident children who can connect with others, understand different perspectives, and thrive in a multicultural world.”

With more than 600 high-quality preschools across nine countries, Dibber is a global leader in early childhood education. In South Africa, its campuses in Gauteng and the Western Cape offer holistic, heart-led learning environments that reflect and celebrate diversity, including language and culture.

For parents wondering where to start, Dibber’s advice is simple: talk, read, sing, and play. Children may not remember every word, but they will remember how language made them feel: curious, connected, and seen.

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