How to adapt to a new school and year

By Dr Claire Symington, Educational Psychologist and 

head of the Academic Enrichment Centre at Southdowns College Preparatory

“But plants grow again,” She murmured, focusing on the verdant beauty around her. “They put down new roots, create room for themselves in foreign soil.”  – Nalini Singh.

Starting at a new school or even moving from one grade to the next can, at first, be a rather daunting experience for a child. Your child may be worried about fitting in, making new friends and/or managing the academic demands. The anticipation may be making them feel irritable, short-tempered and even physically ill. Here are a few points to help your children find their feet when they have been bumped out of their comfort zone.

Check your own anxiety: Parents often project their own anxiety about change onto their children which only serves to further exasperate the situation. It is therefore important that your own anxieties about change are reigned in. If you happen to feel very anxious feel free to express your emotions to your child provided you also ensure that you are actively working towards resolving this emotion by focusing on the positive aspects and promoting excitement about the new opportunities that lie ahead.

Don’t dismiss their worries: it is important that you empathise with your child about the possible “what if’s” that may be running through their head. Perhaps they are concerned that they may not be able to make a friend, or that the work may be too hard for them or that they are not going to fit in. It is sometimes easy to dismiss these worries as irrational or ramble off a cliché of sorts to ease their minds – but that offers them very little comfort. Rather focus on practical solutions to empower them. If they are worried about the school work suggest that you will be prepared to organise extra tutoring or if they are worried about fitting in remind them of strategies that they could use to promote contact such as finding something that they may have in common with someone else or encouraging them to try out for a sports team.

Get your ducks in a row: Smoothing out any potential and unnecessary complications helps to keep the anxiety levels low. Familiarise your child as much as possible with the school’s expectations and culture by visiting the website, visiting the school beforehand and paging through previous yearbooks. Make sure that all the communication regarding school rules, the uniform, bell times etc. is read and understood so that any embarrassment can be avoided. Little things like making sure that they are on time in the mornings or having the right stationery goes a long way in helping them feel more settled.

Encourage social interactions: Get involved with other parents at the school by attending parent meetings, joining the PTA or volunteering as a class parent. Encourage your child to do the same by signing up for extra-curricular activities or inviting friends over.

Embrace change: Change is inevitable and transitioning from one grade to the next or to a new school serves as an exercise in teaching them how to navigate their way in uncertain circumstances. By exposing your children to new situations they are in a better position to improve their degree of adaptability.  By offering your support and encouragement, your children will be able to experiment with strategies that will serve them well when they come across unfamiliar situations in the future.

Be patient: Settling in takes longer for some than others. It is only natural that some parents may feel guilty about their decision to move their child to a new school and it may begin to seem as if your efforts have been futile … remind yourself and your child to be patient. If it does however appear as though they are experiencing severe anxiety or signs of school refusal, it may be a good time to ask your child’s teacher for additional support or contact a professional to assist your child with the transition.

 

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Here’s How Tax Relief for Neurodivergent Kids Actually Works

If you’re raising a neurodivergent child in South Africa, you’re already doing a lot.

Appointments. School meetings. Forms. “Can you just send that report again?” moments. The daily juggling act of home + school + therapy + life.

So when someone says, “You might be able to claim tax relief,” it can feel like one more admin mountain… right when you’re already running on fumes.

Here’s the good news: tax relief is available, and there’s a real framework designed to give families some breathing room.

The bad news is: it’s not always obvious how it works, and the internet is full of conflicting advice.

This guide will help you understand the basics without spiralling.


Tax relief is available in South Africa

South Africa’s tax system includes support for families who carry additional medical and care costs. The main mechanism is the Additional Medical Expenses Tax Credit (AMTC).

It’s not a cash payout. It’s a tax credit that reduces the amount of normal tax you pay.

For many families, it becomes a crucial “safety valve”, especially when you’re paying for the kind of support your child needs to function well in the real world.


Where neurodiversity fits into the SARS framework

SARS doesn’t have a neat category called “neurodivergence.”

Instead, conditions like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, and PDA are considered based on their functional impact, in other words, how much they limit day-to-day life.

For tax purposes, a “disability” is defined as a moderate to severe limitation in a person’s ability to function or perform daily activities (including learning, thinking, communicating).

If your child’s challenges create a moderate to severe limitation that is expected to last more than a year, your family may qualify for tax relief.

If the limitations are considered milder, the condition may fall under what SARS calls a “physical impairment.” (Despite the name, this category isn’t limited to physical conditions and can still apply in some neurodevelopmental contexts.) 

Relief may still be available, but often with different thresholds and limits.


The common misunderstanding that trips parents up

One of the biggest myths is:

“If I have the diagnosis, we automatically qualify.”

Not necessarily.

SARS looks at whether the condition remains a significant limitation even after what it calls “maximum correction” (including appropriate therapy, treatment, or medication).

Because every child is different, eligibility is assessed case by case. Two families can have the same diagnosis and still have different outcomes depending on how the condition impacts daily functioning.

Which is frustrating, yes.
But also: it’s why getting clarity early matters.


Why paperwork and medical confirmation matter (even if you hate admin)

The admin requirements can feel like adding weight to an already heavy load.

But they’re also the keys to unlocking tax relief.

A diagnosis label isn’t enough. You need formal medical confirmation from a registered practitioner who is trained to give an opinion on your child’s condition.

The key document is the ITR-DD form (Confirmation of Diagnosis of Disability).

Whether this form is required in your situation can depend on how your child’s needs are classified (which is exactly where many parents get stuck).

