Life at 90 degrees

Life at 90 degrees

A little while ago I came across these 3 quotes on a friend’s Facebook page. 

  • “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it”. Eliza Tabor
  • “Let’s face it: None of us are ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments. We can’t expect to be sheltered from every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life–one that must be dealt with”.  Joyce Meyer
  • “But you know that disappointment is just the action of your brain readjusting itself to reality after discovering things are not the way you thought they were”.  Brad Warner

Like many quotes that I see, it got me thinking & nodding along because I know the feeling of being disappointed.

So often we have expectations for our lives & for those of our children, expectations that we are not necessarily consciously aware of, until reality kicks in and you get that gut wrenching feeling of “now what?”

When it’s something that relates to you, you may get angry, act out in some way, become introspective, take time to absorb & decide on a way forwar5d.

When it is something that concerns your child, it’s a whole different kettle of fish.

I often say that you can negatively impact on my life, I’m an adult, I can deal with. Don’t in any anyway harm my child. I become a different person. I will keep at it until the matter is resolved. My husband sometimes tells me I have the makings of an activist.

And then there are those expectations that your child will lead a “normal” life. Yet you see them struggling every day and you can’t find the reason why. So you approach a professional and in the space of 30 minutes everything flies out the window.

This happened to me very recently. Even though I had that niggle in the back of my mind, I had to drag it into the light of day so that it could be poked & prodded. And then I had a choice. I could start asking the knee jerk questions of “How can this be?  Why me? Why my child?” or I could accept that from that day forward my approach to raising my child would have to change.

I had 10 minutes to make that decision!

I made my decision, it was for the latter. Does it mean that I am going to get through this with flying colours? Probably not. There will be those days that we all have as parents were we wonder if there is something we could have done.

All I can say is this. 

Trust your instincts.

Trust that you will always find a solution for anything that is affecting your child.

Trust that you will be able to handle what comes your way.

And then take one day at a time.

Be kind to yourself, this is a new path you are having to follow.

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