Bullying: What parents and schools can doARTICLE BY PROF RITA NIEMANN, NALIZE MARAIS, ZENDRÉ SWANEPOEL AND MONIERA MOOSA
Bullying is a great concern for both parents and schools. Here we outline a number of measures that can help them both parties deal with bullying.
Parents
When parents notice that their child is behaving differently – not wanting to go to school, using illness as an excuse, suddenly performing poorly at school or enuresis – and suspect bullying, they need to act immediately.
Firstly, they must determine where this is happing (at school, at a sports club, on social media, etc.) and who the perpetrator(s) are.
Secondly, if the bullying is taking place in an organised environment such as at school or sports club, the authorities need to be informed and requested to step in. They are legally bound to protect the rights of the child.
Thirdly, parents have the responsibility to equip their children to cope by:
- Instilling the knowledge that children must take a stand and that they have a choice in allowing someone else to victimise them.
- Assisting children to terminate relationships that are potentially harmful, such as blocking a person on social media.
- Helping them to identify bullies and the different forms of bullying.
- Creating a safe space for children to speak about what is happening to them.
- Emphasising assertive verbal communication if threatened.
- Building children’s self-concept.
- Getting the help of a psychologist, if necessary, to counsel the victim.
- Emphasising that respectful behaviour is always the best option and thus preventing retaliation.
- Fostering problem-solving and conflict resolution skills with the focus on restoring damaged relationships.
- Working collaboratively to solve the problem with their children so that they can feel reassured.
Schools
As bullying is a deliberate act to hurt someone, there must be consequences for the bully. Once teachers are aware that a bullying incident has taken place at school, the matter must be dealt with by:
- Asking the victim to provide the names of the perpetrator(s), as well as the names of friends of the victim, as soon as he/she has calmed down.
- Counselling the victim and finding out whether he/she has been injured and what effect the bullying or harassment has had on him or her.
- Cultivating a “no blame” approach towards bullying or harassment.
- Establishing punitive sanctions for both the bully and for any bystanders.
- Developing a bullying code of conduct/bullying policy and informing learners of this.
- Having designated teachers to deal with incidents of bullying.
- Facilitating mediation and discussions with the victim and the bully, depending on the severity of the bullying.
- Passing the responsibility to the bully or group of bullies to make sure that the problem is solved.
- Ensuring that potential bystanders understand that they have a vital role to play during bullying incidents.
- Letting the victims feel protected after they have reported the incident.
- Encouraging learners to make suggestions on how they can contribute to alleviating the negative experiences of the victim.
- Scheduling follow-up meetings to monitor the situation where each party has to share how things are going.
- Informing the parents of both the bully and the victim about the incident/s.
The principal and teachers have a crucial role to play in directing learners towards becoming responsible citizens. They should create a safe and secure environment, establish a non-violent culture, and be good role models for all learners.
Reference
Niemann, R., Marais, N., Swanepoel, Z. & Moosa, M. 2016. Problem areas in schools In: Jacobs, M. Teaching-learning Dynamics, Johannesburg: Pearsons
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How to Replace Screen Time with Foundational Reading SkillsMost parents are very aware that too much screen time for young children isn’t a good thing, but many are just as uncertain about what exactly the problem is and, importantly, how time can be more constructively spent without it becoming an additional daily burden adding to the stress of the adults.
“Taking the guesswork out of quality family interaction, which also assists in the development of the child, is half the battle won,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider.
Eaton says parents who rely on some screen time to get a bit of a breather shouldn’t feel guilty, but adds that they should ensure they also spend time every day connecting with their children through activities. Activities, which are both fun and will aid the cementing of the skills they will require for reading success in future, can be woven into the daily routine.
“We are constantly researching improved methods of teaching foundational reading skills from Grade 000,” says Eaton.
“Research into the reading brain indicates that 40% of children learn to read easily, but 40% of children are at risk and 20% at severe risk. Over twenty thousand studies of children failing at reading in the USA indicated that the bottom 40% of readers lack phonemic awareness, which is the ability to hear, identify and manipulate individual phonemes – the smallest unit of sound in the spoken word.”
Eaton says the human brain is wired for developing spoken language which is why, with good personal interaction, babies develop speech from an early age without intentional teaching.
“But there is no automatic brain wiring for reading and spelling, so all aspects of these skills need to be taught systematically and explicitly. Modern life has increasingly seen young children spend significant amounts of time in front of screens, which focus their brains on visual more than auditory content.
“The major problem with screen time is that much of the spoken content of what they watch is too fast and often indistinct, making them less likely to concentrate on it. This has impacted on the development of accurate listening skills.”
This all sounds quite negative, but the good news is that brain repair and the re-routing and development of neurons are possible and that with correct teaching, the children who would have learned to read easily will read at a higher level while the ‘at risk’ children will be able to read well.
So how can parents help their children?
1 – BY TALKING AND LISTENING
“In these days of digital media, we are talking less to each other and much of the communication taking place is instructive: ‘It’s time to bath. Pick up your clothes” etc. Instead, try to focus on generating discussions, for instance talk about the highs and lows of your day; introduce topics such as, ‘if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be and why’, ‘tell us about the best thing you saw today’.”
