Perspective is one of those things that is as part of human nature as the need to blink your eyes. Yet that is where the similarity ends. Every person has a different perspective on every aspect of life, even slight, due to culture, societal norms, whether you are male or female, the list is endless.
In some instances you may have a certain perspective on a topic because you’ve been told that that is what your perspective will be. There is no space allowed to question. Other times, your perspective is due to your personal experience. Yet again, people can be in the same room, experiencing the same event and every one of them will have a slightly different perspective on what is or has happened.
Our perspective is also what feeds our thoughts. It feeds the story we tell ourselves. It keeps us within the confines of the proverbial box we have created for ourselves or worse, what someone has created for us.
When I work with a client for the first time, I ask them to tell me their story. There is a school of thought that says this isn’t necessary, however I disagree. By listening to your story I have an understanding of how you perceive yourself & your surroundings, I get to hear how you speak to & about yourself.
Clients generally talk about having a problem or issue to deal with. I suggest that they start looking at it as a particular situation that requires a solution, an opportunity. As soon as they change the type of language they use, they create a space in their brain, enabling them to think differently about a situation. How? Positive language engages different hormones; their brain reacts differently allowing them to function at a different level.
So let’s try an experiment.
What issue or problem is currently top of mind? Write it down.
When you read this statement, how do you feel? Write it down.
How do you feel about finding a solution? Probably not very confident.
Let’s reframe the original statement.
Re-write your original statement as a situation requiring a solution or as an opportunity.
No I haven’t lost my mind. Here is an example: Original statement – My ex is a self-centred idiot, hell bent on disrupting out lives! Reframe – My ex and I are not communicating well, this is creating a stressful situation for everyone. What can I do differently?
This does take a bit of practice. I encourage you to try this every time you get that feeling about a situation that drops your energy and “makes” you feel less than.
You see, ultimately your perspective of a situation determines whether you are able to work through it. By staying in that box you are limiting your ability to get yourself out the other side constructively. The key word in this sentence is constructively.
Yes, people cross out paths and we feel less than. Be careful of allowing someone’s stated perspective of you becomes your reality. If you are in a relationship where the other person is constantly telling you who or how you are or even what you may or may not do or who you spend time with, take a step back. You may be in an abusive relationship.
In closing I’d like to say this: When you give yourself the space & time to assess your perspective on a situation, you allow yourself the space to make better decisions.