Important: you typically don’t submit the form with your annual return, but you must keep it, along with invoices and proof of payments, for at least five years. 

SARS often verifies these claims, so having your paperwork organised from the start protects you later.

Think of it like this: a few clicks to save documents today can save you hours of stress later.


You don’t have to figure it all out today

If this feels complex, you’re not meant to decode it alone in between lunchboxes and meltdowns.

So we created a simple starting point for parents:

Download the tax relief cheat sheet at www.dalza.com/tax-relief-cheat-sheet/
 A clear summary of what you need to know (and what to gather), without the jargon.

Supporting a neurodivergent child requires enough time, energy, and emotional bandwidth as it is. Tax admin shouldn’t be another thing you have to white-knuckle your way through.

Start with the cheat sheet.
Get the lay of the land.
And take it one step at a time.

👉 Download the free tax relief cheat sheet at www.dalza.com/tax-relief-cheat-sheet/


Disclaimer:

This content is provided for general information purposes only. It is not intended as legal, tax, or financial advice. Tax outcomes depend on individual circumstances, and eligibility for tax relief is assessed by SARS on a case-by-case basis. We recommend consulting a registered tax practitioner or qualified professional before submitting any tax claims

Parenting Hub
Get a second chance at success

If you’ve recently completed Grade 12, you’ll know that your matric results can lead to many exciting opportunities. Your matric certificate can help you get into the university or course of your choice, it looks great on your CV and it can help you ace that job interview by showing that you have the necessary skills to do the job.

But, what if your results were not what you hoped they would be and all these opportunities seem out of reach? You don’t have to be stuck with your less-than-great grades for the rest of your life. You can get a second chance at success.

Impaq, an innovative education solution provider, can help. You can register to redo some of your Grade 12 subjects in order to improve your results. Plus, you don’t have to be an Impaq learner to qualify. If you went to a public or private high school or received your matric certificate through a distance learning provider, you can still apply to redo your matric subjects with Impaq. The only requirement is that you must have had a sitting for the final examination in order to qualify.

Once you’ve applied and been accepted, Impaq will register you with the South African Comprehensive Assessment Institute (SACAI) to ensure that you receive your new (and improved) National Senior Certificate after passing the NSC Examination for the rewritten subjects.

To see if you qualify, send an email to [email protected]. The final cut-off date for registrations is 15 February 2018.

Parenting Hub
Bullying: What parents and schools can do

ARTICLE BY PROF RITA NIEMANN, NALIZE MARAIS, ZENDRÉ SWANEPOEL AND MONIERA MOOSA

Bullying is a great concern for both parents and schools. Here we outline a number of measures that can help them both parties deal with bullying.

Parents

When parents notice that their child is behaving differently – not wanting to go to school, using illness as an excuse, suddenly performing poorly at school or enuresis – and suspect bullying, they need to act immediately.

Firstly, they must determine where this is happing (at school, at a sports club, on social media, etc.) and who the perpetrator(s) are.

Secondly, if the bullying is taking place in an organised environment such as at school or sports club, the authorities need to be informed and requested to step in. They are legally bound to protect the rights of the child.

Thirdly, parents have the responsibility to equip their children to cope by:

  • Instilling the knowledge that children must take a stand and that they have a choice in allowing someone else to victimise them.
  • Assisting children to terminate relationships that are potentially harmful, such as blocking a person on social media.
  • Helping them to identify bullies and the different forms of bullying.
  • Creating a safe space for children to speak about what is happening to them.
  • Emphasising assertive verbal communication if threatened.
  • Building children’s self-concept.
  • Getting the help of a psychologist, if necessary, to counsel the victim.
  • Emphasising that respectful behaviour is always the best option and thus preventing retaliation.
  • Fostering problem-solving and conflict resolution skills with the focus on restoring damaged relationships.
  • Working collaboratively to solve the problem with their children so that they can feel reassured.

Schools

As bullying is a deliberate act to hurt someone, there must be consequences for the bully. Once teachers are aware that a bullying incident has taken place at school, the matter must be dealt with by:

  • Asking the victim to provide the names of the perpetrator(s), as well as the names of friends of the victim, as soon as he/she has calmed down.
  • Counselling the victim and finding out whether he/she has been injured and what effect the bullying or harassment has had on him or her.
  • Cultivating a “no blame” approach towards bullying or harassment.
  • Establishing punitive sanctions for both the bully and for any bystanders.
  • Developing a bullying code of conduct/bullying policy and informing learners of this.
  • Having designated teachers to deal with incidents of bullying.
  • Facilitating mediation and discussions with the victim and the bully, depending on the severity of the bullying.
  • Passing the responsibility to the bully or group of bullies to make sure that the problem is solved.
  • Ensuring that potential bystanders understand that they have a vital role to play during bullying incidents.
  • Letting the victims feel protected after they have reported the incident.
  • Encouraging learners to make suggestions on how they can contribute to alleviating the negative experiences of the victim.
  • Scheduling follow-up meetings to monitor the situation where each party has to share how things are going.
  • Informing the parents of both the bully and the victim about the incident/s.

The principal and teachers have a crucial role to play in directing learners towards becoming responsible citizens. They should create a safe and secure environment, establish a non-violent culture, and be good role models for all learners.

Reference

Niemann, R., Marais, N., Swanepoel, Z. & Moosa, M. 2016. Problem areas in schools In: Jacobs, M. Teaching-learning Dynamics, Johannesburg: Pearsons

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