Advice Column, Parenting

9 Things I Learnt From My Working Mom

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Recently my maternity leave ended and I shared with you my feelings about being a working mom.  Every now and then the guilt creeps in and I have to remind myself why I am doing this… My mom is my hero, and ever since I can remember she has been working her butt off to give me everything I ever needed.  I remember a time before my dad came into the picture and it was just me and my mom, I used to sit up with her at night and watch her make jewellery to sell at her stall.  My mom still makes her gorgeous jewellery, but now owns an amazing shop that she sells it in.

We all struggle to get over the guilt of leaving our kids to go to work, and we all struggle to perfect the juggling act.  The truth is, no matter what anyone says or try to make you feel… working moms are awesome! My mom is the best example, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned from her.  ** To avoid confusion, I refer to my stepdad as ‘dad’ as this is exactly what he is to me – although not by blood, he is my dad and I have never seen him as anything else.**

No Dream Is Ever Too Big 

My mom has always had this dream of owning her own shop.  When I was very little and it was just the two of us, she used to make jewellery at night and sell it at her stall (that stall led her to my dad in the end – very romantic story).  She worked at an insurance company during the day and also sold her jewellery to her co-workers.  After getting married my mom worked as my dad’s secretary and although she still sold her jewellery and paintings on the side, the dreams of her own shop had to wait a bit as I am sure my three sisters and I were a hand full.  One day she took the plunge and resigned. She started her tiny little shop almost 8-years ago, today she owns a successful and popular Arts & Gifts shop where she sells everything she loves – restored and refurbished furniture, her own clothing line, her jewellery, art and so much more!  Her shop has more than tripled in size and she gets to follow her dream every day.  My mom has always encouraged us to follow our dreams, she is a true inspiration.

Hard Work Pays Off – Nothing Is Going To Fall In Your Lap

You can’t expect to sit back and have opportunities, jobs, promotions etc. just fall in your lap… well, unless you look like Megan Fox or your last name is Kardashian. Successful people are not just gifted, they work hard and succeed on purpose.

Finding Balance Is Challenging, But Doable

At times it might seem impossible – there is so much to do and not enough hours in the day!  Through careful planning and time management it is doable, in time you will find your rhythm.

When You Earn It, It Makes You Appreciate It That Much More

Anything that is easily given holds no value.  Few things feel better than working really hard at something and seeing the results at the end.

Be Independent

The ability to be independent is something that not everyone possesses.  From when I was a little girl, it was my mom’s  Wonder Woman“I am Woman, Hear Me Roar” attitude that made me the woman I am.  I know that if I want to achieve something, I will.  That is not said out of arrogance; it is because I will not give up. I love knowing that I can succeed on my own, I love not relying on anyone else and I love being financially independent. I can stand my own ground, because that is the way my mom raised me.

Ask For Help

Many people mistake being independent for never asking for help – that is not the case. The reality is that sometimes we can’t do it all.   Accept this fact and build a trustworthy support network. Ever heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”? Learn to delegate… say I, the control freak.

Taking Care Of Yourself Is Part Of Taking Care Of Your Kids

We often put others’ wishes before our own in life – it kind of comes with the territory when you become a mom.  You’re never your best self to others until you take care of your needs and nourish your own soul first.  It does not make you selfish, it does not mean you do not care about your kids.  It just means that you understand the value of your own happiness and how it affects every aspect of your life. Make some time for yourself.

Your Kids Will Not Love You Less

I have this irrational fear that my kids might forget what I look like while I am at work, I am also scared that they will start loving their caregiver more than they love me.  Crazy? I bet you feel the same.  My mom worked her ass off, and I cannot recall ever feeling neglected or like she did not have time for me.  I cannot love my mom more if I tried, it is a kind of love that is impossible to explain.

Having A Job Does Not Make You A Bad Mom

Recently I was referred to as a ‘part-time’ mom… bitch please. You know all the cooking and cleaning, the organising and the helping with homework, the washing and ironing, the bath-times, poo nappies and feeds… I do all of that too.  In no way do I think that I am better than Stay At Home Moms – you guys have your own challenges and it is definitely not easy.  Just understand that I am a full-time mom, I am a damn good mom – and so are you.  My mom was and is the best mom, if I could be half the woman she is I know my kids will be just fine.

Having a working mom is an amazing gift.  Without her, I probably would never have realised my full potential or work as hard to pursue my dreams.  I want to provide the same inspiration and be a role model to my kids as well. If you are a working mom, please remember that not only will your children probably not hate you for having a job, but will very likely be inspired by your perseverance.

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  • Chanthea August 28, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    I learned that:
    No Dream Is Ever Too Big
    Hard Work Pays Off
    Finding Balance Is Doable
    When You Earn It, It Makes You Appreciate It That Much More
    Be Independent
    Ask For Help
    Taking Care Of Yourself Is Part Of Taking Care Of Your Kids

    Reply
  • Charne August 30, 2015 at 8:42 am

    Work hard and it pays off. Always appreciate what you have. And so that i can learn my children to work hard and earn for what you work for. (Mason – he loves to jump)

    Reply

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