By reflecting on both the highs and lows, we can gain valuable insights and feedback for ourselves to help guide us going forward. Here’s why:
Often lows are referred to as failures. I don’t believe in failures, only feedback. Each experience can teach us something about ourselves and the situation. When reflecting on a situation where you did not excel ask yourself the following questions:
1. Am I doing something I don’t really want to do?
- If yes, why am I doing this, what is the benefit here and for whom?
- If no, what else about this situation is making me feel uncomfortable or unable to excel?
2. Is it truly worth doing irrespective of how I feel about the situation?
- If yes, what is my motivation for doing this?
- If no, what are the consequences of going ahead regardless?
3. What do I want to do instead?
- How will it benefit me and others in my life?
4. Can I live with the outcome irrespective of what it may be?
- If yes, am I clear and comfortable with why I am doing this?
- Is there anything else I would want to consider instead?
- If no, what would I want to do instead and how will it benefit me and others in my life?
5. What if I did nothing? What would happen then and would I be ok with that?
- If yes, is there anything else I would want to consider instead? What do I stand to gain or lose?
- If no, is there anything else I would want to consider instead? What do I stand to gain or lose?
Think back to some of the decisions you have made this past year, how would you approach them differently now using the questions above? Would you have reached a different outcome and if so, why?
The highs can give us some great insights as to our decision process when we excel in situations. This could be because we had the necessary support, resources, knowledge, skills, insights or positive frame of mind that enabled us to excel in this particular situation. If we can apply this knowledge in situations going forward and excel even more.
One thing couples rarely do is set couples goals together. We usually focus on our own goals. Goals do not have to be big, hairy ones, they can be as small and simple as spending more quality time together. If you want to build and sustain a great relationship and family foundation consider setting some goals in these areas such as:
6. Do one family activity where you get to spend quality time connecting and bonding with each other
- Ensure the activity is age appropriate and something that everyone can do e.g. ten pin bowling
7. Set a goal together as a couple that you both work towards and where you both benefit
- Make sure it is realistic, achievable and something you both want e.g. putting away money each month for an overseas holiday.
8. Build a better relationship with each of your kids by getting to know your kids better
- Make yourself available for one-on-one time with each of your kids so you can learn more about them and what’s happening in their worlds.
You may to consider the Mancave Mastermind Program for men or The Womenology Masterclass. They’ll be kicking off in Jan 2017 and are jam packed with tools and insights to help you become a better person, partner and leader.
If you would like some help with setting your goals and plans for 2017 please get in touch with me, I’ll be happy to help you set a clearly defined action plan that will set you up for success!