Eaton says it is important to ask open-ended questions (which don’t have a yes or no response), to elicit full answers. Dads are especially good at this!
2 – BY READING TO THEIR CHILD
Read both fiction and factual books from a very young age and join the library to give a wider choice. Choose quality stories that link to your child’s interests, not just Disney ones, Eaton advises.
“Let your child see you reading books and magazines. When you read a menu, shopping list, or road sign, involve your child and discuss how wonderful it is to be able to read and understand the information around you.”
3 – BY SINGING AND RECITING
Sing songs, recite rhymes together and read poems.
“Rhyming is such an important pre-reading skill, but fewer and fewer children learn any rhymes at home. Nursery rhymes are basically historical nonsense but children love them and they are easy to memorise,” Eaton says.
4 – PLAY WITH WORDS
Play with compound words – breaking popcorn into pop and corn, fishtank into fish and tank etc. They make good car games, and make a walk to the shops shorter and more fun. I Spy is another fun favourite but use the sound at the beginning of the word, not the name of the letter. Cat starts with ‘c’ not CEE.
Eaton says activities as listed above should be fun for adults and child, and should not become another chore for parents, but rather an easy, entertaining way to connect as they go through their usual routine in the morning and the evening.
Additionally, to build solid listening skills, parents should not repeat instructions and comments, as this programmes a child not to listen the first time.
“Parents should make eye contact (lower the phone!), and pay attention to what their child is saying so that they model the desired listening behaviour. Above all, be excited about your child’s developing language and literacy skills.
“Investing quality time in your children can be achieved by including them in daily routines. Complementing this time with activities such as the above can make a tremendous impact on setting a child on the path to their own personal academic excellence,” she says.
Parenting Hub is one of South Africa’s largest online lifestyle magazines, targeted toward Parents.
We understand that there are many aspects that encompass a Mother, Father or Child and strive toward providing resources and services that accommodates this.
Our content is aimed to inform and educate families on issues starting from pregnancy through to the challenges of the teen-age years.
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Exams: Study Time vs Screen Time – Striking the BalanceHelping children to build a healthy relationship with technology, and knowing how much of what is enough, is challenging for parents under the best of circumstances. Exam time however throws a whole new spanner in the works, an education expert warns.
“While some parents might want to introduce new house rules or impose a total ban on screen time during important periods such as exams, that approach could be counter-productive,” says Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider.
“However it is necessary to review and agree on how devices and especially social media will be used during this period,” she says, “and parents and guardians should play an active role in assisting young people to strike the right balance.”
Payne warns that parents will face a lot of resistance if they implement a total ban on social media interaction, which will not be conducive to a positive studying environment.
“Matric and other exams are already very stressful, and social media can help learners and students unwind and let off steam by sharing their concerns, clearing up study material confusion and encouraging each other.
“A better approach would be to rather restrict social media during focussed 1-2 hour study sessions so concentration is not interrupted, and allow it during breaks – preferably away from the desk – in conjunction with a healthy snack and some fresh air.”
Payne says that in general, parents should assist their children to build a healthy relationship with technology from an early age, noting that technology has become an integral part of children’s lives.
“While there are of course dangers and concerns, technology has also brought many advantages and opportunities. Our children need to build a set of skills – hard skills and common sense ones – around technology as it will always be a huge part of their lives, whether when researching school work, investigating higher education options or searching for career opportunities, or whether for entertainment or engaging with social media contacts.”
She says that approaching technology positively and pragmatically right from the start can help families engage better.
“It can improve their resourcefulness, open up new avenues for learning and help them better understand how to manage social interactions. Parents need to be honest about their own concerns and should support and mentor their children by creating the right environment in the online world, as they would in the offline world.
“Encourage the learning, whether it is online or offline, but set boundaries and time limits on digital engagement, study methods (which should also include pen and paper and not just digital learning) and also digital social interactions during exam time. There are thousands of mobile apps and software applications that support learning in a fun and constructive way, and that can ensure that study time is in fact study time, and not Facebook time in disguise.”
Payne says there are 4 simple things parents can do to ensure healthy technology habits for life:
- Create and schedule fun offline activities and spaces where the family can interact without technology.
- Spend time with your younger children sharing your “tech time”. You can sit with them and create study notes or play an educational game together. This form of interaction can open up interesting discussions, in a natural way, and not feel like it is a forced conversation. The interest you show in your young child’s technology interactions will build a feeling of trust between yourselves and technology will be seen as a constructive tool for learning.
- Respect your children’s privacy. This could be as simple as asking for their permission before you share and tag pictures of them online. If they don’t want you to do it, then respect their wishes.
- Set boundaries (which the adults need to adhere to as well), for instance not interacting with technology during dinner or if someone is talking to you.
“Parents need to embrace our changed world and work with their children to encourage a balance between technology and the physical world,” says Payne.
Parenting Hub is one of South Africa’s largest online lifestyle magazines, targeted toward Parents.
We understand that there are many aspects that encompass a Mother, Father or Child and strive toward providing resources and services that accommodates this.
Our content is aimed to inform and educate families on issues starting from pregnancy through to the challenges of the teen-age years.
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